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Chapter 2

Absently, Horatio sat in one of his chairs outside on his patio and stared at the sea. He had no recollection of driving to his beach house, but yesterday he had arrived here. All he knew was, that he had gotten into his car, had started the engine and drove away. He didn't even know if he had had an accident or not, just the fact that there was neither damage nor blood on the bumper, told him that he hadn't.

To be honest, he didn't care at all. All he wanted was to forget. Forget everything. Who he was, where he was, why he was here…he didn't want to remember those things. He wanted to be alone, he wanted to stay here, and he wanted…Marisol back.

A sob erupted from his throat and quickly he took another sip of some kind of liquor he had found in the kitchen cabinet, among other alcoholic drinks. He didn't want to feel the pain, but make it vanish with a lot of alcohol.

Again he took a sip and started to feel tired. Good. The only time he had found some sleep had been yesterday night, when he had passed out after drinking a whole bottle of scotch. Sleep didn't come easy, never had actually, but now he needed sleep desperately, to escape reality.

Broken. That was the first word that came into Eric's mind when he saw his brother-in-law sitting on the patio when he walked around the house in order to find a way in, because the front door was locked. "These days every one of us is broken," he thought sadly while he was standing on the white sand, not knowing what he should do or say to the motionless figure on the chair. The last days had been like living in a haze. His parents and his sisters had been crying all of the time, including him. But what had hit him the hardest was the fact that Horatio had ran away. Not caring for his newborn child.

Eric squinted with his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he started to walk again, taking the few steps upon the patio. Quietly he sat down next to his boss, colleague, friend and brother-in-law, letting his gaze wander around the deserted beach. Since Horatio hadn't been at home and hadn't answered his cell-phone, there was only one place the team could have think of where he would hide. It had taken a lot to convince Alexx to let Eric drive out there. This was a family thing, even if Alexx was the mother hen of their team.

After a few seconds, Eric said, "It's time to go home." Still, he didn't look at Horatio, giving the man a bit of privacy. "We're waiting for you, so is your daughter."

Horatio didn't even consider the idea of talking to Eric. Instead he just shrugged and played with the bottle in his hands. There was no place called home. There was just a space of emptiness. This was everything that was left. Emptiness. Loneliness. Sadness. Pain. And the question of why.

Getting no response, Eric sighed. "Look, we all know it's not easy," he said quietly, leaning back in the seat. "But you can't hide forever. There are a lot of things you have to take care of."

"Leave," he said quietly. He didn't want to see anyone. That's why he was here, he wanted to be alone. Just him, the beach, the sea and something that made the pain go away, something that filled the hole inside of him.

"And then?" Eric replied, not surprised by Horatio's stubbornness. But he had a mission and didn't want to fail.

"Never come back again." With that, Horatio took another sip and closed his eyes.

Eric shook his head. "That's not what I meant."

"But I did," Horatio grumbled. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to have any conversation right now.

"I won't leave. Not without you," Eric clarified, facing him. Then he added, "The...wake...it's the day after tomorrow. We are waiting for you." He used the same words as before. "It's your duty to be there."

Once again Horatio shrugged. He didn't care about duty. He didn't care about the others. Couldn't they understand that he wanted be alone? Was it so hard to understand?? "But still, I won't. Go, Eric. Just leave me alone," he told him and didn't even bother to open his eyes.

Eric got slightly agitated. "You're her husband, there's no question for you not to go there. Marisol...," he hesitated, because it still hurt to say her name, "…didn't deserve that."

"No she didn't deserve to die," Horatio raised his voice, and looked at his friend with piercing eyes. "She didn't deserve to die after all we've been through. She deserved to have a wonderful life. And I don't deserve to be a widower. But I can't change it, Eric! You can't change it and now clear off!"

Biting his lower lip, Eric thought for a few seconds and then stood up. "With all due respect, but you're an idiot. I can think of some even nastier words but I don't want to use them. All Mari wanted, was to have this baby. Her baby. Yours. She gave her life for Elena. And all you can do is run away and drink. Maybe it's better if you don't come back at all. At least we are caring for the little one." He knew these were harsh words, but he had to say this. Slowly he walked to the railing, feeling the wind on his face. "You didn't even take a look."

He could only repeat his demand with a cold voice. "Leave Eric and never come back." With that, he stood up, swayed till he found his balance and entered his house. As good as he could he closed the patio door behind him with a shut and walked to the couch. There he let himself fall onto it and the moment his head hit the cushion, he passed out.