This Is So Not Me – Chapter 3

Written by Ms. Maggs

"Hi, Sara." David acknowledged his co-worker with a nod as he passed by on the way to his vehicle. "I'm on my way back with the body. You'll want to cover your shoes. It's a mess in there."

"Thanks for the warning." She ducked under the tape to enter the motel room crime scene.

"Hey, Sara," Vartann smiled at his favorite CSI. "Sanders will be happy to see you. It's a bloodbath in there."

"So I've heard." Sara set down her kit and covered her shoes with a fresh pair of white booties. "Where's Greg?"

"Bathroom."

When she arrived in the doorway and saw Greg photographing a bath tub full of red fluid, she said, "I didn't know Vartann was being literal when he said it was a bloodbath."

Startled by the voice, Greg whirled around. "Hey." After the rocky start to the night, he was thrilled to see a friendly face. "What are you doing here?"

"Catherine thought you might need some help."

"Definitely." Greg ran through the details. "Housekeeping found the DB in the tub and the manager identified him as the man who rented this room two days ago - Darren Oakes, 39 from Houston."

"Who uses their real ID when they're checking into a no-tell motel?"

"Exactly what I thought, but Vartann ran the license and verified. Married, four kids with a house in the 'burbs." Greg walked into the bedroom. "Mr. Oakes was here for the insurance convention and checked into the Hilton with his co-workers three days ago using a corporate card. In between convention meetings, he used cash to rent a room here. So far everyone Vartann has questioned didn't remember seeing anyone coming or going, but from what I saw in the bedroom, someone else definitely came and went."

"Sounds like the old 'walk on the wild side gone wrong' scenario."

"Maybe, but there are no signs of a struggle, the guy had two slashed wrists, and his wallet is still on the dresser with cash in it."

"Sounds too easy."

"Yeah, but that's not how my night's going, so…"

"Maybe your luck's turning."

"I doubt it."

Sara shook her head. "When was the last time you had a night off?"

"I'm too tired to remember," he replied, forcing a chuckle

Recalling the tension in the locker room that morning, she said, "Tomorrow's my night off. I'll cover your shift if you want me to."

Greg jumped at the offer. "Seriously?"

"You were always there for me when I needed a break or an ear. I owe you." She smiled at her exhausted friend. "Start making plans."

Remembering he was at odds with Nick, he wasn't sure how he'd be spending the night.

"And if you need to talk about..." She paused to glance over her shoulder before finishing her thought. "If you need to talk about what you're not allowed to talk about, you know you still can trust me, right?" She joked, "I mean, in case you were worried that I'm under some archaic obligation to tell my husband everything, I'm not. Unlike some women, I managed to get married and keep my name, brains, and rights."

"Thanks, I might take you up on that too." In that moment Greg realized exactly how grateful he was to have Sara back. "But for now, I'd settle for you helping me find a sharp object in this bloodbath."

"I'll get the strainer."

"Pasta or fish?" April pondered out loud as she flipped through a Rachel Ray cooking magazine. Since Nick was a Texan, she guessed he might prefer beef, but as a vegetarian, the thought of stinking up her condo with cow made her stomach turn. "Pasta it is."

After tearing out the recipe for Thai Pasta with Vegetables, she checked the clock on her bedside table. Noting that it was almost one in the morning, she forced herself to turn off the lights. While she had a long day at the office tomorrow, Nick would be sleeping during the day. If he was going to arrive for their dinner date rested and refreshed, she needed to snooze, because the last thing she wanted was to fall asleep on the hunk when he was up for an all-nighter.

"We've been here all night," Sara stated as sunlight fought its way through the dirty motel windows.

"Yeah." Greg held up his latest bag of evidence. "We have enough prints and DNA to place two dozen people in this room." It was hard to believe housekeeping found the vic, because it was obvious that nothing had been cleaned in weeks. "I think the only thing housekeeping does after each guest is change the sheets and fill the coin-operated condom dispenser."

"Hey, did you get the coins?"

"No, I thought you did."

Shaking her head, Sara walked over to the machine with the keys the manager had given her. "I hope most people bring their own," she remarked while opening the coin compartment and letting the contents spill on a plastic evidence bag. "Nope."

Greg didn't hide his disappointment. "There have to be two hundred coins in that pile! Doesn't anyone have unsafe sex anymore?" When Sara flashed him a look, he grumbled, "I don't really want people to have unsafe sex, I'm just not in the mood to print all those coins."

"I figured."

Although the call originally looked like a suicide, the lack of a sharp object had them thinking 'cover-up'. "I told you we wouldn't luck out with this one."

Before Sara could reply, her cell phone beeped. "It's David."

"I need to grab some more bags from my truck." What he really needed was fresh air. Emerging from the motel room, Greg squinted and retracted from sunlight like a vampire. It was already seven and they had at least two hours ahead of them.

"Sanders!"

When Greg glanced up and saw Nick approaching with two grande Starbucks cups, he burst into a smile. Then he remembered April's note and his irritation returned with a vengeance. "It's gonna take a lot more than a five dollar…"

"Take the damn coffee." Nick thrust the cup forward. "No matter how pissed you are at me, you can't afford to crash your Denali on the way back to the lab."

"If you insist, Assistant Supervisor, Stokes." Greg reluctantly accepted the cup and took a sip. "Triple shot hazelnut latte, huh?" He glared over the top of the cup. "Now I know you did something wrong."

Nick tried to win points with his smile. "No, then I woulda went with the venti and coughed up the extra fifty cents for soy."

"Or maybe you bought this lactose-filled grande so I would think that."

Waving to Sara walking out of the motel room, Nick changed the subject. "Coffee delivery." He held up the cup. "Come and get it."

"Wow. Thanks." Sara wrapped her hand around the cup. "I can't believe a tight-wad like you paid for this overpriced swill." After a lengthy sip, she moaned with pleasure. "Mmm, that's really good swill. Thanks for remembering to get me soy."

"You got her soy?" Greg blurted.

"She doesn't drink cow's milk."

Sara snickered, "And what do cow's drink, Nick?"

The unamused man rolled his eyes. "Sidle, the statute of limitations on that joke was up years ago."

"Really? I didn't get that memo."

Greg shook his head. "Sara, what would your husband think if he found out Nick was flirting with you and springing for soy?"

She laughed, "Hey, what happened to what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?" She held up her cell phone to show Greg a photo. "Dead bloodbath man was trying to hide something too."

Looking at the photo of two razor blades, Greg said, "Where were they?"

"Inside him." Sara shared her theory with her co-workers. "We'll have to wait for tox results, but my guess is he climbed into the tub with that bottle of JD we found and the blades. He drank until he worked up the nerve to go through with it, sliced his wrists in the water, and then used the rest of the booze to swallow the blades."

The guys cringed as they played the scenario in their minds.

"Nasty way to go," Greg commented, thinking of the details.

"Not to mention slow," Nick added.

Greg pointed toward the dark alley across the way. "Guess he didn't know he could buy a gun around the corner. In this economy, he probably could have scored a pistol for less than that bottle of JD."

"Yeah," Sara agreed. "But it's harder to swallow a gun. Maybe he thought he could make it look like homicide if he swallowed the blade. Maybe his insurance doesn't pay out if it's suicide."

"Then why not Thelma and Louise it over a cliff?" Greg countered. "He's a tourist, the mountain roads are tricky. A crash under those circumstances would easily be ruled accidental."

"But you might not die." Nick recalled a case from several years back. "He could wake up in the hospital paralyzed from the neck down. Talk about hell on Earth. No, he wanted a sure thing, that's why he came to a fleabag motel where people don't get involved your business. If you hang a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, housekeeping won't come knocking until check out time, even if blood curdling screams are comin' from the room."

Sara built on that theory. "Maybe he was afraid he'd panic and try to stop the bleeding, so he swallowed the blades to make sure his plan worked no matter what."

"Exactly."

"Unless." Greg was still in the mood to argue with Nick. "Someone, like his trick, made him slit his own wrists and swallow the blades at gunpoint."

"And not take the cash from the wallet?" Sara shook her head. "No way, not in this economy." She started for her truck. "I'll be back in ten."

After his co-worker was gone, Greg turned to Nick and tossed out another theory. "What if cash wasn't the motive?"

"Occam's razor, Greg." Nick agreed with Sara. "Not that I'm not sayin' you shouldn't run with your theory, but not everything has to be complicated, some things are exactly what they seem."

"Like when a woman writes a note saying that she can't wait to spend the night getting closer, it really means that she has a date with you and is looking forward to getting close?"

"G…"

"And when she says not to forget your toothbrush and a change of clothes this time, it means that there was a last time and…."

"Nothing happened."

Greg asked his burning question, "Did you make plans with her for tonight?"

Nick begged his partner with his eyes, "Can we please talk about this at home?"

"I had all day to talk about shit at home, but you never came home."

"Because…"

"Forget it, if the answer was 'no', you would have answered with a very uncomplicated 'no' and if the answer is anything other than 'no', I don't want to hear it." Greg tossed his unfinished coffee in the trash and headed for the motel room. "At least I know to set my alarm this time!"

When her alarm clock sounded, April was thrilled to discover the sun peering through the window blinds. In less than ten hours, the sexy Texan would be sitting on her couch sharing a bottle of merlot. If things went as well as they had the previous day, they'd get further than smiling at each other before the night was over.

After living like a nun for the past six months, she was thrilled at the prospect of sharing her bed with someone again. Since her last boyfriend had turned out to be a cheating skank, she had been holding out for Mr. Right. When Nick Stokes showed up in her office the other day, she instantly knew the tortuous wait had come to an abrupt and unexpected end.

At first she wasn't sure if his do-gooder behavior was just an act, but it became obvious yesterday that Nick was a Ladies Man, but a gentleman with a Texas-sized heart. The entire time he was on her couch talking about Tommy and Jess, she wanted to hug him and when she finally did, it took all her willpower not to kiss him. It was clear that he wasn't the kind of guy to come on strong on the first date and make a girl feel cheap, so tonight she'd have to send out a signal that it was okay for them to move things to the bedroom, not because she was loose, because she knew their relationship was going to be so much more than a one-night stand. After all, he had even mentioned bringing her to dinner with his parents.

Searching her dresser drawers for her most irresistible lace, April knew tonight would be the beginning of the end of her days as a sex-starved single looking for love in all the wrong places.

"Mandy!" Wendy hurried into the Print Lab. "I need to ask you something and if you're not okay with it, I want you to be completely honest and tell me you're not okay with it. Okay?"

"You're bailing on me, aren't you?" Before letting her pal reply, Mandy added, "I'm sure Mr. All Talk and No Action is involved."

"Yes and yes." Wendy's smile lit the room. "He heard back from the toy company about his Lab Rats game and he asked for my input on the improvement suggestions they made. I invited him over and he said yes! He never says yes. Then I remembered that I made plans to go out with you after work."

"Don't worry about me. Go and have fun with Hodges." Mandy cringed, "That sounds so weird when you say it out loud."

"Thanks for understanding." Wendy rushed in for a hug.

"I never said I understood it!" Mandy chuckled, "I don't think I'll ever understand it."

"Me either." Anticipating an interesting night, Wendy dreamily sighed, "True love is complicated."

Sitting on the edge of his living room sofa, Nick clutched his cell phone tighter and suavely replied, "I'm really lookin' forward to tonight too, April." He anxiously glanced at the clock and wondered if Greg was going to come home or choose to spend the night at his studio apartment. "Yeah, I love pasta." The protein fanatic usually avoided carbs like they were poison. "Can I bring somethin'? Sure, I'd love to bring some wine. What kind did you like? Merlot." He clutched his head. "Great." The only thing he hated more than a starchy bowl of pasta was being forced to wash it down with a glass of sweet, fruity wine. "7 o'clock. Mmm. I can't wait." The only thing he couldn't wait for was Greg's arrival. "Really? I had no idea that foot massage was great for reliving tension." He hated people who made you take off your shoes in their house, because he hated looking at people's feet. The only thing he hated more than looking at feet was the idea of someone touching his feet. "Okay, sweetheart, have a good day at work. Bye."

After closing his phone, he tossed it on the coffee table and bolted to the kitchen for another beer. "Thai pasta. Ugh." While his head was in the fridge he heard the interior door from the garage opening and a familiar rattle of keys. "You're home."

"Why do you sound surprised?" Greg set down his kit and tossed his jacket and keys on the kitchen table. "You're the one who doesn't come home as planned, not me."

"Can I talk now? Please?"

Grabbing a beer from the open fridge, Greg smiled, "Yeah." He walked past Nick, "But I'll be in the shower not listening to you."

"G, c'mon!" Nick followed him down the hall. "You know I don't have a choice here!"

Greg stopped in his tracks and whirled around. "Yes, you do."

"I know you think I do, but I don't."

Greg pulled away when Nick tried to touch him. "Save it for your girlfriend."

"She's makin' Thai pasta," the desperate man blurted while running his fingers through his hair. "When I asked her what I can bring, she asked me to pick up…Merlot." He gulped with disgust at the thought of it drinking it with peanut-butter-flavored noodles. "And she promised to give me the best tension-relieving foot massage of my life."

"Seriously?" Greg burst out laughing. "Peanut butter flavored noodles, fruity wine, feet, and a girl. That's pretty much your idea of a date from hell. All that's missing is a yippy poodle and a chick flick marathon."

"Exactly!" Nick plead his case, "If I made a date to eat steak, drink whiskey, and screw the bartender from martini bar at the Tangiers, you'd have every reason to be jealous, but not about this." Placing his hands on his partner's face, he softened his voice, "It means nothin' to me. I purposely picked a nice girl who won't jump me, so I won't have to have sex to keep her interested. We'll date for a week, have dinner with my parents, and as soon as they head back to Dallas, I'll give the usual, 'my job comes first, I'm not ready to have a relationship' speech and she'll dump me."

"And what about me?" Vulnerability creeping into his voice, Greg asked, "What do I mean to you?"

"Everything," Nick breathed out as their lips brushed. "You mean everything to me."

"Prove it," Greg demanded before giving into a passionate kiss. "Not like that," he panted when the button of his jeans popped.

"Tell me what you want," Nick rasped in his lover's ear. "Anything you need, baby."

"Anything? Really?" Egging him on with passionate kisses, he moaned, "Even something new?"

Nick chuckled, "I take it back, there are limits, anything but a foot massage or bondage." The thought of being tied up repulsed the former kidnapping victim as much as having his toes touched.

"I had something a little different in mind." Holding his partner at arms length, Greg stated his demands. "I want you to let me be here when you have dinner with your parents."

"Is that all?" Thinking it was a joke, the son of conservative Texans laughed, "Only if you promise to wear a frilly apron and ask my mom to help us pick out a china pattern."

"I'm serious."

"You're insane, is what you are." Nick backed away until he was standing against the wall. "You know I can't."

"You mean won't." Greg darted for the bedroom.

"I mean I can't." Nick followed shouting, "I can't believe you're sayin' this shit!"

"I can't believe anything you said!" Standing in front of their bed, Greg snapped, "If I really meant anything to you, you wouldn't make me move my stuff into storage and pretend I don't exist every time your family comes to town. It would be impossible to do that if I really meant everything to you."

"You knew that hiding our relationship was part of the deal when you moved in here." His emotions sneaking up on him, Nick shouted, "I also told you the arrangement would never change, so don't stand there and act like I'm the one changin' the rules. If I mean anything to you, then you wouldn't be standing there askin' me to do what you're askin' me to do!"

"You're right, if I really loved you, I'd iron your clothes for tonight and stuff condoms in your pocket!" Resuming his march for the shower, Greg shouted, "I can't believe what a shitty boyfriend I am!" Stepping out of the bathroom, he threw his wallet at Nick's chest. "Please use my credit card to buy the wine!"

"I'm out of here."

"Good!" Greg slammed the door, but immediately opened it. "Wait!"

"Why?! So I can listen to you…" When a toothbrush flew into this chest, Nick's jaw dropped.

"Your girlfriend asked you to bring a toothbrush, remember?!"

When Greg re-slammed the bathroom door, Nick picked up his toothbrush and bolted out of the room.

Thanks for your comments on the last chapter :)

Maggs