After the Kill

Aurora's POV.

Why is living harder than dying sometimes? It seems after every time I kill another part of me seems to break off. Making me one less piece of a human. But then again, I don't even think I am human anymore. Last night's kill took a lot out of me. I couldn't even open my eyes this morning. Even though I prayed really hard yesterday, my heart is still heavy. I know God listens to my prayers but I feel like he wants to abandon me sometimes. And even though I know he won't its getting harder and harder to believe. I wish I could stop killing. I don't want to be S.H.I.E.L.D's executioner anymore. God knows it. I knows it. And even Tony knows it. So why am I still doing it!? I don't know. But as I sit here on my high beam I look out the window and see the city. It's sunny with a blue sky and everything. I can hear children playing and cars driving to and fro through the city. It's so happy out there. So why am I so unhappy in here? I have a great home and a great family (if you can call a dog, a guardian dragon, to bickering Brazilian twins, and a narcissistic boss family). I really don't have anything to complain about right?

"Aurora are you awake?" my guardian Haru whispers in my ear. I look at him and give him a weak smile. "You look sick. Is there anything I can do for you? Breakfast perhaps?" he asks floating mid air, his tail twitching like a cat's.

"No Haru, I'm fine. Just tired." I say looking down at my dog, watching him sleep peacefully, wishing I could do the same.

"Last night took a lot out of you huh?" Haru says lying on the high beam with me. I don't answer knowing that he already knows my answer.

"Well dear it will pass. Just pray. And please eat something. Your awfully thin. When's the last time you've eaten?" he fusses nipping at my loose close.

" Awhile. It's hard for me to eat Haru. Especially now. With these jobs night after night its hard for me to do anything anymore." I say tears filling in my eyes.

"Now now, don't cry. It will get better I'll talk to Tony and see if he can assign you different shifts or something. Now you just get some rest." Haru hums wiping my tears away. I quickly calm down and close my eyes to rest, hearing voices coming down the hallway.

I know this is a little different in POV and writing tense, but hey why not mix it up! Please review!

-Def Poet-