Summary: Logan and Duncan overhear Veronica telling Lilly about her cancer, her paternity and that Abel Kunz did not kill Lilly when they visit Lilly's grave. Logan upset at what he has heard tells his mother about Veronica's cancer. Lynn Echolls learns Veronica is dying. Logan ends up at the hospital and sees Veronica's heart rate slow. He rushed into the room begging her to stay and not go to Lilly. He tells a shocked Keith, Lynn and the nurse that Veronica is going to stay. Back to the story......
It turns out that Logan was right. Veronica responded to the new chemotherapy and she began to get better. She woke the next afternoon for a brief period feeling very weak but with less pain in her head. She stayed in the hospital another week and then was allowed to go home.
Jake Kane once it was clear Veronica was going to survive, had talked to Keith and they had a paternity test done on Veronica while she was in the hospital. When the results came back, Keith felt like his life could not get better. Veronica was responding to the chemotherapy and she was his biological daughter.
Duncan was devastated. When he talked to Logan, he cried. He talked about how he had believed Celeste and he had wasted the last year of his life being away from Veronica. He told Logan how Mr. Mars had barred him from visiting Veronica in the hospital and how he had waited until she alone to see her. Duncan tells Logan that Veronica was not happy to see him. He had told her that he had never stopped loving her and he wanted her back now he knew they were not related. Veronica had been surprised but had not been receptive to Duncan's plea. She told him that she no longer loved him. Duncan could see she was angry with him. She told him he had forced her to get over him and she had. Duncan put his head in his hands when he told Logan that Veronica told him he had stood back and let her be ridiculed and hurt by their classmates and she didn't understand how he let it happen if he thought she was his sister. Duncan told Logan he had tried to explain about how his mother had told him not to tell anyone and how he was so upset over her and Lilly that he had needed the antidepressants.
Logan seeing the pain his friend was feeling had been torn. It was obvious that DK still loved Veronica and now there was really nothing keeping them apart but Logan could see Veronica's point. Duncan had let him and the other 09ers basically torture Veronica when he could have defended her even if he didn't tell anyone she might be his sister. Logan doesn't know what to think about how Duncan had stood back saying nothing or how he had walked away when he saw how she was being treated. Logan could not imagine letting anyone hurt Trina and he is not really close with her. Duncan says he loves Veronica. Logan knows that Duncan had felt that Veronica was 'the one'. He had been planning a future with the petit blonde; a futre including a white wedding, a big house, white picket fence and the requisite boy and girl Kane child. Logan refocuses on Duncan when he lifts his head out of his hands and tells Logan that he had basically begged Veronica to give them another chance and she had sighed and looked at her hands. She had been quiet a few seconds and then had lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. She had firmly told him that he had shown her his true colors and she didn't want him that way anymore. She had asked him to please leave and had pressed the nurse call light. Logan had not known what to say to comfort his friend.
In truth, Logan had his own problems. Mr. Mars had thanked him for helping with Veronica but had told him that he was not going to be allowed to visit Veronica. He had quietly warned Logan that he better not discover him anywhere near Veronica. Logan's mother had made Logan go home. He had been upset but had gone home. The next day he had gone back to school. While sitting at lunch, he half listened to the talk about how Veronica was dying. Sean, Luke and Dick were all laughing that it was good that all the 09er guys got their chance at her before she died.
Casey had asked what they meant and they told him that after the body shots at Shelley's party last year, Dick had put a passed out Veronica in the pool house and a bunch of guys had gone in and been with her. They all laughed and said it didn't matter because she was such a slut anyways.
Logan's heart had stopped and the pain in his gut had been sharp. The bell had rung signaling the end of lunch and the guys had left. Logan had gone to his car and left the school in a daze. He had sat on the beach and watched the waves for hours. He remembered that night. He had been angry she had shown up at Shelly's party. Veronica had been wearing that virginal white dress with the black choker collar. When she had passed out drunk, he had organized the guys to humiliate her. He had stood laughing while the guys had done body shots on her. Duncan had come by and rescued her. Logan remembered being mad and giving Duncan a drink laced with GHB. He had obviously left her alone after. Logan remembers he left the party with a freshman after giving Duncan the drink.
Logan was sickened at what Veronica had gone through. He had make it OK, fun even, to hurt her. He realized that after Shelley's party Veronica had cut her hair and got her kick ass attitude. She wasn't going to be a victim anymore. Logan began to think about what she must have felt waking up after that night. He thinks of all the horrible things said about her the following week at school. He feels pain in his chest that she probably thinks he is one of the guys who raped her especially after the things he said to her. He spread rumors about her around the school when she had been raped repeatedly. God what if she was injured? What if she got an STD? What if she had gotten pregnant? He knew her. She was probably a virgin. She probably wasn't on birth control. Logan was sickened at what he had become. He was a monster! Logan had gone home and had opened a bottle of vodka. He had ignored his cell phone sitting alone in the pool house in the dark until finally he had passed out.
When Logan returned to the school the next day, the other students could see that Logan was seething. He wasn't talking or giving any verbal directions but his non verbal signals to leave him the hell alone were clear. They all obeyed. Logan's mood continued for the next few days. He was obvious deeply angry and upset. None of them knew why. The rumor was that he was upset about Veronica's illness.
Logan finally not knowing where else to turn, had gone to his mother and talked to her, really talked to her. He told her that he had become a monster and he didn't know what to do. He told her that he didn't physically abuse like his dad but he did emotionally abuse. He broke down and cried in her arms. Luckily Aaron was out of town so Lynn was able to help Logan. She took him to a psychiatrist and pulled him out of school for a few weeks. She hired him a private tutor to keep him up in school. The rumor around the school was Logan was on location with his parents. Other rumors had him in drug rehab or jail.
He had daily meetings with the psychiatrist and he opened up to him totally. He told him about Aaron and his childhood and about Lilly and then about what he had become since Lilly died. It had been painful to open up and talk about all his issues but he did not want to continue on as he had. The psychiatrist had agreed to keep the sessons a secret from everyone including Aaron. Slowly the deep pain inside Logan began to ease slightly as he talked out his feelings and pain.
Logan went back to school three weeks later much calmer and quieter. He was no longer the school's obligatory jackass. He didn't speak up in class and although he hung out with the 09ers, he did not participate in the gossip mill and he did not talk down to any of the other students in the school. He and Duncan hung around together and supported each other. Logan told Duncan that he was upset at what he had become and he was seeing a psychiatrist. He also told Duncan that he had seen Lilly come for Veronica. Duncan had been surprised but had not doubted that Lilly would be there for Veronica. Duncan knowing about Aaron's abuse had been glad that Logan was getting the help he needed. The rest of the students in the school began to notice that Logan was no longer mistreating them. He still stayed with the 09ers but he didn't participate in any mistreatment of others and he stopped it if he was there to see it. He continued to see his psychiatrist after school. His psychiatrist talked about the fact Logan didn't have any goals for the future. Logan realized that he didn't care about the future. He was only counting the days until he could get away from Aaron. They discussed his feelings and it was decided that Logan would go and see the school counselor. Maybe Mrs. James could help him decide what to do with his future.
Logan made no attempt to see Veronica. He respected Mr. Mar's wishes. He realized that if he were her father he would keep him and Duncan away from her too. He talked to his psychiatrist about ways he could make things up to Veronica and his psychiatrist said that eventually he would have to apologize to her in person; perhaps once she was better. Logan sent her a large bouquet of flowers and just put, "Get Better soon." on the card. He had Luigi's sent to her place once a week as a standing order. He didn't say who sent them. She's Veronica Mars. She'll find out.
Logan and Duncan discussed how to get her medical bills paid and her college paid. They knew Mr. Mars would be too proud to take the money. Lynn had stepped in and made arrangements to anonymously pay the bill so Keith couldn't find out. That decided, Logan and Duncan turned their attention to college scholarships. They had no idea about scholarships. Duncan didn't need one and Logan wasn't planning on applying. They went to Veronica's friend Mac and asked her advice. She was shocked to have the two top 09er boys approach her. She was even more shocked when she heard their request. She said she would look into it and get back to them. They gave her their cell phone numbers and left the room.
December came and Logan's dad was stabbed by a waitress at the annual Echoll's Xmas party. Logan sat in the hospital waiting room outside his father's room feeling numb. His mother was in with his father. He put his head in his hands and wondered what kind of person it made him that he wished his father had been killed. He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and turned to look thinking it was his mother. His breath caught in his chest and his eyes widened when he saw it was Veronica. He just stared at her in shock. She said quietly, "Logan, how are you doing?" When he continued to stare at her in shock she said, "How is your dad?"
Logan looked at her closely. She had gained some weight and had more color in her face. He said, "Ronnie, you look better. How are you feeling? Are you still doing well with the new chemo? Are you here to see my Mom? Where is your dad? When are you coming back to school?"
It was Veronica's turn to look shocked. Finally she says, "Whoa there Logan; one question at a time."
Logan said, "Sorry. It's just I haven't seen you in so long and I was worried. I can't really get any news from your friends or your dad."
Veronica looked at Logan seeing his sincerity. She said slowly, "I am getting better Logan. I am in remission."
Logan says "That's good right? Does that mean the cancer is gone?"
Veronica says, "No. It means that it is not active right now. I will have to be watched for five years but if I stay in remission for the whole five years, I will be cured."
Logan asks, "So no more chemotherapy treatments?"
Veronica smiles and says, "I'm done them for now."
Logan smiles and says, "That's great."
They smile at each other for a second. Logan says, "When are you coming back to school?"
Veronica says, "After the new year if my doctors ok it."
Logan says, "Good. That's good Ronnie."
Veronica looks towards his dad's room and says, "Logan how is your dad?"
Logan tells her that the knife didn't hit any vital organs so he is going to be fine. He tells her that his mother is in with him now. She nods and says, "How are you?"
Logan looks at the room and then back at her. He says, "I really don't know Ronnie. I have a lot of feelings right now. A lot of them aren't good."
Veronica's mouth opens a little in shock. Logan is identifying his feelings and thinking about them. The rumors that he is more calm and nicer seem to be true.
Logan is looking down at his hands and misses Veronica's surprise. He continues, "I'm really angry with him. He constantly fools around on Mom and makes her feel badly about herself."
He pauses and looks at the floor. He says, "I wish mom would leave him."
He looks up at Veronica again and she can see the pain in his eyes. He says, "I am afraid I am going to turn out like him."
Veronica is speechless. This is a side of Logan she has never really seen. The door to Aaron's room opens and Lynn Echolls comes out looking tired and worried. She sees Logan talking to Veronica and smiles. Veronica gets up and goes over to her and hugs her. Logan seeing Veronica supporting his mother smiles a little in gratitude. He says, "I'll leave you two alone." He gets up and heads down the hall. His mother's voice stops him. She says, "He wants to see you."
Logan stops and remains standing with his back to his mother. There is an awkward pause and Logan says quietly, "I don't know if I can Mom." He pauses and then says quietly, "I'll be back for the press conference." He walks off and depresses the button for the elevator.
When the elevator doors open, Keith Mars walks off. Logan steps aside for him respectfully saying, "Mr. Mars, " and then he gets on the elevator and presses a button looking down as the elevator doors close. Keith looks thoughtfully at the closed elevator and then walks down the hall towards his daughter and Lynn Echolls.
An hour later, Keith and Veronica watch Lynn and Logan Echolls talk to the press. Logan had arrived back about a half hour after he left. He was quiet and sat beside his mother while they were briefed on what would be expected of them at the press conference. He took his mother's arm and escorted her to the press conference area and inconspicuously put a hand on her lower back to support her during the press conference. He did not answer any questions himself and kept his face impassive throughout the whole ordeal. Keith Mars is a man not easily impressed and he had to admit that Logan's attitude, behavior and thoughtfulness towards his mother, did impress him. Veronica was also impressed but in a different way than her father. She could see the anger and pain seething below the surface in Logan. She could see that he had a tight control over it.
Wallace, Weevil, Mac and Meg had all visited Veronica while she recovered at home. They told her about Logan disappearing for three weeks and then coming back almost a different person. None of them believed it would last but slowly they were coming around to the idea that he had genuinely changed. He was still an 09er but he was a tolerable one. Even Weevil had grudgingly given Logan his due. Wallace told Veronica about how Logan and Duncan were both quiet but unlike Duncan, Logan didn't stand on the sidelines when he saw something wrong, he stepped in. Logan had made the football players quit picking on some girl named Mandy who was putting up lost dog posters. When the football players had challenged Logan, he had stepped right up to the leader and said, "I don't think you want to take me on right now." Logan had stepped back and walked back over to Duncan and they had walked on down the hall together.
Wallace told Veronica that Logan was getting good grades and that he had signed up for the career testing program offered at the school. When his results had come in, he had made an appointment with Mrs. James to discuss them. Meg had caught Veronica up to date on all the gossip. Logan was apparently not causing any trouble in class and wasn't dating anyone. Wallace had his own thoughts on why Logan wasn't dating but he kept them to himself. Wallace knew that the flowers and food being delivered were from Logan. Logan never approached him again about Veronica but Mac had told Wallace about Duncan and Logan wanting to find out how they could help Veronica get a scholarship for college. She had made him promise not to tell anyone else and especially not Veronica as Logan and Duncan wanted to set it up anonymously. Wallace had been surprised but not shocked. He had seen something in Logan's eyes the day he asked about Veronica; something unexpected.
Logan had taken the teasing at school about his father quietly. He had stayed with Duncan and without comment pulled the clippings off his locker and got his books. Without any reaction from Logan, the teasing had mercifully been limited. Logan realized that he should have let the teasing Veronica had to take for siding with her father and Duncan breaking up with her die a natural death instead of torturing her.
Mac had indeed found out how Duncan and Logan could help Veronica get a scholarship for college. It turned out to be deceptively easy and non traceable. Logan and Duncan had smiled when she told them. They had thanked her and asked her if they could pay her to set it up for them as a work program for this summer and next year as a college scholarship. Mac had smiled and said it would be her pleasure.
Logan had approached Mac with a small wrapped parcel just before Christmas. He had asked her to please slip it in under Veronica's Christmas tree when she wasn't looking. Mac had agreed and Logan had nodded his thanks and walked off. Mac saw the look that Wallace had seen. She bit her lip thoughtfully and said softly, "Who knew?" She tucked the present in her bag and walked off.
Christmas morning Veronica and her dad opened their gifts and found a small wrapped gift under the tree. Veronica opened it and was pleased and surprised to find a four leaf clover locket. Each petal had a letter engraved on it. Keith had commented about what the letters L,L,V, and D spelt but had understood when Veronica opened the locket. There was a small picture of Lilly, Logan, Veronica and Duncan; one in each petal of the clover. There was no name on the parcel but Veronica immediately knew whom it was from. Keith watched Veronica's face as she opened the gift and had seen her emotions as she put the necklace on.
Veronica called the Echolls' mansion to talk to Logan but had been unable to thank him because he was in Aspen over Christmas and New Years. She would have to talk to him when he got back to Neptune.
Thanks to all of you who have reviewed. I welcome the feedback. I want to become a better writer and your opinions can help me with that goal.