A/N: No, I don't own the Host or Twilight

Book Two : Part One

Snow

"Motherhood is the strangest thing; it can be like being one's own Trojan horse." -Anonymous

Chapter One: New

Even from the beginning this insertion was different from the others.

The body, my body, felt different. I had been a Bear for so long that this body felt too small and fragile to be right. My hands were too weak and small. They could never form the beautiful ice sculptures that they had done for five lifetimes before. But as my vision cleared and I looked at them closer I smiled; they were perfect as the hands of a Healer, which is what I was. I also marveled at the sound of my voice. It was earthy and rich, yet gentle and assuring.

The gentle Healer who'd inserted me - and was there to guide me as I woke up and took in my new surroundings - had smiled kindly at me. Souls were always kind.

It hadn't taken long before I was easily able to manipulate this new body; my new body. At the Healer's request, I rifled across the surface of my host's memories to make sure that all the connections in my mind were there. They were. Everything was perfect. I felt perfect. These humans were so rich in their existence. I'd only begun my new life a few moments before, and already I loved it. It was, for lack of a better term, delicious.

I'd known that the Earth hadn't been completely settled when I volunteered to come here, but I hadn't realized that they would need me for such an important and potentially dangerous mission: infiltrating a local tribe of isolated and superstitious humans.

"Wouldn't a Seeker be better for this?" I'd asked, afraid of the dangerous and violence prone humans.

I was informed that there were no Seekers available. This had been a rare opportunity to perform an insertion on one of the tribe members (who apparently never came to this hospital anymore for some reason) without arousing suspicion on the part of the humans, and they'd hoped I'd be willing to do it. There really was no one else. From the information they had gathered, they knew my host body – Emily - had a husband named Sam who was a leader (of sorts) in the tribe. Since I was a Healer, I could easily insert a Seeker in his body as soon as one arrived in the next day or so.

"But anyone of our kind can perform an insertion." I'd replied, confused.

But it didn't matter. I was in this host, and all I could do was either leave and go back into stasis so that they could try with another Soul, or I could continue on as they'd asked.

I didn't want to leave.

To begin with I was already attached to my body and felt very protective of it; also, I didn't want to force another Soul to have to perform this dangerous task, when none of them were any better equipped to deal with the situation than I was.

The fact that I was already so attached and protective of this body surprised me. I'd never cared that much before. A body was a body was a body, right? Only the Soul inside mattered. And yet, I didn't want any other soul in my body. I found the very thought distasteful, and instantly rejected it.

And so I did it. I'd picked up Emily's purse and gone to her car and driven back to LaPush as if it were the most normal and natural thing for me to do, because it was.

I was pleased with how quickly I could recall everything I needed to, and hoped that it would continue. I needed every bit of help I could get my hands on to do this.

As I got closer to Emily's house – my house – I could feel my hands begin to slip on the steering wheel. Looking down, I noticed the dampness on my palms. Interesting. What a strange reaction to have because I was nervous. Interesting or not, as I pulled up to my new home, my nerves did not abate, and neither did the sweat on my hands.

I'd climbed out of the car on shaky legs and fought the sudden urge to vomit, which felt totally unrelated to my nerves. But what did I know? I was new to this whole human existence. J ust a few hours old right?

I tried to recall everything I knew about Sam, so that I could be sure to say and do the correct things when I saw him, and suddenly I felt calm. My nerves just left me. Somehow I knew that I would be ok and that Sam would never ever let anything happen to me. Don't ask me how I knew, I just knew.

I briefly wondered if this was a human trait that was experienced often. Humans were so different. They did not realize how good they could have it.

With my new sense of calm, I walked inside the house. Immediately, I heard his voice call out and my skin tingled. I tingled. It's as if every cell in my body was reaching out for him and before I realized what I was doing my face broke into a huge smile and I raced towards the voice that I instinctively loved so much.

My Sam.

I entered the living room and there he was waiting for me, his crooked smile on his face, as he tried to look stern while he asked me some trivial question. Something to do with nobody being allowed to leave LaPush today. I ignored it and froze where I was, staring at him, my entire world tilting on its axis.

He was beautiful.

It was like I was seeing him for the first time. Emily's memories of him didn't do him justice. Tall, muscular, bronze skin, short black hair, and eyes that burned like coals right into my very being.

I didn't understand what was going on. How could I? Human emotions were so new and overwhelming to me. All I knew was that I wanted him, needed him, and he was mine.

I began to run to him again, needing to feel him in my arms and to feel his arms around me, when suddenly his expression changed and he looked at me in surprise, almost as if he didn't recognize me. Then, before I even knew what was going on something in my peripheral vision exploded and a mass of fur and snarls was hurled at me.

Before I could even get my hands up another mass of fur and snarls knocked me down and I hit my head hard. Before I completely blacked out I had a flitting memory…

Werewolves.

Right, how could I fail to recall something so important?

And then everything was black.

Chapter 2: Questioned

I awoke inside a dimly lit room, in what appeared to be a clinic of some sort. Perhaps it was LaPush's clinic, but it was too dark to be sure. I gingerly sat up and took measure of my body. It all seemed to be ok, though I was very sore, and certain that I probably had bruises to match.

As my memories slowly began to trickle back I realized that I had been attacked. For some reason one of the Werewolves in the pack tried to kill me.

Werewolves!

This was definitely something the Souls did not know about yet. I needed to warn them, and soon. And get out of here before that werewolf, Leah (my mind supplied the name to me) tried to finish what she started.

I tried to get off the bed, and an involuntary groan escaped my lips. How I wished for some "No Pain," but of course, this clinic would have nothing like that. I was the first of my kind wasn't I?

"I can get you some Tylenol for the pain if you like," a gentle voice from the corner asked.

I froze, my heart hammering against my chest. I'd thought I was alone, because up until that voice sounded, I'd not heard or sensed anyone else in the room.

My eyes adjusted to the dark and focused on the corner where the voice came from, and slowly I began to make out a smiling, beautiful, marble skinned woman. She seemed to be the embodiment of the children's fairy tale character, Snow White. Had she not taken a slow step forward I would have thought she was a statue.

From here, two things happened at once; first, my body instantly reacted and threw myself into the furthest corner away from her, and second, my mind screamed at me "COLD ONE!"

Vampire.

It seemed that LaPush and Forks had many secrets from the rest of humanity, secrets that I doubted the Souls were capable of dealing with. The Cold Ones were dead and indestructible. They were not suitable hosts. The Werewolves were violent, and I didn't know if we would even be able to live through a shift to the wolf form.

My mind raced as I took all of it in.

Everything.

Vampires, Werewolves, Treaties, Sam, Leah.

Everything.

The Cold One, Esme, the gentle "mother" (if my memory was accurate) tried to come closer to me and seemed to be asking me something again, but I just hugged the wall tighter, closed my eyes and ignored her. Rocking back and forth I tried to make sense of it all.

Esme took my hint and went back into her corner, resuming her statuesque pose once again.

I just rocked and rocked and rocked, and my mind flew through it all. I felt like I was living an entire lifetime in just a few moments. I don't know how long I sat there for, minutes or days, but it was interrupted before I was done, and before I'd come remotely close to figuring anything out.

I tensed in fear again as the door to the room opened, blinding me momentarily; I was certain that Leah, or perhaps Sam, was coming to finish what they'd begun, and at this point I hardly blamed them.

Those particular memories had been some of the most painful to go through. Leah's grief at losing Sam had made me cry. And thoughts of what Sam must be going through right now were so difficult for me that I instantly shied away from them.

Sam… my heart ached for him and I yearned for him. I didn't understand why; memories alone should not have had this effect on me. It was as if this body had a physical need to be with him. I nearly welcomed the idea of him coming to kill me; at least it would mean I got to see him again.

But instead of the feared wolf attack, two human shapes entered the room quietly while Esme just as quietly slipped out.

The door closed and I was plunged into darkness once again, and I didn't mind. The dark helped me think clearly. As my eyes adjusted, I saw the two figures evaluating me, holding some sort of silent council. I didn't know why they were here… but maybe they knew if Sam was ok.

Suddenly my heart started to pound faster and I realized I didn't know if Sam had survived the fight with Leah. I stared at the two figures in horror, hoping that Sam was ok. If anything happened to Sam…

Interrupting my thoughts, one of them moved towards me and I was so startled I scrambled closer to the wall on instinct. My eyes made out his face in the darkness; Carlisle, the father, the peacemaker and leader among the Cold Ones. I tried to relax as he stopped a few feet away and sat down, but my instincts to fear him were so ingrained I still jerked away from him. It was foolish of me. Everyone knew that Carlisle would never hurt anyone; even the council elders trusted him.

Then he smiled at me, and I was momentarily dazzled by him. He was beautiful. But they all were - it was part of what made them deadly. The perfect hunters. Still, he was hard not to trust. His smile was so reassuring. I realized I was staring at him and that he was talking to me. Focus I said to myself, looking away from his distracting face.

"…my son Edward. What's your name?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

I froze. They know! They somehow KNEW that I was not Emily!

That was what I had not been able to figure out! Why had Leah attacked me? Why had Sam hesitated when he saw me? And suddenly the answer was there in my mind as my hand went up and felt my now healed face.

The scars were gone.

The Healer, in his attempt to show kindness and heal me had really just exposed me. I knew he'd had good intentions, but hadn't he thought this through? Clearly humanity did not have this sort of technology, though perhaps they would have if they hadn't been so focused on wars and weapons. While the Healer had only done his job, he'd also given me away. Before I could dwell on that thought any longer, Carlisle was talking again.

"Look, I know you're scared. I know you're wondering how we know so much, and the truth is we don't. We only know that you aren't Emily. We know that you are using her body to live in, and we don't want to hurt you, but we also care very much for Emily, and want to make sure that you are both OK. Can I do that? I just want to make sure you weren't seriously injured by Leah."

I shuddered at the mention of Leah's name and looked frantically around the room, expecting another attack.

"No, she's not here, she can't hurt you." Edward answered my silent question from his corner of the room.

Without even realizing it, I felt some of my tension leave me. If they had intention of killing me they would have done so by now. The least I could do was tell them my name. And maybe, maybe if I did, they would tell me if Sam was ok. My heart panged as soon as I thought of his name, and I had a hard time speaking. I was so scared for him now. Opening my lips, I revealed my name, hoping that the information I strangely craved about Sam would soon follow.

Apparently I was nearly too quiet for a Vampire.

"What was that?" Carlisle asked gently. "Snow?"

All I could do was nod, before he continued.

"Is that your name?"

He was so gentle, and I found that the longer I was in their presence, the braver I was getting. Memories of the bears and my past lives filled my head, reminding me of who I once was and prompting me to give them my full name.

"Snow falling on ice castles."

Of course I knew that was a mouthful for humans, so I shortened it to Snow. It was easier.

Carlisle accepted this, and slowing extending his hand to me while he stood up said, "Well Snow, would you please let me take a look at you? I just want to make sure you're ok."

I eyed his hand warily, I wanted to trust him… and yet, he was still a Vampire. I looked past him and Edward at the door, and wondered if maybe Sam was out there. Waiting for me? Waiting to kill me more than likely. I looked at Carlisle's hand again, still outstretched for me.

"He won't hurt you either," he promised. "No one is going to hurt you."

Now was my chance it seemed; if he wanted my hand, I was going to find out about Sam, and so I asked, his name trembling on my lips.

"Sam's not here either. He won't hurt you," Carlisle replied gently.

What? No, that's not what I meant, but before I could explain, Carlisle seemed to grasp this and said, "Sam's OK. Leah didn't hurt him, and he's outside wondering if Emily's OK."

I was consumed with relief. Sam was safe, and he was waiting outside!

Then it hit me like a blow to the stomach.

He was waiting outside to see if Emily was ok.

Emily.

Not me.

Emily.

I fought back the tears pricking the corners of my eyes. This was ridiculous! I didn't even know Sam! How could I possibly feel this way about him? How could I… love him?

And then I knew. In that moment I knew that I loved him, that everything I'd been feeling for him was love and need, and that I would do anything for him. Anything. I just wanted him to be happy.

"Please Snow," Carlisle broke into my thoughts as if he could read them. "Please. For Sam."

That did it. With slow and shaking fingers, I extended my slim bronze hand towards his. I saw Edward looking at me, and as I finally touched Carlisle's hand I gasped quietly with the realization that while Carlisle wasn't reading my mind, Edward certainly could and most likely was.

Gripping my hand tighter, Carlisle gently pulled me to my feet and led me over to the examination table, while I valiantly tried NOT to think about any details about The Souls, my mission here to LaPush, and most of all, just how fragile we really were.

Of course that only meant that those thoughts were pervading my mind and I could only hope that it was too much for Edward to take in and too foreign for him to comprehend. I could not betray my kind. Were these Cold Ones to find out, they could destroy us all; and while I now had no doubt that they valued human lives, I didn't think it extended to Souls.

I tried to think of a song I could hum in my brain to distract myself from thinking things I ought not to be thinking, and mentally cursed myself for not spending at least one life with The Bats. I just could never bring myself to be blind!

I realized that Carlisle was asking me about my healed scars, and so I just gave a miniscule shrug of my shoulders and tried not to think of how it was done, or the fact that I was a Healer myself, and quite proficient at this kind of healing. Edward's quiet gasp of surprise confirmed my suspicions. He was listening to my thoughts, and I was doing a rotten job of keeping him out of my head.

And so I tuned them both out while Carlisle continued his exam of me. I could have told him everything he needed to know. I was fine; just a bit sore and bruised. But I didn't trust myself to think - much less speak - right now. I would reveal too much if I did.

But then one question broke through my concentration.

"Snow, I need to know, is there a way to get Emily back?"

I looked back at Carlisle in horror, my eyes widening.

"No!" I heard myself gasp, and then I fled back into the corner. I must not think it! Must not think of how to remove a Soul. This is me, I AM ME! There is no Emily! I repeated those words to myself over and over again as rocked back and forth in the corner fighting to keep Soul/Host implantation and removal thoughts from my head.

I sensed someone kneeling next to me and then heard Carlisle's voice again. Why wouldn't he just leave me alone?

"Snow."

I didn't stop my rocking.

"Is there… Is there a way to remove you from Emily's body without hurting either of you?"

I froze at that question, horror filling me again as the answer to that question flashed fleetingly inside my mind. I snapped my eyes tightly shut again and resumed my rocking and my mental mantra.

But Carlisle wouldn't let up. He just had to keep asking questions.

"This is an easy one Snow. Can you tell me why Emily left the reservation and went to a doctor's office outside of La Push when she knew the reservation was in lockdown?"

This paused me for a minute as I searched my mind for the answer to his question, since, now that he asked it, I was curious myself. Realization came crashing down on me as the memory of Emily looking at a positive home pregnancy test entered my mind.

Almost simultaneously I heard Edward hiss in surprise.

"She's pregnant!"

Chapter Three: Decided

Esme was back again, standing as still as a statue in the corner, while I rocked catatonically in the corner trying to process what I'd just "remembered."

I was pregnant.

I was a Mother.

I knew how reverently humans regarded Mothers, but over 50% of the human population had the potential to be mothers. With the Souls it was closer to 1%. Motherhood was a big deal among the Souls; potential Mothers were revered.

Perhaps it was due to the nature of how a Soul became a mother; because the mother never survived. A Soul mother died so that thousands might come into being and live.

Altruism at its most complete.

Unlike any of our other Hosts, humans also had live births, and sometimes the mothers died there as well. It was also a long, very involved process.

A live birth was so different from eggs or spawn; and so also very different from anything we as a species were familiar with.

It was so much more… personal. So much closer to our own births.

I stopped rocking and looked down at my abdomen trying to comprehend what I knew to be going on in there. Cells dividing and forming into a new life. Emily figured she was nearly three months along by the time she had her appointment, and I recalled something that Emily read in a baby book in the waiting room. A human fetus already had fingernails by three months. I don't know why that struck such a chord with me, but it did.

This baby, Sam's baby, my baby, was real, with fingernails and everything.

I was a mother.

Tears filled my eyes, and I was confused at first because I wasn't sad at all. I was happy, I was exuberant, and I was filled with joy.

And then just as suddenly I was filled with guilt and despair. I remembered how happy Emily had been. How she was planning different ways to tell Sam the good news.

I'd taken all that away from her. From both of them.

Realization hit me with the force of a battering ram. I was a parasite, and this was wrong.

We were wrong to come here, to come to Earth. We were wrong to murder humanity like this. All we saw was war, death, destruction, poverty, famine… We didn't see the beauty. The love, family, loyalty. The human emotions that were so far above and beyond anything any Soul had ever felt before.

I started to sob as I realized the greatest crime and atrocity my species had ever committed:

Genocide.

I should have never left the Bears. They welcomed the Souls. It was not murder to live out a life with them. I was happy there. But even as that thought crossed my mind, I realized that no, I wasn't happy there. I was merely content.

In order to truly know happiness one has to know sorrow, sadness, and pain. I'd never experienced any of those emotions before coming to Earth, and now it seemed that I'd lived more in one day as a human than I had in five lives as a Bear.

I could never go back to that. Yet how could I stay? By the very fact that I was here and alive, I had for - all intents and purposes - murdered Emily.

But was it really murder? Was it murder when a species didn't take advantage of what they had? Was it murder when all they did was go about, killing each other in order to serve selfish acts and satisfy wants instead of needs? What made Emily so special that she should deserve this gift over me? There was no telling whether or not she would have been a good mother. She might not have even had the skills to cope with a child as precious as the one growing inside me.

That's not the point.

A small voice, one that the humans called a conscience, was constantly berating everything I knew. You didn't just take a life because the actions of certain members of their kind had been wrong. Just because mothers in the past had failed, it didn't mean Emily would. From everything I had gathered, Emily was kind and gentle. She would have raised this baby with Sam and… that gave me pause.

Sam.

No one deserved to have the people they loved taken from them. No matter who you were, that should never be an option. I had only been in Emily's body for a day and yet her memories were so strong that I couldn't imagine my life without Sam.

Humans had an ability that I thought I had known, but had never truly felt until now.

Love.

It was an emotion so powerful that I knew it could overcome all boundaries. And humans felt it to their fullest extent. They thrived because of love. And love is what made them beautiful.

This same love now filled me and while I didn't deserve it after what I had done, I felt it towards Sam. I didn't know what I would do if he were taken away from me. The thought alone was so horrible that I couldn't quite comprehend it. And here I was, having put him in that same position. Not only was the person that he loved gone forever, but now the object that he hated, was carrying their child. We may have set out to make the world a better place, but we were causing nothing but destruction, pain, and misery.

And so I was decided.

I would preserve life. All life.

Even if it meant my own death, I would help save humanity, because for all its flaws, ugliness, and hate, it was still the single most beautiful thing I'd encountered in my many lives, and I loved it.

I would save it, if I could.

I looked at my abdomen and smiled as I placed a hand over it. They wouldn't do anything to me while I was pregnant, I was sure of that. That left me roughly six months to do all that I could to help the humans.

"Don't come early little guy," I whispered softly. "I'm going to need all the time I can get to make this work." And then, even softer, "I love you."

Chapter Four: Believed

I didn't have much time to bask in the glow of my decision, or to begin to doubt it, because suddenly the door was thrown open, and light spilled in, silhouetting the four figures right outside the door.

Before I had a chance to adjust my eyes, the lights came on overhead, truly blinding me, and suddenly I was afraid.

Had I misjudged them? Were they going to kill me pregnant or not? Was I truly that hated by them?

I couldn't blame them for hating me, but the child? The innocent baby? Would they condemn it to death for my crimes as well?

My hands wrapped around my abdomen protectively. I didn't think I could bring myself to fight, and honestly against Vampires or Werewolves I didn't stand a chance, yet some instinct was driving me to protect this baby.

My baby.

Carlisle must have seen my movements because suddenly his voice was drifting across the room. It tried to sooth me and while I wanted to give into it, I couldn't until I was sure that they weren't here to cause my child any harm.

"Snow, we're sorry," he said gently. Crouching down, he placed himself at my level. His face was open and apologetic as he looked me in the eye.

"We didn't mean to startle you. Alice here," he gestured to a slight pixie of a girl, standing over his shoulder, "had a vision and we needed to talk to you about it. Humanity's future has apparently changed."

I stared at him, not sure why he was telling me this. Could this mean that they trusted me? You wouldn't tell this sort of thing to your enemies, would you?

"Snow, we think that you might have had something to do with this."

"Me?"

Carlisle nodded. "Edward caught the tail end of one of your thoughts. You made some sort of decision just now."

I stared at him for a moment until it hit me. I had made a decision. The decision to save humanity.

"I… yes," I said slowly. "I don't want to do what I originally was sent here to do."

"What do you want to do?"

I let out a breath. Well, I may as well jump in with both feet.

"I want to help you. I don't want my kind taking over. I think we have misunderstood your people and while our intentions may have once been good, I think that we are now wrong."

Carlisle nodded, but let me continue. "I don't want to kill anyone though, Soul or Human. And if I'm going to help you, I need both the wolves and the vampires to promise the exact same thing."

"I can promise that on behalf of my family," Carlisle said almost immediately. He turned, looking over his shoulder to Jacob Black, giving him what I assumed was a prompting look.

"Same for my pack," Jacob said, although it seemed somewhat begrudgingly.

"And the others?"

"I'll talk to them," Carlisle assured. "I can't guarantee they will like the idea, but I think with a little time, they will promise the same."

I looked at the group around me, my hand still on my abdomen. I knew that while they might not like me, and certainly not my kind, they would protect my child at any cost. Swallowing, I began to tell them all the things that I had tried to keep from Edward earlier.

"I'm supposed to report back in one week. It is then that I will be given everything I need to implant Souls into the humans of LaPush. Now, obviously I will not be doing that, but I will have to keep them in their cryogenic chamber until we can find a way to transport the Souls safely off the planet."

"And just how exactly is that going to help humanity?"

It was Jacob's voice that had sneered from the corner.

"Humans are still being implanted around the world. They are still dying, being erased by the Souls. We can't just sit back and pretend like the world outside of LaPush doesn't exist. We need to do something more aggressive. Tell the world what is going on."

I looked at him, wondering if all humans acted as rashly as this one.

"Are you suggesting I should I 'go public'? Come out with everything I know? And who would believe me if I did? We make up over 50% of your population now (the underdeveloped countries were the easiest to take over initially), and the only people who can tell a difference between us without a flashlight are Vampires and Werewolves. Are you prepared to 'come out' as well? To tell the world about your existence?"

"Of course not," Jacob snapped. "But we can't just let the rest of humanity die either."

"I can't believe I'm about to say this," Edward muttered. "But Jacob's right. We can't sit back and let your Souls take over the remainder of humanity. We can't come out ourselves though either. That's not an option."

"Look," I said gently. "I don't think I can save the whole world. All I know is that I can perhaps help preserve LaPush. Humans will be safe here. Souls don't lie, and so they will trust that I have implanted them in Human hosts. And we are not here to change things; only to experience, so they will not be surprised if the LaPush residents continue to remain isolated. Of course Souls will want to continue to use First Beach like they always have, but here, the weather benefits humans as well as vampires. There will be no sun to give away the lack of reflection in their eyes."

"So what do we do then?" Jacob demanded. "Just hunker down in LaPush while the rest of the world gets murdered?"

His words drove inside me like a knife, and tears sprang unbidden in my eyes as I struggled to answer him.

"Yes. It is the only way. If you reveal your hand now, all the humans you love will be used as hosts. All we can do is wait, and hope."

"Hope for what? That they'll eventually figure out that this is the last outpost of humans just ripe for the picking?" Jacob asked sarcastically.

"No," Edward cut in before I could answer, and a cold arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me towards them. It was Esme, trying to comfort me while I cried for all the humans that I knew would die.

"Haven't you been paying attention Jake? The Souls are all alike. They don't see what they are doing as murder. Snow has only come to the realization because of her bond with Sam, and because of her pregnancy. Given time, more and more Souls will come to think and feel the same way Snow does. At least, we hope. There really is no other way." Edward finished.

"Well, we don't all have mind reading abilities Edward," Jacob retorted, but then at Edward's raised eyebrow he amended, "In human form at least."

That seemed to break the tension. Everyone chuckled some, and I was calming down.

"It feels good to have a plan." Edward said; he was starting to strike me as a bit obsessive compulsive. "Will it work Alice?"

The grin on Alice's face was answer enough for all of us.

Chapter 5: Accepted

4 months later

Jacob was right; the elders immediately agreed to combine the two wolf packs, once they realized they really had no other options. Sam had phased into his wolf form and disappeared into the woods.

He was "pulling a Jacob" as the other wolves had jokingly said, and I seemed to recall that yes, Jacob had done this a few times in the past. Wasn't it because of Bella… Edward's wife? The mother of Renesme, the girl he'd imprinted on?

Wow.

And I thought my situation with Leah/Sam/Emily/my baby was complicated.

Everyone except Sam seemed to be taking everything, including my existence, in stride. Of course, they all missed Emily (to my eternal guilt and sorrow) but no one appeared to hold a grudge against me. They all seemed to accept that it was not my fault, that I'd not asked to be placed in Emily, and that this was, in fact, natural for me and my kind.

I suppose if anyone would accept a "parasite" being natural in a human host, it would have to be Werewolves and Vampires, both of whom had no choice in what they were (well, besides Bella), but had to live with the realities of their existence the best way they knew how, much like I did. In fact Leah, of all people, seemed to get along with me now, better than she had after Sam had imprinted on Emily. There was no way she could know how I felt about Sam, or I doubted that she'd be so cordial.

Sam.

There was no denying that I was pining for him, though I thought I was hiding it fairly well. It seemed that only little Seth caught on to how desperate I was to know how Sam was fairing. He thankfully kept me updated as often as he could, though it was always the same.

"He's somewhere in Canada, and he doesn't think much about anything. He's trying to be pure wolf and forget Emily, forget you, and forget… well forget everything."

Truly, I couldn't blame him.

It went without saying that I could no longer stay in the clinic. At first the Cullens had been adamant that I stay with them, to protect me from the Quileutes who were sure to want to make me pay for "murdering Emily." But when it became apparent that no such thing was going to happen, that I was trusted (apparently a lot of stock was placed in Alice's visions and Edward's mind reading ability), and that I still was not completely comfortable around the Vampires, I went back to my home.

Or rather, Emily and Sam's home.

But Sam was gone (it still hurt to think that), and so was Emily. And both because of me.

So, perhaps it was a bit of self-punishment to go there and force myself to face all those memories. Memories of Emily and Sam. But the truth was I relished it. I loved Sam. I wanted Sam. And if all I had left of him was the home he had with Emily, the pictures on the wall, the scents and belongings, then as sick and masochistic as it was of me, I would take the torture gladly. Anything to be near him, even if it was painful reminders of the lives I had ruined.

I wasn't sure if it was the guilt or the pregnancy that kept me tossing and turning in my sleep, but I was easily woken at night, and rarely got a good night's rest.

Which is how I found myself waking up to a gentle knocking on my front door. I had been having the most wonderful dream. I couldn't remember the details, but I knew that Sam was in it. As I opened my eyes, I realized that I was sleeping on his side of the bed again. I inhaled the faint memory of his scent from the pillow, and sat up out of bed slowly; anything too fast and I was likely to get dizzy.

I wrapped my bathrobe awkwardly around my very-pregnant belly and shuffled to the door stifling a yawn. Glancing at the clock I saw it was the middle of the night… no wonder I was exhausted! The knocking resumed with more force this time.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I called sleepily, and opened the door to a very disheveled and very naked Leah. I quickly threw my robe around her and beckoned her inside.

"What's wrong?" I asked, afraid for the answer - afraid that we'd been found out.

So far, our little ruse had worked. The Souls suspected nothing, and we had a nice stack of incubating Souls in a secure room in the Cullen home. As far as the Souls were concerned LaPush was no longer human, no longer a threat. But with Leah's late and hasty arrival I was afraid it could mean only one thing: we'd been found out.

That or something had happened to Sam. My heart seized at the thought of Sam being hurt, or even worse, dead, and then my mind immediately rejected that idea. Before I could think of much more, Leah spoke up rapidly, "Carlisle needs you at the clinic right now!"

"Why? What's wrong?" My heart was racing again.

"Edward and Bella found a hiker when they were hunting. Carlisle wants to try an extraction again."

I frowned at that. The last extraction had not gone well, not at all . I had safely removed the Soul from Bella's mother, and had moved to perform the same on her step-father. Unfortunately, he'd awoken, and completely misunderstood the situation - or maybe fully understood it - and had shredded his brain stem. There was nothing I could do to save him. No amount of "Heal" could have brought him back.

To make things worse, Bella's mother never regained consciousness. Bella and Charlie chose not to re-implant the Soul in Renee's body, but instead to euthanize her. I can't say whether or not I agreed with Bella's choice. Renée wasn't my mother, after all, and who could know how they would behave in a similar situation?

Renée's funeral had been the first I'd ever attended and it was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. I honestly don't know if there is anything more heartbreaking than seeing a person physically unable to cry for their mother.

Bella was gracious and didn't blame me. She said simply that she had already resigned herself to never seeing her mother again once she became a Vampire, but I could tell she was hiding a lot of pain, and was just trying to make me feel better.

Of course I blamed myself. How could my race do this? How could we murder? They just didn't understand; if only they could be made to understand….

And so, after that failed experiment, of course I was shocked that Edward and Bella would want me to try again. Quite frankly I didn't see the point, and I certainly didn't want to hurt anyone else.

So I told Leah just that.

"It's different this time," she said, shivering in anticipation. I could tell she was barely able to keep herself from phasing back into a wolf. "This time Edward heard TWO voices in ONE head."

And with that she was out the door and racing away on all fours, leaving me standing there stunned.

Chapter 6: Needed

I walked into the clinic's waiting room and saw their hopeful faces; it seemed that everyone, at least all the Cullens, plus Jacob, Seth, and Leah were there. Scratch that, Bella was gone.

"She's at home with Nessie," Edward responded to my unvoiced question.

I could see why this would be hard for her – after what happened to her mother. Edward nodded his head, actually, just slightly inclined it, as if he wanted to secretly confirm my thought. It seemed that Bella didn't want anyone to know just how much she was still grieving.

I'd noticed these past four months that Bella tended to closely guard her feelings, except when it came to Edward or Nessie. That thought made Edward smile, and left me chagrined – I was still not used to his ability to read minds. Thankfully, before my thoughts could get me in any more trouble, Carlisle strode in with an excited smile on his face.

"Snow!" he called, and offered me a white doctor's coat, much like his. "Let's get started, shall we?"

I flailed around trying to get into the coat. My girth was really making simple tasks like this more and more awkward. I could only imagine how it would be during my final month when I was REALLY huge. Moving around would be so much easier afterwards – but wait, I wasn't going to be around after the baby was born was I? I felt a sharp pang in my heart at the thought of leaving this place, these people that I loved and cared for, of leaving my baby.

Cold hands brushed my arms and I let out a startled shriek as someone helped me tug the lab coat on. Turning around I saw it was Jasper, acting like the southern gentlemen that he was at heart. His normally pained expression unfroze for a bit as he flashed me a dazzling smile, and I felt my knees go week.

I hated it when they did that!

Edward, of course, heard that thought, and coming up next to Jazz flashed me another brilliant smile. Great; now I was being dazzled in stereo.

"After you," he said with his velvet voice and motioned ahead past Carlisle, who was grinning at me just as brilliantly as the other two. The Cullens took great pleasure in teasing me, and I was just too tired to deal with it right now. It was the middle of the night for goodness sakes, and unlike them I actually needed sleep!

"Don't you start too!" I wagged a finger under Carlisle's nose, and warily looked around for Emmett. I was surprised he wasn't here harassing me along with the other three. At Carlisle's playfully hurt expression, which seeming to proclaim pure innocence, I shook my head, chuckled under my breath, and walking briskly down the hall asked, "What can you tell me about the patient?"

Suddenly all business, Carlisle answered, "He appears to be approximately in his late twenties, Caucasian, male, and quite healthy. His ID says his name is Bryan Trusdale. Bella and Edward came across him while they were hunting. But the big news is that Edward heard TWO voices in Bryan's head."

I looked at Edward for confirmation, and he obligingly nodded his head before continuing where Carlisle left off.

"Not only were there two distinct voices but they were talking to each other. Well, arguing with each other, actually. So, Bella snuck up on him - not hard to do since he was busy having an internal shouting match - knocked him senseless, and then we brought him back here; after I made sure she didn't give him a concussion or anything."

"Wait, you heard two distinct voices and they were arguing with each other?" I asked shocked and surprised. I'd never heard Emily before, much less argued with her. In fact I'd never even heard of anything like this happening in the billions of Soul insertions that'd been done in the galaxy. How did we know the person didn't just suffer from some sort of psychological disorder like schizophrenia?

"Well for starters Bryan kept calling the other voice, 'Sings to the trees,' nasty names like 'filthy alien invader' and 'tree-hugging alien hippy.' I'm pretty sure the Human was talking to the Soul. And to answer your first question, apparently Sings to the Trees is a nature lover and is always going on hikes, etc, whereas Bryan would much prefer to remain in his mother's basement playing video games." Edward finished with a dazzling grin.

My mind whirled with the implications of what I'd heard. "So, you both think that because the Human consciousness still appears to be there, we could safely remove the Soul, who appears to have been a bat before, and the Human would come back?"

They both nodded their heads. I had to agree; it made sense.

It also made me wonder why Emily had never tried to talk to me. If humans could hang on why didn't she? Did she not love Sam enough? Was she not strong enough?

"Nonsense," Edward interrupted my thoughts. "Bella always said Emily was one of the strongest willed women she knew, and everyone could see how much she loved Sam. No, I think perhaps it was just because she was surprised. She had no time to defend herself."

"Then why would this guy, Bryan, still be around?" I asked out loud for Carlisle's benefit.

"I don't know. Hopefully he'll be able to tell us when you and Carlisle are done."

And there he was, Bryan Trusdale, laid out on the operating table.

I hope we don't kill him.

* * * * *

The Soul had been safely removed, and Esme was currently storing it in the freezer vault at the Cullen's home. All we could do now was wait.

The room was more crowded than I liked. Carlisle and I were there for obvious reasons, Jasper was there to calm Bryan down if he did wake up, Edward was there to read his thoughts, and Jake was there because he said if the blood suckers got to be there at least one wolves needed to be there too.

Personally, I thought it was bad idea. I didn't think the guys realized how intimidating they all looked together. Thankfully everyone had agreed that Emmett didn't need to be in there. I loved Emmett but he was just, well, HUGE.

"So how exactly are we going to explain to this guy what happened?" Jacob asked, breaking the silence that had been coursing through the room.

"The same way we explain things to you," Edward said. "Nice and slow."

A small smile had formed on Edward's lips, one that I noticed showed up quite frequently when he was talking to Jacob. It was strange to me how much enjoyment he took from annoying the Werewolf.

Jacob rolled his eyes and turned to me. "So can I help with extracting Edward when the time comes? Maybe we could get Nessie involved. It would be like a family outing."

"You're not part of my family."

"I'm so much a part of your family that I'm inseparable, actually. In fact, if I were gone, both the women in your life would be upset."

"They'd get over it. Sooner or later they are bound to become sick of the smell of dog."

"Keep dreaming bloodsucker."

"Don't have to dream. Alice can see the future, remember?"

"Quiet." Carlisle said, uncharacteristically severe, but then I saw why. The patient was waking up.

"Wha-what…" he mumbled groggily, his left hand twitching. I reached out to help him sit up, since the feeling of the Cullens' icy skin, or Jake's burning skin would probably startle him. That's when I realized that Bryan was actually the only real Human in the room. For some reason I found this to be funny, and judging by the knowing smile on Edward's face, he agreed with me.

Bryan clung to my arm like it was a lifeline as I gently rocked him to an upright position.

"Where am I?" he asked, pressing a hand against his eyes. "Is it gone? How did you find me? Who are you?"

"You're safe and yes it's gone. As for the rest, that will take some explaining," Carlisle answered, while simultaneously shining a light in Bryan's eyes. Bryan didn't seem to object, so Carlisle proceeded to check his vitals while I stood behind Bryan supporting him. He was still pretty weak.

"Tell me, how were you able to resist implantation?"

"Oh, is that what they call it?" Bryan asked. At Carlisle's nod, he continued, "I dunno really. I guess I just resisted. I knew we were being invaded. I always knew aliens would come someday. I just didn't know that our own government would harbor and help them!

"It was conspiracy all along. I guess they got tired of anal probes and decided to mess with our heads. I'm originally from Las Vegas, and after my mom came back home with shiny eyes and stopped nagging me about everything, I realized she was one of them, and I had to get out. Yeah, as you can see, I still got caught, and they stuck that other mind in my brain. I bet they anal probed me too."

Great, I thought, the only successful removal we've done and the guy's a conspiracy theory paranoid nut who lives in his mother's basement!

That got a lopsided grin out of Edward, and Bryan, wondering who Edward was smiling at, looked over his shoulder at me, just as Carlisle moved his light to check out Bryan's ears.

Three things happened simultaneously, Edward's smile froze, Carlisle's light reflected off my eyes, and Bryan lunged for me screaming.

"Nooooo! I won't go back! You can't make me!!!!"

I felt his fingers brush against my throat, but before I could back away I was suddenly out in the hall in Edward's arms. He gently set me against the floor, and Alice danced up.

"Is she OK?" she trilled in her girlish voice.

"Yes, but perhaps it would be better if we kept Bryan away from Snow until he understands."

"Of course," I said. "He's just been through a terrible ordeal at the hands of my kind. I would have attacked me too."

"No you wouldn't have," Alice said defensively. "You're incapable of hurting anyone or anything."

"Alice, could you please take Snow home? She's done all she can tonight."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm fine. Alice probably ought to stay here anyways. I'll be OK. Besides, I'm not an invalid just because I'm pregnant. I can still drive you know," I teased.

Edward smiled and thanked me, while Alice gave me a quick hug and reminded me that my baby shower was in a few days.

I tried not to groan too loudly; the idea of hosting a baby shower seemed to make her so happy, so I'd let her run with it. Bella warned me against it. She said Alice would go overboard, and she was right! But Alice was a difficult person to say no to.

Edward and Alice turned to leave, and I caught Edward's sleeve to stop him. I stared intently into his butterscotch eyes and thought at him, too scared of the response to voice my question out loud.

Edward met my eyes and shook his head gently. "I'm sorry, no. I would have told you if I'd ever heard Emily."

I didn't know if I was happy or saddened by that. Both probably, but I was too exhausted to sort out my feelings right now. I needed to sleep, badly.

I walked out to my car and sleepily noticed the sun was starting to come up. At least it would help keep me awake on the drive home.

When I arrived home, I pulled the car onto the gravel driveway, enjoying the familiar sound of the crunch beneath my tires. I yawned loudly; I needed a nice long nap. Trying to pull an all-nighter when you are six months pregnant is not a good idea. Shuffling up to the front door, I was reaching into my purse for my keys when I noticed the front door was not fully closed.

That was odd… I was certain that I'd closed and locked it on my way to the clinic, and yet here it was open. I shook my head trying to clear it; obviously I hadn't closed and locked it. Or more than likely Leah or one of the rest of the pack had let themselves in and were crashed out on the couch. The pack had been very quick to resume their old habit of raiding Sam and Emily's fridge and food, and I didn't mind one bit. I liked the company.

"Hello?" I called, as I entered, tossing my purse on the floor and awkwardly shrugging out of my coat. "Hey, I'm going to catch a nap right now, so make yourself at –"

My words caught in my throat as I turned around and saw the shape illuminated by the rising sun streaming in from the window shutters.

I was right about it being a member of the pack. Just not one I'd ever expected.

"Sam," I breathed.