Well well well….its seems I have my first fanatic! And I love it! All of you who are adding me as fav author or fav story aren't reviewing….and just like LastRedAppleStanding said your GAY! Yes I said it….BITE ME!...Anywho, you all should start kissing LastRedAppleStanding's ass because the review was hilarious and…desperate enough that I decided to post the next chapter today, even though I did not recive over 15 reviews! SHAME ON YOU!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!! So, this goes out to LastRedAppleStanding who said this chapter was needed immediately, since this story is her life!
Chapter. 25 Alice is One Scary Pixie!
"Good morning beautiful, how was your night, mine was wonderful with you by my side, and when I open my eyes to see your sweet face, it's a good morning beautiful day" Jake was singing to wake me up.
"Ugh…your still here?"
"Zip it"
"You're the one singing"
"I am, and I am singing it to my B, how much better can it get?"
"You could be singing it to Leah?" I said with my face down in the pillow.
"Oh I do sing it to Leah….you two are the most beautiful girls I have ever seen"
"Stuff it Jake"
"I have been" he snickered.
"LORD! I rather you sing to me, than hear about you and Leah getting it on!" I groaned.
"Your just jealous that your not my one and only" He said while running his fingers through my hair.
"Jealous? NO! thrilled YES!"
"Come on B"
"No really I am really happy for you Jake….I'm a little scared that it is Leah, but trust me…it takes a lot of pressure off me, knowing that someone is loving you the way I wished I could"
"You'll always have a part of my heart, just not all of it anymore…..I'd say…49% of it" he began to laugh, but I knew he was telling the truth. He was in love with Leah, and even though he currently loved me deeper; she loved him in a way that I couldn't. He could love her the way he loved me, but, she was able to return that same kind of love; so, in turn, she now possessed more of his heart. And I would be forever in debt to her, because he deserved to be loved the way he had loved me.
"And I will always love you" I sat up and kissed his cheek. He grabbed me into a big bear hug.
"Now go get ready, and I'll make you some breakfast, I think you need a little country put back in ya"
"I'm not having sex with you Jake" I laughed and jumped out of bed, he chased me to my bathroom, but I got there faster than him and was able to shut and lock the door. I placed my hands and face against the door, while giggling. He was standing right on the other side.
"FUNNY B….real funny…(he got quiet, his hand landed softly on the door) B?…I'm sorry I kinda, took over your life yesterday….I only did it cuz I was scared for you……………….I've never seen you so….. lost….but no worries B, I'll bring you back…… if it's the last thing I do, I'll bring you back" And with that he left the room. I slid down the door, inside the bathroom and began crying. I was lost…..and I hadn't noticed it until this moment….I had been slowly loosing myself ever since Mary, become my agent….her changing my name and giving me a persona, was supposed to give me personal freedom; instead, it began to change who I was. And when Anthony did what he did, I lost the only parts of me that were still there, my innocence; the ability to love and live with no restraints. My heart; the ability to love like I had never been hurt. And my soul' the ability to know exactly who I was deep down inside, and be content with that. I had lost myself completely.
I had known yesterday, that Jake was doing what he thought, was best for me, but I hadn't realized that he was scared, he had lost me. I hadn't realized, that I had done exactly what Jake had asked me not to do, the day I left…. "Don't let anyone change who you are B, don't forget your roots….(he laughed) the world has enough "California girls", but the world only has one Isabella…only one amazing, intelligent, beautiful, pure, sarcastic, witty, Isabella. You are the perfect woman, and I would hate for you to loose yourself"
God I had messed up…BAD! And now with the love and support of my closest friends, I was going to make this right. I made a vow to myself to do whatever Jake asks me to do, for the next three weeks. I owed it to him, I owed it to Jasper, Alice, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jane, and Alec. But above all, I owed it to myself. And I knew that if anyone could put me back together and bring BELLA back, it was Jake, and I was ready for it.
I showered and got dressed, by the time I got down stairs, Jake had a full breakfast made. Hash browns, biscuits, gravy, eggs, bacon, sausage, and grits. I sat down at the table with him, Jasper and Alice, and began to eat, and so did they.
"It's nice to have breakfast again with you, even if it's going to make me gain ten pounds" Alice smiled sweetly, and motioned as if she was blowing up like a balloon.
"I'm sorry you guys, I really am" I bowed my head in disgrace.
"Hey none of that, we understand…you got your heart broken, everyone is entitled to go a little crazy after that" Jasper winked at me.
"Yeah, but I shouldn't have gone A-wall" I smack my forehead in disgrace and irritation.
"Bella, you got your heart broken in the worst way…you gave up…we understand" Alice said sadly, as she reached out for my hand as a sign of comfort.
"No, I didn't give up…I don't think I can ever just GIVE up…..what happened with Anthony was….well, he's and ass ( I growled in frustration)…oh never mind, it sucks now….but, that doesn't mean I am just going to GIVE up!….and besides (I wiggled my eyebrows) as long as "you know who is out there" I'll never give up on love" I half joked. I still was in love with the man I never knew, and as long as he was out there, I truly believed I still had a chance at love. I know it's immature of me to think so, but, fuck you! It was love at first sight, or in my case…sight of nose and mouth…oooooohhhh and carhart pants….purrr
"Snap out of that McHottie fantasy, Bella, you just dumped, eggs down the front of your shirt. You probably should go change your shirt and panties" Alice giggled.
"Leave my panties out of it Branden" I scowled trying not to giggle myself.
"No talk of panties at the table ladies" Jasper said in his best Esme voice, which caused a fit of laughter.
"McHottie?" Jake questioned.
"Yeah, you know…McHottie, the love of Bella's life" Alice giggled again as she rolled her eyes.
"Who? Do I know him? This is the first time I have ever heard McHottie" Jake said suspiciously.
"It's nothing Jake" I eyed Alice.
"Oh, come on! McHottie…..PURRR!…McHottie?…carharts?…lips?….seriously? Jake! The guy Bella has been secretly in love with for over four years, the one who's name she never thought to ask?" She was taunting me now.
"I have heard the name, but never who he was" Jasper interjected. I slammed my head against the table.
"Lord help me, Baby Jesus….please stop this" I whispered against the hard wood next to my lips. I started singing a song in my head.
"I am sure you both have heard the name, but the person….well, only Bella knows him…well, kinda…but I am sure if you ask, she can tell you what color his eyes are…wait no she can't….ok, ok the breathtaking color of his hair….oh, again she can't….ooooohh but she can tell you about his nose, and lips (giggle)….and that his accent just made her want to jump him…and that-" I cut her off
"Can we make fun of Bella later" I said as I continued singing "tootsie roll" in my head and beating my head onto the top of the table to the beat. WHAT? Like you wouldn't try to get away from this conversation too? I'm mortified! No one really knew about McHottie except for Alice, and Emmett, but only Alice knows how obsessed I truly am. And "Tootsie Roll" Can get your mind off anything.
"B, how come in never heard about McHottie?" Jake questioned
"To the left, to left, to the right to the right…slide slide slide, baby" I wasn't looking at anything but the table and mumbling the words.
"What the hell are you talking about B?"
"She is singing "Tootsie Roll" in her head, come on Jake, couldn't you tell by the beat her head was banging against the table" Alice was laughing so hard she may have to change her panties, but for a whole other reason.
"Why are we talking about "Tootsie Roll"?, I want to hear the story" Jasper said almost too sweetly.
"He's her other half" Alice said while using air quotes.
"Ok seriously, make sense, please" Jake laughed and Jasper coughed to cover up a laugh. "The piece of southern man candy she met?….oh come on you guys…he's Bella but with a penis?" Alice was loving this way too much, and dragging it out just for shit and giggles.
"Please stop for all things holy!" I begged, while tugging on my hair, and turning bright red, from embarrassment.
"WAIT! (he began laughing) The guy you talk to on the plane when you first came to California?" Jake laughed, Jasper starting choking on his food.
"Jaz are you ok?" Alice asked frantically while patting him on the back.
"Uh, yeah….yeah…I just inhaled with eggs in my mouth, wrong pipe" He smiled sheepishly. And patted Alice's arm with his right hand. She looked down to his hand and caught sight of his watch.
"Oh shit! Everyone chow down, we have to leave in ten minutes" Alice sang as she scooted back from the table and walked, plate in hand, to the kitchen.
We all hurried through the rest of our meal, and scurried to the truck. MY TRUCK; I hadn't driven it in months. I figured that this was a small step of many, that Jake had in his "save Bella" plan. I had forgotten how much fun it was to drive my truck through LA. With the windows tinted, the stereo blasting, and the roar of not only my engine, but my meaty tires, this truck caught everyone's eye. We all sang along with the radio until we arrived at Mary's building. We all took a collective breath as we walked into Mary's office.
"Good morning Mary" I said sweetly.
"Morning Marie….I see you brought the posse?" She questioned.
"Yes, she did…she brought her lawyer, her assistant, and her………bodyguard….but most importantly she brought her friends" Alice snapped. Whoa! Feel that tension people, you could cut it with a knife…..shit is about to go down!…but why?
"Alice, this meeting is between Marie and I" Mary said smugly.
"You mean BELLA, and you" Alice and Jake said in unison.
"Anyways" Mary said dismissively while waving her hand about.
"Look Mary I know I have acted crazy these past few weeks, but I promise you, I have gotten it out of my system" I said, getting straight to the point of this meeting.
"Yes, MARIE…that IS why I called you in today"
"If you could not yell at me, and make me feel like a total ass, that would be great, I already, feel completely horrible…."
"Well, I wanted to talk to you about that….it seems that, your new found, shall we say….fondness for James, had the media in a frenzy. And I have looked into it, and well….it seems that the public likes this new Marie" WHAT? Ummm, I'm sorry can you repeat that….I'm not sure what you are saying.
"NO!" Alice shouted. Mary's head whipped in her direction.
"EXCUSE ME?"
"NO MOTHER!"
"Hi….ummm, I don't know what we are yelling about and I actually like yelling, soooo….can somebody tell me why I should start?" I interjected, feeling completely lost.
"Alice if you can't keep your opinions to yourself, I will have you escorted out of my office" Mary said sternly. "Now, Marie"
"BELLA!" Everyone shouted. Mary ignored them and continued.
"See sweetie, the public, likes that Emmett's sweet as cherry pie baby sister, is wild….so I decided that we are going to explore that" Mary smiled encouragingly at me.
"I'm sorry, I'm still lost, should I be yelling?" I was trying to make a joke.
"Yes" Jasper hissed in a low menacing tone. Mary scowled in his direction. I was still incompetently lost.
"Look….you are the good girl gone bad…people love it! And they are starting to see you as a…sex symbol….so I think it would be extremely beneficial to you career if you stayed on the path your on"
"But, I don't want to drink and party like that anymore….at least not every night like I was…..and lets be truthfuly here, I am not nor will I ever be viewed as a "SEX SYMBOL" I mean really" I rolled my eyes.
"Hey your hot" Jake piped in.
"I'd do ya …ouch! If I wasn't with the love of my life of course" Jasper said quietly as he rubbed his shin.
"Lets keep on track here Marie"
"BELLA!" everyone shouted again. I was begining to feel like a puppy, stuck in the middle of two people calling out my name; confussed on what exactly I was supposed to do.
"What the hell ever! Anyway, that's fine, if you don't want to "party" hard anymore…you'll just have to go out a few times, to keep the image going, and…..I think that we are going to re-shoot the photo's for "Scratches"…the idea came to me this morning, I think it would be beneficial for not only the movie but you and James….se I was thinking we'll have you and James do a few, spicier ones"
"Like what?"
"Oh you know, the normal stuff, just maybe with a little less clothing"
"Less clothing…?" I was feeling uneasy and annoyed.
"Ok here is what I have envisioned…..you covered by a black silk sheet, laying across James' chest…see nothing to "out there"…?"
"I don't do nude pictures Mary"
"I know, but you wouldn't technically be nude" She smiled proudly.
"But-" She cut me off, and I was stunned.
"Listen….you made your bed now you'll have to lie in it, if we don't embrace this new image, I am not sure what will happen to your career" I want my career! I love my Career! But I don't do nude! But it's nude or career….nude?…career?…nude….
"Bella is not posing Naked, or covered up with a sheet" Jake said walking up to my side. Oh thank you baby Jesus, I was about to give in…
"I'm sorry?…and you are?" Mary looked pissed.
"A person that is sick of listening to you try and force Bella into something she doesn't wan to do" Jake sneered.
"I'm not forcing anything" Mary stated.
"Mary you have, slowly added or taken away parts of Bella's identity….I have known her, her whole life, and when I got here yesterday, I barely knew who standing in front of me…and this morning, my Bella….my B, was starting to shine through, until she stepped into this office….. Nobody, especially you is going to change her anymore, whatever "plans" you have are no longer feasible….this (he waved at me) is not going to happen anymore" He said, protectively.
"Bella has asked me to be her agent, I decide what is best for her career, that is my JOB….and if I tell her to pose in a freaking bear suit she will do it if she knows what is good for her, and I don't need some….nobody…telling me or my client what to do…so if you have more to say, then I can and will have you escorted out of the building….now do WE have and understanding Jake?" she spit his name out as if it was a bad taste in her mouth.
"LISTEN HERE MARY-" Jake was shaking with fury.
"NO YOU LISTEN HERE, MISTER!" Mary's eyes were on fire. I was in shock.
"Oh lord! Now you've done it" Jasper sighed as Alice screeched from his side.
"ENOUGH!" Alice screamed, and then stormed behind her mother's desk.
"Alice, what are you do-" Alice cut Mary off.
" I am so sick and tired of your SHIT! I have forgiven you and made excuses for you my entire life. You have never been a mother to me, and you never will, I can't even hope that someday you will, because I don't even want it anymore! I pretended that it didn't hurt, that I never was hurt…..having my parents ditch me on important holidays was ok…that my parents missing my graduation was ok, that them not showing up to the hospital when I was hurt was ok, that being on my own with nothing other than nanies, until I was 16 was ok, that eating dinner at a huge table in my childhood home by myself was ok, and paying actors to be my parents when my prom date came to pick me up was ok……my whole life I have lied to myself and to others, when you weren't there knowing all along I was just this obligation you paid other people to deal with, I am not important to you hurts, and it does, it does hurt! It has always hurt…but I always tried to protect YOU, I always lied, for YOU…..You are a selfish BITCH!" Alice was screaming and poking her mother with her finger.
"Alice honey, this is a personal matter and has nothing to do with the current situation, if you want to talk-"Alice cut Mary off again.
"IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION! You can ditch me for Christmas, you can not call or see me for months at a time, you can put your career and life before me, BUT I WILL BE DAMNED IF YOU ARE GOING TO FUCK WITH BELLA! She has shown me more love and compassion in the few years I have known her, than you have my whole fucking life! I told her she could trust you, because I thought she could. But I believed my own lies about you! I told her that you weren't a "good" mother, because all your mothering floated to your Job. But I was wrong! You are a poor excuse for a mother and an even poorer excuse for an agent. You pushed Bella and Anthony together, knowing that they were going to fall for each other, planning all along, for him to go to New York and work with Tanya! When you told Anthony he had to "up" the publicity with Tanya, he told you no, and you pulled this same shit on him! Yeah! I KNOW your dirty little secrets!….It's sad really, because, Anthony didn't have US, there for him, to protect him, while you spun that horrid web! DOES EVERYONE WANT TO KNOW WHAT OTHER EVIL THINGS SHE HAS DONE? (Alice's eyes were ablaze and her arms were waving around dramatically, pointing and shaking)….You sent James to Bella's trailer, OH I KNOW YOU DID, SNEAKY SNAKE! Oh not only did you send him to her trailer but you sent him with that magazine, knowing it would destroy her, and that she would reach out to the nearest person. You encouraged her relationship with James, putting not only Bella's career and reputation at stake, but endangering her life! JAMES IS FUCKING CRAZY! Now you want Bella to continue this dangerous lifestyle and degrade herself but posing practically nude! YOU HAVE TO BE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!" Alice finally took a breath, Mary sat in utter shock.
"Alice honey, breathe" Jasper started walking towards her.
"BREATHE? FUCKING BREATHE? OH I. do. Not. Think. So. Jasper Whitlock Cullen! This BITCH (she pointed at her mother) has had this coming for A LONG fucking time! And I have waited a long time to tell her all of this….but this isn't about me right now….so….you listen here MOMMY DEAREST! Bella is done playing your games! She is no longer MARIE….MARIE is DEAD….fucking gone, never to be heard from again, rolled up in a fucking rug and sitting at the bottom of a fucking lake! She (she pointed at me) is going to be Bella…. The Burping Farting Cussing, ratty jeans wearing, awesome fucking okie ass redneck BELLA, the person WE all know and love…and another thing! So listen the fuck up….YOU ARE going to work your little voodoo magic with the public to get them to love her just the way she is, the way she is SUPPOSED to be. No more Marie McCarty innocent or wild….SHE IS A FUCKING HUMAN BEING! She is Bella, the kindest, sweetest, most loving person I have ever known, and a person you should consider yourself lucky enough to even stand in her presence of. SO, you are done fucking with her! NOW, DO WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING?" Alice's hand was on her hip, and to tell the truth, that pixie was scarring the shit out of me. Mary looked like she was trying to figure out if she wanted run away or cry.
"Uh…Mar- Bella? Is this….are you….is that what you want?" she was terrified.
"Yes" I whispered, afraid to wake the beast within Alice.
"then I'll"
"You will what MOTHER?"
"I'll will do the best I can, to help…..I think a four page spread, interview would be a good idea…..maybe we can use some pictures of you from your childhood….I'll put something together……uh…do-don't worry, I-I'll make this work" Mary smiled at me even though, her eyes read terror.
"AND?" Alice questioned as if she was annoyed.
"I" Mary was shaking her head in confusion.
"YOU. ARE. SORRY." Alice sneered her encouragement.
"of course, I am sorry Alice, I-"
"OH. HELL. NO. don't apologize to me, you haven't earned the right to apologize to ME. But you owe her one" Alice smiled brightly at me and winked. It would have been cute and sweet but it was as sweet looking as a chucky doll!
"Bella, I am sorry I tried to change you, I am sorry I was underhanded and disgraceful. You truly are an amazing person and I am sorry I tried to deconstruct that….And Alice, I hope we can talk about everything else-" Alice cut her off.
"Not right now, I need time" Alice said as she smiled at her mother, straightened her clothes, took a deep breath and then walked to Jasper's side. She grabbed his hand, and he lifted it up to his lips. Alice's eyes changed from fire to pure white light. Her whole face changed from scary "chucky" Alice, to pretty little fairy Alice.
"Oh, look at the time, we need to be going" Alice chirped, as if nothing happened.
None of us said another word as we walked out of Mary's office. I looked over at Jasper, and realized he was trying not to laugh. I looked at Alice, she had the biggest smile I had ever seen her have. Then I looked at Jake and saw that he was biting his top lip. Once we all got outside Jake yelled, "Fuck yeah Pixie! I couldn't have said it better."
"Thanks, that felt AMAZING" Alice sang jumping up and down.
"Hey Alice, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked her as I grabbed her hand and lead her away from the guys.
Once we weren't within an ear shot I whispered to her," I am so proud of you Alice! I knew deep down inside that you weren't as ok with your whole parental situation as you put off, and I'm glad you finally got to tell her how you feel, even with the circumstances as they are. I just wanted to thank you for standing up for me, it means a lot…and you mean a lot, to me, I couldn't have found a better person to be my "friend-sister"…" I grabbed her into a tight hug.
"Sister? Really? (she squealed and hugged me back)……But , really Bella, I should be apologizing to you…I saw what was happening and I just pretended it wasn't happening because I was selfish. I was so wound up in the fact that my mother wanted me around, that I allowed her to treat you like she did. You said you didn't trust her, but that you trusted me, and I betrayed that trust, for my own selfish reasons, I am so sorry Bella will you ever forgive me?" She looked up at me with her big puppy-dog eyes.
"Of course and not because of your un-beatable puppy-dog eyes, but because it wasn't your fault, and you made it up to me in the end…oh and because you scare the shit out of me" I began to laugh.
"Yeah, you scared of me…pft…..anyway, I wanted to tell you something, I was going to wait until we had a little more time alone, but this is as good as any…..Bella…..I really think that you should try to be with Jake ( I started to object and she held her hand up) just let me finish….I have seen you and Jake interact a lot in the time we have been friends, but I always understood your feelings and stuff, but….geez Bella, the fact that he came here no questions asked….I mean he left everything, including his current girlfriend and just flew out here….look what I am trying to say is that, I know you have like….tried, before, but…I just don't think you could ever find anyone, better than him…and you deserve to have someone who treats you as well as he does, and loves you like he does. Just think about it" She took a deep breathe, afraid that I was going to go off on her.
I whispered back, "Alice, I know I will probably never find anyone better than Jake, I know that no one will probably ever love me as much as Jake…and I WANT to want him like that….TRUST ME I do, it breaks my heart…. it's just that I can't" I pleaded.
"So it will never happen then, with you and Jake I mean?" Alice questioned, clearly concerned.
"I don't know, I mean…..I know it's shitty to say, but he is like my back up" Alice raised an eyebrow.
"That's really shitty Bella"
"Look, it's just that, I know that if in five, ten years if I haven't found that…..person….well, he'll be there, I have never asked him to wait for me, but I know he will, no matter how many times I have told him not to….and that even though I don't love him in that way….it wouldn't be so bad…Marrying Jake and having kids with Jake, would be amazing, but lonely at the same time, I would have everything and nothing at the same time…..I just really feel like my other half is out there, and that I deserve a chance at true happiness, not just mediocre happiness" I sighed, knowing how self absorbed and disgusting I was being.
"You aren't seriously talking about McHottie are you?" YES! Of course I am, because I am creepy and fucked up like that!
"No, but….you never know….I have never felt that kind of connection with anyone before, and the only person that has ever came close….well forget about it….anyway, I love Jake…I love him dearly, but it's not fair to live a lie with him, and allow him to believe it….I love him too much for that and he deserves better…"
"But he is your back up?" Alice was annoyed.
"Well its not something I am like planning on….it's just more of a….like a….like a safety net I guess"
"Okay okay, I get it….it still sounds awful though" Alice grimaced.
"I know and I sicken myself…but I do kinda hope that maybe one day, I'll wake up and feel like Jake IS my other half, "the love of my life"….It would make us BOTH happy…"I sighed in frustration.
"GIRLS! Are you about done?" Jasper yelled over to us. Alice glared in his direction.
"Hey, Hey, hey, don't piss her off, she is scary!" Jake laughed.
"Damn straight!" Alice laughed.
"Anyway, Alice just, thanks for everything, and I love you"
"Love you too Bells, (she turned around and started towards the truck)…Now, why can't I have a conversation without being interrupted?" She sang.
"Ummm….Bella is going to be late" Jasper said nervously.
"Calm down there Jazzy Jazz, it isn't like she is going to hurt you" I laughed.
"Did you not see how she handled her mother back there?" Jasper laughed.
"I guess you have a point there Jazz…I thought her head was going to start spinning and she was going to start puking green shit!"
"No doubt! I expected lasers to shoot from her eyes, and her to levitate there at the end…remind me to NEVER piss her off" Jake laughed.
"Can we stop talking about Alice's WWE verbal smack down, and get Southern-bells here to work?" Asked Jasper as he held the passenger door open.
"OOOOHHHHH, you get to be yourself Bella, are you excited! OOOOHHH I bet people freak out! Well, not James, but like EVERYONE else! How exciting, I can't wait to see there faces! OOOOHH! This means we can go shopping for a new wardrobe, and-" I cut her off.
"Chill Alice, lets just wait for your mother to get her shit together and then we will take it from there, ok?" I asked exasperated.
"Alright, alright" She said as Jasper lifted her into the backseat of the truck, and followed after her. I climbed into the drivers seat and turned towards Jake in the passenger seat.
"Thanks for coming Jake….I already feel more like Bella" I said as I reached for his hand.
"I'll always be there for you B…You are still my world" He said as he squeezed my hand. My eyes began to tear up, as I pulled out of the parking lot. Why can't I just love him, why can't he be what I need?
What did you think? I loved it! Thanks again LastRedAppleStanding……and if you all want the next chapter, get reviewing…I can post tomorrow if I get enough reviews or at least one that make me laugh my ass off! Or maybe I should start emailing parts of the next chapters to my best and funniest reviews……yeah, give me your email when you review, if it makes me pee myself I'll email you part of the next chapter! But if I get more than 15 reviews I'll post tomorrow and email the next chapter! Start writing people!