AUTHORS NOTE: This is my first X Files stand alone fanfiction and it's based on the love I have to MULDER/KRYCEK. I SERIOUSLY believe there is something between the two men. I hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, they belong to the marvellous Chris Carter
BETA: AlternativeRocker and she did a wonderful job, all mistakes that you find are mine.
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[Emotions]
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"Give me a good reason for why I shouldn't just sink this bullet into your head?"
The man cursed as he got thrust against the wall, his head hitting it slightly too hard and to add to that, he had the cold end of a gun pointed to it. He should have known better than to attempt to face this guy again after everything that happened between them but he needed the agent to know something. He needed to tell him the truth, explain everything and then finally admit the one thing that scared him the most.
The love he felt towards the agent.
He didn't even know when he had first felt love towards the handsome man that stood in front of him. He didn't remember feeling it when he was his partner thanks to Scully's absence. Sure, he'd worshipped the agent. He'd been amazed that the man knew so many people were out to destroy him but it didn't stop him. He just continued on his quest for the truth.
There was still pain inside of the man as he thought of the moment when he'd pulled the trigger on Mulder's father. He had actually left the house and cried himself to sleep for many nights. That night had been when he realised his love for the man that didn't show any affection to anyone but his missing sister and his partner who was also missing. It made sense. You don't realise what you've got until it's missing.
"Where would that get you?" The man said through gritted teeth as he tried not to focus on the pain that throbbed in his head thanks to the way it had met the wall.
"Nowhere but it would sure give me some satisfaction." The agent ground out forcing the gun against the man's head, smiling evilly as the man held his breath.
"Do it then. If you don't, he will." The man spat out referring to the cigarette smoking man and he waited a few moments and just laughed when he realised that the agent didn't have the guts to pull the trigger. "I didn't think you'd be able to do it."
"Don't talk as if you know me, Krycek." The gun was forced into the side of his head one last time before it was moved away and the tight grasp on his clothes released as the agent moved away. Krycek wanted to comment that he did know the man as well as he thought anyone possibly could know a man that kept himself hidden away from the world. He watched in amazement as the agent cursed as he stepped onto the neglected skins to his favourite snack, sunflower seeds.
"I do know you though, Mulder." He pointed out dryly before sorting out his clothes. He thought to the last time they'd met. Krycek had attacked him, pulled him down to the ground, had gave him some words that he needed before pressing a kiss to his cheek. He remembered how dazed he had felt after that kiss. He had stood outside on the path for about five minutes wondering why he had done it and more importantly, why Mulder hadn't completely kicked off.
Krycek had long since sensed that Mulder and his pretty redheaded partner had more than a platonic relationship. It was a given when you had to work in such close perimeters with another person. They were both crammed down in that small basement office, they spent endless hours in the small space of a car or bumping heads in endless motel rooms. He had watched the way they held each other when something happened and he had to admit that he'd felt the gut wrenching emotion of jealousy every time. He just wished that Mulder would hold out that same affection to him. He'd probably give his good arm just to have Mulder pull him into an embrace, his lips pressing against the side of his head. He shook his head as if trying to knock out the image.
"What do you want, Krycek?" Mulder asked as he flounced back down onto his sofa, his grasp still firm on his gun as if expecting to have to shoot something soon.
Krycek had never felt so brave in his life as he moved over to the man and towered over him so that he could respond with, "You." Mulder sat up on the couch, his expression not changing as he looked at the man.
"Krycek..." Mulder had expected the man had feelings towards him ever since he had pressed the angry kiss to his cheek. The kiss had been full of so many emotions that Mulder had been left confused. He had wanted to chase after Krycek but he hadn't known what that would have brought out so he'd just watched him leave. "That can't happen." He explained softly knowing that he should actually feel more anger towards the Russian man that now towered over him. That was when he caught glimpse of his prosthetic arm and he reached out to gently take hold of it.
Mulder knew the history of the arm. He sighed as he looked up at the man. He thought of the fact that they had once been so close but after learning about his connection with CSM, Mulder had hated him but now he found himself wishing they had met on other circumstances.
"Don't take pity on me." The anger in Krycek's voice highlighted to Mulder that he had hit a raw nerve so he stood up and shook his head as he looked at him.
"I could never take pity on you, Krycek." He knew it was true yet when he saw the hurt flicker across the other man's face, he sighed. "I should hate you." Mulder pointed out and both men knew the statement was true. There was so much history between them. Angry history where one had double crossed the other.
"I understand that you do." Krycek could see now that coming here had been stupid and completely ridiculous. He knew now that it would have been easier to accept if Mulder had actually pulled the trigger against his head. "I shouldn't have come here." He said as he pulled himself free from Mulder and started towards the door.
Mulder stood motionlessly on the spot before being slapped awake by the bang of his front door shutting. He felt the gun fall to the floor as he started to run after the man. He called his name before grabbing hold of his shoulder and pulling him back against the wall. "Give me a reason for why I shouldn't do this?"
"Do what?" Krycek asked suddenly fearing that the man had changed his mind about killing him.
"This." Mulder said before crashing his mouth over his. Krycek didn't even have time to react but he did know that he returned the kiss with as much fervour, his good hand snaking round the man's back to keep him as close as he could. He knew that this was going to end soon so he was more than determined to get everything he could now. Mulder didn't know what had taken over him but he knew that right there with Krycek, he felt different and it was a good different. He felt himself moan as Krycek's hand rubbed against the warm flesh at the small of his back. Their kiss ended.
"I never gave you a reason." Krycek said breathlessly and felt his heart skip a beat as Mulder flashed that smirk that had always caused him to smile back when they were partners.
"Are you complaining?"
"No." He replied. "I was actually wondering if there was going to be a repeat..." the end of the sentence was cut off as Mulder kissed him, his hand taking hold of the prosthetic arm and dragging him back to Mulder's room and when the door slammed shut followed by Mulder locking the door, Krycek realised that all his dreams had just come true.
