Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Midnight Cowboy
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance; humor; angst
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Midnight Cowboy ---------------------

'Good' in bed. 'GOOD' in bed!

'Good' in bed, huh?

Oh, we'll see about that, Sweet Cheeks.

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[Jeanne's apartment - Georgetown]

"What are you doing here? I'm trying to get some sleep."

"How I so enjoy these late-night visits, Jeanne. Give me almost as much pleasure as my last root canal -- almost."

"Go to hell, Callan!"

"Trust me, honey, I've been there. And now I'm here. Not much difference, except the decor's nicer in this place. A little."

"What do you WANT?"

"To leave. To not have to spend another second around you. World peace. So many things. But since Gibbs has me on babysitting detail where you're concerned, it doesn't really matter what I want. I'm just here to make sure you don't go looking for Tony so you can go for the trifecta in the Doing Away With DiNozzo Stakes."

"Very funny. I see that you're about as good at comedy as you are at being an agent."

"You don't SEE anything."

"You bastard! I'm going to bed now."

"Alone? Or are you going to reach out and touch someone, you know, to finish off the evening? Like your friend the limo driver?"

"Good night, you son of a bitch."

"Yep, sleep tight, Jeanne. 'Cause when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall and I'll be sitting right here, keeping my eyes on you. Really, it's every guy's dream job."

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Mmmm... NOW let's hear Ziva say I'm just 'good' in bed.

...and the Award for 'Most Outstanding Achievement In Sexual Positioning' goes to... ANTHONY DiNOZZO! Heh heh... Look at her. Not even SNORING. Ahhhh yeah... I still got it. Not that I ever lost it. But I still got it. Just in case there was ever any question. Which there wasn't.

But... that fight we had. Why would she say I'm obsessed with Jeanne? There's no way in HELL that's true. No damn WAY.

Is it?

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[Director Vance's office]

"Listen, my wife is NOT happy about me pulling this all-nighter! I've missed dinner THREE TIMES this week and she's getting suspicious."

"She thinks you are involved with another woman?"

"HELL no! She thinks I'm working too DAMN hard! She knows I wouldn't cheat. You've met my wife."

"Ha ha! I have, my friend. You would not survive an affair!"

"Wouldn't do it, anyway. I love her. Best thing that's ever happened to me. Which is WHY I'd rather be HOME right now -- asleep in my bed! This is out of hand now. We've lost control of the whole damn thing."

"Do not worry. If anything, we have more control than before."

"Oh, really? And how you figure that?"

"Hadar is neutralized; I've made certain of that. You have Kort in custody and the Benoit girl will soon be handled as well; she is none the wiser about Kort -- nor is he aware of her status. We are now in position to simply sit back and watch the rest of the players take each other out. Now, Leon, we enjoy the role of spectators."

"I hope you're right."

"Have I ever not been? Now, please. Go home to your lovely wife and give the children a kiss from me."

"And you? In D.C. for a little R&R?"

"Business always before pleasure."

"Mmm-hmm... So I take it you're going to see Ziva, then."

"Of course. What kind of father would I be if I did not visit my daughter?"