JohnPeacekeeper: Truly, you honor and praise this one too much. XD
Blue Bragon: Thank you. To be honest, however, I'm not exactly sure just how much I should deviate. Making a parody deviate too far is risky business.
"Hmph. Hand me that page over there."
"Got it."
The Writer of Questionable Stories flipped through another pile of papers as he typed in several more lines.
"...Jesus H. Christ, this is getting worse by the second. First the main hero and heroine get their roles mixed up, then that Crimson Denizen 'Hunter' and Rinne as well... The only thing that doesn't seem to be absolutely distorted is the city itself!"
"Uh, don't stop now, but I think I just found another one."
The Writer of Questionable Stories looked up at the ceiling.
"...God in heaven, you know I'm a sinner... BUT MUST YOU PUNISH ME IN THIS FASHION!?"
SHAKUGAN NO YUJI?
Chapter 834: The Abused Flame Haze
I'd really thought that my time was just about up, and that I'd somehow seen everything. Seen everything about that annoying Flame Haze Yuji, about the Crimson Realm, and about the threat in front of us. I'd resigned myself to disappearance.
I guess it was then that Heaven, with its sick sense of humor, decided to simply complicate everything.
"...Alastor, just what was that? Is it honestly possible for one's Power of Existence to simply replenish itself out of nowhere?"
"It's unlikely, but it IS possible. But it would mean that..."
"She holds... THAT?!"
Alastor murmured in agreement.
"Indeed. Most likely, it would be the Midnight Lost Child... the 'Reiji Maigo'. One of the greatest and most sought-after Treasures of the Crimson Realm."
Yuji smiled. Alastor lifted the metaphorical eyebrow.
"Hmm? You suddenly seem to be a lot more cheerful."
"This... I know this just might make everything more complicated, but at the same time... I can't help but feel some hope for Shana now. Shouldn't we tell her?"
"Not for now. We don't know for sure yet whether it really is the Midnight Lost Child. Rashly telling her without really making sure of it would only be a cruelty should the opposite turn out to be true. And if it really IS the Midnight Lost Child... all the more reason why we must never let Huntress Marianne get her hands on it."
Yuji reluctantly nodded.
"All right. We'll remain quiet about it... for now."
Yuji suddenly blinked as he felt something wet patter onto his sleeves.
"Eh?"
"Mmm. It's raining."
"Yeah. I just hope Shana got inside in time."
Alastor was quiet for a moment, then spoke.
"...In some ways, you haven't changed a bit ever since you left home. Always putting others before yourself, always thinking about others instead of yourself."
"Really?"
Abruptly there was a tug on Yuji's sleeve. Spinning around, Yuji found himself staring at Shana, still dressed in her pajamas and standing under an umbrella.
"H-hey... don't you have somewhere to go? It's raining."
Yuji blinked in some confusion.
"Y-yes, it is raining, but it doesn't bother me. But why are you out here? You should be inside."
Shana fidgeted with the handle of the umbrella.
"You... I just thought that maybe you should come inside right now. Besides, you're already stalking me most of the time, so it wouldn't be much more trouble."
Yuji smiled quietly.
"All right. Lead the way then."
Yuji rapidly looked about Shana's room, his eyes seeming to take in everything in just about every direction all at once.
"Ehhh... so this is a girl's room."
Shana turned red.
"Idiot! D-don't stare so much! Anyways... you'll sleep on the floor. Wilhelmina is asleep at the moment, so you should be fine as long as you don't make too much noise."
Yuji promptly plopped himself down on the carpet with little ceremony.
"Understood. Now then..."
Yuji began to undress himself, starting with unbuttoning and pulling off his gakuran. Shana's blushing immediately went up by several more notches as she frantically gesticulated with waving arms.
"H-hey! What are you doing!?"
Yuji blinked up at Shana.
"Changing."
Shana's entire room shook with several violent thumpings.
"C-clueless idiot! Are you now a flasher as well as a stalker!!? Go change somewhere where I can't see you...!!"
After a small round of beatings from the flat of Shana's blade, Yuji finally settled upon changing inside her walk-in closet. Shana stood outside the closet with her arms crossed and her katana at the ready. Her right eyebrow still twitched with some lingering vexation.
"...And don't come out until you're done changing! Understand!?"
"All right, all right..."
Shana sighed in frustration.
"Seriously, I just let you in because I wanted you to get out of the rain, and this is what happens?! Maybe I should've just let you stay outside."
Yuji's voice came back muffled through the closet door.
"It wouldn't have been any hassle for me if you'd done so. Flame Hazes aren't affected by the weather, and if I'd gotten dirty, Alastor could just clean me with his Flame of Purification. That includes my clothes, which is why I rarely need to change them."
Shana blinked.
"Eh...? That's handy, I guess... But I would still prefer a bath."
"..."
"What? Why are you getting all quiet all of a sudden?"
Shana abruptly blushed again.
"Wait! Don't tell me you're actually picturing me taking a bath...!!"
"Uhhhh..."
Shana, crimson-faced, furiously lashed at the closet door with the flat of her katana.
"PERVERT! IDIOT! STALKER...!!"
"H-hey, don't rock the door so much! If you hit the door like that..."
Stumbling around inside the cramped confines of the closet space, Yuji's foot accidentally landed upon a very bristly hairbrush that had been left on the floor.
"OUCH!"
Shana's eyes widened in shock as the closet door abruptly exploded open and a half-dressed form tumbled out. Shana looked down at Yuji. He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.
Black... black and white in a plaid pattern...
Yuji was red in the face. So was Shana.
THWUMP! THWUMP! THWUMP!
The entire apartment complex shook as though an earthquake had struck.
Wilhelmina opened the door, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she looked into Shana's bedroom.
"Truly, is something amiss? I heard a great noise."
Shana was sitting in the middle of the floor, holding her katana.
"Ah! N-no, nothing's amiss, Wilhelmina. Just doing some maintenance on my Nietono no Shana."
"Truly, are you sure? Your face appears to be red. Truly, do you perhaps have a fever?"
Shana vehemently shook her head.
"N-no! Nothing like that. I'm fine."
"Truly, is that so? Very well, then. Hurry and sleep, for you have school tomorrow."
Shana vigorously nodded.
"Understood! Good night, Wilhelmina!"
Stifling a yawn, Wilhelmina shut the door and left. Shana sighed in relief, then threw a glance at the nearby bedroom window. It had been left ajar.
"...Perverted idiot...!!"
"Ouch... for a little girl, she hits HARD..."
Yuji winced as he nursed a blackened right eye. Being clothed in nothing but his boxers, the Flame Haze had to resort to his nightcape in order to retain some measure of self-modesty. The rest of his clothes had been hastily left behind in his headlong flight from an enraged Shana.
Alastor's voice seemed to hold a hint of amusement as he spoke.
"Quite surprising."
Yuji sighed.
"Maybe I should have just turned down her offer from the start. Are all girls like that?"
Alastor's voice seemed to shrug of its own accord.
"I wouldn't know."
Letting his breath out in an exasperated puff, Yuji leaned back and looked up at the rainclouds. Alastor's voice gently broke the silence.
"You really should head inside and get a proper night's rest. I'm sure her anger's abated by now, so I don't think it would hurt to go back."
Yuji had a mournful look on his face.
"You think so? I can't help but think that she can't stand me sometimes-"
Yuji's eyes suddenly widened as a fiercely antagonistic sensation flowed through his body. Getting to his feet, the Flame Haze frowned in concern.
"Alastor... did you feel that?"
"Mmm. A new arrival. Another Flame Haze, by the looks of things. Most likely though, the interloper will leave once they realize that we're here."
Yuji sat back down as he relaxed his alarm. His eyes slowly closed.
"...I hope so..."
PAN PAN PAN PAAAAAAAN~
Shana's alarm clock, shaped like a bun of melon bread, sounded off noisily and broke the silence of the tranquil morning. Groggily reaching over with one hand, Shana groaned and slammed the alarm clock off. She then snuggled back into her bed.
"Mmmm... my bed's really nice and warm this morning..."
Squinting with one opened eye, Shana noticed a rather familiar face just inches away from her own.
"Mmm, oh, it's just you Yuji... Huh? WAIT A MINUTE...!!"
Shana then pulled an absolutely perfect double take. Fully awake in an instant with wide eyes, the young female Mystes quickly yanked back the cover.
Once again, the apartment complex shook as though being visited by a seismic tremor.
THWUMP! THWUMP! THWUMP!
"YOU PERVERT STALKER...!!"
"Ah, Shana... Wait up! Listen, I apologize if I gave you a scare..."
Yuji frantically chased after Shana, who was doing her level best to avoid him by running to school at top speed. The hapless young Flame Haze was now sporting two black eyes.
"Idiot! What sort of a guy are you, crawling into a girl's bed like that!?"
Alastor's voice quickly broke in.
"In all fairness, it must be mentioned that he wasn't really awake when he came into your room last night."
"And just why were you back in my room!?"
Yuji sheepishly scratched at his face with a finger as he gave reply.
"Erm... I left my clothing behind when I was fleeing from the beating you were giving me, remember?"
Shana turned red.
"...Oh. But then why were you in my bed!?"
Alastor spoke up in a matter-of-fact tone.
"He was half-asleep when I finally managed to convince him to come back downstairs to your apartment in order to retrieve his clothing. If anything, he simply didn't see you in the bed. In his drowsy state, he just saw it as a place to sleep."
Shana scowled.
"Fine... I'll let it go this time. Just don't ever let it happen again, or..."
As if to emphasize her point, the keen edge of Shana's razor-sharp katana shimmered. Yuji gulped.
"U-understood..."
"All right, give me another one."
Margery Daw, who happened to be passing by, stared out at the class of students busily engaged in running laps around the school track. She frowned for a moment before turning to Sydonay, the P.E. teacher.
"Hey... is this really all right?"
Sydonay grinned as he puffed on his cigarette and leaned back against the bleachers.
"It's a P.E. class, isn't it? Health makes wealth, ya know."
"Strange choice of words coming from a man who bums around on the bleachers and smokes a cancer stick the whole time. Some P.E. teacher you make. And why isn't Prayer Girl running laps like everyone else?"
The Misaki High English teacher pointed over to Hecate, who was sitting at the very top of the bleachers. As usual, she was locked in an attitude of intense prayer.
Sydonay lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing. Margery sighed in exasperation.
"You know, I know that this isn't really any of my business, but this sort of half-assed partiality isn't going to really benefit her. Also, aren't you being a little rougher than usual on all your students, making them do a pointless exercise like this?"
Sydonay frowned, but said nothing. Margery, realizing that she'd come close to hitting a nerve, gave a grin of her own.
"...Hmph. Don't tell me that you're feeling irritated because a boy was getting too close to your favorite little Prayer Girl."
Sydonay's frown tightened into a dark scowl. Margery's grin grew wider, but now refrained from saying anything more. After a long moment, Sydonay finally brought up his whistle and blew on it.
"All right, that's enough for now, everyone."
Immediately, everyone in the class, excluding Shana and Yuji, slumped to their feet, gasping for breath. Shana looked up at the Flame Haze with not a little surprise.
"...You've got more stamina than I thought."
Yuji simply gave off an embarrassed smile.
"Erm... comes with the job."
Sydonay turned to Hecate, who was still sitting at the top of the bleachers.
"We're done for today, Hecate. You can come down now."
Hecate, her monastic reverie broken, turned to Sydonay and nodded. Getting to her feet, the girl began to descend the bleachers when her foot suddenly caught on one of the benches. Hecate tripped and began to fall in wide-eyed shock. Sydonay yelled in alarm, even as he instinctively began to dash up the steps.
"...HECATE!"
Yuji, hearing the P.E. teacher's shout and seeing the reason for his dismay, quickly raised a hand.
"SEAL!"
The air flashed red, and time froze. Hecate halted in mid-fall. Before Shana could blink, Yuji dashed off towards the bleachers. A moment later, the seal disengaged, the flow of time resumed, and Hecate fell... into Yuji's waiting arms. The Flame Haze smiled and looked down at Hecate.
Hecate blushed.
Sydonay blinked in dumbfounded surprise.
"...EH?! How... how did you get over here so quickly!? You were standing halfway across the field...!"
Margery grinned and turned to leave.
"Now, now, Mr. P.E. Teacher, that's not the problem here. Shouldn't you instead be thanking that fine young gentleman for saving your favorite student?"
Sydonay grumbled, but gave Yuji a grudging nod.
"...Thanks, kid."
Yuji just smiled as he set Hecate back onto her feet.
"You're welcome."
Back on the other side of the school field, the rest of the class was abuzz with glee and admiration at Yuji's inconceivable save.
"...Wow, Hirai's so cool!"
"How did he move so fast!?"
Shana, however said nothing. Instead, she had a distinctly irritated expression on her face as she watched Hecate blush and stare at Yuji.
"...Idiot."
Alastor's voice was slightly chiding as he spoke to Yuji on the school rooftop.
"I think you were being a little reckless, using a seal for something like that."
Yuji just smiled it off.
"But as long as we help people, isn't it fine?"
"Helping people is all right, but that's not the true purpose of a Flame Haze. Don't forget that our real reason for being here is to maintain the balance between the two worlds."
Yuji nodded.
"Understood, understood. In any case, we should-"
Yuji suddenly paused as he felt a presence behind him. Alastor gave first word.
"...So, you didn't leave."
Slowly turning around, Yuji found himself staring at a young teenager who physically appeared to possess approximately the same age as his own. Light brown hair and sharp, handsome features defined his looks. The young man was dressed in a dark brown trenchcoat and had a gigantic, heavily-bound tome slung on a strap over his shoulder.
The new arrival grinned.
"I'd felt the presence of another Flame Haze when we first came here, but I'd no idea it was actually the Flaming-Haired Burning-Eyed Hunter himself. Talk about your wild coincidences, eh, Marcosius?"
The book at his side laughed wildly.
"Hahahaw! Quite so, my raging bundle of hormones, Keisaku Satou!"
Alastor gave reply in a grim tone.
"So, it's you... Claw and Fangs of Violation, Marcosius, and Chanter of Elegies, Keisaku Satou!"
Yuji blinked.
"You know these two?"
"Mmm. Among all of the Flame Hazes, these two are known for being the most bloodthirsty. They pursue Denizens and hunt them down beyond the scale of simple duty."
Marcosius laughed again.
"Hah! I can't help but blush at the compliment!"
Yuji blinked.
"So... why are you here?"
Keisaku grinned.
"Simple. We're currently after a certain Denizen that fled to this city... but I want to make sure we won't encounter any obstacles while we're doing so. So... I'm just removing any potential obstacles."
Yuji's eyes widened.
"Wait, you don't mean..."
The air turned crimson as the entire area was placed under a seal. Keisaku's grin turned vicious as he snapped open the gigantic tome.
"Sorry about this, kid, but we just want to make sure you don't get in the way of our hunting season. Don't worry, we won't kill you... but we are going to make sure that you don't get in the way!"
Yuji desperately flung up his arms as his eyes and hair came ablaze.
"W-wait! Not here! Classes are still in session! Someone might-"
A massive explosion of purple fire erupted from the rooftop, cutting off Yuji's words.
"Well, that's quite the displaced scenario."
The Writer of Questionable Stories sighed.
"Quite. Now all we need to do is just properly re-arrange this sad, sorry mess. Jesus H. Christ, this one's going to be a bitch to correct."
"...You're not thinking of killing Yuji off, are you?"
The Writer of Questionable Stories glared.
"You really think I'm that stupid? You're making me feel ashamed to know you."
"Thanks."
To Be Continued...?