A/N:-YESHES!! 'Tis now workings!!!! I know 'tis been aaaaaages and aaaaaages and moo-moos since I last updated this! Am vair vair sozzy, browser was being a vair naughty&stubborn little boy and I managed to coax my Vati to borrow his Windows disc!!!! I ended up installing a new Windows (If only I'd done that earlier) and… HEY PRESTO!
Many thanksies for your cheesetastic reviews!!!
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As soon as the bright light that represented another mental psyche had entered my mind, I was thrown backwards.
I was sent hurtling down a tunnel of darkness - zipping deeper and deeper into my own head, further and further way from reality - dissolving into a pit of nothingness. A place where nobody, and nothing, could find or touch me; a place where I was completely separated from what was going on beyond my own head; a place where it was claimed safe; a place where I was; a place where I was away from everything... and everyone.
Her name was the Bad Wolf - the creature inside me, possessing me, protecting me, hiding me. I didn't know who or what she was, but there was one thing I did know: she was the one who'd wiped my mind.
She'd let me know that much. Now, I knew, she was the source of my knowledge. The reason why I could think and speak and know things, when I really, really shouldn't. I didn't know why she wiped my mind, because she didn't tell me, didn't want me to know. It was a memory that I couldn't have.
Neither did I know why I was in hiding, why the Bad Wolf had taken over my body, and tucked me away in the deepest darkest corner of… a consciousness. Somewhere where even I had no idea of, and this was my own mind... Wasn't it?!
Sighing, I sat on the "floor". It was comfortable, white and soft - it felt like I was sitting on... clouds. It was indescribable really. I looked around the place I was in. To be honest, I didn't really know how to describe it.
The small area I was encased in was a blinding, bleach white, which steadily pulsated and throbbed with a glowing light. Thin golden strands of energy floated serenely around the room, whispering and calling out to me, but I stayed firm and resisted the temptations. For now. The whole area itself was encased in an invisible bubble, that rippled like a pebble in water, every time I stretched out a hand and touched it.
Strangely, I wasn't clothed in my standard, blue and white, hospital scrubs, simply dressed in blue denim jeans, scuffed white trainers and a maroon t-shirt, concealed by what was called a grey 'hoodie' – so my mind told me. I frowned: my hair. It wasn't long, brunette and tinged blonde at the tips – like it had been when I'd first woken up. Instead, my hair was a blaring, peroxide blonde and reached right down to my shoulder blades.
Tilting my head to one side, I found myself licking my lips in curiosity. It was sort of... sticky. I smeared a finger across my lips and pulled it away to reveal a thick, sticky, red substance. But it wasn't blood – oh, no. It was – a word blasted into my head – make-up. It was the same with the rest of my face. There was a black substance covering my eyelashes, so my eyelids were heavy and thick whenever I snapped them open and shut. My eyes also seemed to be outlined with something; vision blurring as I accidentally smudged the thick, powder-like substance and it entered my eyes. I blinked away the tears and explored the rest of my face. My cheeks were covered in a pale primrose coloured powder. Also, large, gold hoops dangled from tiny, allocated holes in my earlobes.
OK, this was weird.
"I'll ask you again," a determined, masculine voice suddenly exclaimed. His voice boomed loud and clear across the room, so full of fire and ice and rage. It reminded me a lot of Big Hair – I still hadn't discovered his real name! My ears pricked up and I jumped up, heart leaping at the sudden sound filling my eardrums. "Tell me, what've you done with Rose?! Show her to me!"
There was that name again. Rose. That was the name they kept calling me; the name they insisted that was mine. I didn't even know my own name, myself, so if "Rose" was and is my name... Could it be, that this strange, yet painfully familiar man was, in actual fact, talking about me?
The wisps of bright yellow light whispered out to me, gliding closer to me; the slender, glowing tendrils drifted together to form the wispy shape of an arm, gold fingers flexing and reaching out to me. The act itself was almost angelic. My back leaned up against the transparent bubble, I hesitantly outstretched an arm towards the summoning arm – thinking it safe.
A gentle albeit small swarm of deep gold light surrounded my head. I spread my hand out flat, underneath it, and closed a loose fist over the energy. It felt warm and peacefully tingly against my own pale skin. There was a tranquil throbbing sensation in the back of my head; the light engulfed me.
I was jogging after someone downstairs. A someone in a black leather jacket, with big, sticky-out ears, piercing blue eyes and this daft old face.
"Hold on a minute! You can't just go swannin' off!" I protested, a long blonde wave of hair swishing behind me, as I followed him down the steps.
"Yes I can. Look. Here I am, swanning off. See ya!" he replied cheerily, waving me off with the plastic arm in his arm.
%%%%%
I was walking along this field of tall grass, behind this carriage and horse, accompanied by these guards in formal uniforms.
"I want to 'ear her say 'I am not amused'," I said to the man next to me, grinning and putting on a posh, high-class accent for the latter part. I paused. "Bet you five quid I can get 'er to say it."
"Taking that bet would be an abuse of my time travelling privileges," he answered resolutely. He was tall and skinny, with the messiest, wildest hair known to mankind, clad in brown pinstripes, a long trench coat and scuffed Converses.
"Ten quid?" I tried.
"Done."
%%%%%%
This time I was dressed in a dark purple, leather jacket and trousers. I was flicking buttons on a panel.
"I've been to too many Universes," I explained. "The wrong word in the wrong Universe can cause an entire causal nexus."
"She talks like that," a dark skinned woman, in an bottle green uniform said to the redhead next to her. "A lot."
%%%%%
It wouldn't stop. The blood continued dripping, in large, generous quantities, from my nose. Cupping my nose and wading through the small piles of red, damp, blemished toilet paper, that littered the floor, I stumbled towards another cubicle to grab some more clean loo roll. I practically screamed, as my fingers connected with hard plastic. None left.
The blood overflowed in my hands, oozing out down the sides of my hands and staining the shiny, white tiles with its profuse, sticky redness. I felt the heavily metallic taste of fresh, hot blood trickle through the small gap between my lips, stain my teeth, invade my mouth and gush down my raw, burning throat.
Grabbing hold of the smooth, black marble with one already blood-slick hand, I staggered into an upright position and looked at my bloodied self in the mirror. My vision blurred, as the tears took over me.
"What the hell…" I mumbled, disbelievingly, with a sharp intake of breath.
Automatically, my snapped my eyes open and I gasped. A small, barely noticeable niggling pained the back of my head, but I ignored it. Instead, my attention was fixated upon my closed fist; the light fluently was seeping out from the small fissures and crevices between my closed fingers. It floated back into the air, towards the ever beckoning, light-created arm, made of light – making it appear fuller. My legs were already shuffling towards it.
I was treading on dangerous ground, and I knew it. However, it was just so tempting and difficult to resist. It was too hard. It wouldn't hurt and I had to. I just had to.
I wanted to know more. Know who was the man with daft face, the piercing blue eyes and the big ears was; know truly who the tall, skinny man with the scruffy brown hair was; know why I knew them both; know why I was speaking to a redhead and female soldier; know why I was kitted out in purple leather; know why my former bleeding nose wouldn't stop; know why the walls and cubicle doors were all drenched with fresh blood, in that very ladies bathroom; know who was and is Rose Marion Tyler; know who I was, who I am and who I'm going to be. And the only way I was going to know any of those things, was if I touched the light. I just knew it.
If I just walked over, reached an arm out and--
The rumbling laugh of the Bad Wolf made itself prominent, rippling through the air, the laugh: mocking, contemptuous, flippant. Her deep, loud laugh shocked me back into reality. Whatever was left of it, anyway.
"Oh, and why should I?"
Breathing heavily, I clenched my eyes tight and backed away from the light. I was sure I would've actually walked over and reached out to the eerily graceful, golden arm of energy, if it weren't for that little interruption of the Bad Wolf.
"The time is not right. The time will only ever be right, when this universe chooses to accept her," the Bad Wolf replied, succinctly. "And, that time will be never."
"Oh, the time's always bin right! You've just been refusing to accept the fact that you're gonna have to let go, one of these days! Ah, silly old me, that's where I'm wrong. You can't accept it! All this power, all this 'protecting, it's got to your head! I'm right, aren't I?" there was a pause, and a genuine guffaw overwhelmed the air. "Of course I am, I'm always right! I'm brilliant! When have I ever been wrong?! Actually, no, don't answer that. Really, don't."
"No, you are not. You do not understand. I have been chosen, ever since I claimed the Child of the Wolf to be my host that day on the Gamestation when she looked into the Vortex, to protect her. It is my duty. I only do what is... necessary."
"What's goin' on?" I yelled out, tentatively raising myself up off the "floor". "Hello? Hello?! Can you hear me? Anyone?" But, my voice just echoed out across the empty, white space and bounced back to me. Nobody could hear me.
"Is this what you've been reduced to? An overprotective, obsessive entity driven by your own will and power to 'protect'?" It was that same male voice. He laughed wholly, nevertheless there was no humour in his voice. Not one drop of it.
"Ha!" the man continued. "I bet you don't even know what you're doing! Just making it all up as you go along – a bit like me actually... What d'ya have to say about this theory of mine, then, eh? C'mon, Wolfie – if you don't mind me calling ya that! I'd love to know what's going on inside that mind of yours!"
"Such fire and ice and rage, Time Lord. Maybe, yes I am making this all up, but maybe no, I am not. It is up to you, the Lord of Time, to decide. But, I speak the truth and advise you now, 'chatting' will not get you far in life…"
"Oh, really?!" His voice was laced with heavy sarcasm. "'Cos it seems to have worked for me, a lot, so far. Me and my big gob, yapping away like there's no tomorrow, a right ol' team we are – nobody could stop us." the man gabbled on. "You can ask anyone! On second thoughts, you can ask Rose! She would know, travelling with me for all that time, she knows me just about better than anyone – only met 'im once, but a very nice person Anyone. Anyway! Seeing as Rose is tucked away in there, your – no, her – head, I don't suppose you could reach in and pull Rose out could ya? Just for one teeny tiny second? No?"
As if to confirm this, she forced through a thick, "No."
"How did I know you'd say that? Because I'm brilliant, that's why!" he continued, voice full of casualness and complete with a happy-go-lucky tone. "Where was I? Oh, yes, me and my gob! You really, really shouldn't have brought that subject up. Now, you'll never be able to shut me up. Don't say I didn't warn ya – even though I didn't, but that's not the point. The point is… Anyway, I would never doubt myself for a second; me and my big gob. I mean, who else could I rely on every single time I need help? Nobody! Exactly! We're inseparable; me and my gob! Quite literally – unless someone's bent on their own nefarious purposes to chop off my mouth, then... Anyway! I think that's enough of my gob. Onto talking. Talking. Yes. I love talking, I do. Cos, ya see, when I talk, I tend to talk a lot - and I mean a lot. And, what I mean by that is just talk a whole lot of random rubbish really. Any old thing could come spurting out of this mouth of mine really. I could talk for the whole Universe, if I wanted to. But the thing is, Wolfie, when I'm talking, I tend to be very, very distracting to the person I'm talking to and when I'm being very, very distracting… I can do this!"
A loud, high-pitched buzzing noise occupied the air and it sent a tremor throughout my mind – taken over by some overprotective Bad Wolf thing or not, I could feel it.
"What did you do?!" the melodic voice of the Bad Wolf asked, the slightest smidgeon of worry tingeing her voice. As calmly as was possible, she shouted her question over the loud, juddering roar of the buzzing sound.
"Nothing much, no need to worry Wolfie, no harm done. You're as safe two houses. Just used the Sonic Screwdriver to confuse and lower the psychic barriers," the man explained simply. "Bit nosey, me. Like to have a poke around things - see what I can do. Break through a psychic barrier or two, lower the defences, see what's hidden inside. Like those brilliant, little Russian dolls you can get. I love 'em! Works of art they are…"
"Come!" came a string of voices. My ears and eyes drifted over to the source of the noise, away from the mad rambling of this man The weightless, golden arm glowed brighter, hovering placidly in the air, with a crooked, airborne finger beckoning me closer.
"Come! Come!" the mesh of soft voices chanted gently, from out the vines of light. "Come! Come! Rose, come..."
Oh what the heck, there was a great big mental war of the psychic-mind powers going on around me and nobody was paying any attention to me anyway. The mad man and the Bad Wolf were too busy battling out, for themselves. I didn't even know what was going on, or what they were battling for. They weren't exactly very clear about the subject, while talking. It was all "gob" this and "Time Lord" that. Nobody would know what I was doing.
I had to take a chance. Otherwise, I'd never know what those earlier memories meant. Maybe, this was the key to it all. The truth. My path to salvation. No, scrap that, that sounded really cheesy. Besides, the light and energy was just… there, right in front of me. It wasn't my fault; I wasn't the one who'd gone and idiotically plonked a temptation right in front of my face. What was I to do? Ignore it. I wasn't perfect, a saint, or the Dalai Llama. I was just a normal, London, human girl. I was?!
Only then, did I realise how close I was to the tendrils of light. The voices were hissing in my ear, the tiniest of memories tapping the surface of my head. (I wasn't entirely sure how that worked either, seeing as I was inside my own head in the first place.) It was virtually impossible to back out of this one now; not when I was already half way there; I was in the game.
The arm beckoned me closer, and the speckled, golden light encased me completely, following me, as I stepped ever closer to the grand big lump of gold light-energy. Memories, so I called them, almost instantaneously swept to the surface.
Mum. Dad. A death. First words. First steps. Photos. School. Father Christmas. A red bicycle. Bullies. Mickey. Friends. Parties. Sleepovers. Fashion. Secondary School. Make-up. Detentions. Mobiles. Puberty. Rain. Chewing gum. Perfume. Clubbing. Alcohol. Jimmy Stones. Debt. Hurt. Family. Friends. Henricks. Chips. Lottery tickets. Plastic. Shop window . The Doctor.
Just tiny snippets of memories that vanished as soon as they'd come, head throbbing, wondering, and craving for more. There was no stopping me now. I wasn't turning back.
I shuffled closer to the central call centre of golden energy, more of the little, glowing particles surrounding me than ever before. With one deep breath, I stepped into it purposefully and was totally encased by the light.
Only then, did the scream of "NO - YOU MUST NOT!" reach my ears. But it was already too late.
A/N:- More updates (for this and other stories) vair soonio!
Luurved it? Laiiked it? Okayed it? Despised it SOOOOOOO much that you wanna pelt me with rhubarbs and pencil cases and Humanities teachers? Then… REVIEW!
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