Wednesday October 11th, 2000

Mia was surprised that Charlotte was not her usual gushing self. She was silent as they walked between classes and Mia was afraid to ask her why. If Mike hadn't asked her yet, Mia was the last person she would want to talk to about it. Mia's fears were strengthened during lunch when Charlotte sat as far away from Mike as possible, chatting with Sam. Mike was unusually quiet.

William was not in a very good mood today, tenser than he let his family see. He knew today would be a hard one, harder than the day before. He was aware that Mike was going to ask Mia on a date.

Mike was working up his nerve as he walked with Mia to art class. William listened to his struggles as he waited for them to arrive. Mike sat down on their table, while William imagined the sound it would make if his body hit the opposite wall with enough force to break most of his bones.

"So," Mike said. "Homecoming's next weekend."

"Oh yeah," Mia answered cautiously. "I bet you're excited about the game."

Taken off guard Mike scrambled for the right response. "Yeah, oh yeah, we're gonna crush 'em."

"Well…" Mike stammered. "I was wondering if you, well… there's a dance after the game and I wondered if you might want to go with me."

Mia hesitated. She hated the wave of guilt that swept through her. Yet she couldn't help but notice from the corner of her eye that William had tilted his head reflexively in her direction.

In that moment of hesitation William saw the future more clearly than Ella ever had. Mia might say yes to Mike's question now, and she might not, but either way, someday soon, she would say yes to someone. She was lovely and intriguing and human males where not oblivious to this fact. Whether she would settle for someone in this lack luster crowd, or wait until she was free of High Point, the day would come that she would say yes.

The pain of this future was more than anything William had ever felt. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel this pain; a human would not live through it. And not just pain, but outright rage. The fury ached for some kind of physical outlet. Though this insignificant undeserving boy might not be the one that Mia would say yes to, William yearned to crush his skull in his hand.

William couldn't understand his emotion; it was a tangled mess of pain, rage, desire and despair. He couldn't put a name to it.

"Mike, I'm not going to the dance." Mia said, in a gentle voice.

Mike's hopes plummeted. William would have enjoyed it under other circumstances, but he was lost in the aftershock of the pain he could not name. Ella was right, he thought, I'm not strong enough.

"Why not?" Mike demanded, glancing at William, suspicious for the first time in weeks.

The wild envy in Mike's thoughts, envy for whomever this girl preferred to him, suddenly put a name to Williams unnamed emotion. He was jealous.

"I'm going to be out of town that Saturday," Mia explained.

"Can't you go some other weekend?" Mike asked his tone almost rude. It offended William that he used this tone with Mia; he had to bite back a growl.

"Sorry, no." Mia was unwavering now.

"Alright," Mike mumbled, and turned, dejected to walk back to his seat. He was so demoralized that William almost felt pity for him, almost.

Mia closed her eyes and pressed her finger tips to her temples, trying to push the guilt out of her head. When Mrs. DeSimone started talking, Mia sighed and opened her eyes.

William was staring at her curiously. Mia stared back, while William tried vainly to read her thoughts through her liquid amber eyes. They were full of questions rather than answers. He could see his reflection in her eyes; he saw the thirst in his black eyes. It had been nearly two weeks since his last hunting trip, not a good time for his will to crumble. But the blackness did not frighten Mia; she did not look away as a soft devastatingly appealing pink began to color her skin.

What is she thinking? William wondered hopelessly. He almost asked the question out loud but Mrs. DeSimone called his name. He picked the answer out of the teachers head and sucked in a quick breath, "Black." This scorched his throat, tightening his muscles and filling his mouth with venom. He closed his eyes trying to concentrate. The monster was stronger than before. The monster was rejoicing, embracing the dual future that gave him a fifty-fifty chance at what he craved. The third, shaky future, William had tried to shape through willpower had crumpled, destroyed by common jealousy, of all things.

The remorse and the guilt burned with the thirst, and if he'd had the ability to produce tears, they would have filled his eyes now. What have I done? William thought. Knowing the battle was already lost, there seemed to be no reason to resist what he wanted, he turned to stare at Mia again.

Mia looked away as soon as William had; cowardly she pulled her hair over her shoulder to hide her face. She couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through her. She couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over her, it was pathetic, but more than pathetic it was dangerous. She had grown used to his silent presence, she knew it was better that way and had worked very hard to repress the feelings of disappointment she had when he suddenly stopped talking to her after the accident. Frustrated that it took only a glance to knock down the wall she had built she tried diligently to ignore his stares.

The brief hour passed to quickly for William. When the bell rang Mia turned her back to William and began gathering her things. This disappointed him, but he could hardly expect otherwise, the way he had ignored her since the near accident was uncalled-for.

"Mia," William said, unable to stop himself.

Mia hesitated to look at him, she turned slowly, unwillingly. She didn't want to feel what she knew she would feel when she looked at him. When she turned her expression was guarded, distrustful. She waited for him to continue but he just stared at her face.

"What?" She finally said.

"I'm sorry," William said sincerely. "I know I've been very rude these last few weeks, but it's better if we're not friends."

Mia cringed unexpectedly to Williams words. "Then why did you waste your time saving my life?" She said angrily. "You could have saved yourself all this remorse if you'd have just stayed out of it."

"Waste my time?" William demanded

"Yeah, if you'd just let the truck hit me you wouldn't have to worry about being 'very rude'." Mia snapped.

William froze, stunned. How could she be thinking that? He thought. Saving her life was the one acceptable thing he had done since he met her. The one thing he was not ashamed of, the one and only thing that made him glad he existed at all.

Mia could tell that her choice in words and her tone had caught him off guard, made him mad. She felt a pang of guilt and turned to leave before she retracted her statement, walking stiffly, and trying desperately to push back the feelings that were flooding her system. No one was there to watch him so William flitted to her side.

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"Sure seems that way." She retorted.

William was seething, "Well than, I'd say you're exceptionally unobservant."

I'd say I know more than you think I do, Mia thought to herself as she wrenched herself away from William and stomped off to her next class.

Christopher and William walked to the parking lot at the end of the day, William still in deep thought. So he proved he could not ignore the girl that much was obvious. But did that mean he had no other choice but to destroy her? That could not be the only available future, he thought. There has to be some delicate balance. William wasn't paying too much attention to Christopher, but Christopher was curious, he could see the change in William's mood. Christopher struggled to define the change, and finally decided that he looked hopeful.

William pondered the idea of hope, wondering exactly what he should be hoping for. But he didn't have long to ponder. Sensitive as he was to the thoughts about the girl, the sound of Mia's name in the heads of his…rivals caught his attention. Sam having heard with much satisfaction of Mike's failure was preparing to make his move. William had to see this.

"Wait for the others here, all right?" William murmured to Christopher.

Christopher shrugged and nodded, kids lost his mind, he thought, amused by William's odd request.

Mia got into her car and was reversing into the aisle when she saw William pulling out smoothly in front of her, cutting her off. He stopped there, to wait for his family, Mia could see them making their way but they were still a ways off. William watched her in his rearview mirror. What is he doing? Mia thought, frustrated with the hold up.

Sam hurried to his car and got in line behind Mia. He waited a moment, and then left his car, sauntering up to her window. He tapped on the glass. Mia jumped and then rolled down her window.

"I'm sorry Sam, I'm stuck behind William." She said, her voice irritated.

"Oh I know," Sam said, undeterred by her mood. "I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." He grinned.

This cannot be happening, Mia thought.

"Will you go with me to the Homecoming dance?" He asked.

"I'm not going to be in town," She told him.

"Yeah, Mike said that."

"Then why?" She stared at him.

He shrugged, "I was just hoping you were letting him down easy."

"Sorry." She said, not sounding sorry at all.

"That's cool, we still have prom." He replied, his self assurance untouched.

Before Mia could respond Sam strutted back to his car, she could feel the shock on her face; William was elated he had stayed to watch. The horrified expression on her face was priceless. It told William what he should not need to know, that she had no feelings for any of the human males that wished to court her. Also her expression was possibly the funniest thing he'd ever seen. The rest of William's family arrived then, confused by the fact that he was laughing rather than scowling.

What's so funny? Christopher wanted to know.

"Let's go!" Elizabeth hissed impatiently. "Stop being an idiot, if you can!"

Her words didn't annoy William, he was too entertained. But he did as she asked. No one spoke on the way home; however, William continued to chuckle now and then when he thought of Mia's face. It was Ella who ruined William's good mood.

"So do I get to talk to Mia now?" She asked suddenly.

"No!" William snapped

"Not fair! What am I waiting for?"

"I haven't decided anything, Ella."

"Whatever, William."

When Mia got home she was fuming over the site of William laughing at her. When the phone rang it took her by surprise, it was Charlotte, she was ecstatic. Mike had caught her after school and asked her to Homecoming. Mia celebrated with her briefly. Charlotte had to go, she wanted to call Melissa and tell her the good news. After she hung up Mia tried to concentrate on making dinner. Her head was spinning trying to analyze every word William had spoken to her today. She agreed that they shouldn't be friends but why did he get so angry and why did she feel guilty…

The others were scheduled to hunt tomorrow, but William couldn't afford to be thirsty now. He overdid it, he was so full now he was uncomfortable, but he knew it wouldn't be enough, her scent was stronger than anything else. When he was done it was still several hours before the sun would rise, he had been preparing for the next day, but it seemed that it wasn't coming fast enough.

A jittery high swept through him when he realized he was going to find the girl. He argued with himself the whole way, but his less noble side won the argument, and he went ahead with his indefensible plan. He only wanted to know where she was, he would keep a safe distance, he just wanted to see her face.

It was past midnight and Mia's house was dark and quiet. Her car was parked against the curb her parents cars in the driveway. There were no conscious thoughts in the neighborhood. He watched the house for a moment from the blackness of the forest that bordered it. Assuming the front door would be locked he decided to try an upstairs window first, not many people would bother locking them. He crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second. Dangling from the eave above the window, he looked through the glass, his breath stopped.

It was her room. He could see her on the bed, her blanket twisted around her legs. She twitched restlessly, as he watched. She did not sleep soundly; William was repulsed by himself as he watched her toss again. How am I better than some sick peeping tom? He thought. I'm not, I'm much much worse. He allowed himself one last look at her face before he relaxed his fingers to let himself drop. It was not peaceful, a little furrow between her eyes, her lips turned down, they trembled and then parted.

"Wait," She muttered.

Mia talked in her sleep. William's curiosity flared, overpowering his self disgust. The lure of those unprotected, unconsciously spoken words were impossibly tempting. He tried the window, it was not locked. He eased himself silently through the half opened window. Her room was small and clean. There was a stack of CD's lying next to her stereo; the one on top was homemade. Her sketch book was on the floor, pieces of paper shoved inside as if done in a hurry, her pencils neatly placed on her desk. A few pairs of shoes dotted the floor. William wanted desperately to flip through her sketch book, but he'd promised himself he would keep his distance, instead, he went to sit on a wooden chest in the far corner of her room.

Did I really ever think her average looking? William thought to himself. He thought of that first day, and his disgust for the boys who were so immediately intrigued with her. But when he remembered her face in their minds now, he could not understand why he had not found her beautiful immediately. It seemed obvious now. Right now, with her dark hair tangled and wild around her face, wearing a thin green tank top with black sweatpants, her features relaxed in unconsciousness, her full lips slightly parted, she took his breath away. Or would have, if he'd been breathing.

"William," Mia said.

He froze staring at her unopened eyes.

Mia sighed and then rolled to her side, still fast asleep and dreaming.

"William," She mumbled softly.

She's dreaming of me… William thought in amazement.

"Its okay," She sighed. "It's okay…"

William struggled to find words to name the feelings that flooded through him, but there were no words strong enough to hold them. He drowned in them. When he surfaced he was not the same man.

His life had been an unending, unchanging midnight, how could it be possible that the sun was rising right there in the middle of his midnight. At the time that William had become a vampire he had truly been frozen. His body and his self had been frozen as it was, his personality, likes, dislikes, moods, and desires, all were fixed in place. When change came for one of them, it was rare and permanent. William had seen it happen to Phillip and then later with Elizabeth. Love had changed them in an eternal way, a way that never faded. It would always be that way for them, and now for William too. He would always love this fragile human girl, for the rest of his existence.

He gazed at her unconscious face, feeling this love for her settle into every portion of his body. Always watching her, William began to plot. He loved her, so perhaps he was strong enough to circumvent the future. Loving her would not keep him from killing her if he let himself make mistakes. Yet he could not feel the monster now, could not find him anywhere inside him. Perhaps love had silenced him forever, he thought. If he killed her now, it would not be intentional, only a horrible accident. He knew he would have to be unbelievably careful, never able to let his guard down. Always controlling his breath, keeping a cautious distance. Could he be with her and leave her human, he wondered.

Deliberately, he took a deep breath, and then another, letting her scent rip through him like a wildfire. The room was thick with her perfume; her fragrance was layered on every surface. His head swam, he would have to get used to it, if he was ever going to attempt any kind of relationship with her. He took another deep breath. William watched her sleep until the sun rose, angry with it for deciding to shine; he continued to plot and breathe before it was time for him to leave.