Chapter 3. Just Roll With The Punches.

One whole "Jake's famous Georgia moonshine peach", three cups of jungle Juice, five beers, and out drinking Seth in a game of Tequila shot death match; I was pretty fucked up. I was standing in the back of Embry's truck clutching my shot gun, and his Roll bar screaming like a banshee, while he skidding back into his "parking spot" in the north west of the field.

"Shit B, I am sure going to miss your crazy ass….who else will shoot coons in the back of my truck, while I four-by through the woods?….who else is going to make Seth play Tequila death match, and actually beat him, then use their own Hair tie to tie Seth's hair back while he pukes?" He began laughing as he walked to the back of his truck.

"Stop getting all mushy Embry, or I'll have to kick your ass!" I said as I handed him my shotgun and hopped out of the bed of his truck." and where the Hell is Jake….he missed my sweet ass shot….that one was for the record books!" I said while grabbing Jessica's beer out of her hand and walking towards the bonfire, she shot me a dirty look and I just flipped her off.

"I know it was so fuckin awesome, I bow down to your greatness B…you are the fuckin coolest person I know….you are so fuckin awesome, it's hard to remember you're a girl sometimes….oh yeah, but then I am reminded once again you are, when you take off your bra and fling it at Newton's head!" Embry stopped walking and was holding himself up by leaning against someone's truck.

"I know…hahaha….I hate that guy…haha he is such a douche!….did you see his face…it turned purple….ha! Fucking Purple!….maybe I should get my bra back though….haha…he is perverted….who knows what he will do with it, hell he is probably making love to it…..maybe I don't want it back….haha" I was now using Embry to hold myself up while laughing.

Once we both could handle walking again, we stood up and continued walking towards the bonfire. On the way some people we passed would clapped and congratulate me for my record book raccoon shot, some started making fun of Newton's purple face, some just hooted and hollered, in our direction. Finally we made to the bonfire and I looked around for Jake.

I finally caught a glimpse of him, he was politely trying to push Leah's drunken body away from his. I nudged Embry and pointed towards Jake, as soon as Embry saw Leah and Jake, he began laughing all over again. Embry's laugh was loud enough to draw Jake's attention, he glared at us and then shot me a pleading look.

"I think he needs help B." Embry continued to laugh.

"Yeah, I know, how much longer should I let him suffer….this shit is funny"

"Well he looks like he is about to cry…..wait till she tries to kiss him…then go help him" Embry started shaking in laughter.

"Oh, that would be mean!….but funny…ok I give it a few more minutes" I began shaking with laughter, joining Embry.

Finally Leah, grabbed for Jake's crotch and I decided not only had he suffered enough, but her smutty nastiness was stinking up my party. So, Embry and I started over towards them, Jake's face brightened with pure happiness. Once I approached them Jake look so relieved, it brought on a whole knew round of laughter from Embry; Leah was oblivious to our arrival and continued to claw at Jake.

"Leah fucking Clearwater, the slutiest slut east of the Mississippi, tsk tsk….if I were you I would step away from the sexy muscled Indian, and go straight to church….you have A LOT of repenting to do missy", I said in a sickly sweet voice, while I had the most disgusted look on my face.

"Isabella Swan, the girl who wished she was a boy….you are just jealous that Jake likes looking at a real woman….and wants a Lady instead of a tomboy" Leah said as she turned around to face me and glare.

"Yeah….wow….are we in third grade….I think you used that same line back then, you should really worked on some new material….and I don't wish I was a boy…I just want to be better at everything that boys do….oh and by the way….I am…as for you being a woman…well…..a woman you may be….a REAL woman? Pfffft….Yeah right…..and Lady….fucking never…that must be the one and only thing we have in common Leah……" I began to snicker to myself, while her face turned bright red.

"I think you are a Lady B, but only when you want to be…..not to mention you have to hottest body of any girl around…and-"
"I think she gets the idea Embry…keep it in your pants" Jake said while winking at me. I was of course started blushing, did he have to mention my "hot body"?

"Leah?….me and my hot body say you should go home (giggle and wink at Embry)….I think you have had too much to drink….and well…. if you keep running your mouth or you keep grabbing at Jake's "manhood"….. I am going to be forced to kick your ass……your dad asked me to stop beating you up last week…again….so please don't make me embarrass you or break a promise to your father…..again (grimace)…., I am only giving you one warning….walk away now, don't say another word." I pleaded her with my eyes.

"Fuck you Bel-" she got out before I punched her straight in the nose.

"WHAT?" I asked innocently. Jake was kneeling by a knocked out Leah, looking at me and shaking his head.

"Dude you laid her out! Hey everybody B, just knocked Leah out cold!" Embry was laughing and yelling. A crowd surrounded us, all wanting to get a look at Leah's lifeless body. All the sudden Emily was at Leah's side and began to yell at me.

"Bella! What did you do? Why do you have to be so mean? You promised Harry you would stop beating her up…..what the HELL?"

"Hey I told her to leave and gave her a warning….she is the one that ran her mouth….not my fault she is too dumb for her own good….maybe her and Newton should get together", I said and then shrugged. I was already getting bored of Leah, when she woke up.

"Leah…sweetie?…it's me Emily, lets get you home" Emily said while helping Leah off the ground and grabbing Jake's T-shirt that he offered for Leah's bloody, probably broken nose.

"Bella punched me Emily, she just punched out of no where….why would she do that?" Leah was holding Jake's shirt to her nose and lying through her teeth.

"Leah, if you want to continue to lie, I'll break something else"! I threatened through clenched teeth.

"Bella, leave her alone…we all know she brought this on her self…hell even Harry knows she brings it upon herself…but couldn't you be like any normal girl and just bitch-slap her….geez?" Emily asked with an annoyed look.

"Sorry Emily, I don't "do" normal girl stuff…..she knows I don't "bitch-slap", I've broken her nose like what five times already?" I gave her back the annoyed look.

"I know, I know…just help me get her to the truck….please" Emily pleaded.

"Fine" I said as I threw my hands in the air in exasperation. Then I grabbed Leah, and threw her over my shoulder.

"Oh hell no….let go of me Bella…I hate you" Leah was screaming and punching me in the back (which felt like getting hit with a nerf bat) as I walked towards Emily's truck.

" I swear if you don't shut up and stop punching me, I will really kick your ass Leah! Don't test my self control", I said as I slapped her butt and giggled. Once I reached Emily's truck, I easily placed Leah in the front seat. Leah actually thanked me, and Emily drove off. I headed back to Jake and Embry.

"Well I guess it wouldn't be a party if B, didn't break Leah's nose and then carry her to Emily's truck right?" Jake said and then started laughing. "And thanks for defending my honor B" he said as he gave me a hug.

"Hey B, they are starting the Keg stands, come one" Seth grabbed my hand and started dragging me towards his truck. Apparently he took a short nap after puking his guts out and was ready for round two. (everything goes dark).

I wake up to trucks revving, I grab my cell phone. I have eleven missed calls, and it's 8:30 am. I sit up and start shaking Jake.

"Jacob! Jake! JAKE! Jake get up! I have to leave my house in 45 minutes! Oh, fuck! Charlie is going to kill me! Jake get the fuck up! Fine jackass! Hope you like the feeling of the wind blowing through your hangover!!!".