Dark Adaptation.
Chapter title: The Gift of Death Part 1
DISCLAIMER: I do own Descendant's of Darkness and I do accept bribes. Specifically in the form of cookies, expensive dinners and fanart. And all fanfiction authors who wish to write about Descendant's of Darkness, or as the Japanese folks call it, Yami no something or rather, must pay a 'Writing fanfiction fee' to me so that I don't sue them for that 'All rights reserved rubbish.' (Gets tapped on shoulder by Madman folk) Oh my, I think this be the beginning of a long and tedious lawsuit…
Note: Well I certainly received a hearty response for the last chapter! Twenty-seven reviews! And just think, I was complaining about not being able to get twenty reviews per chappie, last update! Whoohoo!
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: I have fanart! Tsuzuki and Bakayaro Maniac have drawn fanart for Dark Adaptation! Hooray! (Faints) If you would like to see their artwork, you can find it by logging into their profile pages and using the links that you find there! Thanks to Bakayaro Maniac, you can finally see what Pandora looks like! Hooray! Oh and a fair warning – This is a very, very, very, very loooo-oooong chapter. As a result of the chapters' length, I've had no choice but to cut it in two. Don't worry though. Both parts will be posted together. Feel free to review each part separately, or to review both parts as a whole. That being said, enjoy the very long chapter!
MurakiI managed to make it past the Public Security clean up crew with Mr. Tsuzuki swaddled in my arms like a newborn baby, his tousled head of hair pressed to the wall of my chest, his scraped and bloodied hands clutching at the frayed seams of my shirt. He'd sobbed from the moment we'd left the scene of Pandora's death, until the second we passed through the doorway and made it out to the car park. He fell silent then. Violet stained eyes wide open and one fingertip pressed into the space between his upper and lower rows of teeth.
He was a most difficult creature to understand. The beautiful immortal with the mortal yearning for life and the driven compulsion to protect those he thought needed his protection. Let's face it; anyone who came within three feet of Mr. Tsuzuki needed his protection, as long as they batted their eyes the right way.
His sympathy for that boy was a difficult process to entertain however. At least to me. From what I gathered, based on their prior conversation, they had only been acquainted for some short time, which didn't measure up to the level of grief Tsuzuki was exhibiting. He was far too casual with his emotions, investing his heart into the transitory, temporary relationships of people whom he came into contact with; either through work, or through his day to day mandatory activities. To a creature whose heart was so guarded, he allowed an alarming amount of debilitating human emotion to skewer its' way inside. The capacity to love and accommodate a person in such a limited space of time may have been seen as an admirable quality amongst other mortals but I was poised on the very brink of loving and hating this characteristic. Ultimately, I suppose I should have appreciated this apparent weakness and exploited it, in order to draw him to me all the more effectively but in regards to other individuals, such as this clandestine Pandora, I was finding it nothing more than a bothersome hindrance. Tsuzuki's grief was impenetrable. I attempted again and again to instigate some form of communication between us but he was closed off to me and to everything that was happening around us. His beautiful eyes, normally so vivacious and intense, were suspended in a place that was beyond my ability to enter. A dark, numb void were there was nothing but the overwhelming despair and the moist cut of his tears as they continued to flow, regardless of the lapse in his verbalization. It was as though he entered into an otherworld in the space between the bloodied cinema door and the night air. A place that sedated him so thoroughly, so intensely, you might have mistaken the man to be intoxicated.
This level of mourning was beyond my comprehension. I hadn't even cried that passionately at the death of my parents. The closest I had even come to breaching that unattainable degree of grief, was the night Saki had taken me and cast the curse upon my body.
The boy had called me Rosebud… that was Saki's name for me.
How did he know…?
I didn't think too deeply about it. Such thoughts were uncharacteristically morbid of me and any physician knows when to draw that emotional line between personal feelings. I'd voided that contract only months ago and had very nearly destroyed myself as a result of my pathetic, debilitating desire for vengeance. My wrath incinerated that fine line, ignited the veil I had drawn over my heart since that regretful day sixteen years ago. I'd allowed the darkest and most sinful of emotions to overrule my common sense and for that I'd been punished accordingly.
It had been three months since I had killed. I'd never deprived my body of the need for the absorption of mortal essence for such an extensive period of time. In a peculiar way, it felt as though I'd starved myself of a bodily necessity, such as food or water. The immaterial side of me was shriveling and withering. Starving and screaming to be quenched. It was excruciating, the way it tore at my essence constantly, grating at my nerve endings, a pain that could be acutely described as rubbing shards of glass into my blood so that every beat of my heart sent my body reeling into a series of silent agonizing screams. The strain was starting to show. Not so much on my material form, which was capable of surviving independently, much like any other mortal. The immaterial mana was a portion of myself that I'd expanded only out of the need to restrain Saki's spell upon me and then as a tool to exact my revenge, so that I might finally slay him with my own hands. And finally be free of his wicked act, his sixteen-year stain for good. But the mana had only ever been an addition to my essence, not a necessity. I had surmised that with Tsuzuki by my side, assisting me, albeit reluctantly in barring the curse, I would be able to maintain it, at least until I had broken the guardian. I'd expected my magical abilities to become depleted as a result but had been shocked by the degree to which they had eroded already. In the cinema, I'd barely been able to lift a finger to assist Tsuzuki and as much as I hated to admit it, if it had not been for the child Pandora, I may very well have ended this evening as a pile of dust beneath the cinema screen.
I was terribly affronted by this knowledge. My thoughts troubled. If we were to be attacked again by any demon associated with this… Mitkiel, it was very unlikely that I would be capable of effectively confronting the adversary. My powers were bound to get weaker by the day. They had already failed me in this circumstance and the child had mentioned that the demon Balban was not his masters' greatest warrior. How could I be expected to protect my beloved, if my magical strength was draining away little by little? Though I knew some basic forms of self-defense, I had no natural material gifts such as Oriya and could in no way face off with a guardian, much less a demon, in the state I was in.
Though were I to march off into the night and slice down an innocent, Tsuzuki would most likely take offense. And he was in no state right then to be dealing with anything, much let alone another murder at my fingertips. He had begged me not to take Pandora's life and I had listened. I had listened because of the emotion in his voice, how he pleaded with me so I would not betray his own morals for choosing to be with me.
It was important that I resolved this issue as fastidiously as possible, so that I might be prepared the next time an attack took place. However, I hadn't ever considered alternatives to quench the mana within me. I wasn't sure there was an alternative to slaying the mortal body and then draining the essence of the soul as it fled the deceased shell. I was a vampire in that sense; a psychic sponge and it was a very particular method I had perfected over the years, in order to maintain and strengthen my immaterial essence. But my most pressing desire at hand was to keep Tsuzuki at my side and he would not stay with me if I did not prove resilient to the strain of the curse. His presence helped somewhat but in light of this little… interference I would need to be strong, so that these demons would resist encroaching on what I had so boldly labeled as my own.
Ah, dilemma's, dilemma's, dilemma's… A day in the life of Kazutaka Muraki.
I made my way carefully to the car; trying to move as smoothly as possible less I wake the now sleeping guardian. He had passed out at some point and I couldn't say that I was altogether disappointed by this development. The man had kicked and slapped and scratched and screamed when I'd picked him up and moved him away from the theater door, before then acquiring that listless vapid zombie like stare near the front entrance of the cinema. I couldn't bear to see him in either state. It was disconcerting. Not to mention what the initial tantrum had cost my already thoroughly abused body.
He made a small noise, perhaps a whimper; perhaps the wall of my ripped shirt swallowed a whispered word that I wasn't able to catch as it fell. His face nuzzled hesitantly against the material as I stopped by the passenger side of the car and gently bent my knee's to bring him closer to the ground. He made a noise of protest as I slowly slid my arm out from underneath his thighs, prompting him to stand on his own for a moment whilst my other arm continued to support him around his waist. He shook his head, eyes closed and face burying deeper and deeper into my shirt as he murmured demure complaints and tried to fit his legs across my arm again.
"No… don't let me go…" I managed to decipher from the mostly illegible garble. I could feel his weight shifting back against my body as he tried to vault off of his feet, in a ditch attempt to force me to catch him. I countered him by bending my knee's again, wrapping my arm around his calf muscles and then gently placing his feet back on the cement. He groaned. "Pick me up… pick me up…"
"Mr. Tsuzuki, I need to get the keys out of my pocket," I explained, wrapping my arm around him tightly as I searched through my pants for the keys. He moaned again as though nauseous and sank against me, forcing me to tighten my hold less he fall flat on his face. "I need you to stand on your own for a moment. Be strong. I will put you in the car once I have it open."
He looked like he wanted to cry again but didn't have the energy. Instead, I found his arms wrapped around my chest and aching back, squeezing on so tightly I wondered if the ground beneath our feet was attempting to suck him down. It wasn't difficult to see that witnessing the death of what he perceived to be an innocent person before his own eyes, had caused Tsuzuki to take temporary leave of his senses. Under normal circumstances he would be loath to hold me so dependently, to beg me to pick him up and carry him like a child. Which wasn't to say that I didn't enjoy the attention. Tsuzuki's slight body weight made the task of carrying him a pleasant one despite my injuries and having his arms around me, his voice inquiring my attention so desperately, was exquisite. But there was no true satisfaction to be derived from it. For what effort had I gone to, in order to gain such a splendid reward? There had been nothing extended on my behalf. I'd merely fought to protect my beloved, which had been a dismal attempt at best. This attention I was receiving from Tsuzuki and the attention he suddenly desired from me in return was as a result of something that had intruded upon our evening and interrupted my attempt to seduce him.
Tsuzuki had wanted me at that moment. He'd arched to my touch. He'd been breathing deeply, face flushed and lips parted with just the hint of a pink tongue peeking through at the very corner. We had been in each other's power, like we had been in the car before we had arrived at the cinema. I seduced by him and he seduced by me.
For the first time, since the moment I had laid these contradictory eyes on him, I'd gained the guardian's attraction and inspired a lust in him I'd never before had the honor to witness. Even now, so weak and tired in my arms, I desired nothing more than to swing open the back door of the car, lay him down and devour every mere inch of his perfect, delicious body. Knowing that I had achieved that passion from him that so impeccably matched my own, this evening could very well have ended with the two of us making love; the promise of a cumbersome yet erotic promise of tangling limbs, heated breaths and the sacrificial offering of a thousand kisses had consumed all my thoughts from the moment he'd arrived at my doorstep this evening. I had planned to make him mine that night.
And now… a demon who had not the courtesy to turn up itself, had occupied all of Tsuzuki's thoughts by sending one of its' minions after us and killing its' pet which had the undeniable nerve to look like that boy.
How dare it. How dare it ensnare my beloved's mind away from me. After all the effort I have put into this, it dare waste my time further?
Anger gnawed at my nerves like steel fangs, distracting to the point that I dropped the car keys twice before I managed to lift them up and press the button to unlock the doors. As soon as I heard the locks part, I put the keys away, plucked the door open and helped Tsuzuki climb into the passenger seat. His eyes were bleary as though he had no idea where he was. I snapped my fingers in front of his face, gaining his attention more swiftly then I had expected. His purple eyes shone with tears and my anger wavered momentarily at the lost, unintelligible expression. I rested my fingertips gently against the rise of his cheek and then curled them underneath the middle joint so that I could stroke him with the smooth, cool curve of my fingernails. His eyes hesitated every time my own made contact with his and as I conducted this minor act of sympathy, I watched his hands stray into his trouser pocket and touch the two small "gifts" the child had given him. His eyes teared up again as they glanced downward and he sobbed suddenly as though struck by a sudden thought. After hearing Mr. Tsuzuki's prior narration, I understand now that he had been thinking of his sister and the uncanny similarity between the handkerchief that child had given him and the one she had made for him. The one Tsuzuki had placed in his sisters' hands before her body had been commemorated to the earth. At the time however, I was not privy to this information and was merely frustrated. Frustrated and feeling quite territorial over Tsuzuki. Internally enraged that another demon had dared to make my lover feel this way. Tsuzuki was mine. It was my right alone to injure him, not that of a demon or a mortal or even a guardian. Everything flared up inside of me like an emotional welt. It was as though someone had walked right up to me and slapped me right in the face and then done the exact same thing to my Tsuzuki, daring me to stop them. Only to fade away before I had the chance.
"Forgive me," I whispered to him, not altogether too concerned with whether he was likely to forgive me or not. I knew that there were a great number of instances that Tsuzuki wasn't likely to forgive or forget; yet regardless he came to me knowing all that I had done. If he were to hold a grudge over this, then it would be just one more notch in my arm, figuratively speaking. "I apologize that I… that I hesitated when it came to helping that boy."
I half expected him to strike me but I guess the events of the evening had finally worn him done. It was a shock to me when the beautiful, weary guardian shook his head and gently placed his palm on my face, brushing aside the fall of hair that hid my irregular eye from sight. He raised his fingers and placed them gently over that eye, his fingertips supported on the rise of my brow, creating a sort of cage across my sight. Tsuzuki watched me carefully and after a moment, moved his hand down so that his fingers brushed over the scarring surrounding the socket, caressing the ugly healed skin in the tender manner I had kissed the old wounds on his wrist. It was a surprising move and I halted my breathing, so as not to intrude on anything in those perfect fleeting seconds.
When his fingers had strayed long enough, he removed them from my face and bent his own forward, pressing a kiss against the scarring. So soft and gentle was the action, that I shut my eyes and allowed myself ample time in which to fully enjoy the sensation. This tentative affection he had bestowed upon me moved beyond physical infatuation. It possessed not the reeking scent of fanciful lust, such as we had shared in the cinema only minutes ago and it did not originate from the disorientation Tsuzuki was currently being swept within the throes of.
He had a feeling for me beyond that of physical attraction. He expected something of me beyond the touch of skin and the lips that spilt passion between his own.
Adoration… nothing more than a by-product of one's infatuation. An illusion. Delusional fantasies, whimsical fairytales of no substance that were entertained by an energetic mind scribbled out in a hundred thousand novels in a hundred thousand homes all over the world.
Love. Oh yes, what a tangled web we weave indeed. Should I have ever used those words so casually when referring to my physically flawless possession? To say that he was the one that I loved, to speak those very words to him; that I may have had no choice but to destroy him because I loved him so much. Oh, the irony of it all. That I had but insinuated that he was far too lenient when it came to flouting his emotions, to accepting the faces and hearts of a dozen strangers into his heart in so little time. To allow oneself to indulge so freely in these risky, emotional dalliances entails that ultimately we shall be rewarded in a form most wondrous and strange. To receive in turn our deception, only for it to be bestowed upon us as a truth. My sacred, darling Tsuzuki, you must understand how I wanted you to die so that I might be free of my disgusting affliction. My yearning for you. My desire that now moved beyond physical attraction, beyond revenge, beyond the piercing dramatic gleam in your eyes and the intense powerful expressions on your face when I would taunt and dare you to bar me from all manner of mischief and murder.
Most could not understand how I could love him, if I was prepared to transplant Saki's body to his, ultimately killing him in order to exact vengeance that had long been denied to me. I wouldn't expect anyone, be they simpleton or genius, to wrap their head around my unique motive and how I could maintain this infatuation for the guardian whilst I had always intended to kill him.
It is simpler then you would think. What a sickening contradiction I am; denying that love has any place in human attraction whilst ever so slowly a feeling formed for this man over the slow course of a year; a feeling so strong and so intensely dominating in my thoughts that they strayed far from the physical realm of possibility, in which I firmly believed the root of all attraction was deeply entrenched. The only comparable emotion I had was my growing anticipation for revenge. Which made me realize exactly why I had fallen in love with Asato Tsuzuki in the first place. He had given me an incredible gift, a chance to fulfill a deed that had occupied my mind day and night since the brutal murder of my parents. Through Tsuzuki I would finally have my revenge.
How could I not have loved him for that? How could I ever repay him for such a gift? The only gift I could ever give to my beloved in return, was, I figured, the execution of my plan in which Tsuzuki would die along with Saki. The sorrow surmounting the guardian's soul was so great, so heavy. It smothered him no matter how hard he tried to keep that smile shining day in, day out. The strain it put on him and the tears in his eyes, always just below the surface, which would rise from the merest pinprick of sadness or disappointment. He passed through each day like a shadow, moving in and out of the Ministry, between the lives of those he had sworn to protect but never finding a place to exist, where he could be at peace with himself.
The scars on his wrist told it all. He had wanted to die but his cruel immaculate body saw to it that this would never happen. And so, my beloved was forced into the cruelest existence imaginable. He'd finally killed himself but the grief of his death brought him back as a Guardian, forcing him into an existence he did not want, where he felt as though he was not wanted in the first place. It was disgusting. In a sense, he had been raped by existence in much the same way I had been raped by Saki. We'd been forced and marked, traumatized by the situation we'd hoped never to confront again. But we couldn't shake it off. It was with us for all eternity.
I wanted to give him the one gift that no one dared offer him. The gift that was the kindest to offer to a tormented soul, but would be seen as unthinkable in the eyes of his companions, entertaining their close minded notions of self-righteous nobility. Only a murderer like myself would dare give Tsuzuki the gift of death.
We were silent together for a very long time. If I were to characterize silence in any particular way, I would classify this particular hiatus into two distinctly separate categories. Tsuzuki's troubled and mine meditative. My legs were getting tired from crouching but I didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin the peace we'd established between one another that was thought to be an impossibility until this moment had proved it wrong. Tsuzuki hesitantly raised his hand and cupped the back of my head and pulled me close awkwardly. I say awkwardly because of the position I was sitting in, not because of any hesitation on his own behalf. I shuffled closer and allowed him to press my face into his chest, my mouth tantalizingly close to the v-shaped patch of flesh outlined by the cut of his most becoming suit. A part of me was still pleased by his attire. It was only a shame that I hadn't had more time in which to fully appreciate it.
"It's all right." He said in regards to my apology. I could feel his hand stroking through my hair, occasionally pausing to toy with a few frizzled strands bequeathed as a parting gift from my old friend Suzaku. His other hand was tentatively placed on the center of my scorched back, not moving in any particular pattern. Just touching. "I guess there really was nothing either of us could have done… and I shouldn't expect you to leap to just anyone's protection."
I lifted my head a little from the warm alcove made by his chest and arms. "Mr. Tsuzuki… what you must understand is-''
"I understand," He said effectively cutting me off and coaxing my head back against his body again. I felt him rest his cheek atop my hair and he hefted a very deep, sad sigh. It was the loneliest sound I had ever heard. "I'm not accusing you of anything Muraki. That's just the reality of it and I need to start accepting that if I'm ever going to understand you completely. Some things about you I don't want to understand but this is something that I do want to figure out. Because you were prepared to die to protect me in there Muraki. Is it just me alone? And if so, why?"
I swallowed heavily and pulled away from the comforting heat of his body, clasping the tops of his arms between my hands and looking him square in the eyes. His face was still stained in places from Pandora's blood, though he had attempted to scrub most of it away. Up until that point I had forgotten that the little brat had bled on us before his death. My face probably looked like a Picasso.
"You alone." I assured him, rubbing my thumb in circles against the bicep muscle, trying to work away the tension I felt there. He was always so stiff in my presence, though unfortunately not always in the way that it mattered.
Tsuzuki did not seem flattered by this revelation. His eyes shattered, as though someone had just shot a bullet through a glass window and his loose fists balled clumps of my ruined shirt, tugging at it so insistently that what remained of my tie fell away.
"How could you say a thing like that? You barely know me and yet you are bold enough to declare that you would protect me and no other?" His pretty face was scrunched up with disbelief. "That's… awful! What about Oriya? You've known him since high school and he's protected your butt for years when most people would just tell you to take a hike! Are you saying you wouldn't return the favor?"
"I would most certainly return the favor on the off chance Oriya wakes up and decides to go on a homicidal killing spree," I stated, lifting one hand up to wipe at the drying blood on Tsuzuki's cheek. He allowed me to do so but shifted a little uncomfortably when I cupped his chin in my hand and held his face in my direct sight, so that he could not evade me. "But Oriya is a special case. He wouldn't expect anyone to die for him, let alone me. He is first and foremost noble and no one would dare rob him of his right to die."
Tsuzuki now appeared disgusted. "Well, isn't that sweet and poetic?"
I ignored the sarcasm. "My love… you cannot afford to be this naïve anymore. Did I not tell you only an hour ago that I am more demon than human? Surely you have not forgotten already? And demon's are not like humans. Allegiances are brief and not entirely dependable. Oriya is a good man and I trust him; he is the exception I make when it comes to friendships. And you… you are different."
He heard the slant I'd placed on the words and he wasn't pleased. His eyes glowed in the moonlight.
"Different?"
I ran my hand down his face in a straight line, my fingers pausing just beneath those glowing purple orbs. I could practically feel the heat of his rage emanating out from that intense piercing shine.
"Different." I repeated.
That had been the final straw. For lack of a better definition; he lost it.
I dodged out of the way quickly as he dove at me, half expecting a repeat kicking, slapping, screaming, tantrum-throwing performance just like earlier. But Tsuzuki didn't attack me. At least not right away. He staggered to his feet, suddenly keeling in the middle and retching as though he were about to be sick. When he failed to produce any substance at all, his fiery gaze turned back on me and in a flash his fists were ascending one after the other across the wall of my chest. He was trying to reach my face but I kept him just out of reach by moving backward slowly and knocking his fists astray from their course whenever they came that little bit too close. The anger on his face was so encompassing it was divine. My body starting reacting in a way I knew was inappropriate in this particular situation.
"So you'll protect me because I'm a goddamn freak?" He screeched, driving his left fist so hard into my pectoral that he actually managed to knock me off balance for a moment. I grunted as I righted myself and managed to slap away the second jab that would have otherwise connected with my lip. "You fucking BASTARD! ALL YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME IS A DEMON! A MONSTER! I despise you, do you hear me? I hate you with all my heart! Why don't you ever see a human being when you look at me? Why don't you just grab a nice handful of rocks and start throwing them at me and calling me names!"
What the? "Mr. Tsuzuki…? Where on earth is this stemming from?"
It was as though he never even heard my words. He was raging at a past, at people and actions exacted on him long ago but were now beyond his reach. But I wasn't. So I would hear him.
"There's no shame in just admitting it Muraki! Why not? No one else felt any guilt over stoning the monster! 'Hey! Let's all go throw rocks at the freak!' they'd say and then they'd chase me down until I thought I would die from… being so… tired…" He was sobbing now, his fists falling against my chest like the patter of raindrops on a tin roof. "Do you know what it does to you Muraki? Do you have any idea how it wears you down? I was like a rock that the ocean beat against for years on end, just withering away underneath the never ending tide of name calling and abuse…I was only a kid… and I didn't understand why they hated me and picked on me, just because of my eyes… because I was different from everyone else… so… you should just beat me up like they all did…"
There was a light drizzle of rain coming down from the sky. It wasn't the dramatic downpour one would almost expect in this situation but rather the steady ceaseless caress of velvet moisture, which would leave your hair a flyaway mess and your clothes wet and heavy, though you could barely feel the damage it was affording you at the time. Somehow I found this more appropriate.
Tsuzuki's eyes were red from crying and he was standing very close to me, his gaze directed somewhere far off to his left. For a while we just stood there the two of us. We stood together in the drizzle and let the beads form their tiny tears on the strands of our hair. I wanted to reach out and hold him but understood all too well that I was in a precarious compromise right now with my chosen mate. And for the first time in a long time, I didn't have the words needed to salvage the situation. I wasn't sure what needed to be said, what he wanted to hear from me. I almost wished I could have peeked into his mind and read the underlying emotions that he was experiencing right now, just so I would know what he wanted from me.
Had I not told him myself that relationships were intended to be spontaneous however? Perhaps there wasn't a right thing to say in this situation. All I could say to him was the truth.
"Fool." I whispered down at him.
I willed him to look into my eyes, to hear me and he was ever so obedient. His head snapped up in shock, his lovely sculptured lips twisted into an irregular line, the bottom lip sucked in tight between the upper and lower rows of teeth.
"What?" He exclaimed.
"Fool," I repeated but not unkindly. I laced my voice with so much softness it may as well have been a silk sheathe. "Foolish, my love. To think that I look on you as a monster."
Tsuzuki's brows furrowed. "You were ever so quick to label me as one three months ago, just before you kissed me and restored my cursed memories. Why should I not make that assumption? You've always been rather concise in reminding me of what a cold, empty, heartless bastard you are."
"Because I am the monster, beloved. I told you that I am more demon and that you are more human. By calling you a monster, I wanted you to admit that demon half of yourself into existence. Not to dismiss it. You had no idea what you were before I came along."
"I could have happily remained ignorant."
"Could you?" I asked.
Another silence. I had caught him out in a lie and he wasn't thrilled over it either. But, there appeared to be something gratifying in his defeat and not just to me either. His eyes were losing some of their angry intensity but they weren't returning to their bleak desolation either. He seemed to be taking a step back into reality.
"You are half demon, my love." I told him, cupping his angular chin in between my thumb and index finger, raising his eyes to meet my own again. The crack across my glasses was becoming irritating, so I pulled them away with my free hand and pitched them into the front seat of the car, intending to retrieve them later. Much like my mana essence however, the glasses were not a necessity. I could see perfectly fine without them. "But you are also half human. That is the physical anatomical truth, Mr. Tsuzuki. I cannot tell you that you are one more than the other. All I can say is that spiritually, emotionally, you are more human then you are demon. There is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you a freak. I was born the same way and though I did not face the discrimination that you did, I allowed myself to descend into the demonic half of my being, in order to shield my soul from painful emotions. You and I are the ultimate contradiction, Mr. Tsuzuki. That is why I would die for you and no one else. Different, not because of what you are, but because of who you are to me. Don't misunderstand. You are different because you and I are the same. The same creatures, walking two different paths that either of us could have taken. I need you to teach me all that you have learnt by walking down that path, Mr. Tsuzuki. And I can teach you what I have learnt. Maybe that way, by coming together, we can be complete in a way we otherwise could not be."
"Complete?" He asked uncertainly.
I offered an example; "In Shinto belief Mr. Tsuzuki, they say that a celestial god has two aspects of its' immortal soul: The Ara-mi-tama and the Nigi-mi-tama. The Nigi-mi-tama is the gentle half of the soul, whilst the Ara-mi-tama is the volatile half of the soul. They are independent within the one being but only by coming together, is the god complete."
Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow. "So, what you are saying is that you and I are actually a god?"
"Yes." I said without hesitation.
I don't think he realized that I was joking. His hands went straight to his hips.
"And you call me a fool." He stated, shaking his head. But he was smiling just the same. "I suppose that makes sense. I a really… disturbing kind of way." He paused for a moment and his bottom lip started trembling, his hand brushing at the v shaped cut of his suit as though trying to remove something that wasn't there. He started moving closer to me, until his mouth was a mere inch from mine. I had to restrain the urge to taste him, reminding myself that in this situation he was in charge.
Which was why I was nicely surprised by the soft kiss he left against my lips, merely a chaste brush but worth it just the same. It lasted barely a second but I kissed back regardless, rewarded furthermore by the feeling of his body pressing against mine, his head leaning into my chest.
"I'm… sorry…" He said at last, his voice the most inaudible hush. I could feel his body trembling as a side effect of the rage from before and perhaps even now from some other emotion. He lifted his head and put his mouth very close to my ear. "Please… put your arms around me."
I complied immediately, holding him tightly against me and rocking the damaged creature gently as I supposed a father might hold their child in the darkened night after a frightening dream. I was content to prolong these tender, personal moments for as long as possible but Tsuzuki pulled away much too soon, his face lowered demurely and eyes staring at the very tips of his shoes as though vines had just started to sprout out of them.
"Muraki…" He murmured, voice catching on a stray emotion and releasing a sob in the process. "We left our jackets behind…"
"Oh," I said as I looked back over his shoulder toward the cinema. I couldn't see any police but the Public Security Officials were slithering all over the place, questioning just about everyone they came in contact with. I was grateful that we hadn't been spotted yet and didn't exactly feel like pushing my luck. "I can buy you a new trenchcoat if you like."
Tsuzuki just shook his head, his face flushing at the same time. "I know it's a bother but I like that one. …" He appeared very fragile in my arms, so much so that I wondered if he would shatter should I tighten my hold. His fingers squeezed into my inside elbows and he glanced up at me hesitantly. "… but… Muraki… I can't go back in there now…"
This was likely to earn me some major points and I couldn't see the harm in fetching my own jacket at the same time. After all, most of my shirt was gone.
"All right." I told him, squeezing his arms and then leaning forward to deposit a kiss against his forehead. I was delighted to see his eyes flutter closed and that he leaned into my touch. "You wait here. As soon as I get back, we'll leave right away."
"Um… I really should give a statement to the Public Security folks." He suggested, running his hand through his hair as though this would somehow tame the wild mane. He was fighting a losing battle there. "I'll tell them that you're going in to fetch our jackets and hopefully they won't bother you with any questions."
"And if they do?"
"Say, 'No comment!' in English!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, thrusting his hand out to make a stop sign to an imaginary, inquisitive Security Official. I chuckled a little as I stripped off the charred remnants of my shirt and cast it into the backseat of the car. The blasted burnt fabric was an insufferable nuisance and hardly necessary considering that half of it had been incinerated, most probably directly into the skin of my back. I would need to take a close examination once I had returned to the comfort of my home. I offered my arm to the guardian only noticing then that the exquisitely beautiful man was staring at me in an in an amusing reticence, a faint blush wrapping about both cheeks. Ah… of course. I hadn't even entertained the probability of what reaction the shirts removal might have caused in my companion. What this convenient slip had revealed however was the affirmation of my suspicions: That Tsuzuki had become inexplicably attracted to my body. I'd noticed this unconscious magnetism when we'd first met, though I don't think even he realized how deep this insensible yearning ran. As far as physical appearance went, I had gone to purposeful effort to enforce all aspects of my form. In today's society, everyone is well aware that an attractive individual is likely to gain higher status, be it personal or impersonal. Tsuzuki however was most fortunate in that he clearly did not attend to his physical appearance as religiously as others may have. He had a natural, regal beauty, enforced by the demon's blood coursing through his immortal veins. A young, healthy, handsome body was more advantageous, which of course was the deliberate design of the genetic sub-divisional cells of the demonic DNA. It was at work in my own body also, but on a much less substantial degree then it was in Tsuzuki's.
I'd been powerfully attracted to his body from the first moment I had seen his pictures as an adolescent. That passion had only grown when I'd finally met him face to face. His captivating eyes, clean skin and sculptured contours were appealing qualities to find in a mate.
And suddenly, despite the situation, I was struck by the adamant desire to make love to him. That erotic coil seized my senses like a serpent twining through my desires and squeezing short sharp bursts of passion wherever it tightened its hold. I was powerfully drawn to him, to his body. And the residual ardor I'd experienced inside the dark theater was ever so eager to instigate its previously denied occupation. Nothing else mattered.
I had to taste him. Had to sink my teeth into his flesh, tear him to pieces and pull that hot succulent immortal blood into my throat. I had to tangle my body around his, draw my coils tight and suffocate him within the helix of my desire, watch him shudder, twist, moan and scream my name until his senses erupted with no thought other than the pale, dark wrathful creature that had taken him so completely!
I reached out for him and slid my fingers slowly around his upper arm, my thumb caressing the skin beneath the dark fabric in a rough figure eight. I heard a hitch in his breathing, which meant he must have translated the look on my face. I tightened my hold before he could react to this new knowledge and tugged him against me, straightening my back so that my upper body arched gracefully against his own as we made contact. He gasped, his long hands slapping against my chest as a means of halting his approach, only working to enthrall my senses further. Tsuzuki made a soft noise, his fingernails digging into the flesh of my pectorals, his smooth palms pressing down on my already firm nipples. I leant my face against his neck, ensnaring the smallest crease of his skin between my teeth and sucking on it, grazing the skin every so often with my tongue, drawing my arms around his strong, nubile body.
I sensed the change in his posture, his inexperience crying out for the chance to play on those long withheld desires. His arms curled up like the wings of a roosting bird, the proximity of our bodies forcing him to adjust accordingly. It wasn't like the incident on the cruise ship, where he had angled his face away from me and drawn his mouth down in a sad little crease whilst I'd suckled and nipped at the lovely line of skin perpendicular to his ear. Now I felt his surrender, his acknowledgment. Now I felt his positive reaction to the touch of my lips and his body shuddered briefly, his fingers curling up and drawing down so that they audaciously grazed across my nipple. The coil flared inside of me and I twisted my head to strike his lips with my own. Take my poison, Asato Tsuzuki. Accept my toxin within you and become my prey. Let me dominate you, let me ensnare you, touch you, taste you, devour you…
"We can't…" He drawled trying to move his face away. He moaned powerlessly as I pushed my lips on him again and he kissed me, sucking at my bottom lip, as his hand caressed the arch of muscle in my neck. "Oh… stop it… no… Please just go… go get our jackets…"
I released his warm accommodating mouth, lashing my tongue around his lips as though I were cleaning my plate and buried my face in his shoulder again. I groaned softly as our bodies rose and fell together, my teeth tenderly nipping at the crease of his neck, searching for his pulse so that I might take the proof of his existence into my mouth and possess that beating living warmth. My body wrapped around his own like a sheathe and he the sword that I would protect from all erosion as I pressed him against the car, sliding my hand into the cut of his jacket, gliding across the tanned skin until I felt it come into contact with a very eager little bud. I could have torn the teasing fabric away then, such was my desire to quell my appetite and sample the feast that was this divine, unearthly perfection. Tsuzuki yelped at my touch, his cheeks flaring brightly and nails digging into my flesh. His eyes widened as I pushed against him, my senses screaming at me to throw him onto the seats, tear away his trousers and spread his thighs on either side of me. To sate myself in what I could only imagine would be the hottest, most fulfilling velvety soft heaven I would ever experience.
"Not here… we mustn't…" He whimpered to which I only pushed against him harder, attempting to fit him into the car where I would be able to stifle his protests for good. Out of the corner of my good eye I saw him raise his hand. The blow came so quick and fast I had no time to evade it. I released Tsuzuki immediately and backed off, the erotic tide that had carried me throughout our temporary scruffle suddenly releasing me back onto very lack luster shores. The guardian was glaring at me, his chest heaving from my ministrations and his flushed body attempting to expel the inappropriate arousal I could already see starting to take effect. He straightened up as best he could, pulling his suit back into place, trying to do so with an indifferent air but stumbling awkwardly as he righted himself.
"Enough." He stated in what he must have taken to be a firm, to be obeyed tone of voice. Sighing, he brushed his hand back over his head, scooping some of the messier tresses out of his line of sight only to have them fall back almost instantly. He grimaced and then turned his eyes balefully on me, as though I were to blame for his unruly mop. "How could you even think about that after what we just saw?"
I didn't want to tell him that the sight and scent of blood had been what had aroused me in the first place. Generally, it was a socially unacceptable kink which not too many people were sympathetic too. The fire that had burned so voraciously inside of me only moments before had dwindled away to a stubborn little candle flame. I wasn't sure why I had let myself be so overcome in the first place. Usually I had such immaculate control over my craving for the dark haired creature. I was able to bind it, secure it to the limits of my own freewheeling thoughts and rein it in with the minimalist effort.
It was the curse, I realized. Saki had said it himself, the night that he had cast that disgusting cryptic plague upon my skin. Were I not to sate it, it would devour my senses. As my magical power dwindled, so too did my control over my mind and body.
What a frightening thought that was. I could not afford to let myself be bettered by this time-weathered atrocity. For the sake of this affair I had instigated with the guardian I had no choice but to concentrate all the more severely on withholding these dangerous, passionate urges, or risk impeding my relationship with him furthermore.
Tsuzuki was still staring at me, awaiting an explanation. I shook my head slightly, attempting to erase any lingering sensual urges and ducked my head, bending my back a little in order to show my remorse.
"I apologize." I said as I straightened up. I tended to spend a lot of my time with Tsuzuki, saying that I was sorry and then rescinding on it. "There really is no excuse for my actions, Mr. Tsuzuki. I don't know what I was thinking."
His brilliant eyes took me in warily, expecting this to be some misleading action in order to entice him to relax, I imagine. Of course I had based our entire reunification on this very concept but I was hoping that he would not become aware of this until a much later date. It took him a long, grinding minute before he finally released the tension from his body and accepted my apology with a jerky nod.
"I don't know what you were thinking either." He agreed, smoothing out the front of his jacket and then rubbing at the small hickey on his neck, which was taking its time to heal, I noticed with glee. "But… I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, which is more then you deserve. For now, I'll put my suspicions in that curse of yours, the one that is forcing you to relinquish a lot of your magical strength. I suppose it isn't being that gentle with your hormones either."
I'd never taken my beloved to be the brightest of men. True, he was no simpleton and he would certainly not suffer fools gladly. But he was not the most intuitive of sorts, regardless of his occupation and the length of his existence. Naïve, almost to a fault and too trusting when it came to first impressions. One might have even suggested that he was an airhead of sorts, especially if you were confronted by his jocular, cheerful personality that I very rarely, if at all, witnessed. But he surprised me at that moment. He hadn't been quick to place the blame on me but had taken into consideration the curse on my body, the reason that he had been invited into this arrangement in the first place. I was pleased by this. Perhaps he would not allow me to incriminate myself so easily in his eyes after all.
"How generous of you, Mr. Tsuzuki." I stated, drawing my lips back into the smallest smile. He nodded and then glanced momentarily at my bare chest, his own lips hitched roughly to the side.
"Are you really just going to walk in there without a top on?"
I merely smiled.
Tsuzuki fell over backwards, collapsing against the car as though he'd suffered a cardiac arrest and then lunged back at me, face flushing and eyebrows creased downward forcefully.
"You idiot! You can't do that! What the hell are you thinking!"
"What was left of that shirt was irritating my skin." I explained to the guardian, wishing he wouldn't come so close when I had just managed to wrest my hormones under control. My currently stable state was threatened once more. "I'll just be in and out. No one will notice."
"Of course they'll notice!" Tsuzuki spluttered, trying to wriggle out of his jacket like a butterfly shrugging off a cocoon. He finally tugged it off and handed it to me. "Here, at least put this on."
It was a lovely thought but the jacket, apart from being two sizes too small for me, would have only covered the upper half of my body at best. I wasn't about to go strutting into the cinema wearing what might have been mistaken for a crop top. I conveyed this thought to Tsuzuki with a raised eyebrow. He sighed and threw the jacket back on.
"Fine then. Let's just get this over and done with. This evening has gone on long enough."
I took the guardians arm, leading him back toward the front of the cinema where three Security Officials immediately accosted him. I didn't wait around for him to explain my presence and went straight into the cinema, realizing even before I had taken two steps, that this was going to be one of the most difficult tasks I had ever undertaken.
"Oh my God! There's some really gorgeous guy walking around without a top on!"
Flash!
It was the group of schoolgirls that had been so enraptured by Tsuzuki and I when we'd first entered the cinema two hours ago. They started skipping after me as I tried to sneak past the handful of security officials who were questioning some of the cinema staff, most likely probing just to ensure that they hadn't seen anything. It was bound to be hard enough getting past them, without the aid of the benighted teenage girls who were hounding my heels like the most irritating of reporters.
"Would you please not take any pictures?" I asked in what I hoped to be a reasonable and considerate manner. I got a flash of white light in the face for my trouble.
"So, was that pretty dark haired guy your boyfriend? Or your secret lover?"
"Well-"
"The both of you looked sooo beautiful together!"
"I'm sure we did-"
"Would you mind if we took a picture of the two of you kissing? Our friends would be sooo jealous!"
"I don't know if that's really-"
"I haven't seen such a good looking couple since Shuichi Shindou and Eiri Yuki hooked up!"
"Yuki who? Just who exactly are you girls talking abou-?"
"Why aren't you wearing a top? Did your boyfriend tear it off?"
I wish. "No, no, it's a long-"
"How did you get your hair to go that color?"
" I was born that w-"
"When did you hook up with your boyfriend?"
"How far have you guys gone?"
"Are you both in love? Oh, how romantic!"
"What are your thoughts on gay marriage?"
"Do you think its' weird that Ryuichi Sakuma's thirty-one and he still plays with a stuffed rabbit?"
…
Why had I promised not to kill anyone?
I tried to walk away from the group of amorous girls, only to have one throw her arms around my burnt back and embrace me in a death maul. Pain flared through my body like fire.
"You can stop harassing me anytime." I informed them. To demonstrate some sense of finality to the proceedings, I made my way towards the men's toilets. They followed me. "Anytime…" I added, my voice trailing off behind me like a withering kite tail. They continued traipsing along behind me like a line of school children following their teacher out on an excursion. I remembered Tsuzuki's words and snapped loudly over my shoulder in English. "No comment!"
The girls stopped in their tracks and their eyes bulged open with a nearly audible cartoon boing of amazement. I got the feeling I had made another tremendous error.
"He speaks English!" One of the girls squealed to the rest of them. "Hey, say something else for us in English!"
"Never tickle a sleeping dragon on the nose."
"Wow, that was awesome! Your English is very good Mr… Um…"
I had been called many things in my time, but never anything so flattering as Mr. Um. I believe my status had gone up by three points.
"Mr. Muraki." I told them, hoping that handing out my name wouldn't encourage them to look up my address and start sifting through my garbage in search of evidence from my currently non-existent sexual exploits with Tsuzuki. The girls giggled in what had to have been rehearsed unison and bowed at me.
"Thankyou Mr. Muraki!" One of the girls squealed. I bowed back, well, really just bobbed my head and turned around to make my way over toward the theater where Tsuzuki and I had been seated. One of the other girls slapped me on the back. The pain roared through me again like a wave of burning magma.
"Thankyou for talking with us Mr. Muraki! Say hello to your boyfriend for us!"
"I'll kill you in your sleep you little bitch."
"Hey, he's speaking more English! What does that mean, Mr. Muraki?"
I straightened up, counting backwards from twenty in two's and tried to envision Tsuzuki's blissfully naked body in order to keep myself from committing a senseless rage induced murder.
"It means; 'It was my pleasure and I would be delighted to say hello to him for you.'"
"Aww, you're so sweet Mr. Muraki! You have a pleasant evening now!"
"Yes, you too." I said, though I was internally hoping that they would all trip over each others giggling bodies and fall into rush hour traffic. I watched them until I was positive they were out of range and then continued to make my way back towards the theater. I stopped at the corner and glanced around.
Six Public Security Officials and two unknown individuals were standing outside the closed door, discussing something in hushed undertones. They saw me staring and the unidentified pair immediately approached; their bodies poised defensively. I waited, knowing that it was too late to sneak in unnoticed.
"Can we help you with something?" The tallest of the pair asked, running a hand through his razor edged blue-black hair. The second, an attractive, curly haired young woman, was too busy tracing the lines of my bare torso with her eyes to add anything intelligible to the interrogation.
I nodded once and tossed my head in the direction of the cinema. "My companion and I left our coats behind in that theater. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to retrieve them for us."
The young man leveled his eyes suspiciously at me. "You didn't happen to be in the cinema when the incident occurred did you?"
I nodded again. "As a matter of fact sir, I did indeed happen to witness the incident. My companion is currently making a statement with one of the officers outside. He is a guardian of death." I added, all too aware of how precarious my situation was. Public Security Officials were a branch of the Ministry that worked amongst mortal justice systems, such as a secret service one might say. They were the one's with the ability to erase mortals memories, particularly in cases like this.
"Ah, so you are privy to that information." The dark haired man said, his gaze remaining strictly focused on my face. I noticed some strange red symbols underneath his eyes, which didn't appear to be lines from weariness or natural body markings. They looked like tattoos. "What is the name of the guardian you were with?"
"That is not my business to tell you. Why not ask the official to whom he is giving the statement?"
"I'm asking you."
Oh, a smart-ass. I was becoming increasingly irritated by this overzealous suspicion. "Excuse me, but I don't think I need to be telling you anything, sir. I shall give my own statement to the same official that my companion has, if they have need of it. But I do not see why I should be questioned by you when all I have asked is if you would be so kind as to bring our jackets to us."
The young woman finally spoke, her voice husky and at the same time soothing. I could see the effect it was having on the feisty young man. "Now, now gentleman, please do not start an alteration here in the hallway." She turned her attention on me and smiled very genuinely, trying to maintain eye contact. Her eyes were miss-matched; one brown, the other green. "You may make your statement to the official that your companion has. That will be fine. But I'm sorry; we are unable to bring your coats out to you. The door is stuck fast and cannot be opened. We have tried…" She hesitated for a moment before lowering her voice even further. "- we have tried transporting inside in order to examine the scene but we are unable to move beyond the door. It is as though there's some kind of barrier blocking our magic. So I apologize but we won't be able to retrieve your garments as of yet. If you give us your name we can contact you once we have found a way into the room?"
I waved a hand, reminding myself that they'd undoubtedly run my name through a database before calling to inform me that they'd found my coat. And once they had, they'd make the connection to the serial killer who had caused them so many problems in the past. Particularly the Queen Camilla incident. I heard that had taken a lot of work for this branch of the ministry to clean up.
"Oh no, that's quite all right. I'm not hard up for clothing at the moment. Thankyou for your time."
The woman smiled congenially as I walked off, her partner staring at my face as though he recognized me from somewhere. I heard the warning sirens go off in my head and made my exit quickly.
Well, there wasn't much to be done about our coats. As fond as Tsuzuki was of his jacket, I'm sure there wasn't something out there that wouldn't tickle his fancy after some searching. It might make a nice gift, if I were to buy him a replacement. I smiled to myself as I made my way to the restroom, thinking of the beautiful ways in which I could dress him that would compliment his fine body perfectly. A wide hemmed jacket that drew in tight around the waist would do him credit. Maybe black leather, or even a navy blue. I could choose clothes for him just as easily as I could a doll and dress him up in all the best finery that money could buy. I imagined the way eyes would be drawn so mercilessly to him, dressed in exquisite and expensive garments. He was already a head turner as it was. Imagine the god I could make of him. Ah, my sweet Nigi-mi-tama. My gentle half.
I wrapped up my business with the urinal and moved over to the sinks to wash my hands. The cold water felt wonderfully soothing against the scraped skin. As I applied soap and warm water across my palms and fingers, my eyes caught sight of a bundled pile of cloth, set before one of the sinks to my right, at the base of the long bathroom mirror. I switched off the tap and turned my full attention on the black and white fabric, drying my hands on those insubstantial paper towels as I moved closer, casting the sodden tissue away once I was done with it.
Tsuzuki's trench coat had been brutally tied around my own jacket like a noose, the sleeves gripping the jacket around the lapels as though one coat was hanging the other. The symbolism was painfully clear.
Your lover will kill you for your crimes.
"Those weren't here when I came in…" I realized aloud, darting my eyes all around the silent, starch white bathroom. I was impeccable at sensing another's presence. For three months I had honed these instincts, prepared for the probability that the guardians would turn up on my doorstep. I was positive I had been alone when I had first entered the bathroom and that those jackets had not been there. For the minute or so I had been facing the urinal, someone had entered, placed the jackets down in their poetic knot of justice and then vacated the scene all without my knowing.
An impressive feat to achieve.
All the toilet stalls were open and I could see inside each and every one. There was no one hiding. I turned back to the jackets and shrugged, reaching over to pick them up off of the sink.
As my fingers touched the fabric, something cold and painful lashed around my wrist. I emitted a shocked exclamation as I registered that the touch came from the blood stained hand that had punctured through the mirror without breaking the glass. Its grimy fingers were lashed about my arm like a too tight wristband. I glanced up, stared into the place my reflection ought to be.
And saw Saki.
The vision struck mercilessly. Something tall and dressed in black, blood flowing from a hole situated in its' right shoulder blade, stumbling through the fog, in a place I didn't recognize. I followed it and entered into a graveyard. The figure weaved its' way between thousands of cracked and broken graves, all the names of which had been scratched off. I tried not to look too closely in case I recognized any of the hidden names. The dark figure finally stopped beside four tombstones, all of which titled open graves. The bloodied figure limped over to the first of the graves and stood there for a moment, as though checking the name on the tombstone. Then, without warning, it pitched forward and fell into the six-foot hole with not so much as a sound. I didn't want to get any closer but I was suddenly standing right next to the hole regardless of my initial reluctance. I didn't want to look at the name but something wrenched my eyes down to the carving within the stone.
"Saki Shidou. The Child of Infidelity. The First."
"It hurt… it hurt…" Came the voice from the hole. I looked down. Saw Saki's mouth moving.
"I woke up in Hell. I went to sleep that day. Went to sleep in the bed of pain and woke up in Hell. I didn't laugh, Kazutaka. Not when you said that I did."
"You were laughing then. Like the first time we met."
"I never laughed. Why was that all you ever seem to remember of me? I laughed with you, I laughed but only because you laughed along with me. But why did that make me so evil?"
"Because you put this thing on my body! You destroyed my family!"
The corpse tilted its' head up at me, its black eye sockets staring up emotionlessly and its mouth screeching accusations from the grave. "Stop it! Stop saying that! Stop denying it until the end! Let go of me! Let go of me! LET GO OF ME KAZUTAKA!"
"I'll never let go of you!" I roared back. "Not until you pay for what you did to me. I'll spend the rest of my life agonizing over death, over my wanton hideous desires because of what you've done to me!"
"And I'll spend all of eternity dying over and over and over again until you let go of me! Forget about the past and live a life now! Please let me go! Please let me go! Please let me go, please let me go, pleaseletegopleaseletmegopleaseletmego…"
I tried to cover my ears, to block off his prattling mantra but nothing could drown him out. His voice made its way past my hands and into my brain, spinning around and around my thoughts until I wanted to tear my own eyes out just to give them a place to escape. "I won't! I won't let you go! I'll punish you for what you did to me! For the way you smiled down at me before you raised that sword to strike me dead!"
"I didn't smile that day." He insisted. But of course he was lying.
"I didn't smile that day."
"I DIDN'T SMILE THAT DAY!"
"You LIAR!" I roared. This is a dream, I told myself. I can wake up at anytime and vanquish this nightmare. But when I tried to wake up, Saki was still in that hole staring up at me, blood pooling beneath him from the bullet hole in his back. "You're a liar!" I screamed down at him. "Leave me in peace!"
"Then let me rest in peace."
I started to kick the dirt onto his face, wanting to bury him, to drown out his words forever. How dare that long dead abomination try to place doubt into my mind! To turn this around on me. To make me the villain of the piece! I'd committed a thousand atrocities in my time but I had not become the creature that I am today without the aid of the devil who had come into my life through the evil dalliances of my father. He had murdered my family because of his fling. Because he had spawned this aberration that was Saki Shidou. Even the name told the story of the monster he was. Shidou. Shi, the same sound as in death. Saki was death. And he was the one who had brought death into my existence.
It was because of him that I was this atrocity that couldn't stave off its own animalistic carnal desires! It was all because of him! Of his smug, haughty, evil, vindictive smile!
"I despise you! I'll tear you to pieces! I'll tear you out of Hell again and throw you straight back in so I can watch you burn! Watch you burn to ashes! Then I'll sift the ashes through my fingers and laugh and cast them back into the fire, so you will burn for all eternity!"
I watched the dirt cover him. Clog up his empty eye sockets, fill his protesting evil mouth, choke him, smother him, kill him. It turned the blood around him to crimson mud. Soon, I had buried him completely. He was gone again, his voice forever silenced by the secretive earth, never to so much as pass on his whispers to me.
Three empty spaces beside his own grave. Three more bodies to be cast into the dirt for the eternal slumber. To be buried from the ears of the world.
I knew somehow that it was important for me to see. But before I could read even the first name, the vision had ended, taking the mystery of the graves and the memory of Saki with it.
A/N: If you would like to leave a review for this half of the chapter, go right ahead. If not, continue on to part 2!