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Chapter. 24 I am So Sorry.
"I'm not falling for that shit B….Alice called me yesterday, and told me to get out here…I'm sorry is not going to cut it….you can't pull that shit with me….Now you tell me everything! And I mean everything B, right now!" He was shaking with fury.
I should have known that Alice was going to have Jake come. He was the only person I would have listened too. It wasn't that he was controlling or trying to be a father to me…..no I respected him. He knew me better than anyone, he loved me deeper than anyone, and I know that he would always do what is best for me, even if it involves treating me like a five year old.
So I began to spill my guts! From the amazing day that Anthony and I, said I love you. To the day Anthony left. How Anthony didn't tell me that he was going to be Working with Tanya. How I met James, and how he left that magazine with me. What I felt and what I said when I saw the pictures of Anthony and Tanya. How I told Anthony off, and then called James. How I had just snapped and couldn't handle it, and how going wild was the only thing that made me feel better. How I couldn't stand to face any of them, especially Alice, because I knew I was fucking up in so many ways, but didn't want to care. How I had planed to talk to Alice today, and how my heart was broken and my soul was missing.
I broke down in tears, half way through. No one talked, but no one was smirking anymore. They all had no idea, what I had been going through. By the time I was done Alice was sitting next to me on Jasper's lap, crying while holding my hand. Alec and Jane were on the floor by our feet, looking as if someone had just run over their cat. And Jake was holding me tight to his chest. We all sat in silence as Alice and I cried.
"I am so sorry Bella….I had no idea….I knew you guys liked each other, but…."Alice broke down again.
"I….I….fuck! I'm sorry Bella, we should have just giving you some time" Jasper whispered.
"Yeah….we shouldn't have defended Anthony so easily….publicity or not….that shits fucked up." Jane whispered.
"See! When Alice started going all "Alice" on me, I just couldn't take it! I just wanted to be numb….and that's what James was for me….he didn't ask questions, he didn't tell me what to do or how to think, he just let me be me…..well, the really bad side of me, but me, none the less….it was jus so much easier to just shut everyone out……..and…and every time I would reach out to someone, they would just give me an ear full, instead of just listening….it was…..too much" I whined.
"But you never called me…you never, picked up the phone…..fuck B you never even texted me…..here I was, getting five hundred phone calls a day, and I couldn't even talked to you to see if it was true…..I would have known, all I would have needed to do was hear your voice…..I would have known B!" He seemed more upset at himself than at me.
"I was ashamed, I felt stupid…..how could I have been so stupid?" I was crying again.
"You aren't stupid Bella……that fucking dumb shit is!" Jasper growled.
"Bella…you said that James, showed up at your trailer, and had that magazine right?" Alice asked innocently.
"Yeah?"
"And he said that my mother thought you two should get to know each other?"
"Yeah…and?"
"And that the few times you spoke with my mother she didn't seem upset that you were partying?"
"Right?"
"Well, either way we will get this straightened out tomorrow!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Nothing…don't worry about it…I don't want to start anything unless I know for certain….anyways….you have a meeting with her tomorrow after work" She smiled but I could tell she was hiding something.
"Could you excuse us Bella, we BOTH, need to make a phone call" Jasper asked as he lifted up Alice, and carried her out of the trailer. She didn't have her casts anymore but I guess he just liked being that close to her.
"What is that about?" I asked everyone else.
"GIRL I don't know, but when you find out…you better call my ass!" Alec said excitingly.
"Lets get your hair and make-up done, sweety……come on" Jane said as she pulled me from Jake's grasp.
"Jake you can go get breakfast or something, you don't have to hang out here all day, I-" He cut me off.
"I don't think so, I am here until you leave" He said sounding a little peeved.
"Oh you want to watch me today?…Well I guess that's ok….I guess we should try to spend as much time together before you have to head back…right?" I smiled brightly at him.
"OH…..I'll be here alright….and just so you know I'm not leaving until you do" He narrowed his eyes at me, daring me to object.
"Of course you can stay until I leave to go home Jake" I laughed, at his ridiculousness.
"Till YOU leave"
"I'm not fighting you on this Jake….You can stay until I leave work" He was so dense sometimes.
"NO…..Till you leave for Tennessee, B" OH, I guess I'm dense.
"Your staying for like three weeks?"
"Yes, and I am not leaving your side, for one minute…..It's starts right now! I will be on set with you all day, every day, and when your done, we will be going to James' house to getting your shit, then you are going home….Understand?" He was pissed. I knew I should have not ignored him! DAMN!
"Yeah yeah….I get it! You are pissed off at me for ignoring you, you are playing the big brother part since Emmett is in another state….Blah Bah Blah! I get it! Chill!" I was annoyed now. I am a grown ass woman and he is treating me like a child.
"Yes, Isabella I am treating you like a child" he scowled.
"How did you-"
"I know you B, better than anyone else…I know how you think, I am not stupid…your annoyed that I am telling you what to do, but you OWE me this! I have been a mess for over three weeks because of you! And I kept it all from Charlie…." Damn he's good!
"Ok Jake, it's fine, I'll do whatever you say, I know I fucked up! And I am sorry"
"And you will never, and I repeat NEVER ignore me again…cuz if you do, I'm not giving you space, I am getting on a plane and fixing the problem before it is a problem, do you understand?!"
"Yeah, I understand…and I am sorry….I'll never do that to you again Jake, you didn't deserve it" I bowed my head in disgrace.
"Now, you have some phone calls to make"
"I do?"
"Yes…first call Emmett"
"FINE!" I huffed as I reached for my phone and found Emmett's number. The phone rang a few times before someone picked up.
"Hello" It was Rosalie.
"Hey Rose" I said meekly.
"Bella! Oh God! Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine….ummm…..Jake's here"
"About damn time!….anyway, I am not going to yell at you over the phone. I have a feeling you have a really good reason for acting the way you have…so I'll let it go….but don't you ever hurt Emmett like that again…do you understand?" She was trying to control her temper.
"Thanks Rose….is Emmett there?"
"Yeah, hold on…I'll get him"
"Hello?"
"Hey Em"
"Isabella Marie Swan, I am so dis-…Ow Rose! OK OK GEEZ!….Cub-b are you ok?"
"Yeah…I'm sorry Emmett, I never meant to hurt you….can you ever forgive me?"
"Of course…just don't do that again ok…I was worried sick…..and I'll handle the whole Anthony problem when I get home"
"NO Emmett, I need to handle that….when are you coming home?"
"In about a month, but you'll be gone, so…."
"Just let me handle it ok?"
"Alright, but if you need help…don't hesitate to call"
"Ok Emmi-bear….I love you"
"I love you to Cub-b…I got to get back to work…call me soon ok"
"Ok…bye"
"Now you need to call Esme" Jake stated.
"Esme?"
"Yes Esme…you didn't pick up or return her calls either, she got worried and called Alice…..Alice filled her in, and she wants you to call her"
"Alright" I huffed. I dialed her number and it rang a few times before she answered.
"Bella sweetheart, I am so happy you called"
"Hey Esme, I'm really sorry, it was really rude and disrespectful of me"
"What happened was tough and I understand sweetie….I just wished you had called, we could have talked it out…."
"That's what everyone is saying today" I laughed.
"I just had no idea that you two were so serious….I mean, the last time I talked to you, you had just met him earlier that day"
"Yeah, I guess time just kinda flew by, and I was busy…I'm sorry…I promise to call you more often"
"Do what you have to do, sweetheart….ummmm….listen, I do need to talk to you about something. Are you terribly busy, this week, I would like to come and see you?"
"Yes I am Esme, I am going to be really busy for the next few weeks, and then I head straight to Tennessee"
"Well, maybe I'll come see you there, I just need to talk to you about a few things, involving mainly you….Jasper and Alice"
"Alright, well I'll keep in touch, and hopefully we can see each other soon"
"Yes dear, hopefully we can"
"Well, I hate to rush this, but I really have to go"
"Alright I'll talk to you later"
"Ok…and Esme?"
"Yes dear?"
"Thanks"
"Thanks for what honey?"
"Thanks for being lthe mother I have needed these past few years….I….It means a lot" I sniffled.
"Oh Bella sweetheart, it's been my pleasure, and it touches my heart that you think of me that way"
"Well I love you Esme"
"I love you too Bella….bye" And with that we both hung up. I looked over at Jake, and smiled. All important phone calls had been made, I felt good.
"NOW, even though I want to rip that Jackass apart piece for piece and throw it into a fire…he deserves a phone call too……You can at least let him know that you are ok, he has been calling Alice, Jasper, and Emmett non-stop.
"I don't want to talk to him, he hurt me Jake…he…he broke me" I said feeling defeated.
"I know B, and I am sorry…but you are the strongest person I know, and you have to shown HIM that. So stop being a pussy, and call him…..just say Hey, I am alive, and please stop calling people's phones, I don't want to talk to you and they don't either!…ok?
"Alright" said as Alec, did his final touches, and Jane hair sprayed my hair.
I grabbed my phone and found him under GAY FUCKER, in my contacts list. The phone rang once, and he picked up.
"Hello….Bella….is that you? Are you ok…I hav-"I cut him off.
"Look Anthony, I am only calling to tell you I am alive and well…and I would like you to stop calling me and my friends." I said in monotone.
"Bella what the hell is going on? You are all over the news, with that James guy and….I mean what's the deal?" he was upset. Excuse me you ass!!?
"DON'T YOU DARE!"
"Look Bella, I don't know what you think is going on between Tanya and I, and I am not sure what you think you are doing…but ignoring everyone that loves you is stupid, and you are being extremely reckless, You don't know what you are doing and you aren't that kinda girl…you shouldn't be hanging around that James guy" I took calming breaths, as he told me what he thought in a hurried run on sentence. He really didn't deserve this, but I wanted to collect my thoughts before I told him what I thought about him.
I took a deep breath before telling him what was boiling in the pit of my stomach. "let me tell you a little something about YOURSELF that you may not be aware of Antony Fucking Masen….your gay, you lie, you cheat, and your a fake motherfucker….so don't you dare tell me that I have no idea what I am doing, or that I'm not that kinda girl, because honey, you clearly don't even know who you are, so don't try to tell me who I am!…so why don't you take your egomaniacal, I secretly like that people don't understand me, pompous, I want to seem like a tortured artist but I'm too shallow, man-flop wearing, my mommy probably dresses me, king of douche-baggery, I am gay and I don't know it bullshit, and shovel it somewhere else! Cuz Anthony, I don't need it nor do I want it! Don't call me, don't call my friends! Is that too much to remember, or do I need to write it down for you…..(two seconds of Silence) Good! Uh, bah-bye now" And with that I hung up. Successfully shutting Anthony Masen from my life, and officially breaking my heart into so many pieces it may never be able to mend.
"Uh, B…you know that you are going to be seeing him in like three weeks right? AWW! FUCK ME! Why can't I just never see him again? Ugh!
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me…shit!" I guess I was so worked up I forgot I was going to do a movie with him, soon.
"Its alright B, you have three weeks to get your shit together" Jake said as he got up and squeezed my shoulder in encouragement.
"Thanks Jake, you sound so optimistic!" I said sarcastically.
"I try" He said as he smiled at me through the mirror.
Jake and I headed to set after that. He took up residence by the food table as I walked over to James and the director. "Hey Marie, how are you this morning?"
"I'm great thanks" I smiled.
"Good, so, I was telling James that we were going to have to re-shoot the scene we did yesterday….damn continuity errors"
"Guess we have a long day ahead of us (sigh)…alright so were do you want me?"
"You and James right over there…give me a few minutes and we'll start ok"?"
"No problem" I smiled sweetly. Then James and I, went and got in our positions.
"So Alice's "OR ELSE" roared it's pretty head this morning?"
"You have no idea" I rolled my eyes. And before we could continue the conversation, the director yelled "action". It seemed that James and I weren't destined to ever finish that conversation. We worked almost non-stop all day, not even stopping for a lunch break. Finally at 7:00pm, we had finished. I slipped off the set, while James was talking to the director. Jake walked with me back to my trailer, so I could grab my purse and lap top. We headed to my truck. Yeah, he just helped himself to my things….but I love him, so it's ok. When I heard James holler from behind us.
"Marie wait up!" I cringed once I had heard him, for two reasons. I hadn't explained to him what had actually gone down this morning, and I had never heard so much suppressed anger in his voice before.
"Hey J" I said as I spun around towards his approaching form.
"Where the hell are you going and who is this dude?" James said, not disrespectfully to Jake, but in a protective, possessive way towards me.
"Oh, James, this is-" Jake cut me off.
"This dude's name is Jake, and she will no longer need ANY of your services" Jake practically snarled.
"She's a grown woman, and if she wants ANY of MY services, she has the right to them! Now, come on Bella we're going home" James said as he grabbed my arm. It actually shocked me to see him this way. That "creepiness" that he had when we first met, hadn't made an appearance til now. And now that it had resurfaced, I was terrified of him.
"Listen buddy…why don't you take your hands off her and just walk away" Jake was trying to be civil, but he was growing more and more angry as James continued to squeeze my arm.
"AND, Who the hell are you!" James questioned.
"Jake….I already said that!" Jake was loosing his patience.
"Pft…Jake who?" James was being cocky, but determined.
"You see (Jake gave a menacing smile)…the fact that you have no idea who I am concerns me James, let alone the bruises, I am sure you are giving her" Jake's eyes were dark with fury. James let go of my arm and whispered sorry.
"Yeah? Well, I am one of Marie's closest friends, and the idea of you speaking for her concerns me, IKNOWwhat she needs, and she NEEDS to come with me" Ok, now I am officially scared of James….the sweet, caring…stay with me as long as you need…James……now it just sounds like, you are mine, and your never leaving…James…..how do I get rid of him without, ending up with a stalker that may or may not kill me?….Dear Baby Jesus, please forgive me for being so blind!
"Listen James…I am Marie's BEST FRIEND, I have known her since she was born, and we hadn't spent a day from each other until she moved here…clearly you don't know her well enough to know that, and well, if you were an actual friend you would…but you don't… Now, I didn't believe Alice, when she said that all this mess has a lot to do with you, but I can see where your relationship with Marie WAS headed; and I don't like it. SO….we will follow you to your house, she will get her stuff, and she will be going home. She will no longer being "hanging" out with you, unless it is something that is in her contract with the production company….I really hope we aren't going to have a problem here….OH, and if you think that I am just going to leave, and you just have to bide your time, your wrong…..I am here until she leaves to Tennessee. And I have no problem coming back if I have to…NOW, do WE, have an understanding?" Jake smiled brightly at James, knowing he had officially removed him from my life, as much as he could, legally. James' face was red with fury.
"This isn't what you want, is it?" His eyes were pleading. Baby Jesus, give me the strength and the words!
"J…you have been great, and I know you care for me, and I appreciate that, and I care for you too (but you creep me the fuck out, and you might be a psycho…focus Bella)…I know you don't really understand this and I'm sorry…..It's just that, Jake knows me better than I know myself half the time, and if he thinks I should go home, and that our friendship is…lets say…damaging?…Then I am going to trust him…..I'm so sorry, and I hope you can understand" I pleaded as I gave him a reassuring hug. Ewww! I got crazy on me! I need a bath.
"I'm here for you if you change your mind….I think that we really could be good together Rocky" He seemed so sad.
"Thanks J….and I'll keep that in mind" Yeah right…..not after I have seen your rue colors….Ted Bundy.
"Alright, well, I'm only a phone call away" Or standing outside my window, smelling my hair brush!
"Why don't follow me to the apartment…or you could leave your stuff there….I think you might reconsider after your meeting with Mary tomorrow" He smirked. I was about to question him when Jake interrupted.
"NO, we'll follow you" And with that Jake motioned me to get in the truck. We followed James to his apartment, and I grabbed the little amount of stuff that I had. James told me I could keep my favorite track suit, the grey one. But Jake told him no thanks. It kinda pissed me off; Jake was overstepping his bounds, but I still had a debt to repay so I sucked it up. Plus, Jake was extremely angry while we were around James, and I didn't want to provoke him.
Once Jake and I got home, we sat down to a "Alice style" home cooked meal (it was catered). The conversation was forced at first, but by the time we had finished eating, everything was back to normal. Alice received a phone call from her mother, stating that she would like to see me before I went to work in the morning. Which we all thought was weird. But, I was dying to figure out James' cryptic comment.
After dinner I went upstairs to my room, I had not been in it for a long time, and I had missed it. I have loved my room from the moment I saw it, and walking in to it, just made me happy. The pictures that now covered the walls, reminded me how much I'm loved. The pictures that Jake had sent to Esme, were now accompanied by new photos of my friends. Next to the picture of my first fishing trip with Charlie, was my first night out with Alice. Next to the picture of Jake and I on my pond, was a picture of Emmett and I playing poker with Jasper. There was even a new picture of Emmett and Rosalie hanging on the wall. I was lost in memories, when Jake appeared by my side.
"Hey B, how are you doing?"
"I feel like such an ass…how could I have done that to them" I said as I pointed at pictures of my friends.
"We all understand, and forgive you….because we love you B" He pulled me into a hug.
"I know…..I just wished I would have stopped and looked around…but I didn't Jake! I just wanted to be numb….that was all I could focus on……being numb" I choked on my words.
"Well, I'm here and everything is going to be ok…tomorrow morning, we will sort out some stuff with Alice's mom, and everything will be fine…..why don't you go take a shower and go to bed?" Jake kissed the top of my head.
"Will you sleep with me tonight?" I looked up at him with.
"Well, B I would love to, but I am with Leah….I don't think she would take to kindly to us getting it on" He smirked.
"Fuck you Jake, you know what I mean" I punched him in the arm. He knew that I just needed him to lay next to me ; that I needed the familiar snore that would escape his mouth throughout the night.
I took a long hot shower, and then went to bed early. It wasn't just that I hadn't gotten more than four hours of sleep a night for the past three weeks, that I slept so good. No, it was having Jake lying next to me, telling me that everything was going to be ok, and would work out, and that he loved me. I hadn't realized how much I missed him, we had been inseparable for so long, and now…..well I had ignored him for three weeks; a lot had changed in our friendship. But the way he could make my darkest day seem clear and bright, would never change. How, no matter where I was, if he was there, it felt like home. How cuddling like we had throughout our lives, always reminded me of how close we truly were. And as I drifted to sleep, hearing that familiar snore; I actually felt like I was going to be ok, and that everything was going to work out.
AWWWWW…Jake rocks! Review please and I will post chapter 25 tomorrow if, I receive over 15 reviews! PS. A rough and ready lemon lurks in the future! (As forced by my friend Nellie!, she says it's amazing and makes her tingle!!!)