When I said I love you, I meant forever.
Lily smiled as she pulled her brush through her hair. She had a feeling today was going to be a brilliant day. Well as brilliant as you can get in these times. Her and James had finally moved out of Katy's house and into their own, and had been inducted into the order yesterday and James made dinner reservations for dinner in an hour. Life was good.
"Lily, there's something we need to talk about," James began just after the second course of their dinner. Lily grinned, she knew what was coming. James grimaced at his girlfriends expectant looks and happy smile. She still gave him butterflies every time she smiled like that.
"I think we should see other people," he blurted. Lily paled instantly, and felt her food rising in her throat.
"What?" she asked, eyes welling with tears. James swallowed.
"I think we should see other people," he repeated. "I love you, its just not-" Lily cut him off.
"No, no, no, you don't love me, you wouldn't do this if you loved me," she stood, and left the restaurant tears pouring down her face.
Later that night as Lily lay curled into a ball in hers and James' bed, he entered the room, and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Lily, I-" he began.
"Don't waste your breath James I get it," she sat up and started to crawl out of bed.
"No you don't, you don't Lily," he argued.
"Well explain it to me! Cause I don't understand James, I don't understand how you can buy a house with me, tell me you love me, make all these promises and want to see someone else, I don't understand." She yelled at him causing him to recoil.
"Explain it James, cause I've gone over it over and over again in my head, and I don't know where I went wrong," she whispered, the tears coming now. James started toward her.
"No, don't come near me, just tell me what you have to say and get the hell out," she yelled.
"Lily, its a dark world out there at the moment and I need you to be safe, I don't know what I would do if the dark side got you. We joined the order and I realised how bad it is, how much danger I'm going to be in," he paused.
"James I'm going to be in that danger too!" he put his hand up to silence her.
"Let me finish, you won't be in any immediate danger, you are a healer Lil, they keep you at head quarters to heal, but me, I'm and auror which means I'll be on the front line all the time and people are going to start hating me. If they know how to get to me, they will use it, they will use you to get to me. When I said I love you, I meant every word, but it's not too late for you, you can still find someone else," he stopped.
"Lily, I love you, and I always will, but I need you not to love me, for your own safety," he concluded and Lily walked towards him eerily calm. She reached towards him and slapped him straight across the face with full force it sent him staggering.
"You obnoxious arse," she yelled.
"What makes you think it's like that for me? What makes you think I can just walk away and love someone else? You make it sound like I had a choice, I never had a choice James Harold Potter! When I said I love you, I meant forever, not until you got put in danger, not until you fell ill, forever. As in till the day I fall off the face of this earth and even longer than that," she stopped to catch her breath, and regain her composure.
"James, I love you, you can break up with me, you can leave me and never look back, you can take away my dignity, you can leave me in an emotional down spiral, but you can never take away my freedom to love you, and you can never change the fact I do." With that note she walked towards him and placed her hand over the red raw mark on his face from her slap.
"Don't leave me James, please," she whispered. James still shocked from her outburst smiled.
"You know how hot you are right now?" he asked and she laughed.
"Your an arse,"
"But a fine one aye," he queried.
"Aye," she replied kissing his nose.