This is my favorite chapter so far. Ahaha. Anyone who's been dying to put Yui and Hotohori in bed will be a bit disappointed here. Don't worry though, we're getting closer to the scenario. Happy reading! Thanks so much for the reviews! I've been so excited to resume my stories. Actually, my more than a month break gave me new ideas for ALL my fics--including Falling White Threads! Hah! Am gonna update that fic one of these days... ^_^

Fallenmad: I have this habit of pushing my characters off the cliff...and I just love doing that to Yui. I mean, she's so dramatic. I cannot imagine Miaka being this dramatic, no. Yui has so many hidden emotions I want to pull out. Ahaha. I'm still thinking of writing Serendipity in Hotohori's perspective but I'm not sure...I'm not very good with male thoughts...might become too dramatic for a guy. Ehehe. We'll see...

Leah_lover: Yes, I'm so happy to be back in ffdotnet. I miss writing soooo much! Spoiler: Nakago will come out next chapter! Yay! After arguing with my muse, I decided to bring him out next chappie. But its still a cameo. Ehehe. ^_^

BirdGAL26: Thanks for the compliment! As requested, here's chapter 12--one of my favorite chapters so far. Ehehe. ^_~

Flowerypetal: You hate Nakago??? Ahaha. I know, I know. Everything will be clear soon, not yet in this chapter, though.

XxLadyYuixX: I missed you! Sorry couldn't put up a chapter on JPTM, I think I lost my files... -____- But anyway, am still trying to recover what I wrote about it. Hope you like this chappie! ^_^

Disclaimer: No, no, no. FY is not mine.

Chapter 12: I'm Not Convinced

By Slavedriver2008

It had been exactly one month, five days, eight hours, 21 minutes, and 38 seconds since I last saw Hotohori, or at least the length of time my brain was telling me. I grew conscious of the days that passed after our last meeting. But something graver was eating me.

I miss him like hell.

I tried to avoid him as much as possible. I even moved to my parent's house in the other side of Tokyo just to make sure he didn't end up in my doorstep. Not that he valued me that much to actually come for a visit, I just…I don't know. I shook the thought of him caring for me. I said I ran away from everything right? Well, I also ran away from the memory of us my apartment brings every once in a while.

My parents were out of the country so I have the house to myself. It was much like my apartment. The place was simply bigger and complete with necessities. Only, there's no memories of Sai from every corner.

Let's not talk about Hotohori.

I glided in the rink and cold air brushed through my face. I went back to skating too. My ankle doesn't hurt that much anymore and my grades were picking up in school. It somehow slid down after…I saw his former girlfriend in his room. No, stop thinking of him.

Skating. Skating does not seem to give me the same comfort it used to. I have perfected the Axel and Ayama said I skate better after my two-month hiatus. I have improved technically but I no longer feel the passion I once had for it. I seemed to have grown out of skating. But I do the sport anyway, trying to use it as an escape.

"You're improving technically," Ayama told me as I drink water in the bleachers. "But your emotions are too contained, Yui," she told me, her voice wary.

"Ayama-sensei, you said judges don't look too much on the emotions in singles," I reasoned out.

"Yes, yes," she said, her head nodding. "But…I always thought that's what makes you different from all the other figure skaters of your generation."

I smiled at her even though my soul was not into it. "If you say so." I sat on the bleachers. Silence filled us. "I'm planning to stop. I will be graduating next year and I have to prepare for college."

Ayama sighed. "I knew this was coming." She sat beside me and I bit my lip, trying to stop being emotional. "It's unfortunate you missed your chance at the sectionals." I tried to laugh but I failed miserably. Ayama placed her arms around me and tapped my shoulder. "There's a winter competition next month. I want you to join."

I smiled at her. "Yes, sure."

"Don't do this for anyone, Yui. Do this for yourself," she told me and I looked away. "You are the best skater I ever trained and I want a medal hanging around that neck before you stop skating."

I laughed, this time my heart was into it. I embraced her and started to cry. "I'm sorry…" I whispered and Ayama rubbed my back. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry." I breathed out. I was not only apologizing for quitting skating. I was apologizing for everything. Hotohori appeared again in my thoughts and I knew I wanted him back.

Damn, I am in love with him.

--

I hastily changed back to my uniform after practice. Crying with Ayama made me feel lighter. I sighed and smiled. It somehow unloaded all the frustration and heartbreak I have been keeping for a month now.

I promised Miaka I'll have dinner with her and Taka tonight. For some reason, she never failed to ask me to drop by somewhere after class. Taka's treating us to a chocolate cake or Taka's bringing us to a nice restaurant in town. I wanted to go of course, I had to have my social life back, not that it was in good standing before or the lack of it mattered to me. I just wanted to have some fun, to make me forget him. Hotohori again. Oh Seiryuu, this was worse than a break-up.

After continuously nagging, I finally decided to go out with them. And I intended to keep that promise. The locker room door closed behind me and I sighed. "I'm almost done..." I called out, it was probably Aki. He has this habit of meeting me in the lockers after practice. Not that we do intimate things, he simply help me carry my bags and take me home. I winced. I forgot to tell him I'm having dinner with Miaka tonight. "I'll be out in a sec. Just…buttoning my shirt…" One of the buttons fell off and I gasped. Oh no, I ruined my uniform.

My gaze fell on the floor and I saw the missing button. I walked toward it and was about to pick it up when another hand delicately picked it for me. I look up to find a pair of familiar warm hazel eyes.

"Hotohori…" I whispered and all my longing for him emanated. I was about to tell him something I don't remember now but he hastily wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up, my back against the lockers. I wrapped my legs around his hips and our mouths met, hungry for each other, lost in the familiar heat of each other's arms.

The kiss was demanding and passionate, our mouths moved in a familiar rhythm that only the two of us knew. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back in the most I can. Bless Seiryuu, I missed him so much. His hand went up my breast and I moaned into his mouth. He pulled the shirt open and the buttons fell one by one to the floor. That's it, my uniform was really ruined.

But nothing mattered.

Hotohori pried open the hooks of my bra and my head leaned back when his cold hand wrapped around my breast. His mouth, hot and moist, trailed my neck. I called him softly. Hotohori. Not Sai. And he pushed me further against the lockers, the metal clinked as we moved together against it.

The thought of someone walking in and seeing us in this state fleeted in my head. Instead of urging me to stop, the scenario triggered excitement within me. Yes, let them see us. Let Miaka or Houki or anyone see us in this blissful state. Let everyone know the intensity of my emotions for him. I pulled his head and my mouth crashed down on his. He groaned and his hardness tugged between my legs. The locker room was the most unromantic place but then, I wanted him badly. Anywhere was heaven.

Hotohori's hand left my breast and trailed my leg. I know what he wanted. I wanted it as well. I brushed my hands along his shirt and gently unbuttoned the fabric. He smiled and I answered him with a giggle. The kiss has shifted to a slow and lingering dance, no longer desperate to prove anything. Anticipation filled me as his hand reached my thigh. We both wanted this. For a night with him, I would gladly sell my soul.

The sound of ringing surged in the air. Hotohori cursed and he gently placed me down. He clutched his hair in annoyance. He looked at me with eyes begging, his breathing unsteady like mine. I pulled my shirt together and looked away. I suddenly felt ashamed.

I lost myself again. I wanted to hit my head on the wall for being this easy. Hotohori reached for the phone inside his pocket and frowned when he saw who was calling.

"Hello," his voice was deep and guttural. A woman's voice answered back and I cursed, internally. I hastily arranged my bra and buttoned what remained of my shirt. I half-heartedly put on my coat and arranged it so the ruined shirt would not look obvious underneath. I can't meet Miaka and Taka looking like a mess. I think I did everything as quietly as possible, but inside I was screaming.

"Miaka, yes. I—" My bestfriend's voice cut him. "Okay, goodbye." He looked at me and I smiled faintly. "It was…"

"Miaka, I heard." I fingered my hair, the pain of being used shot through me again. His phone rang again and he sighed when he saw who was calling.

"Houki, not now. I will call you later." He hastily placed the phone back inside his pocket and turned to me. "I'm sorry—"

"So who do you belong to now?" I smirked. "Miaka or Houki?" Hotohori's eyes begged me to understand him, his gaze soft and longing. I felt the urge to kiss him again.

"To you," he said softly and I felt the whole world hit me in the face. My heart pounded in my ears and I tried to keep myself from stumbling. He's lying, he's lying, I told myself. I laughed bitterly and grabbed my duffel bag.

"Funny, I'm not convinced." I walked away, leaving him behind. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the urge to run back into his arms. I tried to convince myself that he was lying but my heart felt otherwise.

It's going to be long night.

A/N: Whoopi, Hotohori's words really blew me away. I wonder what will happen in the next chapter… Anyway, I realized that this fic is getting longer. And Nakago has yet to arrive in the scene! But do tell me what you think!