Chapter 12

Present time

Meredith was home alone waiting for Derek. She changed clothes five times and fiddled with her hair. The doorbell rang at exactly 8.30 and she grabbed her purse and ran downstairs. When she opens the door his phone rings. Derek looks at the display and sends it straight to voicemail. They stand there looking at the other. Both have dressed to please each other. Meredith is wearing a low cut lavender dress that shows off her slim, long and tanned legs in high black heals. Derek is dressed in a navy shirt and light slacks.

"Hi" they smile at each other.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

She nods and locks the door behind them and he puts his hand in the small of her back to lead her back to his car. It felt like she was electrocuted and she almost jumped. He opens the door and she leans out of habit over to unlock his door. He keeps sneaking looks at her and she does the same.

"You look stunning tonight."

"So do you" she whispers.

They drive in silence and he parks outside their favorite Italian restaurant. She looks at him and he stutters.

"I didn't know where to take you, but you always loved this food so…" he trails off.

"It is perfect. The restaurants in Darfur are not any place you want to go and eat at."

The waiter shows them to their table and Derek helps her with her chair. She smells of lavender and he feels intoxicated. They order drinks and their meal. Derek chooses a white wine that will suit them both. Their conversation starts out slow but the more they talk the easier it gets. Derek laughs at hilarious stories from her work and she does the same when he tells her about SGH. When dessert is almost finished they grow silent again.

"Why did you leave?"

"Because of what happened to Cristina at her wedding. I didn't believe in happy ever after."

"But I told you that day that you were the love of my life."

"Yeah, but that didn't help my faith. Everyone that loved me had left me so I decided to be the one to leave instead of being left." She has tears in eyes now.

"Let's continue this conversation somewhere else" he says and leaves some bills on the table.

He drives to their spot overlooking the harbor and parks.

"Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I didn't want to see you because it hurt so much to leave and you were the love of my life."

"I was?"

"Yes" she whispers with tears slowly falling.

"Look at me Meredith."

She slowly raises her eyes and meets his, green staring into blue.

"When you left I was devastated… I spent a year alone in the trailer and worked more then 120 hours a week… I cared for in this order fishing, scotch and work… When I couldn't find you I cried for nights… You took an important piece of my heart away… The last couple of years I have dated Rose, in the beginning because she listened to me talking about you for hours the last year it has been mostly out of habit… She pushed me into buying an apartment here in town and told me to move in… In the last couple of months she has been pushing towards marriage, kids and a big house… I want those things but not with her... Yesterday before the Code One I told her I wanted a break, a pause… I needed to think… This is because I have dreamt about you for nights in a row… I thought I heard you outside Joe's one night… I thought I saw you in the gallery with Bailey… I smelled your conditioner when I was with Rose at Joe's one night… I thought I hallucinated… It wasn't until I saw you at the ceremony that I realized that my hallucinations were reality… It had been you all the time… that you were here… When I want alone time I go to the trailer… The only people allowed there are Mark and Addison… The trailer is our place… it is where I go when I want to remember you and me…" Tears were sliding down his cheeks.

"I have, when I have missed you to much, used the Meredith method… Tequila… lots of tequila and a one night stand… I left a piece of my heart here… I left it with you…"

"You are the love of my life."

"You are the love of my life… but my life is not here… It is literary half way around the world."

Now both of them are crying. Derek pulls her towards him and cradles her in his arms. He buries his face in her hair and she turns her face into his shirt. They sit there for a long time. His phone vibrates as it has done repeatedly during the evening. He doesn't care, he only wants to sit there forever. Meredith's breathing becomes heavier and she falls asleep in his arms.

Rose is getting more and more mad, because Derek doesn't answer his phone during the whole evening. She knows that he is having dinner with the slutty Dr Grey when he should be with her, his fiancé. They are almost married, she almost got him to set a wedding date and then that slut showed up again. Rose gets into her car and drives to Meredith's house. She parks a distance away but can clearly see the driveway and people walking in and out. Dr Hunt and Dr Yang are kissing in front of a downstairs window. Is this house a brothel? Are there only sluts living in the house?

It is close to 1 am when Derek's car shows up, finally. She watches as he walks around the car, opens the door and cradles a sleeping figure in his arms. He kisses the blonde hair and walks up to the door. The door opens by Izzy and they disappear inside. After just a few minutes a soft light is seen in an earlier dark window. She can see his silhouette when he passes the window. He disappears after a while but he is not coming out. Is he staying? She calls his cell again.

Derek puts Meredith on her bed and pulls the comforter over her. He sits there for a while just looking at her sleeping form, ignoring his phone. Something is not as it used to be but he can't pinpoint it. He slowly walks downstairs after a while, if he could he would stay but it is too early or too late. He isn't sure of which. Alex and Owen are having a beer in the living room.

"Want one?" Alex shows his bottle. Derek nods. "They are in the fridge."

Derek returns to the living room with a bottle in his hand. Owen is studying him closely.

"You really love her" he states. Derek nods and takes a sip of beer. Owen continues.

"She is the best neurosurgeon I have ever seen. She does miracles in a very simple environment. I don't know how many spinal injuries she's fixed in the light of a flashlight going in blind."

"I always thought that she would be better then I am, if she chose to go for neuro and I am very good." He says with a cocky smile. "I'm sorry" he continues "but I have to ask. Have you and her ever…?"

"No, we are just friends; she is like my little sister. It has been Cristina since the first time I saw her walking out of surgery all bloody and smiling, on my first day in Rwanda."

"But the rumor at the hospital talks about sexual favors."

"It was just something Meredith said. She knew it would travel to your ears and your nurse's ears."

"The nurse is not my nurse anymore" Derek cuts in.

"All I did was to give her a backrub. She usually gets a couple of achy knots after too many or too long surgeries. If you really want to hear her moan you should give her a hand, foot and backrub" Owen continues.

Alex starts to laugh when Derek's cheeks turns red.

"He knows other ways to get her moaning. We all slept with earplugs when he was here with her, but to tell the truth we used earplugs when she was alone as well due to her snoring. I even bought us new ones before you guys came."

"Meredith doesn't snore." Owen says.

"Yes she does, like a truck driver."

"No listen, do you hear anything?" Both Alex and Derek listen carefully, look at each other, rise and walk upstairs. They open the door and peeks in. Meredith is sleeping but not snoring.

"You hear, no snoring."

Rose is still sitting in her car but after an hour, but at 2 am she decides to drive home. Shortly after she left Derek gets in his car and drives to his trailer.