Title: Snape's Revenge
Rating: K
Summary: Voldemort makes Snape Headmaster but when Voldemort tells him who will be Muggle Studies Professor and Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor Snape has his own ideas on who would be perfect for the positions. Guess who comes to Hogwarts?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, they all belong to J.K Rowling, but I do like to play with them.
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To notwritten: Thanks for your review.
To attyfan: Thanks for your review.
To eternal vampire: Thanks for your review and I shall have a good night.
To JWOHPfan: If I made a mistake in my writing them I'm sorry. I'll pay more attention in the future. Remus and Tonks are his biggest supporters and where there when he was at his trial.
To CYMKK09: Thanks for your review and he's not bared from Hogwarts as we all know that Minerva would have something to say about it.
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Chapter 9: Getting Back At Rita and Umbridge
The news that Snape had been removed from Hogwarts as Headmaster didn't run well with the Hogwarts staff, which all knew what Snape had done and the real reason behind it. Remus and his wife thanked Snape for saving the entire Wizarding world from a horrible final battle and saving them from being deprived of the right to see their son being born. Snape at once set up for Flitwick to take over as Headmaster until it was safe for Minerva to return.
"I'm sorry to see you going, my boy," Dumbledore said as Snape packed up.
"I know, but at least I know that I can run a school," Snape told him. "That was something that I needed to find out if I could."
"So what are you going to do now?" Dumbledore asked.
"Move into a flat in the Leaky Cauldron," Snape said, "Until I can find a more permanent place. After that, I don't know."
"Well you take care and remember that you'll always find a place here if you ever need it."
Snape nodded and then went looking for the cats. Koko wasn't talking to him because he had been gone for a long time but Yum Yum seemed to understand that it hadn't been Snape's fault. He finally found the cat under the bed and he pulled him out. Getting him inside his carrier turned out to be easier said then done. It took him five minutes of work before Koko got in, joining Yum Yum. Filch was waiting on him with his things and he patted the old caretaker on the shoulder and then loaded his things into his car.
None of his former Slytherins were waiting on him as he pulled out but a couple of the Gryffindors waved at him and he was surprised to find that one of them was Neville Longbottom. He waved back and the enchanted car drove away, never to return. One of the plus's of living at the Leaky Cauldron was the fact that they took animals. He paid for one months rent, something that he had never done in his life, and then was given his key.
He unlocked the door and placed his cats inside and then went down to get the rest of his things. When he returned he saw an owl waiting on him, a letter in its beak. He closed the door and then took the letter from the owl. He opened it and read:
Mr. Snape,
I would like to welcome you to the Daily Prophet staff and I'm sure that you'll be looking forward to whatever assignments that I place you on. However we must insist that you run a story, of your own choosing, to give us an idea of what kind of reporter you shall be. If it's good enough then it might be on the front page.
Sincerely,
Daniel Whitehorse,
Editor
Daily Prophet.
PS! Please have your story with you when you report into work
She put the parchment down and then checked for any place that might prove to be a temptation to two determined cats. Once they were out Koko raced, like he did in the Headmaster's office and Yum Yum mourned the loss of her teasing subject by yowling at her highest volume. There was a knock on the door and when Snape opened it a man stood there.
"Can you tell your filthy cats to shut up," he snarled.
"Sorry," Snape said and then closed the door. He turned to Yum Yum. "Stop it before that man breaks my face."
Yum Yum seemed to understand and stopped.
For the next couple of days Snape tried to figure out exactly what he could write that would give his new boss a general idea of how he worked. Finally his brain hit on a witch, and not just any witch. He chuckled and took out a piece of typing paper and started to type up a piece about Rita Skeeter. Oh that witch was going to get her just deserts and he was sure that several people would be very happy.
On the first day that he was to report into work a Ministry official came over to check out what Snape had in his boxes. When Snape first met this man he looked like the kind that he use to teach. He wasn't an Auror, which meant that he didn't have the brains to do things that were complicated. Maria was with him so Snape knew that his rights would be protected.
"And what's this?" the man asked, showing the potion that Snape had totally forgotten that he still had.
"I didn't know that I still had it," Snape said. "That was the potion that I was forced to brew while Tom was alive."
"Likely story," he said. "That's a mark on your record. I better not find anymore or you'll be in plenty of trouble."
However he searched more and found nothing else. He then bowed to Maria and then left.
"Stupid git," Snape muttered.
"I know but you have to do things their way," she said. "So where are you going today?"
"Work and I think that I need to add something else to this paper," Snape told her and got back to work.
In the end he wrote not only about Rita but also about Umbridge. He planned on to list all the crimes that she was guilty of and the vision of her in Azkaban was enough to make him skip to the Daily Prophet. The Daily Prophet was located not too far from Weasley Wizard Wheezes and several people were coming out. He opened the door and stepped inside a shabby entrance hall.
A sign read 'ring for service,' and he rang it once. Soon a stocky woman with short brown hair and blue eyes appeared. She gave Snape a smile and then asked his business.
"My name is Severus Snape and I'm here to see the editor," Snape told her.
She checked a ledger and then motioned him to follow her. She opened a door and he followed her down a row of bright blue desks and into a back office. She knocked twice and was told to enter.
The man that was on the other side of the desk looked very familiar and when he jumped up and shook his hand he know knew exactly who he was. Daniel Whitehorse had been a transfer student that had been sorted into Slytherin. He had arrived during Snape's first year in teaching.
"Hello, Severus," Daniel said. "Good to see that you stayed away from Azkaban."
"It was only by the grace of God that I stayed away," Snape said. "So how are you doing?'
"Well," Daniel said. "My Muggleborn wife is returning and she said that it's all thanks to you. I was the one that convinced the Ministry that I could use someone like you, someone willing to do anything to get to the bottom of things. Most of these reporters trick their way into finding the truth and look worse for it."
"I can imagine," Snape said. "I've got the story that you wanted a little piece of sweet revenge for two people that I can't stand."
"Let's see," Daniel said and took the paper.
He looked it over and then chuckled. Finally he asked. "This quill that you mentioned," he said. "Why would anyone use this on another person?"
"Because Umbridge is sick," Snape told him. "I know this quill very well and I think that the Ministry, despite what they almost tried to do to me, should have Umbridge assets taken away. I'm sure that Miss Granger would like to be repaid for all the blood she loss due to that thing and I've written that the quill should be considered dark magic just by the very nature of the thing."
"I see that part," Daniel said. "Well this is very interesting and I must admit, gutsy. However I also think she should be placed in Azkaban."
"Oh after this comes out I've got a feeling that she will," Snape said.
"Very well, I'll print…as is and you get paid for writing the story," Daniel told him.
"Thanks," Snape said as Daniel wrote out on a piece of parchment Snape's pay.
He took it and then left.
He headed off to Gringotts to get his pay cashed and when he arrived he saw Draco Malfoy standing there. He knew that Malfoy had gone back to Hogwarts after he had been released but what was he doing out of Hogwarts? Snape waited until a goblin took Malfoy away and then Snape approached.
"I'm here to cash in my pay," Snape told the goblin.
The goblin took the parchment and handed him a sack of galleons. Snape had several of them changed into muggle money and then left.
He got some food for the cats, which had all their favorites; salmon, shrimp, and some veal. He then headed back to the Leaky Cauldron and didn't say hello to Tom when he passed. Upon arriving back to his flat he noticed a letter waiting on him. He placed the bag on the table and saw Minerva's handwriting. He opened it at once.
Severus,
I'm so sorry about what happened to you, being almost sent to Azkaban and everything. Madam Pomfrey is treating me well and I thank the Gods that I'm not showing yet. I've been thinking a lot about you, and even though I don't know what to make of the fact that I'm thinking about you a lot, I'm glad that you're safe. I also don't care what Potter, Weasley, and Granger think about you and I'll defend everything that you did.
Sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
PS! Tell the cats that I said hello.
"Minerva says hello," Snape told Koko and Yum Yum.
The next morning a pounding on Snape's door caused Snape to wake up from a wonderful dream of Umbridge being in Azkaban surrounded by hundred's of Dementors. Groaning, and wondering who would wake him up from such a fantastic dream, he made his way to the door. Opening it he saw a very angry Rita Skeeter.
"YOU DID THIS," she screamed at him. "YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!"
"What are you talking about, you screaming woman?" Snape asked.
She shoved the Prophet in his face. "I'VE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE DAILY PROPHET. I CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE STORIES NOW THAT MY SECRET IS OUT. DID YOU PLAN THIS WITH THAT LITTLE TWIT, GRANGER?"
He read the first line and grinned.
"Stop that grinning," she hissed. "This was yours and Granger's idea, wasn't it?"
"I have no idea what you're even talking about," Snape told her. "Now leave before I have you thrown out."
And he slammed the door to keep her out and to keep the cats out.
After he had fed the cats and then had his breakfast brought up he looked at the first article that he had written. It had made front page, which meant that everyone would be reading it.
The Nasty Truth About Rita Skeeter and Umbridge
Written by Severus Snape,
Daily Prophet Reporter
During my time as Potions Master, then Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and finally a temporary Headmaster, I've met plenty of people that I would consider fowl and evil. However none more in the evil department then Delores Umbridge, the toad-like, cat-adoring, pink-loving, vomit-inducing sick Ministry employee. Her actions not only as a Ministry employee, which includes sending Dementors after Harry Potter, causing him to do magic, but also the attacks that she did while she was Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.
This includes using a Blood-Ink Quill. A quill that is border-line dark and uses human blood instead of ink. She used this not only on Harry Potter but on any student that she wished to find out information. She also threatened to use the Imperious Curse on Harry Potter in full sight of Hermione Granger and several other students that were part of Dumbledore's Army. Adding her involvement in the Ministry when it was taken over by Tom Riddle, other wise known as You-Know-Who and the Dark Lord, and his servants I believe that these actions require time in Azkaban.
Getting away from bad memories as most readers do have about Umbridge lets focus our attention on Rita Skeeter, my fellow Daily Prophet co-worker. It is common knowledge with Hermione Granger that she's an unregistered Animagi, or a wizard and witch that can change into an animal at will. She can change into a beetle. She used this form to get dirt on Harry Potter and publish unflattering things about Hagrid, who's a good soul and a wonderful Deputy Headmaster. People must be warned that it's people like Rita and Umbridge that causes problems. Rita did it to Dumbledore with her unflattering writing about the Warlock Convention and what he had said.
She wrote a very unflattering book about Dumbledore, after his death, knowing that he couldn't defend himself. Rita is a sick woman that needs to be told her place and I hope that anyone that reads this will find themselves in agreement with what I've said.
"Well what do you think about that?" Snape asked the cats. "Good story?"
"YOW!" Koko answered.
"Then I'll take that as a yes," Snape told him. "Now I wonder what Daniel will have me doing next."
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"Excellent responses," Daniel told Snape when he reported in for work. "I got a letter from Mr. Potter and he said, that despite all the crap that you put him through, that he didn't know the quill was border-line dark."
"I'm glad he learned something new," Snape told him.
"Now, I've got something for you that I think you might like," Daniel told him. "Our last guy passed away and there's a deep interest in the subject. So I'm having you take over until we can get you something that's more down your alley. Do you want it?"
"Sure, as long as it's not something connected to women," Snape told him. "I've seen enough women problems to last me a lifetime."
Daniel chuckled. "Don't worry; it's not anything like that."
"Then what is it?" Snape asked.
"The art beat," Daniel answered.
At once Snape had visions of the fat people and there horrible paintings. He shuttered to think of what horror lay in this one.
"Um, why am I being assigned to do this?" Snape asked.
"Well you did such a good job when you were Headmaster, overseeing things, and I'm sure you had your opinions."
"Oh I had them alright," Snape commented, thinking of the horrible painting that had been painted by Violet Violence.
"Well I'm sure you'll do a good job," Daniel told him and he pushed Snape out of his office.
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A/N: Well that's something.