Penname- Vampgirl18

Dialogue Flex: "He would take the secret to the grave."

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Creative Original or Derivative (Fanfiction): Derivative

Rating: T

Warning(s): Nope. Does general hilarity count?

Disclaimer: All copyright, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

I'm thoroughly convinced Bella has no taste. I know she's going for an 'I'm indie, I don't need to look clean all the time' look, but so of the stuff in her closet was absolutely hideous.

Jazzy and I were Bella-sitting this weekend as Edward and the rest of the family went hunting. We went last week so we were the best pick to watch over her. Besides, I felt Bella and Jasper needed to get to know one another. If Jasper spent more time with her…maybe he wouldn't want to kill her all the time.

I was in the process of cleaning out her closet…not all of it…just the fugly stuff, and putting in some suggested clothing. I picked p a sweater off the floor and gasped at what I saw under it.

Romance novels. Tons of them. All with some sort of vampire theme to them. Night Pleasures. Night Embrace. Undead and Unwed. Fangs for the sex. Dead to the world. Dead Until Dark. Blood Lust.

I always wondered why I got a vision every time Bella picked up a paper back book, but I just brushed it off. I hadn't realized she planned her romance novel reading around the time my brother was out of town.

I started laughing hysterically. This had to be one of the funniest things I ever saw in my life.

Jasper appeared in the doorway of Bella's room, a worried expression at my cackling. Bella appeared next to him, confused at my rolling around the floor. When she noticed what I was clutching to my chest, she turned bright scarlet.

"Alice!" She screeched at me.

Bella rushed forward and grabbed the romance novels out of my hands. She pushed me out of the way and threw them back into the back of her closet. She slammed the door shut again and glared at me fiercely.

Jasper, who apparently had had enough of the haywire emotions, sent out a calming vibe through the entire room. I relaxed immediately, lying on the floor.

"God Alice! Don't you know when not to pry! That is private stuff!" Bella sat on her bed and raked her hands through her hair, a habit she picked up from Edward.

"Bella? What's going on," Jasper questioned.

I decided to answer for her. "I found Bella's stash of dirty romance novels."

Jasper's eyes got eyed. Bella groaned into her hands.

"Really? Well, Miss Bella, I didn't know you were looking for material to try out on my brother," Jasper teased lightly.

Bella stood up and shoved past Jasper. "I'll be downstairs. Come down when you're done making fun of me."

"Aww Bella, don't be like that! Jasper doesn't care! Do you Jasper?"

He leaned against the doorframe and stared at a red faced Bella. "Nah. You should see some of the stuff Alice has in-"

I interjected before he could go too far. "Alright! Thanks. As I was saying, he doesn't care, and even if he did he would take the secret to the grave."

Jasper nodded in affirmation. "Yup. I won't tell a soul…besides Emmett, of course."

The glare Bella gave him could have melted steel.

"As I said, I'll be down stairs. You both suck."

I couldn't help but giggle. "Well…if the fangs fit…"