Well, folks, it's been a long time since I updated. I am happy to say that I have gotten a lot better at writing, if not in techniques then in plot and humor. Oh, and if your reviews aren't flames (which are SO much fun to read) then vote on who should win. I can't figure it out. Thanks for reading!
"Have you ever suffered from…" the cat stared down at the stack of papers he was holding. "Diagnostic Hypertension?" he asked. "Well, if you have, then know that there is hope for you yet!" the cat muttered something else under his breath. "Just take water! Water is copyright to Cat…flak?" he asked. He glanced off-screen. The director urged him on. "Well, Diagnostic Hypertension can be followed with some side effects such as dehydration, impulsive stupidity, and an intense case of something that makes you eat a lot. Water is not recommended for newborns." The cat was about to leave when Firestar ran screaming across the stage. "Well, folks, that was someone who has been overtaken by Diagnostic Hypertension, and is on the second side effect. Know that there could be more, such as a very high intelligence following impulsive stupidity. Take water today! Um, bye!" The cat fled the stage.
"Thank you, Bob. Now back to the show!" said Jaypaw.
Brambleclaw looked at Ashfur. Jaypaw climbed up onto his rock and was about to say something when Firestar interrupted. All the cats put their paws to their ears and gritted their teeth. But Firestar didn't scream. Instead, he was speaking at a normal volume. How rare, the cats thought. He was saying, "I find this whole competition to be obsolete. The radius and rules of Pi say that the numbers never end, things can change. I find that the chemical makeup of your brain leaves much to be desired." A few cats chuckled. All of them laughed. Jaypaw was staring at Firestar, mouth agape. "The universe has no beginning and no end. This is pointless." Jaypaw shook himself off of the trance that had overtaken him. "umm…" he said.
"Who wants to go get pizza?" asked Brambleclaw.
"WE DO!!" screamed the cats. They all flocked out of the camp.
"Um, okay, Warrior Olympics will continue shortly, but first let me… ahhh!" Jaypaw never finished because a tomato hit him, followed by a watermelon.
Cloudtail took the mike. "Thank you Jaypaw, that will be all. See us next time on Warrior Olympics!"