Title: Glass Hearts
Rating: PG-13
Summary (of Chapter): James and Lily have a fight (what's new?) and a few interesting conversations. It's Lily's birthday, so, of course, the Gryffindors throw her a party in the common room.
--
In the library, James strode over to Lily's table and slid into the seat next to her. "What do you want?" Lily asked, looking up at James. He was wearing his Quidditch robes and a smirk Lily wanted to slap off of his face.
"I noticed that you're still going out with Brendell," James said breezily.
"That's right," Lily said. "And you have no chance up against him."
"That's what I thought you would say," James replied. He leaned closer to Lily. Against her will, she smelled him. He smelled like cologne and sweat and the wood of broomsticks. "But, this weekend is Valentine's Day and there's a Hogsmeade trip –"
"Are you mad, Potter?" Lily snapped, slamming her book shut. She started gathering her books up. "I'm going with Paul, of course, he's my boyfriend. You know, I actually thought you might have some real feeling in you, but after all of this, you just went back to your normal, arrogant self, you self-centered –"
"Well, what did you expect, for me to mope around forever?" James asked incredulously.
"I told you I'm not interested," Lily said. "What don't you understand about that? I don't like you, Potter. I thought we could have been friends, but you're an ass. I don't know why I ever thought otherwise." She stuffed her books viciously into her book bag and stood up. She glared down at James. "The only reason you like me is because I'm the only thing in your perfect life that you can't have."
James caught up with her by the library door. "Wait," he said. "That's not true!"
Madam Pince shooed them out of the peace of the library, glaring at them. Lily lost no time once they were in the corridor. "People worship you," she snapped. "I'm the unattainable goal and you'll just keep trying, won't you?"
"You don't even know me!" James shot back.
"Your parents pamper you," she exclaimed. "You've never had a problem in the world-"
"Oh, I'm the one with the perfect life?" James asked. "Right, because you've lost all your aunts and uncles to the war. And I forgot being top of your class was so hard, and having Snape kissing your feet was so horrible."
"What does he have to do with anything?" Lily said shrilly. Of course he had to bring Severus into this; it was just like him.
"I can only imagine how terrible it would be to have him following you around at your every beck and call," James said.
"For your information, we're not friends anymore," Lily said, imagining how liberating it would be to wring his neck. "I'm sure it makes you extremely happy to see that one of my friendships has been ruined. And it shows how much you know about me, Potter, since we haven't spoken a word since the end of fifth year."
James looked surprised for a moment. Lily reveled in the pleasure of shutting him up, even if it was only for a minute.
He threw his hands up. "I don't care about you and Snivellus -"
Lily scoffed. "Right," she said.
"What is that supposed to mean?" James asked.
"You mean I'm supposed to believe that you're tortured him for the last three years just because?"
James rolled his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself," he said.
Lily crossed her arms. She wasn't born yesterday. She knew she might not have been the root of their problems - James had only started to like her in fifth year - but she had made it all the worse. "Good thing I'm more intelligent than you think," she said.
"Why were your friends with him for so long, anyway?" James asked.
"That's none of your business!" Lily snapped. "How did we even - just a minute ago, we weren't talking about me. We were talking about you and your pathetic existence-"
"You know what," James said, "so what if I've had a pretty good life? It has nothing to do with liking you!"
"Then why?" Lily said. "Why do you like me so much?"
There was a moment of silence as James stared at her, looking like a deer in headlights, although he would never understand the phrase. "Here's your big chance," she said.
"You can't just. . ." James trailed off.
Lily waited for one more moment, even though she knew she shouldn't have. What should she care? She was going out with Paul, and he made her happy, and he was nice to her, and he wasn't an arrogant pighead. But there was still a small part of her that was drawn to Potter, and maybe if she knew more, if she was sure he was genuine, maybe that part of her wouldn't be so small anymore, maybe, just maybe. . .
She snapped out of it, shaking her head. "Good one, Potter," she said. Then she turned and walked away.
--
It was almost curfew on Tuesday night. Lily was doing prefects rounds, and Mary, Marlene and Candace were walking around, having people sign a gigantic banner that said Happy Birthday, Lily! in dark red letters. There were lilies, sparkles and lions decorating the banners and a litter of signatures. Sirius watched them move away from the seventh year Gryffindors over to the four of them.
James was finishing a Charms essay due tomorrow, and Peter was attempting to help. Sirius and Remus were playing chess, but Sirius was hardly paying attention.
"All right, you lot," Mary said, unrolling the banner out. "We need you to sign this. Lily's turning seventeen tomorrow."
"And be nice," Marlene told Sirius, handing him a quill and ink bottle.
"Do I have to sign it?" James asked, looking at the banner like one would look at a poisonous bug.
"Why would ask such a stupid question?" Mary said, rolling her eyes. "Of course you have to sign it, you prat!"
"All right," Candace said. "There's purple ink, red, orange, pink, green, blue and black. Be careful, because they're mine."
"Why on earth would you have so many ink colors?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.
"For birthday banners," Candace said shortly. Peter looked over the various colors of ink, tapping his fingers. Sirius dipped the end of his quill in black ink and signed the banner by Paul Brendell's note so that James wouldn't have to look at it. Happy Birthday, Evans. Welcome to the "of age club." –Sirius Black.
James stared at the clear spot ahead of him. What to write, what to write . . . maybe just Happy Birthday. –James Potter. Or maybe a note? Exhaling a breath, he wrote, To a deep, different girl. Happy 17th, Lily. –James Potter.
Remus wrote in blue ink, Happy 17th Birthday, Lily! I hope it's amazing – have a wonderful year. Until next birthday, Remus Lupin. Peter fussed over what to write for a moment, then just wrote, Evans, have a nice birthday. Happy year! –Peter Pettigrew.
"Took you long enough," Marlene said, waving her wand to dry off the ink.
"They're all writing her love letters," Mary said, waving her wand over the ink.
"Mine's so short," Sirius said. He shrugged. "Shows just how much I feel for her."
The girls started to roll the banner up, but a few fourth year girls scampered over. "Ooh, is this Lily Evans?" one of them asked her. "I do like her." She took the quill and inks from Candace and the girls fussed over color coding and decorations.
"Tomorrow evening, after dinner, we're having a little. . .party," Candace said. "Though it won't be like the last birthday party we had in here."
"No sexual harassing for you, James," Mary said, grinning at James.
"Oh, shut up," James said, his nose dug into his Charms book. "Wait – after dinner? I suppose I'll have to cancel Quidditch practice . . . does anyone know where I can find the history of this ruddy Charm? Stupid Fidelus –"
"Fidelius," Peter corrected him. James glared at him.
"Didn't someone famous use it in the time of Grindelwald?" Marlene asked.
"Maybe the fifth year should write the essay for you," Sirius said to James.
"Shove off, you're the reason I'm doing this late!" James exclaimed.
"Oh, shut up!" Sirius said. "You were too busy moping over Evans."
James had picked up an ink bottle, but at that moment the portrait hole swung open and Lily walked in. "Oh, hell, what is she doing back here so early?" Candace said.
Marlene looked at her watch. "It's eleven," she said. She looked at Mary. "If you hadn't been so busy talking to Frank–"
"Oh, you little–" Mary began.
"I'll distract her," James said, standing up. He jogged over to Lily, stopping her before she could spot the girls and walk over to them. "Hey, Evans."
Lily looked at him, raising her eyebrows. "What do you want?" she asked.
"I hear it's your birthday tomorrow," James said. "You'll be of age."
"Mmhm," Lily said, looking uninterested. "What's it to you?"
"Oh, I don't know," James said lamely.
Lily raised her eyebrows.
"I mean, I don't turn seventeen til the end of March," James said, shrugging. He paused. "I got you something."
Lily's green eyes widened for a moment, then she started to shake her head. "Oh, Potter, really," she said.
"No, no, I wanted to get you it," James said. "And don't – I mean, it's not like I was counting down on a calendar or anything, I heard Mary talking about it. Look, it's just – I mean, it's nothing, anyway. Just from one friend to another on her birthday."
Lily studied James for a moment, and looked a bit like his mother. Like she was pitying him. Like she was thinking, 'What a poor boy, chasing after me. He's so pitiful.' But none of them really understood.
"Don't look at me like that," James said.
"Like what?" Lily asked.
"Like you pity me," James said.
"I wasn't–" Lily started, annoyed.
"Yes, you were," James replied.
There were a few yells behind James and Lily glanced over James's shoulder. James moved to block her vision. Lily looked at him, her lips pursed. "Don't try to act like you're distracted so that you don't have to talk to me," James said.
"I didn't–" Lily began, looking even more annoyed.
"You don't have to pity me," James stated. "I do like you as a friend, as just a girl, you know. I just don't act like it."
"And you won't care if I don't get you a present for your birthday?" Lily asked, putting a hand on her hip.
"Well. . ." James trailed off. "It would be very hurtful."
Lily smirked. "I'm sure you'll survive," she said. She walked over to the seventh years, in the opposite direction of their friends.
James turned and walked back over to Sirius, Remus and Peter. The girls were gone. "Do you guys have to be so loud?" he asked, sitting back down.
"It was Marlene," Remus said.
"She spilled two ink bottles all over the banner," Peter said.
"And then Remus jumped in and waved his wand," Sirius said, shrugging. "So, McKinnon hugged her hero and kissed him like there was no tomorrow."
"The banner looks fine," Remus said coolly.
"Wait, did she really kiss you?" James asked.
"Of course not," Remus said. "Are you actually going to believe him–" he motioned to Sirius, "–about anything when it comes to kissing?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked, pretending to look offended. "Like I have a history of lying about kissing?"
Remus looked at Sirius pointedly. "In first year, when you told us you snogged Celestina Warbeck," he said.
"And in third year, when you said you kissed Lily Evans under the mistletoe," Peter said.
"All right, all right – but that was when I was younger," Sirius said.
"What about this summer. . ."
--
The next day, Lily was woken up by Mary, Candace and Debra, who were singing to her some absurd song for which it was much too early. They dragged her off to breakfast and Paul met her with a rose at the Gryffindor table.
"Oh, this is lovely," Lily said, smiling. "Thank you."
Her parents sent parcels in, and she opened her gifts around her friends. To her relief, Potter didn't say anything to her until they had Transfiguration and he asked her how it felt to be legal to drink. Professor McGonagall, however, quickly corrected him. "The drinking age in this country is eighteen, Mr. Potter, and I do believe you know that," she said, narrowing her eyes. "I've told you time and time again."
"Oh, yeah, I just forgot. . ." James trailed off, his ears going pink.
Melissa wished her a happy birthday, but told Lily she'd give her her present that night. The other Gryffindors didn't seem to notice too much, a few people wished her a happy birthday in the corridors, but most of them weren't in her House.
Professor Slughorn had insisted on a party, but Lily politely told him she was fine. He had even started inviting people, but McGonagall cut his plans off. "It would be much too late, anyway," McGonagall said, shaking her head while Lily gave her looks of gratefulness from behind Slughorn.
"Seventeen years," Violet Moss said haughtily as Lily passed. "We'll see how long the Mudblood will really lasts after school, when Potter isn't there to protect her . . ."
Marlene and Paul tried to hex her, but Lily dragged them off, ignoring Moss. "Ruddy Slytherins," Marlene said, righting her robes.
After dinner, she went up to the common room with Paul and Frank. "Don't you have Quidditch practice?" Lily asked Paul.
"No, Potter cancelled," Paul said, shrugging.
A group of people yelled, "Surprise!" when she entered. The common room was richly decorated for Lily's birthday. There was a gigantic banner hanging over the fireplace, music playing and streamers and ribbon everywhere.
James and Sirius were setting up the table at the side of the room, where there was butterbeer and a variety of candy's and snacks. Mary and Marlene were passing out party hats and sound makers. Remus was wearing a party hat and looking quite ridiculous. There was a second table full of presents, by which Peter was evaluating where to put his small package. So that was why no one had given her gifts yet.
Laughing, Lily walked over to Mary and Marlene. "You two are unbelievable!" she exclaimed. "I thought everyone hated me!"
"Oh, of course not!" Mary exclaimed. "Here, a noise maker!" She held out a bright pink crown. "And here's a crown for the birthday girl. I made it myself. It won't go with your hair, but it's the thought that counts – and we're not modeling for Witch Weekly, right?" She shoved it unto Lily's head and grinned at her.
"It looks great," Marlene said, laughing.
"You look great all the time," Paul said, kissing Lily on the cheek.
The common room was alive with sounds of the party. Everyone who passed through grabbed a few snacks and wished Lily a happy birthday, even people she didn't know. The food and drink seemed to be unending. "How did you get all of this?" Lily asked James, looking over all of the butterbeer bottles.
"I can't tell you, or I'd have to kill you," James said. He shrugged. "Chocolate Frog?"
Lily opened all of the presents, finding a present from even Professor McGonagall. "Oh, my lord!" she said as she found a set of underwear Mary had given her. "Mary, you could have put a warning sign on the package or something!"
Mary shrugged innocently. "I thought Paul would want to see them," she said, grinning.
"I hate you," she said, blushing furiously. She stuffed the lingerie underwear back into the box and tossed it aside. Thirty minutes later, James and Sirius had gotten into them and were running around the common room. Lily sent Paul after them and they quickly surrendered.
James draped his arm over her shoulders. "It's all fun and games, though, right?" he asked, grinning.
"Oh, get off me," Lily said, pushing him off. "You're so immature!"
"Evans, it was just a joke!" James said, laughing. "You were laughing!"
"I was not!" Lily said hotly. She stormed off to sit next to Debra. She was never talking to him again.
Halfway through the night, around nine o'clock, Sirius Black silenced the room and stood on the empty table that had been holding Lily's gifts. He was holding a butterbeer in his hand. His school tie was crooked and his shirt was half-untucked. "I'd like to make a toast," he said, "to Lily Evans – hic. She's the only red-haired Muggle-born I know . . . hic – and the smartest girl I know . . . and – hic – she's definitely got the cutest underwear around here . . ." a few people laughed, while Lily rolled her eyes. "Hic – But really – hic – she's not half-bad, no matter what the Slytherins say." He raised his butterbeer bottle in Lily's direction. "To Lily . . . Lily Evans, next year's Head Girl."
"Here here," James said, raising his own bottle, but it didn't look like butterbeer at all.
"To Lily Evans," half of the room echoed.
Sirius downed the rest of his bottle. Mary, Marlene and Paul drank to the toast. "Are you kidding me?" Lily asked the three of them.
"It was a toast," Paul said, shrugging.
"The least heartfelt toast I have ever heard," Lily said.
There was a loud crack – Lily turned to see the table Sirius was standing on breaking and suddenly he was on the ground, in a heap of metal and wood. He looked shocked for a moment, then burst out laughing. His friends and most of the other people in the room laughed a good deal.
"The look. . .on your face. . ." Remus gasped, laughing. Was even Remus drunk?
Lily rolled her eyes again. She seemed to do a lot of that around the four of them. "Ah, Sirius," Marlene said, laughing. "He is a prat, but he's pretty funny."
"Attractive, too," Mary said. She glanced over at Frank, but everyone pretended not to notice.
"Lighten up, Lily," Paul said, scooting closer to Lily. "They're just having a bit of fun."
"Can't they have a bit of fun and not be destructive?" Lily asked.
"No," Paul said. "They're boys. Even I'm destructive sometimes." He waggled his eyebrows at her, and Lily was strongly reminded of James.
Sirius stumbled over to them. "I fare thee well," he said. "Goodnight, Evans, glad you liked the party. Here's a happy birthday kiss." He planted a sloppy, slobbery kiss unto Lily's mouth. She pushed him away and wiped her mouth off as Sirius left.
Mary and Candace were rolling on the floor, laughing. Marlene stared in shock. "Did that really just happen?" Paul asked.
"Oh, disgusting!" Lily exclaimed. "I think I need to brush my teeth."
"I'm going to kill him tomorrow in practice," Paul said. "Did that. . .I mean, did he really – wasn't Potter just watching?"
"James is pissed out of his mind," Candace said, wiping tears from her face. "Well, maybe not out of his mind, but considerably past all common sense. . ."
"Isn't he always?" Mary asked.
"This has definitely been the most eventful birthday I've ever had," Lily said, still wiping her face. "God, firewhiskey tastes horrible. . ."
When she finally headed up to her dormitory, feeling guilty about putting off her homework, it was almost midnight. Yawning, she dumped all of her gifts into her trunk. She would clean it up tomorrow. . .
"Goodnight, girls," Lily said, changing into her pajamas. "Thanks for everything."
"No problem," Mary replied, collapsing in her bed with all of her clothes on.
Lily saw a small package on her pillow and paused cautiously. She picked it up and the label, as she suspected, said From: James Potter, To: Lily Evans. She had received a pack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and the label said From the Marauders, who love Lily Evans.
Now, she crawled into her bed and closed her curtains. She lit up the tip of her wand and opened the package. It was a delicate, fine silver chain with the charm of a white and blue glass heart hanging from it. On the back was engraved, You still have my heart. Lily sat with the glass heart in her hands for a moment. She shook her head, sighing. Right, from one friend to another, her left foot. . .
--
The next day, James went to breakfast thirty minutes late with his friends, his head throbbing. "Maybe we should have stopped around one," Peter mumbled, sitting down at the Gryffindor table.
"Yeah, especially after Frank threatened our lives," James said thoughtfully.
"Nah," Sirius said. "If we had stopped, Remus never would have done the Macarena naked."
Remus glared at Sirius, filling his bowl with oatmeal. "I've never seen it done with such life," Sirius said with a smirk.
"Well, it's your own fault," Remus said.
"It's the first time I've seen you really lose it," Peter said, nodding. "Usually it's James and Sirius – remember last summer and that girl you met at the Three Broomsticks – what was her name?"
"Have you told Jewel about that yet?" James asked Sirius.
"No," Sirius said. "I don't exactly have any intention to. Ever. Pass the bacon, please."
"Well, if you ever tell anyone about my naked Macarena dance, Jewel will most definitely know about Amber the Actress and your role-playing–" Remus said in a cool voice.
"Naked Macarena dance?"
The four boys looked up and Lily Evans stood behind Remus and James. Remus's ears went pink and Sirius smirked. "I obviously came in at the wrong time," she said. "I had no idea my party would have such an effect on the four of you. . .you look so tired."
"Don't ask," Peter mumbled into his breakfast.
"I wasn't planning on it," Lily said, shaking her head. She looked at James. "I need to talk to you."
"Potter! I need to talk to you!" Sirius said in a high-pitched voice.
James kicked Sirius underneath the table before standing up. "You're the one who kissed her last night," he said. He looked at Lily. "Are you sure I'm the one you want to talk to?"
"Yes," Lily said shortly. She walked out of the Great Hall. James followed, ignoring Sirius's catcalls. Lily stopped outside of the front doors. She turned to look at James, her eyes bright. She held her hand out, the necklace he had given her in her palm. "I can't accept this."
"What?" James asked. "It's a gift, Evans. That's really very rude of you."
"James," Lily said, her tone serious. She grabbed James's hand and put the necklace in his palm. She clasped his fingers over it and goose bumps spread up his arm. "I can't accept this."
"You know, you giving it back is kind of like you telling me that I have your heart," James said. One of her hands was still over his tightly, the other holding his wrist.
"I didn't walk into the store," Lily said, letting go of him, "or pay the money to get the chain or the heart or the engraving–"
"I did the engraving myself," James said. He didn't know why he said this, but it was important, somehow.
Lily looked at him, hard. "I can't accept it," she said.
"Come on, Evans, it's a bloody gift," James replied. He held the necklace out.
"No!" Lily exclaimed. "I'm dating Paul–"
"I know," James said.
"I don't like you like that–"
"I know," James said. "Just be happy I won't get you something for Valentine's Day."
"You can't keep doing this," Lily said. "You're only hurting yourself."
James just looked at her with that same, intense gaze with which she looked back at him. The two of them stood there, studying each other. He thought of his feelings for Lily Evans; the hurt, the emotional roller coaster, the jealousy from his best friend, the infatuation, the adoration, the butterflies. Then he shrugged. He waved the necklace around. "Take it," he said. "It's a gift, from me to you."
"I don't want your heart, Potter," Lily said hotly. "Bloody hell, I hate you – I can't take this."
"Take the bloody necklace, Evans," James said. He stepped forward, his arms going around her neck. He was at least five inches taller than her and he felt her tense, with his body barely touching hers. He clipped the necklace together and stepped away. Lily looked up at him, her eyes full of tears. He felt alarmed for a moment – was she going to cry? He looked at the fine silver chain, which rested on her neck, her hair up in a ponytail. "Just take it. There are no returns at the stupid store."
"I hate you, I really do," Lily said. Then she turned and walked away. Before she turned the corner, James saw her take the necklace off.
--
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming, I really like them :)
What's up next? Valentine's Day, and the Marauders have an idea to make sure this February 14th goes down in history. We also see the Shrieking Shack, itching powder, and Remus on a broomstick.