Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: High Anxiety
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance; humor; angst
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: High Anxiety ---------------------
I did it. I shot Jeanne. Shot her right where she stood.
Turned around and took her out before she could do it to me first. It was just like in one of those Sam Peckinpah movies, where everything's in slow motion all of a sudden and there's no sound and I just spun around when I heard her gun click and I drew first and fired: BANG! BANG! BANG!
And she kind of jerked around and her gun dropped and then she dropped -- dropped like a rock. Hit the floor. Blood went everywhere. Laid there trying to breathe, looking up at me.
I ran. Got the hell outta there. Had to.
I swear I thought I could do it. Thought I could just take her down like any other criminal I've had to nail on the job. And I wanted to do it, too. I wanted to pull the trigger. I swear I did. I thought I did.
But now I just ... can't breathe. Can't believe I wanted to kill someone that much. Just cold-blooded kill someone like that. Even Jeanne, even after everything she's done to me and Ziva and now to Callan.
I thought I could do it. I really did. Hell, I trained with Ziva's old man. With ZIVA. She can do it. Sleeps like a baby after she does it.
Me, I can't.
I need Ziva. I gotta talk to Ziva. I gotta see her.
Because, hey -- I really REALLY just screwed up, shooting Jeanne like that. I'm not a killer.
I'm not a killer.
God... what have I done?