Do you guys hate me yet? I do! I know I have totally sucked at posting lately! I hate when other authors do it….so I totally understand! But, your pain and anguish wasn't over nothing! I have finally finished this story and will be posting it in chunks till it's all posted!!!....YAY!!!!! I know, I know….oh stop it…flattery won't get you no where….oh who am I kidding! I love all this happiness and praise. So…..are you ready to find out about Leah's Belly? I know I am…enjoy…and for the sake of all things BELLA…don't get to irritated with her stupidity! Oh and a crappie is a kind of fish, and there is a special pole to fish for it….and it's pronounced (Crop-E)

Chapter. 33 Me and my Crappie Pole.

"What's?……What The fuck is that?" I screeched as I pointed hatefully towards Leah's swollen belly. Every single person that had been partying stopped, and turned to watch the train wreck that was sure to happen.

"B….that is what I have been trying to talk to you about" Jake stated awkwardly as he slowly walked towards me.

"NO….no…you would keep something like that!" I pointed hatefully once again towards Leah's belly. "THAT! Is something MY Jake would have forced me to talk about! THAT……that…." My words began to bubble and mumble out of me. I suddenly felt Anthony's strong arm slip around my waist.

"Bella, we have tried to-" I cut Leah off.

"WE? WE?" I screamed.

"Yes, WE, Jake and I….well more Jake, but only because he thought that he should have been the one to tell you……." Leah stated plainly and straightforward, her words not wavering.

"Bells" Embry sweetly sang.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP EM, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, YOU WILL STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS!" I glared at Embry's astonished face, as I held up my hand in a tight fist. Jake began to comfort a tearing Leah. And Leah began rubbing soothing circles upon her large stomach.

"Bella why don't we leave, and you and Jake can-"

"Zip it Masen…..I bet you all think this is funny right….lets make Bella look like a fool…..How could you Jake?" I began crying.

"B, what are you talking about?"

"Bells everyone knows you don't 'like' Jake in that way…why are you so upset?" Seth asked sternly. Clearly wondering why Bella, the girl who has always been vocal about how she wanted Jake to find someone to love him, and for that someone to love him the way she wished she could, was falling apart in front of half of the population of Desoto.

But I was Bella, the girl who was currently realizing that if, that wish ever came true, she no longer had the comfort of knowing she could have her happily ever after, no matter what.

"How….how…you….me…..how….its just….your, my…..rock…you….me….my net….I…" I began speaking only an eighth of the words from the sentences, that were running through my brain.

"Bella" Jake choked out, before he made a step towards me.

"Don't you take another step Jacob Black…..she had her chance, over twenty years of chances. Don't you dare feel sorry for her…your happy, I am happy…..our babies are going to be happy".

"Babies?" I choked out.

"Yes a boy and a girl….a girl who Jake has insisted naming Isabella, After you…his best friend, the person he wanted to stand next to him, as we recite our vows" The world was suddenly darker, lonelier, and scarier.

"Y-y-your getting married?" I choked out, falling out of Anthony's grasp, and falling to my knees.

"Yes" Jake whispered loud enough for me to hear. Anthony was trying to pick me up off the ground, I pushed him away.

"Don't…." Oh my GOD! I….I….I'm embarrassing myself…..I embarrassed Anthony….What the hell is wrong with me….I am his best friend…..I am supposed to be happy, not selfish!!!!! Fuck, it hurts so bad though…..you need to get out of here, with whatever is left of your dignity….I began to wipe my tears, I took in a shaky breath, and pulled myself together. No one was talking still, everyone's eyes were trained on me; even Anthony's confused hurt ones. I finally found the strength I needed to stand. As I slowly lifted myself of the ground I began to speak.

"I'm sorry you guys….I…..I'm happy for you, I really am…Leah, congratulations….send me an invitation ok?" I smiled meekly as I tried to swallow the large lump that was slowly crawling up my throat.

"B" Jake said sadly.

"No Jake, I swear, I am so happy for you…..this is what I have always prayed for…for you…maybe not twins and Leah, but none the less, all I have ever wanted was for you to be happy" I let out a strained laugh. Jake smiled sadly. As did Seth and Embry; they knew it was the truth, but they were worried for me, I could see it in all their eyes.

"Bella….maybe.." Anthony said slowly as he reached for my hand.

"I just…..I need to go" I said as I turn and ran to the ranger, as fast as I could.

I hopped in and turned the key, then sped out of the field as fast as I could. Trying not to look behind me at all the shocked faces, that were sure to be staring my way.

I pressed my foot firmly on the gas peddle and refused to use the brakes as I rushed through the trees. I had to get to the one place I knew I could think, the one place that always seemed to have my answers; the one place I truly felt safe and happy. I felt as if I couldn't fully breathe until I was there. It will all be ok, I just need to be there! It will be ok, I'll be ok…..

Tears were streaming down my face as I reached the outskirts of my father's property. My vision was so blurry I just decided to shut my eyes. I had ran, rode, and drove to this spot throughout my lifetime, I could find it in my sleep. I slowed as the temperature changed, and I could feel the tall lush grass under the tires. Wiping my eyes one more time, I finally decided to open them. There it was….my pond.

It stood there big and beautiful, slightly frozen. It's slightly frozen waters, lulling me to it's shore. At that moment, I could finally take a deep breath. I stopped the ranger, placing it in park, and turned off the engine. I climbed out and walked towards my childhood tree-house; well, not so much a tree-house, and a house built on the ground snuggled between trees. Once I reached the door I unlocked it, and swung the door open. I reach into my pocket for my cell phone, pressing it on as I pulled it from my pocket. The odd blue hue illuminating the small dusty single room building.

I walked slowly towards the large metal army box in the corner. Using my cell phone for light. I lifted the heavy lid; it's old rusty hinges groaning in protest. Laying inside was a large plastic bag that was sealed tightly. The large airless bag contained two king size sleeping bags and a pillow. I scooped up the bag and placed it onto the floor. Using my cell phone again I glanced into the large box. I laughed a watery laugh as my eyes caught sight of pictures and nick-nacks that littered the bottom of the box. A few letters from Jake, a Barbie, a G.I. Joe, coloring books, and a coffee can; that I knew contained Jake and my, most prized possessions (well as prized as possessions can be for two seven year olds). Taking one last look at my childhood safe, I stood shutting the lid on my way up. I grabbed my favorite crappie pole from the corner next to the box, and scooped up the plastic bag I had sat on the floor earlier, then exited the tree-house.

I walked slowly, towards my favorite place on the large pond. It was one of the two docks, but unlike it's twin, it was hidden by trees. Once I had approached my destined spot I ripped open the bag containing the sleeping bags. Quickly I opened one of the bags laying it flat on the wooden surface of the deck. Then I placed the soft pillow under my ass, as I quickly opened the second sleeping bag and threw it around my shoulders. I would be sleeping here tonight; the sleeping bags, surprisingly were laundry fresh, and so was the pillow. Charlie….he probably knew I would spend at least one night out here….Hell at least I have him…

I grasp my crappie pole with two hands and needing no bait, because, lets be serious I really didn't want to catch anything, this is the only way I knew how to think, or deal. If everything I knew to be true was false, THIS would never change, my pond was my sanctuary, my "safe place". I threw out the short line using on a light flick of the wrist, and hummed in contentment, as I heard the familiar "plunk", that sound and the others surrounding me were the only things I wanted to think about for now; I would deal with life and my problems later. I'm not sure how long I sat there flicking the end of my pole, and staring at the sky before I heard soft footsteps, and the flicker of an old Coleman lantern.

Poor, Poor…selfish, self-centered Bella! You can't really fault the girl for just wanting to enjoy the happiness when it comes, can you? I mean, wouldn't you avoid "important" conversations, and live in a happy bubble where, its all rainbow and gumdrops?........I wonder who's footsteps those are…any guesses?