Chapter 7 - Dont do this...

I could feel his stiffness as we walked hand in hand down the corridor, at least I knew my mum would survive this, even if I wasn't sure that I would. Once I crossed the doorway, everything would be different. I knew I would have to say goodbye to Edward and I knew I would have to do it soon but I couldn't do it yet, I still needed him. I knew I was being selfish but saying goodbye to him really would destroy me but maybe I could still write to him, just to know that he's alright, that they all are. No. I thought. That wouldn't be fair to him, maybe I could stay in touch with Alice, but if he ever found out. I had a harder mission to complete before I had to worry about surviving losing him again. Somehow I needed to convince him to go, that I didn't love him or want him. I needed to use his own trick against him but I wasn't entirely sure it would work.

As we took the final step across the threshold I took a long deep breath and in my head said goodbye to the life I had once deemed possible as having. The life with him. With them.

Renee was wide awake staring at me from her bed with a small smile on her lips. I could see her strength wavering and knew she was fully aware of Phil's condition. When I reached her side she leaned towards me and hugged me tightly.

"Finally got those needles out, only stuck with this one now" she tried to make a joke, but the sadness in her voice took over. She wasn't use to having to play fine, she had never let anything get to her before and she had never been a good liar.

"It's a good thing as well or Bella wouldn't of been able to handle it" I could hear the strain in his voice but I played along with his attempt of humour for Renee's sake.

I let out a small laugh which sounded more like a sigh "Yeah, I would have fainted I guess" I turned to Edward and read the worry in his eyes.

"I'm going to go call my family, let them know we got here safely. Want me to let Charlie know?" I nodded at him before turning back to my mum. Strong, cold and nonchalant. I kept repeating hoping it would help me with the whole situation.

Time passed and as I sat with her, we spoke about many things and laughed over the things I had missed and she had missed. I could hear the lump in her throat every time she spoke of Phil or anything related to him and I was certain she could hear it in mine anytime we spoke of the Cullen's and Edward.

"Hon, what's wrong? Are you and Edward fighting?" so she did notice.

"Nope. He's being wonderful as normal" I tried on Edwards calm façade and found that my mum ate it right up.

It had been about thirty minutes since Edward had left to phone our families in Forks and he still hadn't returned. I got up explaining to my mum that I just wanted to make sure he didn't get lost, knowing that was an impossibility. I stuck my head out the door and caught a glimpse of the back of his head as he stood next to the nurses station, slowly I began moving towards him until I could see who he was talking to. The man was older than Charlie, with mostly grey hair, his expensive suit was finished off with a white lab coat and a surgical mask hanging out the corner. Why was Edward talking to the doctor? I headed towards them slowly and watched as the doctor patted Edward soothingly on the shoulder before turning and walking away. Edward dropped his head into his hands and I knew that if a vampire could cry, then he would be.

He must have caught my scent because his whipped his head up and looked directly at me - pain twisted every detail on his face - reaching into his pocket to take out his phone, he turned away heading out the exit doors. I wanted to run to him, to see what had just happened but I didn't. Instead my mind told me to walk away and let him begin to think I don't care about him.

"Did you find him?" Renee asked as I re-entered her room to find her eating her lime Jelly.

"Yeah, he was still on the phone so I left him alone" I sent her a smile and I hoped to God that she noticed it because I wasn't positive I could do it again anytime soon.

More time passed, our conversations turned to Charlie and school, my friends, University and pretty much anything else she could think of to ask. We even spoke about Jacob. It was as she spoke of him I realised my plan. What if I made Edward think I chose Jacob, it wouldn't be difficult, Jacob had always been our relationships weakness at least in Edwards mind. A fresh start. Edward finally walked into the room, it had been over two hours since he had first left and even I was intrigued to find out what he had been doing.

"Get lost?" Renee asked trying to make conversation with him.

Edward smiled politely back before answering "Sorry I was so long, I was just sorting things out with my family" he looked at me and smiled his crooked smile, the cold ice that had already begun freezing my heart melted instantly. "Everything is sorted".

I raised an eyebrow at him as he sat down next to me and took hold of my hand. Leaning in close he whispered in my ear "Nothing changes." My eyes flew from the floor to Renee's face when I heard her sigh.

"Young love" she smiled at us and I knew she would be against my plan. I wonder if she would be so alright with me marrying Edward if she knew the truth about him. I hoped she would.

The doctor entered then and Renee asked us to leave her, to give her thirty before returning. My mum was just like Charlie in some ways, always wanted to handle things on her own. Walking down the hallway I was silent. I didn't know what to say to him, was he serious? I was afraid that if I said the wrong thing that it would be the end now and I didn't want that… not yet.

"Come for a walk with me in the garden?" he spoke as he put a hand out for me to take. I smiled up at him and let him lead the way.

"I know you know Edward. Please just tell me" I said to him before we had even made it out the doors to the small garden-like area.

"He's stable... But they don't know. It's a fifty-fifty chance." I nodded accepting that I would be staying here now. I instantly felt myself freeze - felt the cold run through me, a habit I had clearly picked up from Edward. "Bella listen to me. Don't do this!" but I couldn't look at him. "Nothing has to change for us. I'm not leaving you. Its all arranged already you don't even have to worry about anything."

"All arranged already?" I asked caught off guard.

"Bella you agreed to marry me… I will follow you anywhere… Even here." the cold rushed through me again and I knew it was now or never.

"No you cant" I replied as I pulled my hand from his.

"Bella"

"Edward just listen" I felt the open hole beginning to return to my chest. "I thought I could do this, live in this fantasy but I cant!" it was definitely there now tearing its way through me.

"Bella your being dramatic, I can handle it, no matter how long it will be fine." his words cut me… I didn't want him to have to be inside, to live like a creature of the night. Besides how would we explain it to Renee. No, I couldn't do this. I had to make him go.

I took a deep breath and looked him dead in the eye. "And what if I don't want to live in your world anymore?" my voice was cold, uncaring, completely emptied of compassion. He stepped back from my words and just watched me as I watched him. More time passed and my mask never faulted.

"You don't mean that" but his voice didn't sound sure.

"Yeah I think I do." he just watched me again, frozen.

"No… no… I don't… you cant just change your mind like that" he was right and I knew what I had to use if I wanted him to believe me.

"Its not just like that... Argh… Edward please don't make me say it…"

"Don't!" he cut me off, angry now. "I know what your doing. Don't!" I just stared at him, I knew all I had to say was Jacobs name but I couldn't bring myself to say it. He walked towards me and took my hand "listen to me first, ok. Don't do this… not yet. I promise if it gets too hard I will go but don't make the same mistake I did Bella, don't push me away. It nearly killed us both last time." I looked down remembering how it felt to think I wouldn't make it in time. He was right. "I already arranged everything" I raised an eyebrow at that comment.

"You did?"

"Yes. Everything is sorted… I've even bought a house. I wanted to surprise you but I … its more important you know that I'm serious about staying with you. I was hoping it could be our house while we're here" I couldn't believe it. He's bought a house. He watched me, searching my face for any sign that I'd changed my mind on making him leave.

"You… bought… a… house?" I couldn't believe it let alone say it. A small smile lifted at one side of his mouth as he saw me wavering.

"Yes. I just have to pick up the keys and sign the contract. We can stay here as long as you want Bella. Its outside of town, secluded and far enough that I can wonder in the day on the grounds but close enough that we can get to your mum quickly." I was shocked. How did I deserve this man and the things he would do for me. Could I really let him do this?

"What about your family?"

"Bella, they understand. They will come and visit and if I ask they will move but I don't want to ask that in less I have to. Besides I've gone off by myself before and we're getting married soon." he held my face in his hands. "Please… give me a chance. Please" he begged of me to reconsider. "Please" he whispered before leaning his forehead to mine, waiting for my answer.

How could I turn him away now, hurt him more than he deserves. We could try it, if he was truly willing to try it wouldn't it be wrong not to? "Edward" he kept his eyes closed "If it gets too hard you have to tell me. Promise me?" he opened his eyes and his smile spread across his face touching his eyes. He nodded once before leaning in and kissing me passionately.

As much as I needed him here, if it got too much for him or too dangerous, if anyone got suspicious of what he was… I would have to say my goodbye, even if it means hurting him and lying to him.

"Look at that" he nodded his head towards the sky and the perfectly clear sky dotted with bright sparks.

"Pretty, its so clear tonight" I whispered. It sounded wrong to speak loud and ruin the peacefulness.

"I could get use to looking at that. Still… it doesn't compare to you" he winked at me and I couldn't help but laugh. Then I realised the obvious fact. Here in Florida, Edward would be living like a stereotypical vampire, he wouldn't be able to go out in the day, how is he meant to pick up keys and sign a contract?

"When do you pick up the keys? Do you need me to?" he looked at me confused at first but gradually his confusion turned into a smile as he caught on to what I was stressing about.

"In about forty minutes. I paid them a small bit extra to sort it all out tonight" Small. Huh. I doubt any bribes from the Cullen's were small.

"Not that I'm complaining but… you didn't spend a lot… did you?" I knew it was a stupid question, how could he not spend a lot on a house.

"Well, I didn't really have a choice Bella. We needed a house with certain specification and they happened to be considered luxuries for humans." he shrugged. I took a deep breath but found that I was more relieved that he could stay with me than anything. "Besides this way we can tell your mum I have to work or something during the day, so I can only come over in the evenings." at least that was true. It would make trying to hide his secret easier. "and… when you join me we can come and spend time with Renee without worrying about the weather" he spoke in a small voice as if he wasn't certain that I still wanted that. I knew that this would make a time delay, if Renee needed me I would be here but if I was with Edward then of course I would still want to spend eternity with him. I would always want to spend eternity with him even if I couldn't.

"Edward I still want to join you, I just might need a bit of time first"

"Take as long as you need and want." he kissed me again and this time I found myself throwing all of my strength into it… I had been so close to losing him again, to letting him go that all I wanted to do now was fall asleep in his perfect arms.

We headed back in to find Renee sitting up reading a magazine, I looked up at Edward and whispered as quiet as I could. "How is she?" he didn't look at me.

"She's strong"

I let go of his hand to walk over and take the seat next to the head of her bed. "Any news?" she looked up at me and then glanced at Edward.

"Thank you" I couldn't help glance back and forth, what had I missed. Edward gave her a soft nod as an acceptance before she answered my thought. "Edward made some calls and Dr Cullen called in some favours, some of the best doctors have agreed to take on Phil's case."

"ooh" was my fantastic response. I looked at Edward and I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't mentioned it. He moved the other chair swiftly towards mine and took place next to me rubbing my arm.

"Later" he winked and that same smile took over my features.

"Do you want the keys to the house Bella, there over in my bag" Renee pointed with the only part of her that wasn't purple.

"Actually mum, I was thinking that, you know being engaged and all, that I might stay with Edward." my mum looked completely confused.

"Of course Bella did you think I wasn't going to allow Edward to stay at the house." she let out a small laugh.

"Actually Renee, my family bought us a house here, it was meant to be a wedding present so that we could come and stay here for awhile after the wedding but given the circumstances they thought it would be useful."

"Ooh" she looked down at me with questioning eyes "Well you two are getting married soon, if you both think it's a good idea then who am I to stop you." she plastered a fake smile across her face. I didn't think the smile was fake because she didn't want us to be together but more that she was far too worried and upset to really smile.

"I need to pick up the keys soon. I should really get going. Do you want me to pick you up afterwards?"

"Ummm ok" I didn't want to leave my mum but I knew he wouldn't be able to pick me up once the sun began to shine.

"Bella you should go now baby, I'm about to go to sleep anyway, I can feel the meds taking affect. I have my cell and I have both your numbers. Go get some sleep." god, that sounded good, sleep.

"Are you sure, I can stay?"

"Bella… go" I gave her a kiss on the forehead before leaving with Edward and wishing her a good nights sleep.

"How are you?" he asked as we walked out the main entrance.

"Been better" he nodded. "Been worse though" he stroked my hair as I we reached the front of his hired vehicle. He bent down to kiss me softly.

"You ready to see our new home?" his loving stare always dazzled me

"Oooo, Charlie is soooo going to kill us."

Edward let out a small laugh as he agreed with me. "That's going to be one interesting conversation."

I couldn't help but burst out with shaky laughter.