Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: A Room With A View
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance; humor; angst
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: A Room With A View ---------------------

Here we go again. Our second date with the ex at HER place. Last time Ziva and I spent a night in one of Jeanne's little snake pits, we both ended up getting knocked out. But, yeah -- we also ended up having awesome sex in Jeanne's bed, which was kinda weird but still really, really hot, so I guess the evening wasn't a total loss. I gotta say... making love to your smoking NEW girlfriend in your psycho OLD girlfriend's bed? Best form of revenge ever. I know I felt better after a couple rounds with Ziva on Jeanne's high thread-count linen. Sorry we couldn't stick around to do the laundry, Doc, but we were in a hurry -- to track your sorry, gun-running ass down. Just send us the dry cleaning bill and we'll call it even.

Don't think I'll be getting lucky tonight, though. We followed Jeanne and her driver to some swank address here in Georgetown. Lot nicer looking building than where she lived back when we were seeing each other and she was feeding me the whole line about being kicked out of her place and needing to find somewhere else to live. Damn, I really bought that? What the hell were you thinking, Anthony? She reeled me in hook, line and sinker with those eyes of hers -- all that crying and laying on the drama. God, I was an idiot. To believe any of that. To let myself be taken in. To even take that assignment in the first place. I know why Jenny picked me for the job but I'll never understand why I let myself get so damn ... involved.

But hey... I'm with Ziva now. And that's all that matters.

Now all that's left is getting Jeanne out of the picture. So Ziva and I can make a life together where we're not always wondering if Jeanne's right around the next corner, waiting to do whatever she can to try ruining things. As long as Jeanne's alive, Ziva and I will always be looking over our shoulders.

And as long as she's alive, I'll never be able to let go of all this hate I feel towards her.

She stole a year of my life away with her lies -- a year I should've had with Ziva.

She tortured me. She tortured Ziva. She tried to kill both of us. She almost did.

I want her dead.

Yeah, but first we gotta figure out what she's up to here in D.C. So that means a night of stakeout pizza, coffee and Ziva making snoring sounds louder than Leatherface's Husqvarna in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." My kinda evening.

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Been sitting out here in the car for hours now. Knew I shouldn't have had all that coffee. Really gotta pee. Can't because if I got out and blew our cover to go have a little "me time," Ziva would make sure all the future bathroom breaks I took would involve tubing and bags. But DAMMIT, I GOTTA GO! Sweet Cheeks will just have to understand.

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Ahhhhh... that's better. And what's more? I was able to do a little recon while I was otherwise... engaged. Turns out there's an apartment for rent right across from Chez Jeanne. From what I could see, looks like it's got a great view into her place. Ziva says maybe it's time she checked into finding some new digs. I'd ask her how the dead can rent a one-bedroom here in D.C. but the truth is, it's probably easier for them than it is for those of us who are still, you know, alive.

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I spy with my little eye... that Jeanne's driver took her up to her apartment about four hours ago and we haven't seen him since. He was a young, good looking guy so my guess is she's got him in the sack or she's whacked him into about 50 bloody pieces. Maybe both if she was feeling frisky.

Nope, spoke too soon. He just came out to the car, buttoning up his shirt. Apparently, it's only me Jeanne feels the urgent need to murder. Guess I really am special to her.

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Ziva, I love you. I do. Really, Sweet Cheeks. But when we're done spying on Jeanne and pulling double-duty for NCIS and Mossad and you're technically alive again, I'm taking you to see a doctor about your GODAWFUL SNORING! Jesus CHRIST, it's like somebody...

Hey... HEY! Action happening! Right NOW! Someone pulling up...

Guy getting out of a car... heading into Jeanne's building. Ziva... ZIVA!!! WAKE UP!!! DAMMIT, WAKE UP!!!

Out like a light. HELL!!!

Focus, Tony. Light on in Jeanne's place... Where the HELL are those binoculars?!!!! Oh...

C'mon, Jeanne... move over juuuuust a little bit so I can see HIM. Ahhhh... Ah HA! Ha HAH! THAT'S IT! COME TO PAPA!

GOTCHA! HAH! And let's see who Bachelor No. 2 is...

Wait. Hold on...

What the...

No. No WAY!

Callan?!!!