Misery Loves Company

Author: Ladelle

Comments: OMG, eight weeks til I graduate! I'm so excited! Then I'm going to Vegas and then to Cali for AX...I had this dream last year that MLC would be finished before I graduated but...for that I owe you guys an apology. I was actually thinking the other day how much I'll miss it when it's over...because really, there are probably only five or six chapters left.

Thank you for all of your reviews! I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

PS, please read my author's note at the bottom if you have PMed me or emailed me and struggled to get a response. I'm creating a solution!!

Chapter 23:

It was close to nightfall when Naruto found himself completely alone, crouched in the depths of the wild garden Lee called his 'backyard'. The entirety of the afternoon had been spent playing with Ju and attempting to hide the sheer awkwardness of the situation; Sakura staring at him, Kiba laughing as though two years hadn't passed since they had last seen each other…

Had Naruto grown that much? Had he changed in two years - so much that now he was the odd one out? It was as though the world had continued without him. Looking at Ju, he saw himself in the child's bright blue eyes. But as much as he had attributed to creating the little boy—he wasn't his father. And if he was, he decided that he was a damn shitty one.

Ju had grown up with some difficulties, but it was apparent that something in Sakura had changed. He remembered her hating that child, proved by the fact she named him after a curse. But now…he didn't see any of that now. Sakura was doting and Kiba was the perfect father figure, even though Naruto had a sixth sense that Lee and Sakura were the actual couple. It was the way they looked at each other and the way Ju gravitated towards him…and Naruto decided that Lee was a good father figure too.

He hated admitting that. Coming to terms with the fact that he, Kiba, and Sakura had grown apart from each other. They had a life now, a life in Nivae raising Ju, being homebodies, being comfortable.

And Naruto…his life was a wreck. He was hiding in an eco-village to avoid being arrested by the police. That or be found by international terrorists. He felt like Harrison Ford in that old movie the Fugitive.

Naruto shifted his weight, pulling his knees tighter to his chest. The cobblestone beneath him was growing cold, and the heated scent of hydrangeas was beginning to fade. The moon and stars were becoming more visible as the night grew darker, enough that he could make out a few constellations.

Naruto frowned.

The truth was that he had changed. More than the people around him. He wasn't the college student with a flare for science anymore, he was a grown man with responsibilities and obligations. He had people to protect now, and it made his skin itch when he thought about just how long he had been running. Sure, he had been willing to go with the Akatsuki to solve things, but what was he doing now? Playing house while everything fell apart back in the city? Waiting for Danzo to figure out he was in Nivae, where more people close to him could be hurt?

His fists clenched against his sides and he buried his head against his knees, letting out a ragged breath. He twisted his head back when he heard footsteps on the pavement behind him and figured that it was about time someone came searching fro him, even if he preferred the solitude.

"The only time I ever remember you being this focused is right before Mrs. Delati's art history exam," came Kiba's voice and there was a bit of playfulness in the comment. "Although…we both knew neither of us was going to pass it, so I have no idea why we studied so hard."

Naruto smiled at the memory. What Kiba said was true, as well. Art was subjective, after all. Kiba sucked in a deep breath and finally came forward, walking slowly as he stared up at the night sky. There was a pregnant pause where they both seemed to not know what to say, all until Kiba finally found his voice.

"Are you…really okay?"

It was a simple comment, but one that seemed to make some of the bricks on Naruto's shoulders crumble to pieces. He didn't want to answer though. It wasn't like him to be anything but fine.

Kiba sat down next to him, and Naruto thought it felt like old times.

"Was Ju too much? I guess I'd be feeling overwhelmed too," Kiba started.

That was part of it, so Naruto nodded. The other huge part was Sasuke, and considering he had left their relationship out of his recap of the past couple of years he decided to leave it be. Kiba hadn't ever known him to be infatuated with another guy, and he wasn't sure if that was another topping he wanted to add to the cake.

"Do you have anyone you can talk to anymore?" Kiba questioned, though the tone of his voice made it obvious he felt awkward asking. His fingers played with bottom of his shirt and he wouldn't make eye contact with Naruto.

After a deep breath, Naruto answered. "My problems are a little complicated. I don't want to bother other people with them." The only person who had known about everything was Neji, and that was a sore subject.

Kiba snorted. "Bother people? You need to talk to people. Talk to me, if you have to. I may not be able to give you the best advice but I want to be here for you."

It was oddly sentimental and one of the most collected things Naruto could ever remember Kiba saying. He smiled a little.

"I'm not saying this to sound mean, but we're not exactly close anymore." Even though he hadn't wanted his words to sting, it was obvious that they did. Kiba twisted his head to Naruto and frowned.

"I know that. I'm trying to fix that." His lips pursed in annoyance and Naruto found his frustration building.

"Nothing about me being here can be fixed," his words were clipped, and Kiba seemed surprised at his tone. He seemed to realize it was Naruto's frustration talking, but it didn't stop him from retorting.

"I never knew you to be the type to give up so easily."

A flare of emotion shot up Naruto's spine. "I'm not giving up on anything."

"It sure sounds like it."

"Well, it sure sounds like you don't know what you're talking about."

Kiba snorted. "Stop trying to be who everyone wants you to be."

Naruto had been prepared to throw back an insult when the comment caught him off guard. He glanced over to his old friend and raised an eyebrow. Kiba turned his head towards the night sky and continued.

"You've always done this. Sarutobi wanted you to be a genius so you spent every waking moment in that lab coming up with schematics and shit. That old man—Jiraiya or whatever—he wanted you to risk your life for his invention, and you did. And now, knowing you," Kiba finally looked at him with narrowed eyes, "you're probably wondering how you're going to be a good dad and save the world for those lunatics' sakes over there." Kiba pointed towards the house where Haku and Kotetsu looked overly fascinated with a well that acted as the house's sole source of water.

"For everyone's sake and most especially your own, Naruto, do what you want to do for a change."

If there had been a hammer in Kiba's hand, he would have hit a nail straight on the head. It was such an unbelievably amazing rush that filled Naruto at the realization that someone, old friend or not, somehow knew him better than he knew himself. He just wanted a day where everything went his way; where he could do what he wanted to do.

"It's not that easy though," Naruto started and Kiba cut him off.

"Nothing is ever easy. What, you wanted everything to just be handed to you?" Kiba's tone was sharp.

"Of course not! I'm not a kid. But you know, working through college is 'not having everything handed to you'. And having a bunch of people out to kill you is completely different."

Kiba actually looked angry. "I'm just saying that you have a lot of people who have faith in you, and instead of valuing that you're out here crying over spilled milk."

"Kiba—" Naruto growled, his patience wearing thin.

"What? I'm not going to baby you. We're both grown. If the mess is that bad, clean it up."

There was a pause where Naruto's narrowed and his lips twitched. He was getting close to his breaking point. "The only way this mess got cleaned up in the first place was by me going back to the past."

That reality hit him like someone knocked the wind from his lungs. Was that the answer? Did he…would he have to leave?

Kiba was oddly quiet. "I don't want you to leave again," he said softly, honestly. Naruto decided that he didn't want to either. But…what else could he do?

"I can't leave him again," Naruto's words were honest but they didn't hold much of a resolution. Kiba turned towards him, confused.

"Who? Ju?"

Naruto's eyes widened at his mistake and he shook his head. "No one. Nevermind."

It only took seconds for Kiba to catch on; he had never been slow. But his eyes widened so much that the hazel orbs inside appeared to be drowning in a sea of white, and his jaw dropped.

"You—who? When?" A pause. "Why?"

"Yes, I'm not telling you, for a while," Naruto answered. "And I don't know. It just…happened."

Warm hands grabbed Naruto's shoulder and shook him until he lost balance.

"Who?" Kiba asked. "Who?"

Naruto saw an honest curiosity in Kiba's eyes, so he answered. "Sasuke."

Before he had much time to think Kiba shoved him and Naruto fell flat on his back. His shoulder hurt as it scraped against the concrete and he growled, "What the hell was that for?"

Kiba was glaring at him. "You have a crush on a man, for one," he said, as if the idea was preposterous. "And second, one that's taken. You're a home wrecker!"

"I am not!" Naruto jumped back up, his emotions flaring again. "I haven't done anything!"

"You haven't done anything?" Kiba chided, almost as though he wanted to tease Naruto to death. "You haven't even kissed him?"

Naruto remembered the only time he and Sasuke had kissed as of late, in the alley when their relationship had officially turned into the inexplicable mess it remained now. "I—He kissed me!"

If Kiba had been drinking anything it would have shot out of his nose. "—What!?"

Naruto was on his feet, pacing, pulling at his disheveled blond hair in a quiet fury. "He never knew I was coming back—I was gonna find him, but Suigetsu had already—but then I don't want to be here if he's not going to…." Naruto stopped. Sasuke was becoming a sore subject even. Kiba was staring up at him.

Naruto stared back at him. "What?" he demanded.

Kiba was still staring. "You…really like him? You're being serious?" It was almost as though he had problems getting the 'him' out. Naruto's tensions dwindled a little and he nodded a little. Kiba still stared in disbelief. "What ever happened to, 'Yay, boobs are great, now let's go to the club'?"

Naruto felt laughter bubble in his throat. "I never said that. I was dating Sakura and she would have killed me if I ever said anything like that. You're the one who used to drag me out."

Kiba seemed even more flabbergasted. "Yeah, you were dating Sakura." His hazel eyes turned to question marks; he was clearly still trying to add things up. Naruto crouched down next to him.

"I can't tell you when, or why. I just know that for the past two-and-a-half years he's been the only person I can't stop myself from thinking about. I imagine not having him and…everything just feels empty."

Kiba's watched him, his eyes softening as he finally began to understand, at least, how hard it was for Naruto to even talk about Sasuke Uchiha. He still grimaced. "But he's dating someone else. I mean…"

"Yeah." Naruto said plainly. "I've…been pretty empty for a while now."

Naruto turned his attention away from Kiba, watching the harvest moon finally reveal itself through the clouds. They were both quiet, but Naruto could feel Kiba's eyes on him, watching him, wanting to do something for him but at a loss for words. It was alright though, he didn't expect any.

"Isn't it a little late to be out?" Naruto jumped but Kiba seemed to have realized someone else had come to join them. The brunet stood up and brushed off his pants. "Come in for dinner when you're ready," he said, and Naruto didn't have to turn to see why Kiba was leaving him behind.

"Hello, Sasuke."

Naruto expected Sasuke to remain quiet behind him. It would have matched the strained energy that suddenly made the air heavy around them. But to Naruto's surprise, Sasuke wasn't hesitant to speak.

"I thought that maybe you'd want a break from them," he said, referring to the house full of old friends, romances, and one long-lost child. Naruto couldn't help but cop a smile even when he knew that Sasuke was being quite serious.

"Yeah," he agreed, although he had enjoyed Kiba's company. He felt slightly guilty when he realized that he somehow preferred Sasuke, but he still wasn't able to make his smile disappear.

This time there was silence and it seemed to stretch for an eternity. Naruto felt his thoughts waver a bit as he let his insecurities of the day wash over him, and he could hear Sasuke's soft breathing, so close that he felt that in a moment it would wash over his neck. The thought made goose bumps rise on his skin and his eyes drifted closed.

Who was he trying to kid? The more he pushed Sasuke away, the closer he wanted him. The more he wanted him. His own breathing came ten times faster when it was just them alone, even if he regretted every minute of it. Well, not quite regret. But how could you savor something unrequited?

"Earlier…" Sasuke started, and his voice made Naruto jump. His eyes were open in an instant and he was grateful the silence had ended, bringing him back from his thoughts. "Earlier, you said that you couldn't. I'm assuming you meant that you couldn't do this—whatever this is, between us."

Naruto hesitated before nodding, but there was little confidence in it. He turned his head to catch a glimpse of Sasuke, to read his expression. Was this it? The moment where Sasuke's lips would move and the first name his mouth would form would be Suigetsu?

Naruto couldn't stop his heart from climbing into his throat. This conversation had happened between them so many times already, but neither of them could bring themselves to say it. To say no to the intoxicating emotions that somehow still bound them together, even when every conversation ended in an argument.

"I…" Sasuke couldn't look at Naruto, or so it seemed, as his eyes went upward, reflecting the stars. His lips remained open, tense, not prepared. Naruto felt his chest tighten. He didn't want to hear it.

"You don't have to do this," Naruto said and he stood up. The truth was that the day had been too long and he couldn't bear to have something more to think about. And…he didn't want to hear Sasuke say goodbye to him. As much as he felt like he had known this moment was coming, he couldn't stand how it made him feel.

Aches, pains, a soreness…words couldn't describe it. It wasn't like any word he knew. How do you describe a pain you've never felt, but you know will paralyze you in an instant? One that takes your heart and squeezes it so tightly that you feel like you'll never be able to breathe again?

"Naruto—"

"No really, save your breath," Naruto was getting ready to blow him off, that dinner with Kiba sounding better with each passing moment. He would just walk away; they would brush shoulders, and wait for another time to have this conversation. At least that was how he pictured it in his mind. He never imagined that Sasuke would snatch his arm and drag him further into the wild garden, overgrown with snaring weeds and looming cattails.

He struggled against the firm grip around his wrist, biting his lip. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear anything Sasuke had to say. If this was it, Naruto wasn't ready.

"You always make things so difficult," Sasuke muttered, and before Naruto knew it they were sheltered by a warped willow tree, its leaves forming an umbrella above, hiding them from the rest of the world.

"I can't have this conversation right now," Naruto said outright, and even though he couldn't see his own face, he could imagine what it looked like. His eyes would be wide—begging and direct—and his lower lip was moving as if words meant to come out but simply wouldn't.

When Sasuke didn't answer, Naruto realized he had been staring at the ground, looking at anything but the person in front of him. This realization brought made his vision rise, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he looked at Sasuke. And not looked like how you look at an apple in the supermarket. He took in Sasuke like he was the night air itself, filling his lungs and rejuvenating his mind.

Why did Sasuke feel like an escape when he was every bit the problem?

His skin was pale, just as Naruto remembered it. It was the color of hazelnut cream, and just as smooth. Dark eyes smoldered beneath thick lashes, and perfectly trimmed eyebrows arched upward, matching the frown formed by Sasuke's lips.

Naruto thought that if his heart were to beat any louder it would simply burst out of him and run away, and action he couldn't do on his own. His legs felt stiff and cold sweat beaded in the palms of is hands. He swallowed.

"Should I ask for you to pencil me in then?" Sasuke asked. There was a tone to his voice that went beyond simple sarcasm. "Because Lord knows we need to make this convenient for you."

Naruto was surprised at how cruel the comment sounded, but he kept is cool. He watched as Sasuke licked his lips before letting out an aged breath.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," he said softly. There was another pause. "Naruto, I can't do this either."

And there it was.

Somehow it didn't hurt as much as Naruto had expected. Surprisingly enough, everything inside of him felt oddly numb, even his heart which he was sure had just stopped. Every thought in his mind disappeared, his conscience crystal clear, an empty and silent void. He was nothing now, somehow, and he couldn't even use the part of his brain that knew how to speak.

Sasuke was still talking. Naruto felt himself trying to avoid hearing any of it, but that only made him listen more closely.

"They say that love and sacrifice go hand in hand," he started. "I'm not the type to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I do know a little something here and there when it comes to common sense."

This was the part where Sasuke would talk about Suigetsu, and how much he had sacrificed by funding Uchiha Industries to keep it from tanking. He would say something about how the company meant everything to him, and how he would do anything to uphold his family name. Naruto's eyes were falling half-lidded. He didn't want to hear it.

"Sometimes you get to a point where you have to realize who's really put themselves on the line for you. Suigetsu took on all of Uchiha Industries when I could barely manage it. He made the future of my company possible."

"Yeah." It was all Naruto could bring himself to say. Sasuke's frown deepened.

"I've wracked my brain trying to figure out a way to get you alone. It's like you're not even on this planet anymore, the way you overwork yourself. And then whenever I'm with you, you act like I'm a disease. It's actually quite immature," Sasuke stated, and Naruto felt his eye twitch at the insult.

"Just say it," Naruto finally said. Sasuke looked irritated.

"You told me earlier that I needed to choose. Naruto, you haven't even given me a chance to decide anything. You always push me away; it's so damn frustrating," Sasuke said, shaking his head.

"Well here's your chance," Naruto's voice sounded cold, even to himself. Sasuke didn't say anything, he only came closer. Even from a little less than a foot away, Naruto could feel his warmth. The way it made him feel made him almost angry, a part of him wishing he could just make his feelings disappear.

"What do you think I came out here to tell you?" Sasuke finally asked.

Naruto remained quiet.

Sasuke came closer. "Suigetsu may have—"

"Just say it already," Naruto glared. "You're acting like I don't know what you're thinking."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and smirked, an expression Naruto decided angered him. He wasn't being funny at all!

"And what am I thinking?"

Naruto frowned. "You can't be in a relationship with me. Everything's a mess. Right now Suigetsu can give you the security you need for your company, and me…I'm just here."

Sasuke stared at Naruto long enough for his smirk to waver. "I'm pretty sure that's what you're thinking."

An overwhelming urge to just leave completely dissolved inside of Naruto as he wondered what that meant. "What? Of course it is. Because you're not stupid! Of course that's what you think when it comes to us and whatever this is."

Naruto waved his hand around the space between them, mimicking the thing that their relationship had become.

"You're right," Sasuke said, and Naruto stepped forward, completely ready to just walk away. But Sasuke continued. "I'm not stupid."

Sasuke had a knack for surprising Naruto with kisses, and this one was another to add to the list. His head barely came forward before his lips brushed Naruto's and it was so quick that by the time Naruto stumbled backwards the moment had already ended.

"Stop doing that!" Naruto wiped his lips. "This isn't a game!"

Sasuke was smirking again. "If it was, I'd be winning."

Naruto scowled. "Yeah, if it was a contest to see who could be the bigger jerk."

This time Sasuke let his smile fade. "I'm being serious. I'm not stupid, and yes, everything you said as true."

Naruto expected him to say more, but nothing came. When Naruto wasn't sure what to make of the silence, he decided to speak himself.

"If you want to go to Suigetsu, just say it."

"Don't put words in my mouth. I didn't come out here to talk about Suigetsu. I came to find you so we could talk about us." Naruto couldn't remember a time when he had heard Sasuke sound more solemn. The comment, however, brought questions to his mind.

"Is there an 'us' to talk about?" he questioned. After all, he had nearly convinced himself no such thing existed anymore. Sasuke seemed to think so, judging by the expression on his face. Naruto was quick to cut him off.

"I won't be number two." He wasn't sure what Sasuke was even planning on saying, but he wasn't going to be some side to the main dish. He wasn't willing to leave with their relationship being up in the air like it had been either. He needed to know…just what were they to each other anymore?

Sasuke let out a long breath. "I want you."

It was the type of comment that couldn't quite be placed. It made the numbness in Naruto thaw a little, drizzling out through his nerves like something inside of him had just awakened.

"You want me?" Naruto asked. Even though the comment made him feel like a small fire was lit inside of him, he wanted to hear more. What did that mean?

"I have tried so hard to pretend like you were never here," Sasuke said. It was a painfully honest admission that stung. "But every time I thought I had escaped from you, you'd turn up again."

Naruto wondered how two people could be trying to escape each other at the same time, their paths still leading them back together. And endless loop, like a broken record playing the most beautiful song.

"I didn't come back to screw up your life; I did it to fix mine." Naruto admitted.

Sasuke held up his hand. "You didn't screw up anything. I did. I don't want to lose you. I can't stop myself from wanting you and this," he waved his hand around, imitating Naruto's action from earlier. "…even if I have no idea what it is."

Naruto felt his resolution starting to crumble. How could he stay angry, or even resent someone when they spoke to him so truthfully? He backed up a tiny bit more, until his back met the gnarled bark of the willow tree behind him, and he slid down until he was sitting on the shrubbed earth below.

"Sasuke…"

"When we talked, before getting to Nivae, did you decide what you wanted?" Sasuke came forward and pocketed his hands, almost as if he was afraid to know the answer. Naruto shook his head.

"I've always wanted you," he stated. Sasuke's eyes moved upward to meet his own and Naruto continued. His voice didn't hold any romance nor any longing. It was simply as though he was stating a fact; something that would never change. "I can't think about anyone else. I wasn't afraid of Suigetsu. Actually, I was prepared to steal you back. But you looked so comfortable, and your company…"

"It's not about my company, so stop saying that," Sasuke sounded irritated. "We're stuck. We both want something that's right in front of us."

Naruto nodded but didn't say anything, only searched the ground in an effort not to meet Sasuke's gaze though. His effort was stalemated when Sasuke crouched down to his level and brought his forehead to rest on Naruto's.

"I'm not saying 'I want you'," Sasuke's voice was soft. "I'm telling you that you're the one I want."

Naruto felt his pulse pick up again, remembering this from long ago. The feel of having Sasuke so close, the swell of heat and emotion building in his gut when he felt like they were slowly becoming closer, even more inseparable.

"You're not going to kiss me?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke smirked.

"It's up to you…" he said, and Naruto decided to forget, for only a few minutes, that Suigetsu even existed.

Sasuke's hands fell to Naruto's hips and the heat between them was like a web, entangling them in place they both thought they had lost long ago. The smell of bristling pines and summer lilacs suffocated the twilight breeze, and the weeping willow above them shaded a kiss that no one was meant to see.

a/n: It's still pretty bittersweet between them though. A love for someone you just can't stop, even if you know that too many things complicate it. I'm sure we've all been there and done that, LOL, only I think time travel would have made those memories ten times more entertaining, hahahaha.

CONTACT ME:

Yes, I fail. I'm announcing it to the world via this chapter because I am an idiot and have everything goint to ONE email address, (every fanfiction/LJ/school/friends/teachers/work/career) and I'm finally making an effort to fix this. So, I've created (cue music) a fandom email! Let's all celebrate with a moment of smiles and silent cheering.

:insert moment:

This should definitely help make things easier for me. So, instead of PMing me, or for those of you who know my normal email address, please now email me at: the_Ladelle (at) hotmail . com. I will respond dutifully. Especially because I'm supposed to meet one of you :searches far and wide: at AX but I can no longer find your email...:sobs:

Please email me back. I feel horrible. And anyone else who feels like it. Go for the gold.

NARUTO SPOILERS:

Anime: I...have not been watching the anime. But I heard the second Ship movie came out! I want it!!! If anyone knows where I cna find it...you can be my new best friend? haha

Manga: I'm not going to lie, last week's chapter was really funny to me. I really shouldn't read Naruto before working super early on Fridays though. I'm already chalk-full of sugary cereal so I'm bound to crack up at anything I can find. Reasons it was uber entertaining:

1.) Naruto said he wanted to kill Nagato so badly he was shaking...and then proceeded to appear quite composed when asking, "Hey, before I decide how to kill you, can you tell me why you're such an angry person?" I totally had an image of Nagato being in that Adam Sandler movie Anger Management, LOL. Gooz fraba, Nagato, gooz fraba.

2.) HAHA. Nagato frickin tripped over a table! People who grow up believing they're God don't stumble into inanimate objects! (Without me laughing at them, of course)

3.) "DUR DUR" Konoha Ninja completely took out his parents with their awesome ninja-raydar abilities. I mean, tons of ninja leap out of dark places with fear in their eyes waving stolen bread during missions. Of course his parents were ninja! No one could have possibly guessed they were innocent civilians!

The new chapter had me a little laughy but mostly slightly fangirly.

Reasons for Laughy:

1.) 'There are only two times I have cried...the first is when my parents died...and the second is when my dog Tiny was assassinated by Konoha ninja.' I was seriously thinking that was gonna be his second reason! ROFL! I'm wondering if he's gonna agree to train under Jiraiya under the intent to get him back for taking out his poor little puppy! *_* Awe.

Reasons for Fangirling:

1.) OMG Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Oro all teamed up and young. Is it just me, or does anyone wonder how on earth Jiraiya stayed single? Damn.

2.) Yahiko! He's like a mini-Naruto!

Yeah, that's all I got. I wonder what's going to happen when his flashbacks are over? Naruto'll be like, "Well, now that I know all :that: I can't kill you. We're like family!" Cause it would be pretty harsh for him to be like, "I appreciate your story, I shall share it with the young." :kills:

Hahaha. Okay, I gotta run. Homework calls. Love you guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. XD