Thanks so much for the reviews in the prior chapter. I've been so inspired to finish this story, maybe because it's nearing the end. I haven't been able to update because I've been out of town for two weeks, I think, and I couldn't get myself to write away from my beloved desktop. Anyway, thanks for reading and leaving reviews! I hope you all like this chapter. :)

Fallenmad: Aaaw. Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you liked how this fic is developing. I'm glad to hear too that you're starting to read Nakago, I mean, I'm in love with him!

Michi: Sorry to disappoint you. I thought it would be nice to build up Nakago's character here. The Pretend Boyfriend update might get a bit delayed…Ehehe, been focusing on this story. :)

Princess-of-doctors: I just couldn't let Nakago make a cameo in this fic right? I mean, Yui loved him so much! I could at least give him a special scene with our favorite girl. :) I will try to update The Blue Flower soon—I can't wait to move to the exciting parts.

Flowerypetal: Nope, dear. The previous chapter was not the final chapter yet. But this fic is nearing its end—just a few more chappies to go. Enjoy reading!

Disclaimer: FY does not belong to me. But I'm so happy because this fic is soooo close to the end! Ganbatte!

Chapter 21: I Just Love You More

By Slavedriver2008

"You cut your hair," Ayuru started and I lifted my face to look at him. My hand unconsciously raked through the bob, heart hammering quite hard. I had not expected him to show up and having coffee and sweets with him was the last thing I wanted to do in Linz. He must have felt my awkwardness and looked away. "It suits you."

"I look like the Yui you met five years ago," I began. "I'm too ugly you can't even look straight." He turned to me, eyes staring straight and I grew conscious. The air was starting to blow coldly. I had a feeling it would snow again. I looked down.

"No." His voice was deep and full despite the cold. He leaned forward, elbows leaning on the wooden table of the coffee shop. Slowly, he reached for some stray hair and pushed it behind my ear. "You are lovelier than the Danube. Or anything else, for that matter."

A blush spread through my cheeks and I rubbed my hands together, trying to keep it warm. It was stupid of me to forget my gloves. As if knowing how cold I was, Nakago reached for my hands and covered it with his, warmth filled me and I think I blushed harder, if that was possible.

"How did you find me?" I asked, still looking at his hands, his fingers rubbing mine to warm them.

"I guess it helped that I'm half-Austrian," he said. I was caught by surprise and I ended up meeting his cool blue eyes. "This is my hometown." I must have gasped.

"I didn't know…"

Silence fell between us. Our orders arrived and we have to part—hands, stares, whatever connection. I brushed my hair with my fingers and pulled my coat tighter while he leaned back on his chair, his handsome face devoid of any emotion. When the man left our table, he leaned closer to me again.

"I can tour you around the city tomorrow," he started. "You've only been to the touristy spots—I can bring you to better places," his eyes shinned in the night and warmth spread from my face. We were obviously thinking of other things and I was stupid to even entertain the thought. I just broke up with the man I love, I shouldn't be flirting with the next guy who comes along—and especially not my former seishi!

"I've been wandering earlier…I don't know if I have the time to go around tomorrow," I said, not knowing what else should be said between us. It seemed to me that we—Nakago and I—should not have been engaging in this conversation at all. It was probably too early…for things.

"Are you flying back to Tokyo?" He leaned back, there was an edginess in his voice.

"Maybe. I still haven't decided yet."

"Your prince is getting married." I looked at him. I wanted to hate him for bringing the issue up. Can he not see I was avoiding it? That I was not ready? That I would rather flirt with him than talk about…Sai? His name brought warmth throughout my body and I hated the way I reacted to such a small thing. And it was even just a thought—the man, the flesh and the soul, was not there yet. Oceans away. Preparing his upcoming engagement party. I let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't care," I said. I looked straight at him. "We're over," I whispered in the cold. Gi didn't say anything. He took the cappuccino and drank it slowly and then licking the bubbles that were left on his upper lip. My stares had not waned one bit. I was determined to prove that I have moved on. That Sai does not affect me at all. I changed hairstyles now—I'm a different person.

"You should go back," he told me and I smirked at him.

"Why?" I asked for the sake of saying something, really, my heart was not into it.

"He's waiting for you."

I looked down, pulling the coat tighter. "He didn't run after me."

"He wanted to give you space."

I looked at Gi angrily. "Did you come here as his emissary?" I hissed.

"No," he stated. He leaned on the table again. "I honestly came here to claim you…for myself."

I laughed bitterly. "I've become a prize now." Nakago looked at me, he reached for my hand but I pulled it away from his grasp. "You always couldn't resist a competition. Still desperate to win."

"I love you." I looked up to him, different emotions filling me in such a short span of time.

"I waited for you for…three years." I said, a lump formed in my throat. "Three years…Nakago." I swallowed hard, saying his name with hardship, trying so hard to control the anger that was teeming inside me and the forming tears on my eyes. I will never cry in front of him anymore. The pain brought by the past came back. "I've been fighting with myself whether you really did love me or not…every night for three years…"

The tears fell and I knew I was opening myself to him. His hand brushed through my face, providing me with a comfort that only he could give. "We first met five years ago in this world," Nakago started. I looked up to him, surprise evident in my face. He smiled. "You were 12 then and I was fresh out of college. Your parents just bought the unit beside mine." I looked at him expectantly. What?

"I don't believe you."

He laughed. "You were always alone." I looked at the waters of the Danube, the lights of the Eisenbahnbrücke, Austria's railway bridge, reflected on the surface. "Always with an mp3 plugged in your ears." I snorted. "I recognized you then but you looked through me and walked away like you never saw me at all. Like we never really knew each other." Nakago sighed. "It then struck me that you haven't met my former self yet. And to you, I'm just some neighbor you don't want to meet or mingle with."

"I said—"

Nakago placed a finger on my lips and gently lined the sides of my mouth. "I don't know how to approach you. If we met then, wouldn't you just treat me like a brother you never had?" My eyes widened, but I waited for his words, the way dried land waited for the rain. Hungrily. He pulled my hand and kissed it. Once. Twice. Thrice. Countless times until I sighed and laughed gloomily. Bless Seiryuu, how can I not forgive the first man I ever loved, the first man who hurt me, the first man who showed me…pain and truth and happiness even for a short time?

But something else was nagging at me. Some emotion was stirring me into confusion. "Take me away," I told him. "Take me away from him. I'm giving myself to you. Do everything you want with me…Just..." I bit my lip. "Make me forget…"

Nakago looked at me, gloomily. "You're confused. As much as I want to make you mine tonight, I…can't,"

"Why not?" I breathed out.

"I won't do the same mistakes I did…three years ago." Nakago laced his fingers into mine. "I told you, I did not come here to take advantage of you again."

I laughed. My head was clearer now, after being rejected. I wiped my tears and started to fix my things. "I'm going home."

"Let me walk you."

--

The streets were cold and full, people walking with destinations, cars running, honking loudly, fighting the rush hour traffic. Dying to go home, take their coats off, sit in front of the fireplace, and wait for sleep to consume them, wait for the heat of the morning. Then they do the same things, the same morning ritual. Go to work and then go home again on the same time, on the same avenue, on the same scene over and over again.

Nakago was walking beside me, moving close enough to provide me heat in that blistering November night. He would not wrap his arms around me, though I would appreciate if he would. Then again, he was familiar with Austrian customs and the likes. It was unbecoming to be seen in the streets with arms around each other, even in this climate.

"It's probably going to snow," he said, breaking the silence. I pushed my hands deeper into the coat, trying in vain to keep them warm. Gods, I should never forget my gloves again. Especially in such months. I sighed and smoke formed from my mouth. Yes, I thought, it might snow. Looks like one of my wishes will come true tonight, though I was a bit disappointed I was standing with him and not with someone else. I was disappointed too that he rejected my offer. Then again, I was relieved he did. Times sure have changed.

"Tell me a secret," I told him just to start a conversation between us. "Something you've never told anyone before."

He smirked. "You go first." I hit his arm and he looked down with amusement. "Ladies first, I am always the gentleman."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine." I heaved a sigh. "I was expecting I'd see Sai when I turned around, though I knew he had enough sense to now follow me here." My voice was low and Nakago smiled. "Your turn."

"You don't always get what you expect."

I frowned. "That's not a secret."

He stopped walking and looked down on me. "I was expecting you'd run back to my arms if I followed you. Apparently, we both didn't get what we wanted." I looked away, eyes fixed on the pavement. His words blew me away.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have every right to love whoever you want to love," Nakago explained. "Coming here does not mean he loves you less..." He resumed walking and I paced beside him. "I just love you more."

My heart palpitated hard and my head was lowered so much the back of my neck hurt a bit. I was blushing like hell. This Nakago was very different from my seishi. He was more vocal about his feelings, his thoughts. I wondered, if I met him earlier, would I have loved him more than his former self? Would I have loved him more than…

"Do you remember when we journeyed to Hokkan? The weather was almost the same," he started and I winced at the memory.

"Uh-huh." I answered. "It was about to snow too. When we put up camp, I walked in on…" I stopped treading on memory lane. I looked down at the pavement.

"Soi and me," he completed the sentence. I nodded, remembering that instance when I saw them naked inside the tent. I pushed the thought away.

"Did you…Did you love her?" Silence. I sighed and walked faster. He paced with me, this time wrapping an arm around my freezing shoulders. I instinctively moved closer to him. To hell with the people on the streets. I'm cold. I needed him.

"When you sleep with someone, you cannot help but develop…an affinity with them," Nakago said. "Especially if you do it constantly, night after night, like a ritual."

My body was cold but my face was hot. Talking about Nakago's sex life in the book was not a conversation I wanted to have with him. Everyone knew he was the beautiful shogun of Kutou, every girl imagined being in his bed. Our coversation was not how I imagined our first date to be like. Heck, even though I was in love with him for the last three years, I could not imagine a date to begin with.

"Was she good?" I asked coyly, earning a laugh from him. We were nearing the apartment where I was staying. It was a cute weird apartment. Various different places in Linz were transformed as rooms of a certain hotel and my parents lived in another room, in another street. But in the same hotel.

"Why do you want to know?" I pulled away from him, walking toward the door of my room.

"Nothing. I—" He pulled me and before I could respond, Nakago's lips crashed down on mine. I gasped, surprised and my mouth opened. He took advantage of the space and probed inside. I closed my eyes when our tongues met, a moan escaping me. A few more escaped me as he flicked it over and over. When he lined the insides of my mouth very tediously, I was clutching his coat too much that my fingers hurt. Gods, we shouldn't be kissing on the streets. This was insane!

Nakago's hand wandered inside my coat and I pushed him away. No, he can't touch me. No. No. No. He looked at me, lips red from the passionate kiss we just shared. I was breathing hard. It was a mistake, the kiss was a mistake. We shouldn't have… I looked away and pulled out a key from my pocket. I was about to open my door when his arms wrapped around me, his right landing flat on my stomach, the other holding my left wrist.

"Stop this. I…"

"There was another girl I've slept with, another bed I always looked forward to sleeping in every night," he whispered in my ear. I tried to pull away, I didn't need to know about his bedroom affairs.

"Let me go, Nakago—"

"She always cries at night," he whispered and I stilled. "She keeps on having nightmares. Keeps on reaching out her hand to a friend who came too late." Nakago wrapped his arms around me. Gods, of course I remember those nights. He doesn't have to make me remember. "It was her hair that I wanted to smell, it was her breathing I wanted to hear, it was her body that I wanted to touch…to keep close…" He sighed. "And I chose to break her heart."

"Tomorrow," Nakago spoke again and I closed my eyes, listening to the warmth of his voice on my ear. "I will be at the Brucknerhaus, waiting." My eyes widened. "The concert starts at seven, if you're not there by the time it starts, I will assume that you left for Tokyo. And I will never bother you again. I will assume that you're happy with him."

The arms left me and when I turned around, Nakago was gone and snow had started to fall.

A/N: I know, I know, this chapter is so long! Maybe I'll add some more details when I get the time. :) I seemed to be having a hard time writing again after stopping so I made a pact with myself that I will write something on my fics every night. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. What do you think? Please drop your reviews!