Christmas Present

The Warden hid under the covers upon hearing the 2 o'clock chime. He cringed, waiting—but no one and nothing came. After listening his closest for five minutes and hearing nothing, he dared to peer out over the blankets. He was startled and filled with dread to see two white-robed figures standing at the end of the bed. But delighted to recognize them as two living people he knew.

"Twins! Am I happy to see you!" he cried out, ignoring the fact that he had not heard the techno music that usually accompanied their arrival.

"We're sorry we're late," Twin #1 intoned.

"You're just in time!" Warden flew out of bed and lunged forward, embracing a twin in each arm. "Oh, Twins, you have to hide me! Teleport me anywhere but here! There's this ghost due here any minute to show me the error of my ways or some such and I need you to help me! I can't stand to see another ghost! I know this all sounds so crazy but it's Superjail for God's sake!"

"Your ghost is sorry for being late," Twin#2 supported his brother's statement. The Warden looked up with panicked eyes and noticed the faded image of his dresser in one of the robes. The Twins were transparent.

"You're…" he jerked away from the brothers.

"The Ghost of Christmas Present," they answered in unison.

"You're…dead?"

"Why no," Twin #1 told him. His brother continued the reply. "Not the real Twins, that is. We are merely taking a form more familiar to you. The real Twins are in their lab, unaware of us."

"The Twins are unaware of you? I just can't win tonight," the Warden crossed his arms and sat back on the bed.

"Time to go, Warden," #1 prompted.

The Warden slid back and took hold of his headboard. "I'm staying here."

For intangible beings, the Twins imposters were considerably forceful. The two grabbed a strong hold of his arms, each linking an arm with one of their own, and teleported him away.

When the three reappeared, the Warden recognized the place as his accountant's office.

"Ha! At least I'm in my own time!" he gloated. "Jared! Get these two out of here!" He ran to the man at the desk and attempted to shake him, but his hands merely fazed through Jared's shoulders.

"We are ghosts here as well," #2 told him.

"Now watch," #1 instructed.

"Oh, this night's going to go on forever," Jared said as if on cue. "Yet another Christmas Eve organizing bank statements." He reached an arm out to the side—through the Warden's torso—and grabbed a large bottle in his small hand. He took a long gulp before setting it back down.

"He turns to alcohol big time when he's stressed," #1 reminded the Warden.

"Comes this close to relapsing from rehab," #2 held up two fingers to exemplify the measurement.

"His problem," Warden insecurely crossed his arms.

"As an employer…as an acquaintance, you could offer him some support," #1 suggested.

"Especially since alcohol only fuels his depression," #2 added.

"The depression that's lasted fifteen years."

Warden cocked his head. "Isn't that half his life?"

"We're afraid so."

He turned back to Jared. "I don't recall him saying anything."

"We doubt he ever gets the time," Twin #1 nodded to the paperwork that littered the desk.

"Are we…Are we done here?" The Warden was growing increasingly uncomfortable with being here.

"We do have plenty of ground to cover," the Twins agreed, and linking arms with him, whisked him away again.

Warden recognized all too well their next destination, as he had stared at it for many hours on end through the camera he'd installed—or rather he had stared at its occupant for hours on end…He watched endearingly as his long-time crush sat down on her couch with a midnight snack to watch TV.

"Oh, my Aaallliiicce," Warden swooned, "You ghosts aren't so bad."

"She's lonely, you know," Twin #1 spoke up.

"I've been trying to fix that for years…"

"Perhaps if she had more time to know you," Twin #2 suggested, "or if she had more time at all."

"Well, we're on a tight schedule," #1 pulled back a glove to check a watch. "Let's make our last stop."

"A cellblock?" Warden said quizzically upon fading into their last part of the tour. "What does this have to do with my staff?"

"Christmas extends farther than your staff," #1 pointed out.

"Look." #2 gestured to the inmates.

"I made you a little something," one inmate said to his cellmate. The cellmate unwrapped a wad of newspaper to reveal a bar of soap shaped like a snowman.

"I know it's not as good as the soap reindeer you gave me," the first inmate held up the aforementioned item.

"It's perfect."

"Oh, a license plate!" cried another prisoner, "It's nice to know you care."

"Hope you like it," his cellmate said.

"If we ever get out of here, I'll use it."

They both laughed.

"They are subject to constant endangerment and substandard living conditions," #1 showed the Warden.

"And yet they are celebrating Christmas with as much joy as ever," #2 finished.

"I don't see why," Warden shrugged.

"Well, our final subject is right over here," #1 motioned to a nearby cell. The three moved towards it.

A whimpering chirp came from one of the bunks. Gary was knelt beside an ailing Bird, who displayed labored breathing and a high fever.

"What will happen to him?" Warden wondered aloud.

"We see an empty bunk littered with a few stray feathers," #2 foretold.

"Speaking of the future," Twin #1 mentioned, "we should be making way for your last visitor about now."

"I'd personally like to show him one last person, brother," Twin #2 requested.

"We haven't the time."

"It's on the way, my sibling," #2 snapped his fingers and the trio disappeared.

"Right outside my office?" the Warden observed when they arrived.

"Look behind you," #2 tapped him. He did so, and saw none other than his dear Jailbot, plugged into the wall charger.

"You can't really see it at the moment—"

"—but he always misses his father this time of year as well."

"Well, I suppose we must be going now," #1 said.

"One more thing," Warden asked, "If you're not the real Twins, who are you?"

"Coincidentally we are a pair of twins," Twin #1 told him.

"Twin sisters, actually," Twin #2 added.

"In life we worked for this mobile organization called UltraPrison," #1 explained.

"We lost our lives when the ship crashed into some jail in a far-off dimension we were passing," #2 finished.

The two bid him a merry Christmas and teleported away, leaving the Warden dumbfounded. He didn't even have time to hide before the clock struck three.