Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Turning Point
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance; humor; angst
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Turning Point ---------------------

[Director Vance's office, MTAC]

"OUT OF MY OFFICE, DiNOZZO! I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN!"

"Tony?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE?!!! DAMMIT, VANCE, ANSWER ME!!!"

"DiNOZZO, IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF HERE IN FIVE SECONDS I WILL HAVE YOU REMOVED!!! IS THAT CLEAR?!!!"

"Tony, please... Listen... You don't understand..."

"OH, I UNDERSTAND, JEANNE -- I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU TRIED TO KILL ME TWICE!!! AND ZIVA -- YOU DID YOUR BEST TO TAKE HER OUT, TOO, YOU PSYCHOTIC, TORTURING, MURDEROUS BITCH!!!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, AGENT DiNOZZO!"

"TONY! CONFERENCE ROOM! RIGHT NOW!!!"

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[in the elevator]

"What the HELL were ya THINKIN', DiNOZZO, bustin' into Vance's OFFICE like that?!!!"

"BOSS... He's got JEANNE in there! JEANNE!!! Remember JEANNE?!!! Crazy gun-running ex-girlfriend who tried to get me sent up for her old man's murder? Lured me to Tel Aviv so she could kidnap and torture me when I was looking for Ziva, who she'd ALSO kidnapped and tortured? And, oh yeah, let's not forget how she nearly killed BOTH of us on that little trip. Then she went in for seconds in Rome? I didn't appreciate being beaten into a coma with that telephone receiver, Boss! Or having my chest shot up to resemble SWISS CHEESE!!!"

"So ya WEREN'T THINKIN'!!! THAT'S what I'm hearin' outta you right now!"

"Thanks for the 'welcome back,' Boss. I missed you, too."

"Go HOME, Tony."

"Go to HELL, GIBBS!"

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[Tony's apartment]

"Tony? You are home early... Is everything alright? You do not look... well, my love. Are you feeling...?"

"Oh, I'm FINE, Ziva! COULDN'T be BETTER!"

"What has happened?"

"Just another day at the office, baby! Rolled in at 0700, sat down at my co-opted DESK, got into it with some chick from the L.A. office, made a few cracks at Probie's expense -- ohhhhh Ziva... ha-HAH! my GOD, you oughta SEE the look he's got goin' now... think nightmare spawn of an unholy union between Fonzie and Gandolf -- and then I went up to have a nice confab with Vance about the L.A. chick's attitude -- SHE'S a bitch on wheels... literally -- and GUESS who's in the director's office for some morning coffee and socializing? The schizo third SIDE of this little love/hate TRIANGLE we've got goin' on -- JEANNE!!!"

"Jeanne Benoit... is here?"

"Yeah, she's HERE. She's REAL 'here' -- unless that was her psycho clone sitting there in Vance's office this morning. And I wouldn't put it past her. OR him!!!"

"I do not understand. My father had told me that he and the director were working jointly to bring in Kort, Hadar and Jeanne. Kort and Hadar have been neutralized. Only Jeanne remained and because of her condition..."

"Well, her condition's changed -- and not for anyone ELSE's good. DAMMIT, why the HELL was she in there with Vance like ... like they were..."

"... sick as thieves?"

"Close enough. Something's wrong here, Ziva. We're WAY off base. We've MISSED something. DAMMIT!!!"

"Was Gibbs in the office?"

"Yeah... He was there, alright."

"Did you speak with him?"

"You could say we talked, yeah."

"Did you tell him that Vance had Jeanne in his office?"

"Didn't have to. Saw it with those baby blues of his for himself."

"And what did he say?!!!"

"'Go home, Tony.'"

"What? That makes no sense! Gibbs sees Jeanne, who has tried to KILL us both, in Vance's office and says only for you to LEAVE the office? I do not understand -- at ALL!"

"I told him to go to hell. Ha ha HAH! Told Leroy Jethro GIBBS to go to H-E-double-hockeysticks! The Boss, Ziva... I talked to him like no man who's ever lived to tell about it has."

"Yet here you are. Alive."

"For now."

"You will have to control yourself, Tony. You must return to MTAC tomorrow, apologize to Vance and Gibbs and learn -- somehow -- why Jeanne is there. You do not think she was in criminal custody?"

"HELL, no! She was sitting in there like she OWNED the place! But ... there was one thing that seemed kinda weird. She was wearin' dark glasses. Took 'em off when she heard my name. Kinda looked towards where I was but it was like she didn't really see me."

"I will investigate from here and will alert my father as to this... development. Obviously, plans will need to be rearranged."

"Wait... I'm still takin' her out! Ziva, we can't back off that. It's too important."

"Tony, we must reassess the situation. As you said, we have failed to consider some angles. But it doesn't mean the entire mission is lost. Perhaps another Mossad agent would have more cover..."

"NO! No way in HELL am I gonna trust ANYONE else to get Jeanne OUT of our lives once and for ALL, Ziva!!!"

"NO one else, Tony? You have NO faith in ANYONE who ALSO wishes to have us finally FREE of her?!!! After EVERYTHING she has PUT YOU through?!!! Put US through?!!!"

"Of course. Of course I do, Z. I didn't mean it like that. You know I believe in you."

"Then tomorrow, you will report at 0700. You will sit at your desk. You will take your shots at McGee. You will befriend the L.A. agent. She may prove useful to us. You will make your sincere apologies to Director Vance. And, most importantly, you WILL make your peace with Gibbs. He is NEVER our enemy! Do you understand?"

"Yes, Boss."

[Gibbs-slaps Tony]

"Do not EVER call me 'Boss' again."

"Yes, Sweet Cheeks."

"That is better."

"And while I'm doing all this, you'll be...?"

"Figuring a way to make it look like an accident. WHILE you are in the office. With plenty of witnesses for your alibi."

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[Director Vance's office]

"You better get DiNozzo under control, Gibbs. I will NOT have my HOUSE torn apart this way! Is that understood?"

"Ohhhh yeaaahh... Read ya loud 'n' clear, Leon. What I DON'T understand is, when did Jeanne Benoit become your coffee break buddy?"

"You want to be the next to get the special escort out of my office?"

"Just askin' about our new houseguest."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[outside the elevator]

"Hold it. Goin' down."

[inside; elevator stops]

"What's wrong? Why... why are we stopping? Is something the matter with the elevator?"

"Nahhhh... Everything's fine. Don't you worry about a thing... Jeanne."

"Who's there?"

"Nobody here but us chickens."

"Please... who are you?"

"I'm a little hurt you don't remember. Special Agent Gibbs? WE had coffee together once. Long time ago. Last time you were here. When ya tried to finger Tony for your father's death."

"Yes... I remember now. I'm... sorry, Agent Gibbs. Since my accident, some things are ... not as clear as others."

"I bet. Well, let's talk about what IS clear: You and Vance. Looks like you've made a good friend in a high place, Jeanne."

"I ... I'm sorry. I can't talk to you about that."

"Ohhhh, sure you can. And you WILL."

"NO, I won't!"

"You wanna see the outside of this elevator again?"

"Don't you DARE threaten me! You DON'T scare me!"

"Just like her. Except that you're NOTHING like her."

"Her WHO? What are you talking about?"

"A good friend in a high place that we both had in common."

"And WHO would THAT be, Agent Gibbs?!!!"

"Your mother."