A/N:- CALL IN THE PAPARAZZI PEOPLE! WeepingAngel123 finally updates after 5 and a half millenniums of thinking, writing, bus pass nibbling and pig chasing over fields of Lego. Me -Away laughing on a VERY fast camel!
Sozzy people for the loooooooooooooooooong wait! I didn't mean for THIS chapter to be up so late, but Stalag14 conquered my mind for ages with exams, projects, homeworks and stuff, so I didn't really have the time! LOL! HAVE SOME FREE RAINBOWS TO MAKE UP FOR IT! Also *sheep baahs in the background*, I've been kinda STUCK for ideas! I know, 'tis amazing what Writer's Block can do to one's mind! =P
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR FABBITY FAB REVIEWS!
DISCLAIMER: Me don't own no-one from Doctors Who or Doctors Who a' all, except Ms Rooteer. Mind you, I nearly called her Ms. Root Beer…
READ ON EARTHLINGS!
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"Gwen…" the Doctor hissed quietly. "Can you…"
"Already done. Don't worry; I closed the window, before they saw it," Gwen whispered back, stepping forward.
"Ah. Cos you see, the thing is…"
"Who the hell is she?" Mickey wondered aloud
"Well, well, well: what do we have here," the woman boomed, interrupting.
Her voice was deeply Estuarian and posh, as her words echoed across the large room's walls. She stood on the top of a set of stairs, her face stern and forbidding, as a dozen heavily armoured men clacked forward around her. Her hair was gathered into a neat and elaborate auburn bun at the top of her head, two shiny, black slides clipped her fringe tidily in place and she was clad in a smart, navy blue suit, white blouse, black tights and dark blue high heels. A pair of dark-rimmed, chunky glasses occupied a part of her face, and she adjusted the frames slightly.
"The Boss isn't going to be happy about this…" Her voice hardened. "Boys, ready to fire. Now, for you, who are you people? Who sent you?"
"Oh, you mean us?!" the Doctor gasped, feigning innocence.
"Who else would I be talking about? The Ghosts of Christmas Past? I don't think so," the woman snapped, her voice becoming clearer and clearer, more recognisable to the Doctor by the second.
"Nah, no need to worry 'bout us! We 're just stopping by, annual classified check up. You know, checking the odd file or too, make sure everything's in order…" the Doctor explained nonchalantly. "I'm John, John Smith and these…" He hand gestured the people behind him. "Are my colleagues. So, if you'd just tell your army
"I don't think so, Mr Smith. I find your statement very hard to believe. No personnel or Executive are alerted of these visits, because….?" The woman gestured something and the security guards clomped forward, cocking their guns.
"No one knows when we come, not even the Big Cheese – just stopping off, cloak-and-dagger, you know the drill," the Doctor rambled, a large grin on his face despite the seriousness of the situation. He nodded and craned his head back round a bit. "Isn't that right, colleagues?"
Captain Jack, Gwen, Ianto, Mickey and Martha all starting murmuring "Yeah"s and "Yes"s, nodding and agreeing forcibly, as they each eyed the military guns and tazors and weapons the soldiers/security guards possessed.
"See?" the Time Lord said smugly, but he followed to scratch the nape of his neck absentmindedly. "Well, unless… unless, this is the wrong building. You know all those secret tunnels and narrow passageways. Hard to tell these days. So, just in case, we got the wrong building and all that… Where is this place exactly?"
"Torchwood Storage Facility 13.5, Cardiff."
"I told you so!" the Captain intercepted complacently. "I said it was Torchwood, but oh no, it's all technobabble and intrusions!"
"Captain, now is not the time," The Doctor reminded seriously.
"Ooh, who's the moody Time Lord," Jack sing-songed.
"Rude and not ginger," Martha quoted with a small giggle, remembering a past quotation from the Time Lord himself.
"There's no phone signal down here!" Ianto told them, rather randomly at that.
"Enough of the chatter!" the woman declared once more, clicking her heels together. "Mr Smith, if you are who you say you are, where are your credentials? Every good secretive 'filing inspector' must have an identification card I'm sure." She smirked. "Or are you just out from the trends these days?"
"Me, out of the trends? Never… Absolutely ridiculous!"
"Police Box?" He heard someone mutter behind me and there was suddenly snorts of laughter filled the air.
"There's nothing wrong with the TARDIS! And it isn't not my fault that the Chameleon Circuit's not working, well yes it is but… that is the point because---"
"Ahem."
"Where was I? Ah, yes, credentials!" the Doctor dug around frantically in his coat pockets, before finally pulling out a small pad of battered, brown leather.
He strode forward purposefully and ignoring the cocked guns in the air, reached the anonymous woman and flapped open the Psychic Paper. Hoping and wishing that, on Pete's world at least, Torchwood didn't provide psychic training; he winced and held it up to the woman's face.
"See, it says it all, right here!"
"That's strange…" the woman cocked her head to the side. "Because all I see is a blank piece of paper."
The Doctor shrugged and bounced back, snapping the Psychic Paper shut, "Ah, nice try. So what happens next? A nice tea party with the Boss perhaps? Or a day in jail cell? I'd personally prefer the first option, if I'm being picky, but--"
"Nice to meet you, 'John Smith'," she used her fingers to gesture her point. "I'm Ms Rooteer and my lovely boys here shall be escorting you out of here. All resistance shall enforce violence and weapon usage, we shall not be held responsible for any deaths or injuries. Get 'em, boys."
"YES, MA'AM!" A dozen male voices cried in unison and marched forward, guns posed and high in the air.
"Cheerio." Ms Rooteer smiled, waved curtly at them with a dark glint in her piercing green eyes and strutted out the room, through a supposed opening above them.
They charged forward and the Doctor backed up – eyes widened, as the soldiers closed in on them.
"Hey, now lads, no need to be hasty. We don't mean any trouble. Look!" he gestured, with his eyes, frenetically at his raised arms. "We'll come with you – no resistance, I promise! Just let us walk off our own, look if anything happens, you heard your Boss, and you can shoot."
"No can do, mate." The soldier said plainly with a small shrug.
He gripped hold of the Doctor's arms and pinned them behind the Time Lord's back, arm tucked under one arm as he nudged him forwards, his strong arms still securing the Doctor.
"OW!" protested the Doctor and much to his satisfaction, the soldier loosened his grip. "Go easy on the rest of them…"
"DOCTOR!" Gwen yelled, over the raucous of their struggle against the soldiers. "What do we do?"
"Nothing," the Doctor sighed, secretly flashing her a wink. "Just do as they say. Don't resist them."
"And what's your name?" the Captain said cheekily, eyeing up the soldier who was having no trouble captivating him. Ianto shot Jack a worriedly envious look.
The Captain continued to flirt with the unresponsive captor, having seen the Doctor's furtive wink and knowing that the skinny excuse of a Time Lord had a plan up his sleeve. He just knew it. Besides, what bad did a little flirting ever do?
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Soon enough, all of them were rounded up and forced to bunch up together, with two soldiers guarding them front, back and both sides. A soldier jabbed them from behind, pushing them forward and up the steps, into a gathering of bright, white light.
They were led forcefully through a narrow hallway. As the soldiers talked to each other in large, loud voices, the Doctor discreetly shuffled into the middle of them and explained his plan to them in a soft, hushed voice.
"I want you to cover your ears as soon as I say now. 'Now' not being now, but 'now' being after I've finished explaining, when to say 'now' because if you did cover your ears now then that would just be very--" He caught their looks and he paused, continuing. "Anyway, all of you just do as I say."
"What do we do after?"
"We'll discuss that, later, thank you Captain."
"You're just making this all up as you go along, aren't you?"
The Doctor opened his mouth to protest at Martha's choice of words, but faltered and settled for a: "Yep…" popping the 'p' as always.
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"NOW!" the Doctor yelled, producing the Sonic Screwdriver and pushing down on a button.
"What the hell's going on?" a soldier yelled, as all six of them cupped their hands over their ears.
The Doctor twiddled the setting and not a second later, an irate high-pitched buzzing filled the air and the frequency of the ear-splitting noise reverberated down and around the empty white corridors. The soldiers stumbled, as the frequency rippled the air around them and sent them tumbling backwards, struggling to shield their ears from the noise. They dropped their weapons and armour, releasing the six out of their grip.
"DOCTOR, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?" Captain Jack shouted over the high-pitched buzzing.
The Doctor squinted at the Captain through the waves of sound, just about registering his words. With an experienced flick, he switched the Sonic Screwdriver off with a polite bleep and took a glance at the ear-shielding soldiers splayed on the floor.
He laughed, "We RUN!"
And so: Martha, Mickey, Captain Jack, Ianto, Gwen and the skinny excuse of a Time Lord ran for their lives once more.
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A/N:- I am seriously falling behind all of my stories and I apologise for the shortness of this chapter! I think I'm gonna have to break down the lengths of each chapter, if I'm gonna get updates quicker.
HEEHAW!!! QUACK!!! Reviews are rubber ducks… *shakes the cage holding one Time Lord by the name of the Doctor suggestively* MWAHAHAHA!
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