Shego scowled as she nursed her drink, the evening stretched ahead in interminable boredom, just like it did every year. Sure, Hench's parties were the place to be, everybody who was anybody in the Evil community fought like cats to get an invite, but to her it was just another night when she was contractually obliged to hang around with a bunch of morons.
The jug of water from which she had filled her glass sat in the middle of the table, allowing her to block out, at least partially, the depressing sight of her employer. She was usually sick of the sight of him at the best of times, but at Christmas the feeling of nausea she got by just looking at him just seemed to get worse.
As she took another drink, she caught a waft of the scent she had miraculously been gifted just a few days ago. Closing her eyes, she revelled in the memories it brought back of an easier life, one she often wished to which she could return. Impossible of course, her parents were dead, her brothers teamed up in a superhero group and her, stuck in a stupid job with a stupid boss, and only the accumilated millions of dollars she had accrued in a life of crime. Still, she also had Kimmie.
She knew who had given her this wonderful gift obviously, and wanted to thank the redheaded heroine given the chance. Even if it had been her who broke her original bottle, she couldn't begin to understand how hard it had been for Kim to replace it, she had been trying for years. Also, the occasions she saw the redhead were highlights in a life that was humdrum and boring. If only she knew how to break out of this rut she was trapped in.
She heard the waitress come over, ready to take the drinks order. Drakken was too busy scanning the room for various competitors who had annoyed him over the past year, so she was left to get the round in.
"Virgin Mary and a Bacardi and Coke please." she said, turning to face the woman. She always believed in treating serving staff with courtesy, it was a crappy enough job at the best of times, without some arsehole treating them like shit.
"Certainly madam, I'll just be a minute'"
Shego stared open mouthed as the woman walked away. Dressed in a tacky black corset with red trim, leaving very little to the imagination, it was enhanced, if that was the right word, with a suspender belt and fishnet stockings, and a pair of heels that must be hell to walk in, but that wasn't what had left her speechless in amazement.
No, it was the fact that her waitress happened to be Kim Possible, crime fighter extraordinaire and poster child to the Wholesome Kids of America. Her glass slipped through numb fingers, falling to the table and spilling all over the fine weave tablecloth that covered the surface.
"Shego!" Drakken complained as he moved out of the way of the encroaching spill. "Be more careful!" but his sidekick wasn't listening. Ignoring the mess she had made, she just stared in the direction that Kim had disappeared, before standing abruptly and leaving her boss glaring at her in irritation as he was left alone.
Kim walked up to the bar and gave the steward a quick smile. It was swiftly returned. After all, what true red blooded male wouldn't be stirred by the vision of loveliness before him.
After passing on the order she went to pick up the other table's drinks that were waiting for her, but before she could even steady her tray, someone grabbed her arm and spun her round.
Confronted by the glaring face of Shego, Kim sighed and braced herself for the tirade, She had been expecting it since Hench had allocated her to Drakken's table.
"Are you insane?" Shego whispered, glancing fearfully around her, even as she shook the teenager as if to knock some sense into her. Kim looked on impassively, she knew there was no point trying to calm the hyped up supervillain until she had had her say.
"There can't be more than five people in this room who you haven't incarcerated in the past three years. What the hell do you think you're doing? Come on, I'm getting you out of here."
There was a real undertone of concern in Shego's voice, and it gave Kim a warm feeling in her heart to know that her nemesis was really worried about what might happen to her. It didn't change her reaction however, as she coolly shook off the supervillain's hold.
"I'm working Shego, what does it look like?" She turned away once more, determined to get back to serving tables.
"Working? You look like a street hooker." Shego hissed, somewhat surprised by Kim's cool demeanour at being recognised. "If you're working undercover, it's a pretty crap disguise Princess!"
"Undercover? What are you talking about?" Kim looked at her accuser with a puzzled expression. "I'm just waiting tables."
Shego never got a chance to respond.
"Is there a problem ladies?" The cultured tones of Jack Hench drifted over the two women, as he casually stepped between them.
"Sorry Mr Hench." Kim replied, "I was just serving table six."
Hench nodded his head, gesturing for the girl to get about her business. When Shego moved to intervene, he stepped in her way, as if by accident, although the master thief was smart enough to know that she had overstepped the mark.
"I hope you aren't going to interfere in all my staff's affairs Shego?" he asked, his eyebrows raising slightly to emphasise the point.
"N..No. Of course not." Shego stuttered. If Hench knew who she was, and he obviously did, then she didn't really want to intervene. After all, bad things happened to people who stepped on HenchCo's toes, she had no intention of irritating the most powerful organization in the business world.
As the small man walked away, she absent-mindedly reached out and grabbed the nearest drink on the bar. She barely noticed knocking back a double Jack Daniels she was so distracted. Didn't even notice the drink's owner start to get up angrily before being restrained by a more knowledgable colleague. Instead she just headed back to her seat, her head spinning at the prospect of Kim Possible waiting tables at the biggest Evil Community party of the year.
She sat at the table, not knowing what the hell to do. If Kim got out of this room alive, well she certainly wouldn't put any money on those odds. Waving her arm, she called over a passing serving girl, and put in another order for a double vodka, causing Drakken to raise his eyes in silent concern about how much she was drinking, even if he had the wit not to actually say anything to her face.
Admittedly, it was totally out of character. Shego was never one to lose control, and was known for nursing a single drink throughout a whole night, but she was already on her fourth and the evening had barely started.
Luckily, at least Kim had not continued to serve her table, Hench had quickly reassigned another waitress to avoid any further scenes. The thought of Drakken's reaction to finding out that Kim Possible was in the room sent a shiver down her spine.
In fact, she had hardly seen the teenage crimefighter all night, just once catching a glimpse of her talking to Senor Senior. Apparently, she really was just serving tables after all, there was no way the Senior's wouldn't have recognised her.
She winced slightly as Motor Ed drifted over to annoy his cousin. The only person less glad to see the moronic mechanic than Shego was Drakken, the whole family issue thing and all. What made it worse was she knew why he was here. The floor show was about to start.
It was a matter of contention that Hench tended to forget that women attended his parties, albeit a small minority. Even so, the burlesque shows he tended to put on bordered on the offensive, as Shego had often complained. Many years she was backed up by DNAmy and once even by Camille Leon, but this year it appeared she was in a minority of one. Steeling herself for an hour of nudity and over-excited male testosterone, she took a large gulp of her drink to fortify her for the ordeal to come.
At least Drakken was looking distinctly uncomfortable. His more earthy cousin was not backward in pointing out the various assets of the girls in these shows, something that the emotionally retarded evil scientist found distasteful in the extreme. His dislike of all things sexual was well known, and Shego put it down to him being a classic closet case. If he would only come out and admit it to himself, her life would get a whole lot easier.
The curtain parted, revealing the compere standing in front of a stage bare of all furnishings except for a pole extending right up to the ceiling. Shego's heart dropped, "Oh God, you cannot be serious!" Her involuntary outburst drawing a horrified look from her employer, and a leering grin from his long-haired blond cousin.
"Gentlemen!" The short man standing on the stage drew everyone's attention with a flamboyant flourish. "Tonight we have a special treat."
The curtains behind him stirred as he stepped to one side, gesturing with one arm towards the back of the stage.
"Fresh from the cornfields of the mid-west...ANNE!"
As the man started his buildup, Shego had gripped her drink, just dreading the lewd comments due to be thrown her way by the long-haired neanderthal sitting on the other end of the table. The girl was dressed in a similar corset and stockings outfit as that worn by the waitresses, but was topped off with a pair of arm-length gloves and a red cowboy hat that did nothing to reduce the tackiness of the whole ensemble. Finally, she wore a mask that covered the top half of her face, leaving only the small red lipped mouth visible, grinning at the enthusiastic cheer that greeted her appearance.
Raising her glass for a fortifying swig, Shego watched as the girl threw herself into her routine, flipping upside down, and with one leg wrapped around the pole, she let momentum do the rest, spinning round with arms spread wide to loud cheers from some of the younger, more uncouth members of the audience. Not that Shego noticed, she was too busy choking on her drink as she suddenly realised who it was who was dancing.
The hat might cover the red hair beneath it, the mask hid the distinctive features and green eyes, but nothing could conceal the body Shego knew so well after years of fighting.
"Quite right Shego" Drakken misunderstood his sidekick's distress, "A disgraceful display of sexist stereotyping."
Shego ignored him as she swiftly pushed back her chair and rose to her feet.
"I'll be writing a stiff letter of complaint to Mr Hench, I assure you." he added, afraid that the volatile woman was going to make a scene, but she didn't even register that he was speaking as she hurried away.
As Shego made her way backstage, she could hear the music pounding away, accompanied by the appreciating calls of the audience. All that was going through her mind, however, was turmoil. "What the fuck is she playing at." For the life of her, she failed to understand what Kim was up to, it just didn't make sense.
As the beat intensified, and the cheers grew louder, Shego broke into a run, desperate to save the teenager from making a huge mistake.
On stage, Kim was still titillating the crowd, working them up to a frenzy. Her outfit was skimpy enough that she hadn't actually had to remove much, although the hat had gone, lost in one of her more energetic dance moves.
Standing with her back to the audience, looking coyly over her shoulder, her eyes hidden by the mask she was wearing, she began to tug one glove off her arm to the rhythm of the music. When it came free she stretched it out between both hands, rubbing the fabric sensuously over her body before flinging it out into the crowd. She had just started to work on the second glove, when the curtain fell, to the groans of her disappointed fans. Looking over to the wings of the stage, she found herself staring at the glare of an apoplectic Shego.
Not waiting for the mechanism, the green sidekick had sliced through the ropes holding the drapes open with her bare hands. As soon as they had swung shut, she stormed out on stage and grabbed the semi-naked girl by the arm.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" She might have been whispering, but the sheer intensity in her voice spoke volumes.
Kim's mouth dropped into a pout as the older woman actually shook her by the arm in an attempt to express her disbelief. "Shego" she began but she wasn't allowed to continue.
"J..J..J" Shego was so angry she couldn't speak. Turning, she dragged the protesting girl off the stage and into the wings before spinning round and shaking a finger in her face.
"Right! What the fuck is going on Possible?" Kim opened her mouth to speak but wasn't given a chance. "And don't spin me some story OK? I want the truth."
Kim sighed, she had been hoping to avoid this but couldn't see any way of getting out of it.
"OK Ok! I owed Hench a favour alright?, and he asked me to work tables tonight to pay him back." She looked up into the incandescent glare Shego was directing at her.
"What kind of favour has you stripping for fucks sake?" Something about the teen's story just didn't ring true. "Hench is a bastard but he doesn't take advantage. Waiting tables I can believe, but this?"
Kim had the good grace to blush.
"Look Kim," Shego's voice had dropped to a more reasonable level. "I'm guessing I have this favour with Hench to thank for this perfume I'm wearing." She held up her hand when Kim made to interrupt. "And believe me I'm more grateful than I can say, but this has gone too far."
"But I can't stop." There was a slight tremble in Kim's voice as she looked sheepishly at her feet. "I..I need the money."
She looked up to see the confused look on the older woman's face.
"Look, Hench loaned me the factory, and even gave me permission to use the recipe, that's what the favour was, but I had to pay for the ingredients and labour myself."
She wrung her hands, not wanting to go further but she could see that Shego wasn't going to let her go until she knew the truth.
"Some of those compounds were wickedly expensive, and the crystal for the bottle..." She shuddered at the cost of shipping it in from Peru, along with the skilled artisan who could shape it.
"I had to break into my college fund, and now I've only got six months to pay it back." She felt Shego's arm release it's grip on her arm.
"After all, babysitting can only bring in so much, and I figured I'd get better tips if I ..." her voice trailed away in the face of the look she was being given.
"Money? That's it?" Shego couldn't believe it was something so trivial. "Hell, I'll pay you the full amount right now."
"Stolen!" Kim's voice rose in outrage at the thought of taking dirty money. "No way Shego. You might not like it, but compared to what you do, at least this is honest work."
She made to storm off in a huff, but she once more found her arm being grabbed, this time, the expression on the green woman's face was almost pleading.
"Kim, I have legit sources too!" She actually looked pained as she continued. "Please, stop it, you're too good for all this!"
Kim raised an eyebrow at this. "Too good for a hard day's work. Don't be silly." She pulled her arm free. "Anyway, I intend to earn it, otherwise it won't mean a thing."
This last comment made no sense to Shego, but seeing there was no way the girl was going to listen, she just stood and watched her walk away.
Drakken peered at his sidekick with a concerned look on his face. For a woman renowned for not drinking to excess, she was certainly knocking back the sauce. Drink after drink was delivered to the table; all of them doubles, and all of them swiftly consumed. Not that she looked drunk, however, but he could hear incoherent mutterings he didn't understand. Something about a "stupid girl" and "dumb code of morality" that made no sense. Resigned, he saw another glass placed in front of his volatile second in command and he turned away, hoping to find something less depressing to look at.
Shego didn't pay him any attention at all. She was consumed by a black mood at the thought of what Kim was putting herself through. After the argument back stage, the teenager had been avoiding her, and she hadn't seen her for a good half hour, but that didn't stop her brooding.
Still, on the bright side, the rest of the floor show had been more regular performers, no repeat showing by "Anne". It had taken her ten minutes to remember that this was Kim's second name, and although she could take some comfort in the fact that she had managed to disguise her identity on the stage, it didn't make her feel any better about the situation. Taking a long draught of her latest double vodka, she looked miserably around the room, wondering what the crazy girl was going to do next.
"Gnyarrrgh" Drakken shrieked as Shego sprayed him with a shower of pure vodka. he rubbed his face frantically as the unfortunate eye which had caught much of the blast began to sting furiously. By the time he could see again, his infuriating sidekick had left. Muttering furiously, he headed off to the restroom to clean up.
"Now Now Junior, you know I have delicate skin." Shego could hear Kim, still in her Anne persona chastising the eager young man. Senor Senior had obviously called it a night, leaving his impressionable son to his own devices, and by the looks of things, she was certainly making an impression.
"Only hundreds in the top, anything less has to go in the garter."
The mercenary could see her target bending over the table, exposing her cleavage to the occupant. Judging by the bundle of bills tucked into her garter, she had been working the tables for some time, but Junior had the funds to really go to town. Even as she watched, she saw him stuff a bundle of cash down Kim's top, the young girl pulling back before he could step out of the line and cop a feel.
Smiling sweetly, she called back "Always remember to tip your waitress." before turning to head back to the bar, only to find herself once more nose to nose with an incredulous Shego.
Not even bothering to speak, she grabbed Kim's arm and dragged her to a more secluded spot, even as the redhead was reaching down her top and pulling money out of her cleavage.
"This has got to stop!" she hissed. "You can't do this, its.. its wrong!"
Kim's lips twitched at the incongruousness of the master thief's comments. "Anything's possible for a Possible." she recited her family motto back at the green woman.
Shego was almost at the hair pulling stage. "Please Kim, whatever, I'll pay for you to go to college, just stop this OK?"
Kim shook her head, impervious to the pleading tone of the older woman's voice.
"I told you, I intend to earn it." She went to move away but the grip on her arm prevented it.
"Please Kim, Please?" Shego had never begged for anything in her life before, but she was doing so now. "Whatever you want, I'll do it but you've got to stop this."
Kim looked at her, and inscrutable look on her face.
"Anything? Really?"
Shego sighed in relief that the insufferable girl was actually considering her offer. "Yes, anything, just say it, and I'll do it. Just so long as you let me give you the money and you get out of here."
"OK, you're on." Kim appeared to think for a while. "I want..."
"Yes?" prompted Shego, expecting a request for information or even to turn herself in, anything had to be better than the slow torture Kim had been putting through her all night.
"I want...." Kim paused for dramatic effect, enjoying the sight of her foe so on edge. " A kiss."
Shego's jaw dropped. "You want a what?" she whispered, unable to believe what she had heard.
"You heard me!" Kim smiled evilly at the older woman's disbelief. "And not a quick peck either. A proper kiss, under mistletoe, right over there."
Shego's eyes followed where her tormentor was pointing. It was right in the centre of the room where Hench had fixed the largest bunch of mistletoe either woman had ever seen.
"You can't be serious." She gasped, looked back into Kim's eyes, looking for any sign that the redhead was joking, but she was met with a dismissive shrug.
"Well, if you aren't willing to pay up, I'll have to earn it in another way." She stepped away from the still stunned Shego, looking over her shoulder as she walked away. "Motor Ed promised to give me a tip I'd remember."
This finally jerked Shego out from her stunned inaction. Shuddering at the implications of that final comment, and knowing how the sex mad metalhead's mind worked, she finally surrendered to the inevitable.
"Fine, it thats what it takes." She marched up to where Kim was standing and grabbed her wrist. She weaved through the maze of tables, several of whose occupants tried to catch Kim's attention, waving notes of various denominations in her direction. Only when they stood right beneath the parasitic fertility symbol did she stop.
"Don't move!" Her tone left no room for disobedience, and Kim watched as the most renowned woman in the Evil community headed straight for the bar.
"Whisky!" She barked, and when the barman tried to fill a glass, she just snatched the bottle and downed half of it in one draught. Moving to place it back on the bar, she thought better of it and took another swig before heading back towards the waiting redhead. As she walked towards her fate, her head was swimming from the vast amounts of alcohol she had been drinking, and walking appeared to suddenly become difficult. Even as she stepped up to the smiling Kim, and slim pale arms wrapped themselves around her body, everything faded to black.
Shego jerked awake with a cry, not quite able to believe the dream she had had. She was nude, not that that was anything unremarkable. Drakken never had sorted out the central heating in this lair, and it varied between tropical and arctic.
The green woman looked around the room, taking comfort that everything was where it should be, the wardrobe, the dressing table, the clothes strewn across the floor. Wait! What?
Pale arms reached up from behind her, pulling her into a hug as the hands sought to cup the full breasts tipped with dark green nipples. Red hair tickled her ear as a voice breathed in her ear. "Come back to bed!"
Shego turned to look at the sight of a naked Kim, looking at her with an apprehensive look on her face. Shego's mind finally gave up trying to figure out what was going on and, unable to reason or even think rationally, took the easy way out and put up no resistance as she was pulled back into the arms of her lover.
An hour later, she lay on her side, her head propped up on one arm, the elbow leaning on her pillow, while the other hand smoothed a stray red tress from her partner's forehead.
"I thought you were going to kill me." Kim still couldn't believe that Shego hadn't kicked her right out of bed at the very least.
Shego shrugged. "I figured we had already done it drunk, I may as well do it again sober."
She leaned in and gave the girl's petite nose a kiss. "Gotta say, I'm glad I did."
Kim snuggled into her lover's body, nipping and sucking at the delectable delights hovering just above her head. Shego purred at the attention before deciding to get business out of the way.
"So Princess, how much do I owe you?"
"Nothing, Hench already paid." Kim's face blanched as she realised what she had said, her hand flying to her mouth in a futle attempt to stop the words she had already spoken from leaving her mouth.
"What?" Shego's voice had an ominous tone, the atmosphere in the room dropped noticably as an icy look appeared in her eye.
A picture appeared in her mind of being dragged out of the party past an amused looking Hench. The smartly dressed businessman was holding a cheque, which he passed to the scantily clad redhead as she passed, Kim barely stopping to tuck it between her breasts before continuing to drag the heavily drunk Shego from the room.
Her eyes flicked to the bedside table on Kim's side. Resting on its top was a familiar looking piece of paper. Words flashed briefly in her mind "You win Possible" and she gasped at the implication.
Faster than lightning, she lunged forward and grabbed the scrap of paper off the table before Kim could react. Glaring accusingly at the still horrified Kim, she opened it up and looked at the amount. Her eyes widened in surprise.
"Fifty Thousand Dollars?" her voice squeaked in surprise, before turning to look at the vulnerable redhead once more.
"A bet? This was all a bet?" Kim flinched at the incredulity in the older woman's voice.
"No, not all of it." there were tears in Kim's voice as she pleaded her case. "I just had to get you to kiss me." Her face crumpled as she confessed everything.
"I was broke Shego" she wailed. "My college fund was half gone and there was no other way to make up the difference. Hench probably thought I had no chance, he just wanted to get his hands on the rest of my money."
Suddenly, Kim's behaviour last night began to make some kind of sense. "You set me up!" she accused. "All that business with the stripping and everything was just to get me to agree to kiss you?"
Kim nodded, put that way, it didn't sound a very plausible plan but it had worked. Her plans usually did somehow.
Shego shook her head at the sheer audacity of it. "Fifty Thousand Dollars?" She gave the still terrified girl a sly look. "You should have just told me" she smiled, "I'd have done it for a lot less than that!"
Kim smiled back. "Yeah, but you'd have wanted half the money, and I couldn't afford it."
"And this?" Shego gestured at the naked frame of the redhead beneath her. Is this part of the bet too?
"NO!" Kim's emphatic refusal rang around the room. "After we kissed, you insisted on making sure I left, and as you were too drunk to drive, my car gave you a lift back here."
"Your car gave me a lift?" Shego's brow wrinkled in confusion at the strange turn of phrase Kim had used.
"Well, to tell you the truth, it took more than a few drinks before I could go through with it all, so I wasn't really fit to drive either." From the look on Shego's face, Kim could see that she didn't understand. "My car has a self drive facility, with built in satnav" she explained.
Shego nodded as the penny dropped. "And then what?"
"Well, we snuck back in, and you decided to give me a goodnight kiss. One for road was how you put it, and here we are."
Kim moved to sit up, but Shego was on her like a shot. Pinning the smaller woman to the bed, she looked down into the trapped teen's eyes.
"You devious minx. I don't know if I should kill you or kiss you."
Kim looked up, her eyes filled with lust. "A kiss is more fun" she smirked.
Unable to fault her logic, Shego leaned down and kissed her, dragging the covers over them both as Kim pulled her down into a passionate embrace.