ACT II
*George and Jerry in booth at Monk's*
GEORGE: What do you think Godzilla has against big cities.
JERRY: Well they represent the "big business first" attitude of the Western world. A world where the little people are squashed underfoot, metaphorically. A world where whoever controls the money, controls everything.
GEORGE: So his response is to cause millions of dollars of property damage, injury, death and widescale panic?
JERRY: Well, casualties are inevitable.
*Elaine enters*
ELAINE: *sadly* Hi...
JERRY: Hey. Say, where's your boyfriend I thought we were having lunch together.
ELAINE: Yeah? Join the club...
GEORGE: What? Did you break up?
ELAINE: No, he called me before I left to tell me he had a make-or-break business meeting to attend... again
GEORGE: Uh-oh
ELAINE: What?
JERRY: I hate to say this Elaine...
*long pause*
JERRY: So I'll let George do it
*George is taken aback*
GEORGE: Well... uh... Elaine... I would have to say that... Well you see... Your boyfriend is...
ELAINE: Ugh... Jerry would you mind.
JERRY: Well, in my proffensional opinion your boyfriend is a "playa"
ELAINE: No!
JERRY: Yes.
ELAINE: No... This is ridiculous, Rob isn't like that! He's very restrained. I had to make the first move.
JERRY: Don't you see? It's perfect! He's getting his fix from someone else to restrain himself.
GEORGE: Meanwhile he conveys a pious "restrained" image with you that secures your trust and allows him to continue his... promiscuous... lifestyle.
JERRY: The man is a genius...
ELAINE: No, his job is very demanding. He's a high powered executive of a hardware company!
GEORGE: Has he given you a work adress?
JERRY: Work number?
GEORGE: Work name?
ELAINE: Okay! I get the picture! But how do I find out for sure?
GEORGE: Ask him about his job.
ELAINE: No I can't now, I already told him I don't like talking about work.
GEORGE: So say you have a friend who's looking for a drill. I can be the friend.
ELAINE: That's... not a bad idea. Thanks!
GEORGE: No problem.
*Man wearing Hawaiin shirt enters room*
MAN: Oh! Jerry Seinfeld, thank god I found you!
JERRY: Uh... Hello?
*Man pulls out business card and gives it to Jerry*
MAN: I'm with the Chuckle Saloon
JERRY: Oh you guys again!? I believe I made it very clear to your boss that I wasn't working for you guys anymore!
MAN: Yeah, well he's very sorry.
JERRY: Then why isn't he here in person?
MAN: Well he's in an important meeting right now.
JERRY: Really? What's her name?
MAN: Listen, he'd really like you to perform sometime.
JERRY: Well he should've thought of that before he decided to get stingy with the chequebook.
MAN: Well he's willing to double his first offer if you show up on Friday night.
JERRY: Double?
MAN: Double...
*pause*
JERRY: No! Sorry I'm not interested!
MAN: Well if you change your mind, give us a call
*Man leaves*
ELAINE: People do have business meetings you know.
JERRY: Oh, please that's older than "Excuse me I think I left something on at home"
ELAINE: You're crazy
GEORGE: Take it from me, your boyfriend is playing you like a Gameboy.