Chapter 3
When Abe arrived at the CD shop he was one of the first. His dad wasn't home yet and Abe said a quick hi-and-bye to his mom as the catcher ran upstairs to his room to change and grab his wallet. Minutes after entering the house he was back on his way to the shop.
Tajima was the only person waiting at the store when Abe arrived. The third baseman was dressed surprisingly nice for an occasion like this. It was not that Abe dressed down at all, he simply put on what he normally wore when not in school or at a special occasion. Tajima however was noticeably dressed up wearing an uncharacteristic polo t-shirt and khaki shorts. Granted Abe was not too sure what the third baseman normally wore when he was not in school or practice because the only time Abe ever saw anyone from his team was either during a baseball-related activity or at school or some function thereof where they had to dress appropriately. Tajima's dress simply surprised the catcher.
"Yo," Abe greeted the smaller boy who was staring off into space.
"Hey!" Tajima rather enthusiastically greeted his friend. "You're rather early."
"Look who's talking," Abe retorted. He was glad he could BS with someone. The two continued joking around while waiting for the others. They still had fifteen minutes before the rest of the team was supposed to arrive. "So," Abe continued, "why are you dressed up so pretty?"
"Dressed up pretty?" Tajima asked. Abe had to be joking; there was no way he thought Tajima was…pretty? "Am I not allowed to dress nicely every once in a while?"
That confirmed Abe's suspicion that the normally hyperactive teenager normally was not so preppy. "So, is there someone you are trying to impress?" The catcher asked flatly, hiding his hope that the question would be answered in the guise of a joke.
"Maaaaybe," Tajima replied trying to hide his embarrassment within a joke himself.
Abe saw right through it. A sly smile crossed his face. "So who ya dressed up for huh?"
Tajima's face was the perfect definition of red. "Do I have to be trying to impress someone if I want to look nice? I mean I don't care if it's only going to be the guys and Shinooka, I'm still allowed to look nice."
So that was it. "I didn't know Shinooka was coming," the catcher responded trying to seem nonchalant so that the third baseman would tip more of his hand.
"Yeah," Tajima said, "when I left you and Hanai alone and caught up to the guys they told me they had called her; I mean she is part of the team too."
No help what so ever to Abe. 'Time to fish a little more,' he thought. "So, who do you think Shinooka likes?"
Before Abe had a chance to thoroughly gage Tajima's reaction he heard a voice. "I heard my name did you guys want something?"
"Oh, hey Shinooka-chan, no Tajima just told me that you were coming; I was unaware." Abe said.
The team's manager looked at the reinstated catcher and smiled. "Of course I'd come. I was worried about both you and Mihashi-kun after what happened today; you especially Abe-kun. I'm glad to see that things worked out for everyone. Abe-kun you've gotta tell me what happened."
Abe grinned at her and recapped what had happened at Mihashi's house, causing Shinooka to giggle at times and blush at others. From What Abe could tell looking back on it the whole incident did seem like it would make a pretty riveting story. "But we're all good now," he concluded.
"You left out the part about the ogre and dragon," a voice said from behind Abe. Sakaeguchi and most of the rest of the team were gathered and waiting.
"Yeah," laughed Nishihiro, "And the princess kissing the frog."
"What?" Asked Abe. He could handle the rest of their joking, but what was Nishihiro talking about? The rest of the group seemed to agree with Abe's line of thought because the amount of laughing died down considerably. "Nishihiro, man, what are you talking about?"
"I, um, well," he muttered, "never mind, you guys never read a western fairytale?"
"No," the rest of the team said in unison.
Nishihiro felt like a smartass.
Hanai was the last to arrive at the CD store. "Alright," he gathered everyone's attention, "where are we eating?"
Almost everyone in the group started shouting out what seemed to be random food. Abe stood next to Tajima who instead of shouting for his favorite was yelling "hotdogs, pizza, hamburgers," and a variety of other foods.
Hanai looked visibly upset. "Fine!" He yelled. The others quieted except for Tajima who was still shouting foods. Hanai gave the smallest boy a death stare and soon after the third baseman shut up. "Fine," the captain said in a much gentler voice, "Shinooka, why don't you decide for us?"
All heads turned to the female manager. Abe laughed to himself as she turned a few shades of red from all of the male attention. "Um…I don't know…" Shinooka trailed off trying to stall for time.
Tajima was still yelling out suggestions but by this point he had run out of food that would likely be found at a restaurant and had switched to naming off random food. Abe would not have minded if the third baseman was not right next to him yelling practically in Abe's ear. Upon a particularly loud "stuffed eggplant!" request the catcher put the third baseman into a head lock.
"I don't think your name's Shinooka-chan," the larger boy growled jokingly. "Let her decide herself."
When the group turned their attention back to the manager from the little scene Abe had caused the manager resumed her strawberry impersonation. "Um…how about…." She trailed off again. Finally after a long pause threw out "ramen?"
Hanai looked at his teammates. He was glad he was taller than all of them; it made his job as captain easier because he could shepherd the group easier if they could all see him and he could see all of them. "Thank you, Shinooka-chan," the captain said. "Ramen it is."
"No you don't have to…because I said it…" the surprisingly shy manager trailed off.
"Nope. That's what you've chosen so that's where we're going." Hanai retorted. He turned his attention to the group at large and asked, "So, does anyone know of a good ramen shop close by? There's always Special Kei's but that's a ways downtown; I really don't want to have to go there unless we have to."
Shinooka was about to speak up but Hanai, who had read her expression, cut her off. "Sorry Shinooka, we're eating ramen; it's decided."
Mihashi was fidgeting back and forth again. Abe remembered this awkward reaction of Mihashi's whenever he had something he wanted to say but did not know if he should or not. "Um…there's always…Furikawa…." The blond boy trailed off as he bowed his head. Suddenly in a classic Mihashi-esc move the blond shot his head up, his eyes large and sparkling he continued "it's right down the street!"
Abe snorted back his laughter. It completely figured that Mihashi would suggest they go there; that was where Abe had taken Mihashi only the night before. Oki and Tajima looked wearily at their catcher. Abe saw this gave the pair a reassuring smile. "No, it's nothing," he said and continued to laugh silently.
Hanai, who had apparently never heard of the ramen shop, looked confused. So did most of the team. "Alright Mihashi, since you suggested it you lead the way."
"Um, I, um…" the pitcher stuttered before finally spitting out "…Abe-kun…"
Sakaeguchi, the only member of the team other than the pitcher who was fluent in Mihashi, translated. "I think he wants Abe to lead the way instead."
Mihashi shook his head with what looked like borderline violent force.
"I'm surprised none of you know where this place is," the second tallest boy said as he walked to the front of the pack. Upon reaching the lead spot he suddenly turned on his heels and in the stupidest voice he could imagine said "it's magical" as he mimed a circle with his hands.
The pack broke out laughing at the completely non-Abe action.
Furikawa's was but a few minute's walk down the street. About half way to the restaurant Tajima, who must eat his bodyweight in food every day yet never gain any weight, started complaining. "How much further," he groaned. "I'm hungry. Are we there yet?"
Hanai, who had been talking to Abe about an assignment they both had due at school in a few days, suddenly stopped the conversation. "Quiet down back there," he commanded.
"But I'm hungry," Tajima whined.
"Don't make me turn this thing around," Hanai yelled back. The group laughed.
'Damn,' Abe thought, 'it's great to have friends.'
Abe was the first one into Furikawa's. The elder woman behind the counter smiled at her favorite customer. "Back again are we?" She said. "Did you and your friend work everything out?"
Abe grinned at the woman. "Yeah, everything's fine now, thank you," he said. "And actually, I hope you can help me out. I have a ten man baseball team plus a manager outside and we just dying for some world class ramen. Can you help?"
It was the woman's turn to grin. "Send them in; I'll see what I can do."
The two shared one last grin before Abe left to usher everyone inside the restaurant. "Tell the nice lady what you want and take a seat," the black haired teen commanded. "And be sure to say your please and thank you's."
"Yes!" The group answered in unison, and then they all started laughing. This was the best way for the team to bond.
The catcher smiled at sound of slurping. This place was a huge success and it made Abe happy. The woman behind the counter even gave 'her favorite baseball team' a special discount for this evening's meal. Abe had his usual tip ready and he spread the world for the others to leave something nice for the woman.
As nice as everything was Abe felt a few things were a little off. He was no expert on flirting, but just looking around he noticed a few things. First off, he felt it was a little odd that Shinooka was not only sitting next to him but insisted on keeping a conversation with him. The catcher was a little perplexed by this. From what he knew about flirting, which was not much at all, Abe recognized this to be at least some form of infatuation; but what surprised him the most was that she was doing it when he clearly remembered overhearing a conversation Shinooka had with one of her friends during lunch when she specifically said "no no no I'm not interested in any of them." So if she was not interested in any of the Nishiura baseball players then why was she so adamant about keeping Abe's attention?
The next thing Abe noticed was how Tajima, who was sitting next to Shinooka, kept trying to be a part of Abe and Shinooka's conversation. It amused the catcher to see Tajima, the forever five year old, try to vie for attention from the manager and catcher. It reminded Abe of a two adults having a conversation while a child kept trying to get attention.
Slowly Abe started to process the information he had gathered during the day. Tajima was dressed up. Tajima walked in the back of the group with the lone female. Tajima was more talkative than normal. Tajima joked more than normal, if it were possible. Now Tajima was trying to join the manager in a conversation; anything to get her attention. Tajima liked Shinooka. Abe smiled.
Abe also had his eye on Mihashi. The pitcher sat in the other booth with Oki, Izumi, Suyama, and Nishihiro. What struck the catcher as weird was that the pitcher kept looking over at Abe. Abe tried telling himself that it was just normal Mihashi jitters but Abe could not convince himself. There was something different about the pitcher.
Hanai had to time this right. He waited for Shinooka to pause to take another bite of her ramen before he made his move. When he was sure that the female manager had her mouth full of food and therefore was cut off from talking he tapped Sakaeguchi on the shoulder to get his attention and then leant over to the catcher and asked "Abe, Sakaeguchi, I need your help. Abe, I don't want to reopen old wounds but I've been thinking about it all day and I can't think of someone else to take over as vice captain."
Abe got it right away. He was not bitter at all about the decision Hanai had made to remove him from Assistant captain. If it were up to Abe he would not let someone who did that to the team back on like that; maybe after a few weeks or a month if they proved that everything was going to be fine. By the way Hanai was talking Abe assumed that this was still a relative secret and wanted everyone to be surprised by his choice. "Well are you sure you need another vice captain?" Abe asked in a hushed voice quiet enough so that nobody else could hear but yet not blatantly whispering and drawing attention to their conversation.
"I don't know if I need one, but having that option is always good. Besides, I need someone to back me up when there's a situation Sakaeguchi or myself can't deal with."
Abe saw his point. Hanai was a good person and a smart person, but the largest boy had a temper shorter than everyone else on the team. Along with that Sakaeguchi got explosive diarrhea when stressed. "I see your point. Who were you thinking about? What kind of characteristics are you looking for?"
"Well, I need someone who the team can talk to when they can't talk to me or to Momoe; someone who can relate to everyone on the team. But I also want someone who can lead a practice if needed and who works hard and sets a good example for everyone," the catcher listed off the traits as Abe wondered if he had any of those. From what he could think of the only thing that fit him was the leadership part but if he were honest with himself the reason why he pushed himself and everyone else was so that Mihashi could see how great of a pitcher he really was.
"So who do you have in mind?" Abe asked.
Sakaeguchi and Hanai looked the catcher and smirked. "I've got nobody, what about you Sakaeguchi?" The second baseman shrugged his shoulders. "Sure everyone relates well and works hard but I need someone with good senses, both on the field and off the field. Someone who could lead another study session if needed or help another player work on their skills," the current captain concluded.
Abe thought out loud. "If you want someone with great study skills then Nishihiro's your man; but I'm not sure how the others see him in terms of baseball. Nobody thinks of him any different because he's not on the field during games, but that could be a potential problem as well and I wouldn't want that brought up at all." The catcher continued to think. He surveyed the other members of the team. Most of the others fell into either one of the two other categories. There were some like Tajima and Mihashi who were good at baseball and then others like Nishihiro who were gifted in school. What he needed was someone like…
Abe looked at Hanai and smiled. "I've got your man. Think about it, who here is good in school in pretty much every subject; not the best but one of them? And who else on the team is calm and level headed enough to think rationally and not act on impulse?"
"Suyama." Hanai sounded as if it were the best idea anyone had ever had in the history of ideas.
Hearing his name Suyama stopped his conversation with Nishihiro and looked over. "Did you want me, Hanai?"
"Actually," Hanai responded while standing to his feet. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled "hey!" in a deep voice. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked over at the source of the loud noise. Even the owner who was chatting with Izumi looked up. "Alright," Hanai continued. "Now that I've got your attention I have an announcement. Due to some…unfortunate circumstances Nishiura needs a new vice captain."
The crowd murmured amongst themselves and then all heads turned to Abe. The catcher and former vice captain smiled to his teammates and showed that it didn't bother him.
"Anyway," Hanai continued, gathering all attention on himself again. "The vice captain needs to be someone who everyone can talk to, who can help everyone not only on the field but also in schoolwork in case we need another…study session," as he said that last few words the captain shot a frightful stare at Tajima and then at Mihashi. "This person needs to be level headed and calm so that when I lose my cool he can still keep things under control. I feel that the best person that fits those requirements is," Hanai smiled. He liked holding his team in suspense. After a second's pause the right fielder lifted his hand and pointed to the dark haired boy next to Nishihiro. "Shoji Suyama."
Suyama dropped his chopsticks, everyone else cheered.
"Abe suggested you as a replacement and Sakaeguchi and I both agree. You fit the bill perfectly. Do you accept?"
Suyama looked around. Everyone was smiling at him, including Abe. The praise the captain had laid on Suyama made him start to blush. He felt like Shinooka. "I guess I have no choice," the teen said with a smile.
Everyone in the room cheered for the new vice captain. Tajima and Mihashi celebrated by ordering another bowl of ramen.
Hanai got up and motioned for Sakaeguchi and Suyama to follow him. The trio walked over to an empty booth on the other side of the room Abe guessed so they could talk without having to yell.
Abe was free to talk and Shinooka took the opportunity. "So Abe, you really don't mind?" The manager asked with as little tact as Tajima.
Abe smiled to himself. The two would make a good couple. "I'm just glad to be back on the team," the catcher replied. "If Hanai was me I would be a lot stricter about it even if I let the guy back on the team. I'm lucky Hanai is so soft."
Abe's comment about Hanai being soft made Tajima chuckle. "I wish he was soft. I can only imagine what we're gonna have to do now that the season is over." The smaller player gave an exaggerated shudder. "I can imagine Momoe driving us into the ground during drills but if Hanai is even worse with conditioning I don't know what I'd do."
This made Abe wonder, what kind of practices would they have in the winter? Outside practices were out of the question and space was limited indoors. Since the baseball club was brand new they were lowest on the list for practice time in either of the two gyms and even then there was only so much they could do inside; hitting drills were out of the question due to the lack of a batting cage and they needed a lot of room in the gyms to simulate even the infield. "She'll probably send us to the weight room after school," the catcher finally said after thinking it over. "It would make sense; we're all small first years, even Hanai who is the biggest out of all of us still looks like a first year. Plus it has the best shot of being open because most of the other clubs will be in the main gym and the auxiliary gym."
The others nodded in agreement. It was true; everyone on the team was small. Only Hanai or possibly Abe had the power to hit the long ball, but if someone like Tajima were to bulk up then with his prolific skills and hitting ability he could truly be a weapon. Unfortunately the boy was not only skinny but small in general. This meant that for him bulking up would be more difficult than a taller person like Abe or Hanai.
The evening dragged on while nobody noticed. The team was laughing and joking with each other. Abe took part but started to think. It occurred to him that everyone on the team was friends with each other; and not the 'we're on the same team so let's get along' kind of friends that developed on most teams but actual friends who shared the same interests and activities. The catcher looked around at the group. There were the bookworms Nishihiro and Suyama; the personalities Tajima and Izumi; the emotionally competent Sakaeguchi, Mizutani, and Oki; the leader Hanai; and the key to the group, the inspirational one Mihashi. All that was left was Abe. He looked over the group dynamics and could not find his place within the group. He was not the smartest person on the team, one of the more analytical yes but as far as brains went Abe was a little above average. He was not one of the personalities of the group either; Abe tended to keep most of his thoughts to himself and generally was not a very social guy. Even the emotionally competent group did not fit the catcher as he tended to bottle everything up and was even the cause of the recent turmoil. Abe might have identified as one of the leaders but after the stunt he pulled this past weekend that was out of the question. Lastly, the catcher was hardly inspirational like the blond pitcher. It occurred to Abe that he really did not fit into a group category.
But whether he fit or not Abe paid little attention to. The catcher was a fundamental part of the group now and always will be. 'Momoe sure knows how to put together a group,' he thought to himself.
As great as the evening was going everyone had class tomorrow. The only reason they were out instead of or doing homework was because Momoe had given them the week off of practice. The team had been at the ramen shop for the better part of two and a half hours talking and hanging out. But now it was time for the shop to close which meant that everyone had to leave. Once outside the shop the group decided to call it a night. Homework and preparations for school the next day had to be made and after such an intensive baseball tournament the team decided that it would be best to just get some relaxation in.
Abe followed his half of the group towards the CD store. The catcher felt a little guilty that he did not talk to Mihashi much after what had happened before but there was always time for that at school tomorrow. The catcher had to make sure everything was well with his pitcher so the pair could improve the battery.
The tall boy's head was filled with thoughts of his pitcher but that did not stop him from noticing the awkwardness of the atmosphere surrounding the trio of himself, Tajima, and Shinooka as they walked home.
The trio passed a small park when Abe had a moment of Zen. If he remembered correctly Shinooka took the train to and from school because she lived pretty far away. So why she was here walking with the two boys when there was a closer platform back the other way started to confuse the catcher. 'Maybe they want some time alone?' The dark haired boy thought to himself.
"Well I'll see both of you tomorrow at school," Abe said as he bid the two farewell.
Shinooka looked at him. "You're not going to walk with us?" She asked in a hurt tone.
Abe was taken aback. "Oh, well," he stuttered. "I just thought you two would like some time alone, that's all."
"What are you talking about?" Tajima jumped in.
Abe stopped at looked at the two of them. Now he really was confused. "Well I was just thinking about everything that happened today and figured you two would like some private time together," the catcher said flatly.
Tajima and Shinooka looked at each other. Abe was scared when two smiles crept over their faces at the same time. "What ever gave you that idea?" Tajima asked.
"Well just by looking at you," Abe replied. "It was obvious even to me."
"You mean it was that obvious?" Shinooka asked.
"Well yeah," Abe replied again. "Tajima being dressed up, you two talking to yourselves at the back of the group, the way you were acting back at Furikawa's, it all makes sense to me now."
"Wait what?" Tajima retorted, apparently very surprised.
"Sorry," the catcher said, "I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret. But don't worry; I don't think anyone else knows."
Tajima looked at his teammate, surprise carved into the smaller boy's face. "You mean you think that us," he pointed to the female manager and himself, "are a couple?"
"Yeah, now that I think about it it makes perfect sense."
"But we're not going out!" Shinooka protested.
"What?" Abe was really confused now.
"Yeah, what ever gave you that idea?" She replied.
"But, Tajima," the catcher sounded desperate though he did not know why. "Why are you dressed up? Who were you trying to impress?"
"I, um, well," the third baseman who normally never shied away from saying anything, was trying to approach the situation with some tact and grace.
Abe didn't notice.
The smaller boy looked over to the female manager for some guidance. The manager gave the third baseman as reassuring smile and nodded her head.
Tajima turned his focus back toward his teammate. "Well, I, um, how do I put it…" Despite seeing the signs from Shinooka he was still having a hard time with this. She just couldn't understand how he felt. This could surely ruin him. "Actually, Abe, I was trying to impress you."
Abe looked dumbstruck. "Wha?" Was all he could manage.
"You see, Abe," Tajima continued. Shame flowed from all corners of his body as he finished his statement. "I kinda sorta have a bit of a crush on you."
Abe tried to think about what he had just heard. Failure. He tried again. Failure. Twice failed he switched his brain off of voice mode and went by instinct. "I see," his voice sounded disappointed and dejected. 'Great you just screwed this up, you know that right?' Abe's brain yelled in head.
Tajima bowed his head. He knew he had just taken a fairly large gamble and failed. 'Looks like things are going to become difficult,' the third baseman thought. He knew Abe had not accepted him, and to be honest did not really know why he thought the larger boy would. "I, um," he said. 'Better save what little I have and walk away. I'll deal with this in private,' he thought. The normally energetic teen lifted his head back up and tried to put on a façade of his normal self. "I should be going. Glad to see you back on the team."
3…2…1…Instincts failed; time for the brain's second chance. Abe felt a rush of activity in his brain. It took him a second to accept and evaluate everything that was going on around him. Tajima just confessed and was now walking away dejected. Shinooka looked as if Abe had just rejected her personally as well. 'Good going feelings,' Abe's brain said to himself. 'Look what I have to deal with.'
Abe had to think of something. "Tajima wait," he gasped at the realization that the third baseman was anything but himself.
"No it's alright Abe, I understand," Tajima said trying to hide his feelings. He kept walking.
"No Tajima wait, I want to talk to you about this."
Tajima blew him off. His reaction proved that he had just lost all respect for his teammate and the smaller teen knew that while Abe would not act differently, at least not in front of others, the catcher definitely did not like Tajima for what he had just done. 'I'll save you the breath,' Tajima thought. 'I already understand.'
Abe got frustrated when the smaller teen kept walking. Did he not understand that Abe wanted to talk to him? The catcher looked at his teammate as he walked by. Abe knew that he had to get Tajima to stop and listen to what Abe had to say but by the way Tajima was reacting to Abe's inaction Abe knew what Tajima was thinking, thinking that Abe hated the third baseman. That couldn't be farther from the truth; not after what Tajima did not only for the team but for Mihashi and for Abe himself. Abe owed Tajima more than anything he could pay back.
And besides, Abe had nothing against anyone who was gay. He had never met someone who was out before; there were a few people at Nishiura that Abe thought had to be gay but he was not sure. He was not one to judge; Abe accepted the fact that a person was not always in control of who they had feelings for. Now he just had to convince Tajima the he was not mad but instead flattered.
But the smaller boy was doing a fine job of pissing Abe off. The third baseman had done an admirable job at trying to save face, despite the fact that Abe saw right through the attempt, and walked away with his head high. But now the smaller teen was dragging his head and creating such a sad scene that made Abe feel so evil. Granted the catcher felt like that anyway but he did not need the reminder from his teammate. "Tajima, get back here," Abe called one last time.
Ignored.
'That's it,' Abe thought to himself. The catcher turned and stormed over to his friend. Tajima would not acknowledge his teammate so instead of trying to reason with the smaller teen Abe bent over and picked Tajima up over his shoulder.
Shinooka gasped at Abe and Tajima protested any way he could. "Abe what are you doing put me down!" The smaller teen yelled.
Abe ignored the two and instead walked Tajima over to a nearby bench and set him down. The moment Tajima's feet touched the ground he attempted to get up but Abe put a hand to his chest to keep him down. "Sit," Abe commanded. "Shinooka-chan, you too."
Tajima sat and did not move. Shinooka tentatively made her way over to the bench and took a seat next to the third baseman.
Abe squatted down in front of them. He felt it would be best not to talk down to them but instead to get down to their level and explain things to the two. "First of all, Tajima, I really am flattered that you have a crush on me, I really am." Abe made sure to look directly into Tajima's small black eyes as he spoke. He knew it was of absolute importance that he showed sincerity not only in his voice but in his body language as well. "I'm flattered," he continued, "but I don't feel the same. It's not that I disapprove, on the contrary I support you one hundred percent; but I just don't feel the same about you. Do you understand?"
Tajima still had an unfaltering sad expression on his face but Abe saw the twinkle of life back in the eyes of his friend. The two sat in silence for a few seconds before Tajima spoke. "I, I guess so."
Abe was not convinced. "Tajima, I mean exactly as I say. Things are probably going to feel awkward for a little while but please believe me when I say that you are and always will be my friend. Nothing is any different than what it was."
The third baseman looked over at the manager who had been quiet the whole time. She smiled at the smaller boy causing Tajima to smile as well.
"So wait, Shinooka-chan, how long did you know about this?" Abe asked.
The manager was startled to hear her name. She had hoped to stay out of everything despite her role in encouraging Tajima to tell Abe how he felt. "I been thinking it for about two weeks now but I didn't know until Tajima-kun confirmed it on Saturday," she said. "I went to see Mihashi-kun and Tajima-kun came out looking very depressed as I was going in. Mihashi-kun was talking to Hanai-kun, Sakaeguchi-kun, and Izumi-kun so I decided to talk to him and see what was wrong." Shinooka blushed as she recalled more of the story. "Tajima-kun said he was having some problems and when I guessed right he was upset and I promised him that I would keep it a secret. Since then I've been encouraging Tajima-kun to tell you how he feels about you Abe-kun."
The catcher sat for a moment, the events of the night unfolding again in his head. Tajima dress up. Tajima becoming embarrassed when Abe pointed it out. Tajima and Shinooka at the back of the group talking to themselves. Tajima and Shinooka sitting next to each other as well as Abe during dinner. Tajima trying to have a conversation with Abe. Shinooka following Abe and Tajima home. Bingo.
Abe, still squatting down in front of his friends, smiled; things made sense now. "I see," he said. "I've been wondering why you two were acting weird tonight. It was nothing obvious but more just a feeling I had," he added after seeing the new look of worry on Tajima's face. "I wouldn't worry, Tajima. I think that with this group of guys and what you've done this year if you do decide to come out and tell them they would all accept you as if nothing was different. Momoe sure knows how to put a team together."
Tajima looked relieved. "It was hard enough to tell you," he said. "Shinooka-chan kept pestering me about it since Saturday."
The manager looked at the third baseman. He was bantering now so he must be back into his comfort zone. "Well I had to get you to tell him. See how much better you feel?"
"Yeah," Tajima replied without missing a beat. "A perfect confession of love with no mishaps."
Abe laughed and sat on the bench on the other side of Tajima while Shinooka shot the two boys a dirty look.
The trio sat and talked about their love-lives. It turned out that none of the three had ever been in any type of meaningful relationship, which was not too surprising seeing as they all were only in their first year of high school. Abe could not resist himself and directly asked Shinooka if she had a crush on anyone on the team. The manager blushed deeper than usual, which surprised both Abe and Tajima who had thought the feat was not humanly possible, and said that she would neither confirm nor deny anything. Abe processed the piece of information and knew there was probably someone on the team who she did like. Unfortunately for Abe no matter how hard he tried the manager would not elaborate.
Shinooka turned the question back on Abe. "Is there anyone at school that you have a crush on, Abe-kun?" She asked.
Abe smiled at her. After seeing the whole display she put on he felt like the two deserved to know 'deep dark secret no. 5' from the chest of Abe. "I don't know," the catcher replied truthfully, "I mean there are a few people I'm attracted to at school but I wouldn't go out with any of them."
Tajima and Shinooka looked at the dark haired teen quizzically. "Why is that, Abe-kun?" Shinooka asked.
"Well I just don't think I'm boyfriend material," the catcher said truthfully.
"What?" Tajima exclaimed.
Abe grinned, it felt a little funny hearing that from Tajima while knowing his secret. "I just feel like I wouldn't make a good boyfriend."
"Why is that Abe-kun?" Shinooka questioned.
"For starters I carry a lot of emotional baggage," the catcher answered, which was true. Memories from junior high and most recently the 'game of doom' as Abe dubbed the last game of their season haunted Abe's dreams. He slept better than Mihashi did due in part because his junior high days were not as traumatic but Abe still tossed a lot while he slept.
Tajima was surprised. "Really? You? I never would have guessed that you would be so sensitive Abe."
The catcher grinned again at his teammate. "I wouldn't call it sensitive; more like severe pessimism."
"So you don't think one of them could be the one you love; the one you're destined for?" Shinooka asked hesitantly.
Both Tajima and Shinooka locked their eyes on Abe. Abe felt them bore into his soul. It was creeping him out. 'Better go with the truth; who knows what those eyes have seen,' he thought. "Well, um, actually," Abe's voice faltered. Apparently what his mind wanted and his body wanted were too different things. Abe's mind was on a role since the smooth recovery of the Tajima situation so it got precedence. "To be completely honest I don't really," Abe took a deep breath, "believeinlove," he said quickly.
Not quickly enough. Both Tajima and Shinooka understood what Abe said and both looked equally surprised.
"What?" Tajima asked dumbfounded.
"Really?" Shinooka asked, her voice getting higher as she finished each syllable.
Abe did not want to have to explain if he did not have too. He bowed his head in hopes that everything would fly over and they would understand and all would be well.
Fail.
"But you're parents surely love you; or is it just romantic love? Is there different types of love? What about friendship? Are we your friends?" Tajima started firing questions at over six hundred rounds a minute.
A hand silenced the chattering mouth.
'Maybe they weren't ready for this,' Abe thought to himself and took a deep breath to calm himself as well. "I don't feel like there is a concept of love," he started. "I believe that what everyone believes is 'love' is simply a mixture of trust, hope, and attraction. In that sense I don't believe in that 'smitten with love' attitude; instead those people are just having delusions. Trust can be misplaced, attraction can be fatal, hope is only for the hopeful," Abe concluded. He felt a pang of guilt when the smiles left Tajima's and Shinooka's faces.
"But what your parents," Tajima interjected into the pity party. "They love you; don't you love them?"
"Well," Abe started. "They trust and respect me and I honor and respect them," Abe waited to see if either of the two picked up on the lack of the word 'trust'. Neither had. "But my parents and I are different people. I feel like the only thing I have in common with my father is baseball. He wants me to spend every waking moment outside of school focused on baseball; he wants my whole life to be baseball."
"Do you not like baseball, Abe-kun?" Shinooka asked.
"It's not that I don't like it; I just want to have fun while playing it. Even if this Nishiura team was a complete failure and we lost every game we ever played, as long as I had fun playing I would enjoy the sport. On the other hand, if I hated the conditions and the team I was on then I would hate the sport and not want to play."
Tajima picked up on the deflation in Abe's voice; there was a story that the catcher was not sharing. Without even thinking of another plausible answer Tajima said "is that why you hated the seniors?"
Abe looked up, surprised at Tajima's spot on guess. The catcher smiled at the tactless way his teammate phrased his words. "Yeah. The situation with my pitcher during the seniors, as well as Haruna, made things difficult. You remember Haruna, the pitcher who threw in the second half of the semifinal game we went and watched before the season?"
Tajima nodded his head. Haruna threw some of the fastest balls he had ever seen come from a high school pitcher.
"And as for friendship," Abe continued, "making friends has never been my strongpoint. I use to not believe in that either but since this morning I've been rethinking my logic. I think there is something to this whole 'friendship' thing." Abe had to finish on a strong point. He really did not want to delve into the issue too far; not tonight, not while he was this tired.
The other two took the hint.
"Well I gotta get going," Abe said after a few seconds of an awkward pause. The catcher bid the manager farewell and ruffled the third baseman's hair, trying to make one last attempt at reassurance for the smaller teen. Tajima grinned back up at him.
When Abe got home his mom called him from the kitchen. "Where have you been?" She asked in a pleasant tone.
"Out with the team," was all Abe said as he went upstairs and got ready for bed.