Author - lady_sapphire (from the Jedi Council forums)
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Sabe,
I'm sorry for what you heard on the news but half of the report really was true. Corde was killed as my decoy. It was terrible and even though some time has passed since, I still feel responsible for what happened. If it wasn't for my involvement with this whole mess, I wouldn't have a need for a decoy at all and Corde would be living her life somewhere, away from any danger. But I know I can't spend my time worrying about something I can't change. All I can do is move forward and try to stay alive so Corde's death wasn't for nothing.
I still can't believe it either but...Anakin really is my protector now. My only protector by the way. Last night, there was another attack on my life. A bounty hunter actually got into my room and put these worm things on my bed. They're extremely poisonous and if Anakin hadn't gotten there in time...no, I'm not going to think about that. I'm alive and that's all that matters right now. Anyways, the Jedi Council decided to send Obi-Wan to find out who hired the bounty hunter so Anakin is officially my protector.
The meeting was...interesting. At first, I couldn't get over how different he looked. The more I think about it, Sabe, the more I think that the Jedi you saw and Anakin are one in the same. It makes sense when you think about it. He's actually very...handsome, probably too handsome for my own good. I never thought he would end up looking like that but I can't say I'm sorry for it. And the way he was looking at me...it was very intense. Almost to the point where it made me uncomfortable even though I can't exactly say why. He makes me very nervous, Sabe. Just being even in the same room with him and I completely lose my train of thought and everything gets cloudy. I don't like it at all. I'm not used to feeling this way around someone. Usually I can reign in my emotions pretty easily but ever since I saw Anakin again, that's been getting much more difficult.
I know he's not the little boy we knew ten years ago and even though it's hard for me to see him as anything other than that cute little boy who asked me for a blanket...seeing him now has made it a little bit easier. And now that he's my only protector, I can't avoid him. It would be impossible. He was even talking to me before about having to sleep on my floor sometimes if he thought I was in danger or going with me on dates to make sure my date didn't try to kill me. Can you believe that? Don't you think that's taking things a little too far? I don't really know how to tell him that without hurting his feelings but I know that, deep down, he's just trying to protect me. I still can't figure out why he's looking at me the way he does. It scares me.
Alright...new subject. I'm especially glad that you finally decided to go back to Naboo because I'll be going back there myself very shortly. After the last attack, the Chancellor made an executive order that I return home so Anakin and I are going to traveling undercover on a public transport. So don't worry. I know you have mixed feelings about Anakin but he is a very skilled Jedi who is also very capable of keeping me safe. In spite of the way he makes me feel, I trust him with my life.
If you're going to be close to the Lake Retreat, I'm sure I'll get to see you. I have a feeling Queen Jamilla will recommend I stay there because it's in the country and away from everyone and everything else (except you, of course) so hopefully, I'll get to see you a lot more often than either one of us is used to. I'll let you know what the plans are as soon as I know. Until then, stay safe and try not to worry.
Your friend,
Padme