Here's another update! ^_^ Hope you like this chappie. It's just a short one though. And it's still an emotional chapter. Sometimes I just wanted them to kiss and make up...BUT not yet in this chapter. Heehee. I was about to publish JPTM Chapter10 but I couldn't find it in my file folder... o_O *sad*sad*sad* Sorry for those who have been waiting for JPTM updates. I promise to look for it and post it next week--whether i find it or not!
Flowerypetal: Thanks for the review! Sorry had to cut the drama scene in the last chapter, am just not good in delaying crying moments. Yes, here's another update. Hope you like it!
Fallenmad: Thanks for reviewing! You're getting mixed signals because this fic is only in Yui's perspective. It'll be clearer if you know Hotohori's side. Which brings me, would you want to read Hotohori's version of events in Serendipity?
Merengue2009: Thanks for the review! I know. I know. This fic is turning out to be a sad one. Hope you'll continue visiting and reading this. ^_^
Thanks everyone! Please continue reading! ^_^ I've been editing this chapter over and over again just to get the feel of the piece right. Do tell me what you think! Arigatou gozaimasu!
Disclaimer: FY is not mine, even if I wish upon a star… -___- Besides, if it is, Yui would be the lead and the Seiryuu seis would be the main characters—and they would get along well with the Suzaku seis.
Chapter 11: You're So Cruel
By Slavedriver2008
I want to quit him.
He was…addicting. Damn, he's not even my boyfriend. We had, let's see, a month of silent flirting, a day of physical intimacy, four hours of tension, and five minutes of fighting. Damn. Damn. Damn. It hurts so much.
After Hotohori walked out of my place yesterday, Boshin stayed and comforted me in the kitchen as I cried. Bless Seiryuu, I cried. What would he think of me now? He's probably still angry and he probably hates her now. He spoke the truth, though. Partly. I only saw him as someone forbidden and someone to hold behind everyone else's back. But wasn't that how he saw me as well?
What am I to you, Yui?
Everything. He was everything to me. I opened the shower and let cold water wash through my body. I don't want to go to school today. My body and mind were not into it. All I wanted was to see him and tell him I love him so much. I wanted to tell him how scared I was to get hurt. I wanted to tell him I will do anything just to have him back. Just to have him. His words lingered in my thoughts, like a subconscious voice repeating the same words painfully over and over.
Nothing.
Right. I shook my head and cleared my thoughts. I should stand with what I said. He meant nothing to me. And I should stop thinking of him. I really should start getting him out of my system. And I think I know how. I turned the water off and left the shower. It's going to be a very long day.
I know I will regret everything later.
--
"Hoy Yui, Taka's inviting us for dessert, his treat for getting a part-time job. Let's hurry." Miaka's voice brought my consciousness back to reality. I looked at her, smiling warmly. I almost forgot. We were at the classroom. The bell had already rung and it was time to go home.
"I'll pass," I said softly, letting out a sigh. My brain felt so tired today. Less sleep + guilt + heartache = major headache.
"But why?" Miaka asked and I smiled at her.
"I'm going over to Hotohori's house. Had to call the teaching stint off," I smiled sweetly, trying to hide the emptiness that was filling me.
"Do you want to? What about him?" Miaka asked and I fidgeted.
"Of course I want to, I've been thinking about it since yesterday. Boshin is a really nice boy, I'll miss him. But he'll find a smarter tutor," I started to arrange my things. It's finally time to end everything.
"I'm not talking about Boshin," Miaka's voice quivered and I looked straight at her. What does she know?
"I don't understand what you mean."
"Taka told me about it, though it's not confirmed. And I'm hurt you didn't tell me."
I turned my attention on my bag. "Taka doesn't know anything. There was nothing to know or to tell to begin with." I stood up, grabbed my things and headed for the door. The students have left now. Miaka and I were the only ones left in the room.
"Do you love him?" Miaka's voice was soft and devoid of any emotion apart from sympathy. Sometimes I hate her for being straightforward and honest. She's so good-natured. Yes, I'm the bad girl. I'm always the bad one. "Do you love Hotohori?"
Yes. A voice within me answered. Yes, I love him but I'm not supposed to. He's yours, completely yours, Miaka, I wanted to tell her. But I was tired of feeling this way—always feeling sorry for myself, always comparing myself to women who got the loves of their lives, always second-rate to my own best friend. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of everything. A person appeared in my thoughts, someone who despite all the hurts he caused, knew who I am, knew all my insecurities, my pain.
"I miss Nakago," I said, turning to her. "I want him back."
--
"Don't do this, Yui." Hotohori looked at me and smirked. We were in his room-office. He stood up from the chair when I told him I can't tutor his brother anymore. The room looked different when I first stumbled on it, that fateful night. But then, the lights were off. "Boshin needs you. Don't include him in whatever stupidity happened between us." Stupidity? Yes, yes. Everything was stupid. Didn't expect him to catch on early.
I composed myself, still trying hard to look him in the eye. "Aya told me it was only for a month." I shook my shoulders, trying to appear as calm as possible. "The month's over. I need to get back to skating and focus on getting into college. Those are still my top priorities." I stood up to leave. "And I'm not including Boshin in our issues. I told you, there's nothing there. I don't feel anything," I lied. Deep inside, I was hurting.
"You're so cruel."
I laughed, my insides seething. "I'm cruel? You have no right..." I looked at him, angry. "Yes, I guess I've always been one. Force of habit." My voice trembled but I tried my best to say everything without shouting. I looked away. "I should go. Having this conversation is not healthy for both of us."
Hotohori smirked before I turned to leave. His hands clasped my elbow and when I turned around, his intense eyes met my gaze. He was wearing the same look when we were in my apartment, after we kissed and touched. His face was close to mine. Instead of pulling away, I looked back, trying to remember his features in case I never get to see him again. A crazy thought—I could never forget his face. I could never forget him.
"Let's talk about this, Yui…" he whispered. I smelt the mint in his breath, and for a moment, the taste of his mouth returned to my thoughts. "Everything we had…" he bit his lower lip. "We need to really talk—"
"Sai, what's happening here?" We both turned around to a beautiful woman garbed in only a robe. My heart constricted. She was fresh from the shower—and she came from his room. Her purple eyes questioned the closeness between us and I pulled away immediately.
Hotohori's jaw clenched. "Houki—"
"It's nice to meet you. I'm Yui Hongo. Boshin's tutor," I said without breathing, my whole body was trembling from anger, jealousy, envy. He slept with her last night. Damn. It was me who's supposed to be in his bed. I wanted to slap myself for entertaining the thought. No Hotohori for me. Never. "I came here to cut off my services," I said, after obviously staring at her with disgust. "I obviously disturbed something very private…I'm leaving now." I turned around and walked away.
Hotohori called me and I walked faster, closing the door behind me. I ran out of the mansion. I have grown used to the place and had learned my way, thanks to the fear of ending up in his room again. Somehow the thought of ending up in his arms felt right. I knew I was hoping what happened that first night would happen again in the days that passed afterwards.
Rain poured the moment I left the gates and I leaned on the wall. I faced the sky and let water wash the salty tears that fell from my eyes. His room was not the place I wanted to go back anymore, especially after seeing his former girlfriend barely clothed—and in his robe for Seiryuu's sake. Houki. Her name was Houki. She came back for him. And he accepted her.
My uniform hugged by skin and cold filled me. Thunders erupted in the raging firmament, mirroring the sudden surge of emotions that I was desperately trying to contain. The rain poured, showing no signs of stopping.
And I ran away from everything.
A/N: Another dramatic chapter…Thanks for reading and please please do leave a review! Gracias, amigas! Nakago will show up VERY soon. ^_^