Act Second, Scene One, Part Two

(Everything is back the way it was before. Ziggy and Dillon are tied up and dangling from the catwalk.)

Dax:

All right- we're starting with Oberon's line after Titania's big speech.

Oberon/Dustin:

Do you amend it then; it lies in you.

Why should Titania cross her Oberon?

I do but beg a little changeling boy,

To be my henchdude.

Titania/Syd:

Set your heart at rest;

The fairy land buys not the child of me.

His mother was a votaress of my order:

And, in the spiced Indian air, by night,

Full often hath she gossip'd by my side,

And sat with me on Neptune's yellow sands,

Marking the embarked traders on the flood;

When we have laugh'd to see the sails conceive

And grow big-bellied with the wanton wind;

Which she, with pretty and with swimming gait

Following, -her womb then rich with my young squire,-

Would imitate, and sail upon the land,

To fetch me trifles, and return again,

As from a voyage, rich with merchandise.

But she, being mortal, of that boy did die;

And for her sake I do rear up her boy,

And for her sake I will not part with him.

Oberon/Dustin:

How long within this wood intend you stay?

Titania/Syd:

Perchance, till after Theseus' wedding-day.

If you will patiently dance in our round,

And see our moonlight revels, go with us;

If not, shun me, and I will spare your haunts.

Oberon/Dustin:

Give me that little dude, and I will go with thee.

Titania/Syd:

Not for thy fairy kingdom. Fairies, away!

We shall chide downright, if I longer stay.

(Titania and her people, including Fairy/Lily, leave.)

Oberon/Titania:

Well, go thy way: thou shalt not from this grove

Till I torment thee for this injury.

My gentle dude, come hither. Thou remember'st

Since once I sat upon a promontory,

And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back

Uttering such dulcet and harmonius breath,

That the rude sea grew civil at her song,

And certain stars shot madly from their spheres

To hear the sea-maid's music.

Puck/Bridge:

I remember.

Oberon/Dustin:

That very time I saw, but thou couldst not,

Flying between the cold moon and the earth,

Cupid all arm'd: a certain aim he took

At a fair vestal throned by the west,

And loos'd his love-shaft smartly from his bow,

As it should pierce a hundred thousand hearts;

But I might see young Cupid's fiery shaft

Quench'd in the chaste beams of the wat'ry moon.

And the imperial votaress passed on,

In maiden meditation, fancy-free.

Yet mark'd I where the bolt of Cupid fell:

It fell upon a little western flower,

Before milk-white, now purple with love's wound,

And dudettes call it Love-in-idleness.

Fetch me that flower; the herb I show'd thee once:

The juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid

Will make or dude or dudette madly dote

Upon the next live creature that it sees.

Fetch me this herb; and thou here again

Ere the leviathan can swim a league.

Bottom/Ziggy:

Uh, just wondering. When will I get down from here? 'Cause, as I recall, I have a big scene coming up.

Dr. K.:

You and Ranger Series Operator Black will come down when the two of you are needed and no sooner, Ranger Operator Series Green.

Puck/Bridge:

I'll put a girdle round the earth

In forty minutes.

(Puck/Bridge exits.)

Oberon/Dustin:

Having once this juice,

I'll watch Titania when she is asleep,

And drop the liquor of it in her eyes:

The next thing then she waking looks upon,

Be it on lion, bear, or wolf, or bull,

On meddling monkey, or on busy ape,

She shall pursue it with the soul of love:

And ere I take this charm off from her sight,

As I can take it with another herb,

I'll make her render up her dude to me.

But who comes here? I am invisible,

And I will over their conference.

(Demetrius/Conner enters, followed by Helena/Vida.)

Demetrius/Conner:

I love thee not, therefore pursue me not.

Where is Lysander and fair Hermia?

The one I'll slay, the other slayeth me.

Thou told'st me they were stol'n into this wood;

And here am I, and wood withn this wood,

Because I cannot meet my Hermia.

Hence! get thee gone, and follow me no more.

Helena/Vida:

You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant:

But yet you draw not iron, not my heart

Is true as steel: leave you your power to draw,

And I shall have no power to follow you.

Demetrius/Conner:

Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair?

Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth

Tell you I do not nor I cannot love you?

Helena/Vida:

And even for that do I love you the more.

I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius,

The more you beat me, I will fawn on you:

Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me,

Neglect me, lose me; only give me leave,

Unworthy as I am, to follow you.

(aside)

Man, this gal needs self-esteem.

(back in character)

What worser place can I beg in your love,

And yet a place of high respect with me,

Than to be used as you use your dog?

Demetrius/Conner:

Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit,

For I am sick when I do look on you.

Helena/Vida:

And I am sick when I look not on you.

Demetrius/Conner:

You do impeach your modesty too much,

To leave the city, and commit yourself

Into the hands of one that loves you not;

To trust the opportunity of night

And the ill counsel of a desert place

With the rich worth of your virginity.

Hang on, I thought I jumped you.

Helena/Vida:

Apparently not.

Your virtue is my privilege; for that

It is not night when I do see your face,

Therefore I think I am not in the night;

Nor doth this wood lack worlds of company,

For you in my respect are all the world:

Then how can it be said I am alone,

When all the world is here to look on me?

(Dax looks up. Neither Ziggy nor Dillon are there, but the rope is still there and still knotted.)

Dax:

Hold on! Where are Ziggy and Dillon?

(Helena/Vida rolls her eyes.)

Helena/Vida:

They'll show up eventually. Until then, your turn Conner.

Conner/Demetrius:

I'll run from thee and hide me in the brakes,

And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts.

Helena/Vida:

The wildest hath not such a heart as you.

Run when you will, the story shall be chang'd;

Apollo flies, and Daphne holds the chase;

The dove pursues the griffin; the mild hind

Makes speed to catch the tiger; bootless speed,

When cowardice pursues and valour flies.

Demetrius/Conner:

I will not stay thy questions: let me go;

Or, if thou follow me, do not believe

But I shall do thee mischief in the wood.

Helena/Vida:

Ay, in the temple, in the town, the field,

You do me mischief. Fie, Demetrius!

Your wrongs do set a scandal on my sex.

We cannot fight for love, as men may do;

We should be woo'd and were not made to woo.

(Throwing his hands up in exasperation Demetrius/Conner exits.)

Helena/Vida:

I'll follow thee and make a heaven of hell,

To die upon the hand I love so well.

(Helena/Vida exits. Oberon/Dustin reappears from behind a tree.)

Oberon/Dustin:

Fare thee well, dudette: ere he do leave this grove,

Thou shalt fly him, and he shall seek thy love.

(Puck/Bridge enters, a flower in hand.)

Oberon/Dustin:

Hast thou the flower there? Welcome, wanderer.

Puck/Bridge:

Ay, there it is.

Oberon/Dustin:

I pray thee, give it me.

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,

Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows

Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,

With sweet musk-roses, and with eglantine:

There sleeps Titania some time of the night,

Lull'd in these flowers with dances and delight;

And there the snake throws her enamell'd skin,

Weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in:

And with the juice of this I'll streak her eyes,

And make her full of hateful fantasies.

Take thou some of it, and seek through this grove:

A sweet Athenian dudette is in love

With a disdainful dude: anoint his eyes;

But do it when the next thing he espies

May be the dudette. Thou shalt know the dude

By the Athenian garments he hath on.

Effect it with some care, that he may prove

More fond of her than she upon her love.

And look thou meet me ere the first cock crow.

(Puck/Bridge bows and doffs his cap.)

Puck/Bridge:

Fear not, my lord, your servant shall do so.

(They leave the stage and the curtains drop.)