Dark Adaptation

The Gift of Death: Part 2

"Muraki? Did something bad happen inside the cinema?"

I helped Tsuzuki out of the car gently. His large innocent eyes inquired an answer so inoffensively that I came close to telling him. But what was his concern over my past history? He didn't need anymore to contend with tonight. I would deal with my own issues.

"No." I replied, taping a smile across my lips as he rose out of the seat and stood beside me. "I'm just… weary on account of our mêlée with the demon. Nothing to concern yourself over, Mr. Tsuzuki."

I had awakened outside of the restroom door, insider the foyer of the cinema, which must have looked terribly elegant to anyone who happened to be walking past. Fortunately, whatever had accosted me inside of the powder room had been kind enough to throw mine and Tsuzuki's jackets out behind me. So without a second glance I had picked them up and made my way outside to reunite with my guardian. He was perceptive enough to realize that something was wrong; from the way I kept glancing over my shoulder and insisting that we make haste as quickly as possible.

However, far from the cinema now and safely back in the garage of my home, I was starting to feel more at ease. Such was my stubbornness, that I declared that nothing would ruin the rest of the evening for Tsuzuki and I. This was supposed to be our time. The night now belonged to us and should anything bother us, be it a demon from hell or a door to door to door salesman, I would happily take out my double barreled shot gun and blow a hole through their fucking head.

All right. So I was a little bit agitated from the encounter with… with what? I had no idea what had touched me in the cinema restroom, what had inspired that awful vision of a past that didn't exist. I would have to take that into consideration some other time, when I wasn't in the company of my favorite guardian, who on the contrary to my own somewhat testy state, had cheered up after speaking with the Public security official.

"They told me they couldn't get into theater at first. Said that there was some powerful force blocking the doorway. Turned out to be a complex Spiritual Seal; that's where a demon will bind an area, usually entranceways or doors, with the soul of a deceased mortal. It's difficult to remove it but they say that the key to unlock the seal is always placed at some point in the nearby vicinity and you can unlock it simply by coming into contact with it. Anyway, I guess they must have found the key because the front doors just sprang open! There was a lot of blood all over the main entrance and the walls but they didn't find any bodies. Not Pandora's not that awful windbag we fought, nothing! Which means that Pandora might still be alive, right? If they didn't find a body then there's a chance he'll be okay!"

I didn't want to suggest the high improbability of that, considering the amount of blood the child had lost already and how irate the demon had been when it had attacked him. But as long as it gave Tsuzuki hope, he was happy. And when he was happy, I was happy. It meant that he would not spend the remainder of the evening in a dreary, depressive vortex of angst. On the drive home he had held the gifts that the boy had given him and squeezed them against his body as though somehow this would make amends for the dire injuries the child had clearly received.

"You're all right… I just know you are!" I heard him whisper. I just kept my eyes facing forward, feeding him no thoughts to the contrary.

I locked the car and held open the doors in the side wall of the garage that led into the house. We made our way up the carpeted flight of stairs into the hallway, switching on lights as we went. The housekeeper greeted us as we entered the sitting room and then offered to hang up our coats. She didn't say a word about my lack of shirt, for which I was grateful.

"If it's all right…" I turned to address the tentative sound of Tsuzuki's voice as he stood uncomfortably in the doorway of the living room, hands wedged deep into his pockets. "I'd like to wash before dinner. There's… still blood on me... I feel kind of dirty."

Ah, what I wouldn't give to hear him use those words in a different context.

"Then you should bathe." I told him.

I led him towards the master bathroom and showed him inside, pointing out where I kept the towels and cleansing utensils. He seemed a little surprised that I was still standing in the doorway and had not so much as taken a step into the room.

"Would you prefer to shower or bathe?" I asked, ignoring his questioning expression and gesturing around with my hand. Tsuzuki took in the grand space of the bathroom in appreciative silence, examining the shower stall and the portable spa, which took up one corner. It was rather bare in some aspects. There were no potted plants and only two pictures were mounted on the wall. However, one couldn't deny the sheer elegance of the place.

Tsuzuki's eyes returned to rest on me, questioning silently.

"You're not going to wash with me?" He seemed confused. "I thought you would have jumped at the chance to get me naked in a hot tub."

Honestly. What blatant self-confidence.

Though the idea itself was very much appealing, I had no intention of making love to Tsuzuki in the spa. At least, not on this occasion. I wanted the moment I took him to be as tender and perfect as possible, so that he enjoyed it. So that he remembered it. Was unable to forget the pleasure we shared and would return to me in order to sate his desire for it again and again and again. If I were to bathe with him, I most certainly would not be able to help myself.

"Mr. Tsuzuki, though I would very much enjoy lying with you in warm water, I'm sure you would be more comfortable bathing alone." I told him, twisting the controls on the spa to turn the water on. It started to surge into the interior of the tub, rising higher and higher as I upped the pressure. "I can shower in the en suite in my bedroom. That way, I can have dinner cooking by the time you get out. I'm sure your stomach is at its' wits end by now!"

It grumbled as though agreeing and Tsuzuki rubbed it, looking a little bit distracted. I flashed him a warm smile.

"Though… if you simply insist on my company, I'm sure it wouldn't be too much trouble to join you-"

"No, no, no! That's quite all right!" He exclaimed, raising his arms and then crossing them back and forward over each other as though warding off my approaching sexual lures. "Thankyou Muraki. I… shouldn't be too long."

"It's my pleasure." I told him, thinking it would certainly be more pleasurable if I weren't so concerned with keeping up this ridiculous charade of false clemency. Just how much longer would I have to play at being this ineffectual Buddhist Monk before Tsuzuki consented to consummating our relationship in a tangle of physical signatures? If I was the tantrum throwing sort, I would have been stomping my foot for all it was worth and screaming my lungs out.

But alas, it was with these very sore thoughts that I left Tsuzuki to bathe on his own and made my way into the lonely en suite, where I had only days ago, washed away the memory of nightmares sixteen years young.

XxXxXxXxXx

Though not the most profoundly established cook in the land, I must confess in all honesty, that my skills are rather exceptional when I have need of them. Tonight, I had decided to prepare chicken risotto, with a chocolate sauce, owing to Tsuzuki's fondness of sweets. Once I had showered, I dressed in a comfortable pair of pants and shirtsleeves before making my way down to the kitchen and setting out all the ingredients I would require. The chicken was browning in the pan and I was relentlessly coordinating my efforts between monitoring the meat and stirring the sauce, when Tsuzuki finally made his entrance. I'd been starting to wonder if he had drowned in the spa, what from the amount of time he'd dallied in the warm water.

"Ah, so his majesty has finally conceded to slumming it in the kitchen I see." I said, glancing over at Tsuzuki and allowing myself to be momentarily appalled by his state. "Why… are you still wearing that?"

After cleaning himself of the child's blood that had disturbed him so only an hour ago, you would think the man possessed the common sense to dress in clean clothing. But no. He had pulled back on his comely, blood-splattered suit. From the expression on his face I understood that he had not been thrilled with this decision either.

"Well… what other choice did I have?" He asked hopelessly, his long dark bangs sticking in strands to his forehead. His eyes were red-rimmed. It looked as though he had been crying.

I walked towards him and placed my hand on his shoulder, distributing what I hoped was a comforting squeeze against the muscle.

"There, there now Mr. Tsuzuki. You were more then welcome to wear something of mine."

Tsuzuki shrugged and crossed his arms. "I felt kind of uncomfortable going through your wardrobe without asking your permission first. Besides… you're quite a bit larger than I am. I don't think anything of yours would fit."

"It would hang off of you certainly, but I don't believe you need be concerning yourself with how snug the clothing is at this point. It's the evening now. What's important is that you're comfortable enough." I grasped him by the hand and steered him in the direction of the sitting room where the lit fire was roaring warmth out to each and every corner. "Now, warm yourself by the fire and I'll see what I can do about getting you some clean clothes. If you feel like having a drink, there is a wine rack to your left just on the wall. You may help yourself to anything on the shelf."

"Thankyou." He said softly, arms wrapped around his body, shoulders trembling. I watched him ten times more religiously than I had been the risotto as he shuffled into the sitting room and sank down on the mahogany couch, retrieving the gifts that the child had given him and holding them tightly against his body. For the love of God. You would think the boy had been his blood brother and not some cheeky twerp he'd only met once or twice.

I gave the risotto sauce another thorough stir and then flipped the chicken breast before making a quick visit to the wardrobe in my room. I was very tempted to bring Tsuzuki the white kimono I had been wearing the night of our reunion, just for the pleasure I would gain in seeing him in such a slight garment. I reminded myself however, that Tsuzuki was not likely to appreciate the sentiment such as he might were I to bring him warm and comfortable clothing. I sifted through the clothes on the wooden hangers and finally retrieved the smallest long sleeved shirt I could find and the tightest pair of pants I owned. They were most likely going to be too big for him as it were but there wasn't much I could do about that. At least he would be warm.

I made my way back down into the sitting room with the clothes slung carefully over my left arm. Tsuzuki was seated on one side of the sofa; his legs curled up tight against his body like an animal crouched in a burrow during the coldest day of winter. A long stemmed champagne glass, correction: A long stemmed antique champagne glass, was clutched in trembling fingers, full to the brim with red wine. I looked at the bottle on the table. He had chosen a Château Peptris, possibly the rarest bottle of wine I owned.

I got the feeling he was starting to take advantage our relationship and was delighted by it.

"I'm afraid that these are the only things I own that will fit you." I apologized, holding out the clothes to him.

Tsuzuki nodded and set his glass down. "They're fine, thank you." He took the shirt and pants from me, set them down on the cushion beside him and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. I watched contentedly as each new section of tanned skin was revealed to me, whispering silent lures to entice me closer and sample the delectable body that it sheathed. Tsuzuki noticed me watching and blushed faintly. "Um… would you mind giving me some privacy so I could change?"

I wanted to scream 'NO!' at him with all the energy I could muster but as it was I had no choice but to respect his requests if he was to ever gain a higher opinion of me. Also, I had the risotto to think about.

"Certainly, Mr. Tsuzuki." I bowed my head and then turned on my heel, heading back towards the kitchen. "You just make yourself comfortable. Dinner will be ready shortly."

It was a lonely, but well rehearsed affair cooking by myself. I was worried about leaving Tsuzuki alone with my bottle of very rare, very old and very potent wine but there wasn't much I was able to do about it. Risotto required constant attention, much like a newborn child. If I wanted dinner to be perfect, it was important I stir the sauce accordingly to ensure that it did not burn. The best I could do to monitor the guardian was calling out every few or so minutes, or ducking into the room every once in a while to check the level of the wine in the bottle. I was dismayed to see it getter lower and lower, whilst the wine in Tsuzuki's glass appeared to be higher and higher each time I visited. I wasn't sure how many drinks it would have taken for the guardian to become intoxicated and I whether his healing ability would have reduced the effect of the alcohol in any way. I managed to confiscate the bottle whilst we ate, to which I was rewarded with whining and sulking and his usual agitated frown being leveled at me from across the food, even as he shoveled it into his mouth. He forgot about the wine whilst we ate and praised me highly on the risotto, licking the sticky chocolate sauce off of his fingers like a child with a dripping ice-cream cone. I indulged myself in this brief truce that had formed between us, knowing that it wasn't likely to last all the much longer.

When dinner had concluded, I took our plates and placed them in the dishwasher before returning to the lounge to enjoy one final drink with the guardian before he escaped my clutches for the remainder of the night. This time, I was pleased that I didn't need to request that he sit close to me. Possibly as a result of how much wine he had consumed prior to dinner, coupled with what he had been sipping at before I'd sat down, he had no qualms with sitting beside me, our knees touching as we faced one another. His face was dancing in the flickering light from the fireplace; the inner half of his lips quenched the same delicious purple as his eyes. We were quiet together for a long time. Only in this instance, the silence felt completely natural, as though we were old friends who had known each other for years. I felt in absolute control of my body. Of my senses, the curse and my own usually lingering emotions. Why, I hadn't even felt like lighting up a cigarette.

"Muraki, why were you so peeved by Pandora?"

I raised my brow at Tsuzuki as he stared at me inquisitorially, finger tracing the smudged rim of his glass. His eyelids were lowered to half-mast, as though he were ready to doze off in my lap.

"When he called you that nickname… Kazu… you seemed to get really upset. You went so pale I thought you were gonna fade away! And that other word… Rosebud? He seemed to really scare you! What was all that about? Did you two know each other?"

He was more observant than I thought. I had kind of been hoping that this matter could have been put aside for another time and place but Tsuzuki, numbed as he was by the alcohol's toxic effect, seemed as though he was not going to let it slide. I sighed and took a very long sip from my drink.

"No. I didn't know him. Those names… only one person has ever called me by those names." I mused, placing my hand atop my glass and then resting it against the leg I had tucked underneath my body. I leant my elbow atop the rise of the sofa and then pressed my fist against the side of my head, studying Tsuzuki from under the sway of my hair. How beautiful his long eyelashes were in the dim light. How deft the curves of his lips were. Why did he want to discuss such irrelevant long forgotten matters when there was so much to be said about the craft of his body? He was so serious in my presence. I hoped that this would change soon enough. I was tired of these trite mundane conversations. "The boy, when he spoke in that frosty manner… it reminded me somewhat of that person. But it's not important."

"It might be. Who did he remind you of?"

I felt the slightest bit jaded. My good eye narrowed and I gave him a very direct, very attention-ensnaring look. "My love, clearly you are the one whom has something to discuss. I have no more to say of the matter. I tell you, it is not important. My reaction was as contrite as the reason itself is. Why not tell me what is on your mind? I see you have not released those shabby gifts for one second since the boy gave them to you."

He glanced down at the white handkerchief and the worn stuffed bird in his lap, his eyes growing even sadder as he looked at them.

"Why not tell me what the handkerchief reminds you of?" I pressed, moving an inch closer so that our knees pushed even more tightly together. He shifted at the contact. "You said that it was…" I paused. "… alike."

His gaze dropped even lower. A tiny, hardly discernable voice fell from his lips. I had to lean closer in order to catch it.

"It was my sisters. She made me a handkerchief… just like… this one." He held it out to me as though searching for some validation that I was unable to give. How was I expected to know what her handkerchief looked like?

I placed my hand on top of his and looked directly into his eyes. "That was a long time ago, my love. It is very possible that someone else made another handkerchief that was very similar to the one your sister made for you."

He shook his head at me, already convinced to the contrary of my powerful logic. His messy brown hair lashed about his face like icy wind, batting away the words.

"No! It's not a coincidence! This handkerchief is exactly the same! Exactly!"

I squeezed his hand. "And would it be so terrible if it was the same handkerchief? So, the child has come across it and kept it for himself. It would be an amazing coincidence I admit, but hardly deserving of such upset. Now, where did you last see your own handkerchief? Do you remember?"

Tsuzuki's head sunk down even lower if that was physically possible. Annoyed by his attempts to avoid me, I moved my fingers from his hand and clasped them about his chin, pulling his face back up so that we were in perfect symmetry with each other. This was becoming a very indulgent little habit of mine, as though the beautiful man was reduced to nothing more than one of my dolls. I was all too comfortable in allowing this to become a reality.

"Mr. Tsuzuki?" I inquired softly. His bottom lip trembled. "Why… you're shaking! Whatever is the matter? Surely it cannot be such an alarming thought you hold in your mind can it?"

"I-I…" His voice trembled as surely as his body did. "I… pu-pu-p-put it i-in m-muh-my sisters hands… when they put her in the e-er…earth!"

The words crashed against my ears with solemn and volatile clarity. What was this madness that had been thrust upon my beloved now? Of all the cruel twists I had used against him, even I would not have considered such an act to drive his thoughts to the barest brink of madness. The images he must have entertained! Someone digging up his sisters' grave and opening her long undisturbed casket… prying the handkerchief out of brittle, lifeless hands… no wonder he had been so upset!

My instincts became primal and territorial once more. Someone other than me was attempting to psychologically injure my lover! I couldn't allow that! I wouldn't allow that!

"Mr. Tsuzuki… try not to imagine the worst. Don't let such thoughts get the better of you. Do you hear what I'm saying?"

He started to sob and I clanked my glass down on the table, spilling liquid from it like a splatter of blood from the body of a victim and I clasped both sides of his face in my hands, forcing him to look right at me. I gave him a little shake, knowing it was bound to make matters worse but at the same time hoping it would somehow snap him out of this awful trance he was in.

"Don't you cry now. You listen to me, Mr. Tsuzuki! Don't you dare cry for them! Don't let that creature make you cry! Don't let him have that over you!"

"But!" He whimpered, his face collapsing in on itself even as he tried to speak. "But… but it knows! It knows what I did! It knows about the people I killed! It knows I… it knows I killed her first!"

His sister? He had murdered his own sister? Somehow, this didn't sound right to my ears. This wasn't what I had been expecting of my Tsuzuki. There was no denying that he had taken life when he'd been alive but I'd always believed that to be a result of his gradual decline into insanity, a power flux that just burst out of him. Shook his body out of control and caused that massacre almost a century ago. The massacre that had been brought on by the death of his sister.

I gave him another little shake. "Killed her?" I asked carefully. I lowered my face and moved it closer to him. "You mean that she was sick, don't you? She died of an illness, your sister, didn't she? Ruka? That was her name wasn't it? In the reports I read, Ruka Tsuzuki died of an illness."

Tsuzuki's eyes shuddered with tears and I couldn't help but think it the most pathetically adorable thing I had ever seen in my life. His words didn't seem capable of forming properly. They miscarried before being born through his lips and he was forced to impregnate the meaning of the sentence before attempting again to get his point across.

"I was that illness." He insisted.

Oh. So that's what this was all about. It had not been a deliberate murder, it was another of his 'Everyone around me gets hurt because I'm worthless and evil and so forth' beliefs. Before I was able to get a handle of myself, I took the glass out of his hand, set it down on the table in the puddle created by my own and wrapped my arms around his slender, shivering body. I felt him shudder as I pulled him against me, but then he relaxed, his body hefting a very deep and very whispery sigh.

"Is this what drove you to such sorrow in the first place?" I asked, closing my eyes so that I was fully able to appreciate the feeling of our bodies against one another. "So… that's where it all began. You couldn't save your sister. She died of an illness that you thought was your fault because of what you are. You probably had no choice but to sit by and watch it take her. You weren't able to do anything. You could do nothing but watch her die."

A tear trailed down his face. I knew because I felt it fall against my own cheek and then arch down to my mouth, where I drew it inside to taste his sweet, untouchable grief. For one brief moment, we shared that single tear.

"That's why it hurt you so much. When you were unable to save those that I killed. Much like your sister, you had no power to stop me, the disease, from taking the lives of those innocents. It must have been more terrible for you than even I imagined."

His arms came around me, more softly then I deserved after reminding him of the evil I had done. His fists cupped great handfuls of my shirt and he buried his face in my shoulder, body heaving momentarily as he cried against me.

"Forgive me…" I whispered and for the very first time ever, I meant what I had said. I meant it. I couldn't explain why but I felt remorse then for what he must have suffered, watching his sister whither away and being unable to help. "I must have been your punishment then, my love. So that you could punish yourself for watching your sister die. Now you are employed in a place where you are reminded of death. And for an eternity, you will watch innocents like your sister die over and over and over again before your eyes. And you will not be able to stop it from happening. The events of your very first agony will be given to you, to punish you for what you are and what you did that evening when you took the lives of so many. And I was given life in this world, to punish you."

He sobbed against me, fingernails digging into my skin. I cupped the back of his head in my hand and pressed his face into my chest. My teeth were clenched together. For some reason I wanted to scream. I understood now what the symbolism of our entwined jackets meant, what the perpetrator had intended by tying them together.

Tsuzuki glanced up me, as though silently inquiring an explanation for my kindness. I patted the crown of his head gently and rose to my feet. "I have something for you. Wait here a moment if you please."

Tsuzuki just nodded and took another awfully large sip of his drink. I made my way back up to the bedroom, slamming my hand down hard on the dresser sill once I was hidden behind the door. I was very close to losing my temper.

Tsuzuki was inebriated. I could tell already that his reflexes were lax. His eyes unfocused. This was not what I'd had planned for that evening. When I made love to him, it had to have been without the influence of any outside inhibitors so that the blame would all be his own this time around. It was impossible to take him in this state. The alcohol had made him emotional and his distress was only unbalancing my usually unshakeable resolve. Everything I had worked toward would be ruined!

I took a few deep, relaxing breaths as I retrieved the gift I had purchased for the guardian that day. Set inside a fine red felt box, it looked positively elegant.

I made my way back down into the lounge, looking over at my beloved possession. There was only twelve feet between us but it was such an insufferable distance all the same. He could have been right next to me or a thousand miles away for all it mattered. Tsuzuki was gazing out into the light of the fire, lost I gathered, in his own thoughts. Even from that distance I could see his throat rising and falling from the intake of breath; the soft, supple skin rippling down to his collar and shifting fluidly over his shoulders like a veil of golden silk. My breath caught, tangled up as my emotions snarled my senses into a corkscrew of maddening fervor. I could barely believe I had him so close to me now, all alone in my company without the insipid presence of his tempestuous partner or the overprotective secretary. Not to mention the vapid little blonde haired whelp he'd dragged along the previous night. Here stood my desire before me, delighting me in all his smooth perfection, playing tricks with my body that even I couldn't begin to calculate.

I took another step, purposefully trying to make it noticeable and he turned to face the intrusion. My eyes strayed to the neckline that ran directly down his bare chest and smiled, pleased that he was two sizes smaller than I was and that most of the garment was sliding off of one half of his torso with every subtle movement he made.

Tsuzuki noticed the aim of my gaze and modestly buttoned the shirt up, leaving only the top button undone. I was disappointed.

"And I liked it so much better the other way," I remarked as I walked over to join him on the sofa, arching my lips into a vindictive little smile. His eyes attempted to seek me out without much success. I sighed and brought my hand up to cup his chin, raising his face to align with my own, as easily as I would adjust the head of a doll. "You've had too much to drink." I established.

"No… duh…" He whispered, his breath smelling sweetly of the wine in his glass. I took it out of his hand and set it on the small table, before pressing both palms against the outline of his jaw, rubbing my thumbs against the flesh of his skin.

"This night was meant to be perfect," I informed him not allowing so much as a drop of my true feelings to leak into my voice. The disappointment would be too harsh to bear. "I wanted to lay you down in front of the fire and unwrap you from your clothes like the priceless treasure you are. I wanted to slide inside of your body and look into your eyes. To watch you smile as I made love to you. I wanted us to touch one another and feel each second with the same passion we felt for those few wonderful, immaculate moments we shared in the car tonight. I wanted… to show how much I love you. And that you could accept this with no qualms."

This was extended to him in the palm of my hand, plucked from the pocket of my pants. The small rectangular box, slightly curved along the top and sloping downwards, seemed to frighten Tsuzuki more than my proximity did. He straightened in my hold, snapped back into reality by all the dramatic sparks the appearance of the box must have ignited in his brain. I realized his fingers were shaking as he gently accepted the gift, breath frozen in his throat and then exploding into bloom as he lifted the lid, revealing the treasure within.

The gold watch was perfect. Well, nothing else was befitting of my beloved that was for certain. It had a medium width gold band, fringed by articulate minute rhinestones and a tangle of vines carved along the entire length. Tsuzuki extracted it from the box with the tips of his fingernails, nearly dropping it as he was trembling so much.

"Do you like it?" I asked softly. Tsuzuki stared at me, eyes impossibly wide.

"Muraki… it's… it's too much! I can't possibly accept this!"

"I insist." I told him, untwining his now old watch from around his wrist and wrapping the new one about the scarring. It covered the marks even better than the previous watch had. "I would be most offended if you were not to accept this from me."

Slowly, surely aware that he was doing it, Tsuzuki placed his hand on my face, his fingers stroking down my T-zone, his fingernails raking my pale eyelashes. I exhaled deeply, feeling my stomach contort as his fingertips came to rest on my lips, tracing them as though they were the lips of gods. Hands that had hurt so many now nursed the face of another who had caused equal, if not more agony in this world; with a tenderness I'm sure he never thought himself capable of. Tsuzuki himself appeared surprised at his own compassion. He looked over my face curiously, as though really seeing it for the first time, caressing each and every point of it. I shut my eyes and angled my face down, catching his hand so that I could press a kiss into the palm. I was unable to help myself and the single soft touch became several needy and desperate kisses and I was left panting against his skin, wanting so much more but restrained by the rules I had imposed upon myself. I put my arms around him and kissed his neck, chills racing through my body despite the heat of the fire shifting against us. Tsuzuki moaned at my touch and shifted, allowing me to pull the length of our bodies together. His arms were pinned against the wall of my chest and he angled his head up, eyes sliding shut as I littered the soft, wet sacrifices against his warm skin. He made a little noise as I dug my bottom row of teeth into his jaw line, distributing a gentle nip before sucking on the mark I'd made.

"Forgive me," I murmured, sliding my hand down along his back, searching for the hem before slipping my fingers underneath to touch his long withheld skin. I could feel the ridges of his spine and I traced them with my fingertips, pressing kisses against that little spot beneath Tsuzuki's ear that I adored so much. "I cannot control my desire for you when you are near, no matter how uncouth it may seem."

I moved my face around and lowered my lips to within an inch of his own. He appeared listless and weak. And expectant.

"Would it be a terrible faux pas if I were to kiss you right now?"

Tsuzuki's expression wavered uncertainly. He pressed his lips together tightly, then closed his eyes and shook his head as a blush spread across his cheeks.

"No…"

I couldn't even smile. The moment was too perfect. Before he could so much as squeak another word, I closed the distance between us, lips pressing insistently against others that were all too willing to respond. Tsuzuki sank against me with a moan, eyes snapping open for a moment as he registered what was happening and then slowing grinding shut as though he were coming to terms with the reality and shrugging it off. He murmured against me, lower lip riding languorously across the wave of my own and a faint whimper emitted from between our mouths as I nipped at that bottom lip, requesting entrance. Tsuzuki parted his lips timorously, allowing me the chance to slide my tongue slowly and carefully into the neighboring mouth. I weaved my fingers up the front of the too large shirt, unthreading the buttons as I came across them and soothing it away from his shoulders. He blushed, this time in frustration and went to pull away from me when I placed an even harder kiss against his enticing mouth, smothering whatever diatribe he'd been prepared to hurl at me. His eyes widened as I moved my lips softly against his, releasing him after I'd run my tongue tantalizingly slowly across his, plucking at the very tip of the pink, wet muscle with the apex of my own. I'm not sure he understood the unspoken allusion I'd made there but once I had educated him, he would undoubtedly start to pick up on such erotic references.

I kissed him again, sliding his shirt down his arms and working on the buttons that held the cuffs firmly around his wrists. His face was as red as a beet, fingers fluttering hesitantly at my upper arms like physically impaired butterflies. I couldn't read his thoughts but I could read his body language. It sang out to me loud and clear. He was terrified by me. But he was even more terrified by his desire for me.

I tried to entice him to relax, placing fluttery velvet kisses against his cheek and coursing them down the length of his neck, pausing at his evident collarbone. I closed my eyes and breathed into his honeyed skin.

"I cannot tell you to not fear me," I told him, peeling away his white shirt as though it were nothing more than tissue paper. Tsuzuki's breathing escalated as it fell to the floor and my hand coursed down the long arches of his upper body, finally coming to a recess over his perfectly cut navel. "If I were to tell you to trust me, I understand that you would not. To tell you that I would not hurt you would only be hypocritical. But you must know that you absolutely enthrall my senses in a way that nothing in this world ever has before, my love. I have no desire to harm you now. But I won't ask anything else of you tonight, not after you have given me so much by your presence alone. I am content with that. You make up your own mind whether you would place your trust in my hands this evening. I won't sway your decision either way."

Tsuzuki's entire body was trembling as I cupped my mouth around his jugular and sucked firmly. I could feel the blood coursing underneath his darkened skin. His immortal life, so very much in my power. One of his hands slapped against my back, nails drawing harsh scratches along my roaring flesh like fishhooks as my fingers worked to undo the buttons on the front of his pants. His face flared. I cupped his flushed cheek in my palm and pressed a kiss into his temple, slipping the last button out of its notch and then taking a step back in order to draw Tsuzuki's eyes to my own. I kept eye contact as I pressed my hands on either side of his hips and then slid down his body, drawing the black dress pants down with me. His fingernails pressed tightly into my hair.

"Muraki…" He hissed and then stifled a yelp as I drove my mouth against the soft skin of his inside thigh, lapping my tongue in a warm circular motion before drawing it upward and pausing at the hem of his simple white boxers. I hooked my long fingernails into the waistband and tugged the snug fitting material off before the bashful guardian could protest. "Muraki!"

I raised an eyebrow at him from my crouching position on the floor. "Why so embarrassed Mr. Tsuzuki? Do you think there's something under your clothes that I haven't seen before?"

"It's… just… I'm…" His stutter was completely endearing. I climbed back onto the couch and cupped his chin, drawing him close against me.

"You haven't had much experience in these matters. That's understandable of course." I said, planting a kiss against his mouth. I managed to keep it relatively chaste, though my body was craving something far more substantial by this point. It was hard to reign in my hormones when this divine creature was placed before me with that innocent look on his face and so blissfully naked. He kept his eyes locked on mine as I lay my body out on top of his and I watched in amusement as he started plucking at the buttons on my shirt, trying to undo them without much success. His hands were shaking too hard. "Relax, my love." I took his hands and placed them gently against my chest, rubbing my fingers across the ridged joints in an effort to calm him. "Take your time. Don't rush. Be at ease with this."

Tsuzuki shivered and slowly leant up, cupping my face between his lovely hands. He raised his face so that it was leveled equal with mine and looked me over as though accessing me. His eyes traveled across my chin and he allowed his nose to trace the areas he looked at, teasing me and oh so deliciously well. He finally observed mercy and pressed his mouth slowly to mine, succulent lips tasting and touching with tentative, arousing inexperience. Whilst he concentrated on my face, I used the distraction to sneak my hands down to his waist, his thighs aligned together beneath my body. I ran my fingers up his bare leg and onto his upper thigh, where I began to methodically stroke the soft slightly paler skin with my thumb. Tsuzuki moaned through our kiss and ever so shyly, spread his legs apart, enabling me to clench his thigh with my entire hand, alternating the strength of my massages between my fingers and palm. I sighed heavily, closing my lips so that I caught his own and drew on them, forcing the kiss to linger. Tsuzuki's index finger started stroking the hallow of my neck as my hands traveled up his thighs and down underneath his buttocks, lifting them off of the sofa and pressing his pelvis more forcibly against my own. His arms came around my neck as we kissed and little moans and gasps were falling from between his lips as I traced the divine slope of each buttock, running one finger teasingly through the indent between each but veering away before I glanced upon his virgin entrance. I moved my spare arm beneath his neck, lowering him back down against the soft cushions as we stared into one another's eyes, panting and void of even the slightest smile. The moment was much too passionate for smiling.

"Darling," I said. The word took me by surprise. I never called anyone 'darling.' It was such a horrid, false, patronizing title. Yet somehow, it seemed befitting when applied to Tsuzuki. And I needn't concern myself with the title 'Mister' either, which was a most refreshing change. My lips brushed up against his and I crooned for the mere delight of it. "Enough with all the words and the tears and the anger. Enough with the angst and the sorrow and the pasts we keep running from. Let us leave it all behind us. Let us make love and forget everything else but what we feel when we are warm and secure in each other's arms. Let me kiss you… taste you, touch you, make love to you…"

"… All right…" He whispered back.

…..

All right?

I drew away. "Mr. Tsuzuki…?"

He shook his head, arms tightening around my shoulders as he pulled himself up with me. "No, no, no, no, no, no…" He scolded, placing a kiss against my mouth and sighing as he nuzzled my neck. "No, no, no… call me what you called me before. Call me… darling."

Oh dear. "You're more drunk than I thought." I established, trying to untangle his arms from around my neck and get off of him all at the same time. I'd let my hormones get in the way of my common sense as per usual. Last time my flimsy emotions had allowed me to be stabbed by the very creature that was now twining about me like an amorous monkey.

I couldn't take him in this state. He would hate me for it once it was done. Would accuse me of taking advantage of him in his drunken euphoria. Which I had somewhat done already. I could not take any more of him, no matter how much I may have wanted to. Tsuzuki would never have agreed so readily to make love to me if he had been sober. And he certainly would not have begged me to call him darling, unless of course he was somewhat more comfortable and familiar with me. And we were not there yet.

Tsuzuki started ravenously tearing at the buttons on my shirt, popping one or two off of the material in his haste to touch my skin. He pushed his mouth on mine again when I raised my hands to stop him.

"No… no don't tell me you don't want me. If you don't want me then… then who the Hell does?" He pulled the halves of my shirt apart and placed his hands against my chest, stroking down across my pectorals, pinching at my flat nipples and roughly twisting them. He really was drunk. It was a nice sensation but the flimsy work with his fingers almost left me bleeding. "See? Doesn't it feel good?" It was more a plea than a question. "You said you wanted me. That's what you've always said. You can finally have what you want."

"So that you can forget?" I asked, perhaps a little cruelly.

He stared up at me, not understanding.

"You don't want me," I explained pulling his hands out of my shirt. "You're just trying to forget what happened with that kid today. Trying to find a way to stop feeling so bad about everything you've gone through, everything that has made you cry. Is that how you want this to be? You want to make love with me right now because you want to feel better?"

"Muraki…" Tsuzuki whined in a way that said I wasn't supposed to be asking questions. He tried to kiss me again but I avoided his tempting mouth.

"Do you really think this is going to make you feel better in the morning, when you realize what you've done? Who you have been with? I'm sorry but I won't let you get rid of me that easily. I will not let you regret anything that we do, Mr. Tsuzuki. I will not have you blaming it on anything. Not on me, not on how much you had to drink, nothing. You will come to me as your complete self and I will not have you hate me because I took advantage of you when you weren't thinking straight. That will be your punishment. You can't escape me, Mr. Tsuzuki. Even by giving me something that I want and something that you think you want right now. Here," I picked up the borrowed clothes from the floor and placed them gently in his hand. "Get dressed. I'm going to stand up and turn my back on you in order to calm myself down. Then I am going to get you a very tall glass of water."

I could feel his disbelieving stare burning into the center of my back as I got up and faced away from him, trying to ignore the aching throb between my inside thighs as he grudgingly changed back into his clothes. A part of me was screaming at the rational half, questioning why I hadn't sated myself in the fulfillment I had always dreamed of, when it had launched itself virtually into my lap and agreed to make love to me. True I had asked him but I had underestimated just how drunk he had been when I had spoken those words. I too had been intoxicated. Poisoned by his presence and the simplicity in which we had been able to touch and caress in the passion of new lovers who had no reason to doubt or hate or suspect one another of anything.

But, I knew very well that in the morning he would be the very same man who did doubt and hate and suspect me. Whilst a part of himself clearly desired me, there were too much incriminating emotions at play and bedding him in this state, at this point, would have only damaged him further. Not only would he hate that he had been unable to save Pandora, hate the cruel little reminder of his past but he would also hate himself for being so weak against my advancements. He would label me as the villain. But he would title himself as the all too willing participant in my crimes.

I looked over my shoulder to see that he was fully dressed. Drunk as he was, he continued to glare at me, face flushed from the embarrassment of his advancements being spurned. I approached him slowly, hands leveled at my sides.

"What's… so… wrong with me… that even someone like you… wouldn't want me…?" He asked in that slow, overly deliberate manner drunken people enforce to cover up their sliding grasp over comprehension. I cupped his face in my hand and angled my body closer, so I could see into his eyes.

"You are incredibly naïve, oh beautiful one." I said. I kissed his forehead and straightened up, turning away quickly before he lured me back down onto the sofa again with that confused and adorable expression. "I'm going to go get you that glass of water now."

I took the wine with me, though I knew there was no reason to. I poured him the glass of water, though I knew he wasn't going to drink it. And I took it into the lounge room to him, even though I knew that it was pointless to do so.

And by the time I came back, I still said what he had wanted to hear, even though he was gone by then.

"Darling…"

-EC

Watari: Aww, Tsuzuki! You went em-scray on Muraki-ay!

Tsuzuki: Yeah… well…he was tickin' me off!

Watari: Why? Because he wouldn't give you a check-up?

Tsuzuki: (Blushes) Watari, don't be gross!

Watari: You were the one who got naked up there, not me!

Tsuzuki: EXCUSE ME, but I was DRUNK! What's your excuse for having sex with that anonymous middle-aged git before you left for Kyoto?

Oriya: What?

Watari: (To Tsuzuki) I told you never to bring that up near Oriya!

Tsuzuki: This story is all about us telling the rest of the characters what happened at certain points before the situation occurred in the first chapter, so technically, he already knows!

Oriya: Oh yeah… so I do… (Looks up at content of chapter and groans) Dammit NaPap! This time you've gone too far! Look how long this damn chapter is!

NaPap: I couldn't help it! I had a lot that had to be finished in this chapter, so that I could keep on schedule! You and Watari are in the next chapter. I had to thoroughly sate the Tsuzuki/Muraki fans so that you guys get equal attention now.

Watari: Yay! Ori and I finally get to be back in the fic!

Oriya: And you had better not complain any more about not getting enough reviews, NaPap. Look how many you got for the last chapter! (Holds up reviews)

NaPap: (Counts) 27?

Muraki: Now, how many people did you have to bribe to get that many reviews?

NaPap: (Has already passed out from sheer joy)

Watari: (Pokes her with a stick and suddenly notices readers and flashes a 'V' sign.) Hello readers! Today is annual "Man Muraki feels like a Woman day!'

Muraki: It is not.

Watari: And in honor of "Man Muraki feels like a Woman day", we, your ever loveable and dependable Dark Adaptation stars would like to invite you, the readers, to participate by concocting your very own original tribute to Muraki at his most womanliness!

Muraki: No we wouldn't.

Watari: Ah, don't mind him. He's just crabby because NaPap forced him to refute Tsuzuki's advancement in the above chapter.

Muraki: I hate NaPap. I will kill her in her sleep, just like the fangirls that she based off of her friends and threw in the fic to torture me.

Watari: I think Olive-chan was the one who slapped you on the back, wasn't it? (Sighs) Phew, this was a long chapter, ne?

NaPap: (Passes out and starts snoring away, a half eaten brownie clutched in one hand)

Watari: She's exhausted. So am I for that matter, but keep checking in because coming up soon will be Chapter 12 where we tune back into the Kokakuro where I try my hand at being a waitress and Oriya tries his hand at being sexy! Will we succeed? Find out next time in Dark Adaptation!