This Is So Not Me – Chapter 7
Written by Ms. Maggs
"Wait." Greg stopped Mandy from dragging him toward the door. "Now that you look good, I should at least change my shirt."
"Now that I look good?" She half-laughed. "How bad did I look before?"
Doh! He silently chided himself. "No, you didn't look bad," he assured her, "you just looked like you were going to Costco, not a club. You know - Costco-casual."
"Costco-casual," she droned, "that sounds like a fancy way of saying dumpy."
"No! Totally not." Feeling terrible for tainting her already fragile self-esteem twice, he stretched the truth to make her feel better. "I didn't mean dumpy–casual, I meant 'local dive bar sexy-casual'."
"Oh!" She couldn't help but laugh at his pathetically cute effort to make her feel better. "So I looked like a desperately single thirty-something slut? I guess I'll take that as a compliment."
After laughing with her, he said, "See, this is why I never get the girl." Anxious to end the conversation, he bolted into his closet.
"Maybe your luck with women will change tonight!"
"I seriously doubt it!"
Joining Greg in the closet, she informed him, "I'm taking you to a martini bar for the 30 and over professional crowd, which means there will be lots of needy women ripe for the picking, I should know, I'm one of them." She sighed, "I keep dragging Wendy there hoping someone will catch her eye and break the Hodges-spell she's under, but for some strange reason it only makes her want him more."
"Don't get me started on that subject." Publically he mocked Hodges, but secretly he was envious that the guy was able to openly show his affection for the love of his life. "Hmm, I brought most of my best shirts to…" He stopped himself before saying Nick's house. "…the homeless shelter."
"Why would you donate your best shirts?"
"My best crazy shirts," he clarified. "Because I wanted to change my image from goofy lab rat to serious CSI guy and I knew I'd be tempted to wear them if they were in my closet."
"There's barely any clothes in here." There were a few shirts hanging and some jeans balled up on the floor along with a sweatshirt.
"I've been pulling doubles and haven't had time to do laundry."
"Oh."
"Why do you have an A&M sweatshirt?" she asked when she noticed the logo. "That's where Nick went to school."
"Yeah, he let me borrow it the other night when I spilled coffee all over my jacket. I told him I would wash it and give it back to him, but I haven't gotten around to it yet."
"He must really like you." Mandy chuckled, thinking of a story Warrick had once told her. "I've heard that he won't even let women wear his college gear after a roll in the hay."
"I'd believe that." While digging one of his old club shirts out of the back of the closet, he explained, "If Nick let a girl wear his college shirt, she'd think it meant something significant. I'm his buddy, so there's no pressure."
"Right." Mandy nodded when he held up his shirt selection. "Because the last thing Love 'Em and Leave 'Em Stokes would want is to accidentally make a girl think she had a shot at a commitment."
Instinctively jumping to his man's defense, Greg sweetly said, "Nick's a great guy, he just has a little more baggage than the average person. After everything he's been through, I think it's probably hard for him to let his guard down and get close to someone."
"You're right." She felt bad for taking a swipe at the Ladies Man with a Heart of Gold. "I didn't mean to sound bitchy. I just hate seeing a guy as great as Nick still single when I know so many women looking for a decent guy. I don't mean me," she quickly clarified, "because I dated Warrick and that would have been weird since they were best friends."
"Yeah." He burst out laughing. "It would have been really weird to see Nick dating you."
"Because I'm too dumpy for him?" She snipped while checking her profile in the mirror hanging on the closet door.
Doh! "No. Because um…" When he saw her self-esteem taking a nose dive, he blurted what he hoped was a confidence boosting answer. "Because I had a crush on you for a while and I would have been jealous. He always gets the girls I like."
"If you had a crush on me, why didn't you ask me out?"
"For the obvious reason." Grinning, he tossed his t-shirt and pulled on the black and white intensely patterned button-down. "You're way out of my league, Webster."
"You really thought that?"
Remembering what Nick said about Mandy having a wild side, Greg nodded. "Yep. You're way too much for a guy like me."
"Aww." While enjoying a peek at her future lover's surprisingly sexy goody trail, Mandy purred, "You're so sweet."
When Nick emerged from the bathroom and saw his date pacing the room, he warmly asked, "Everything okay?"
"No," April anxiously replied. "I think we need to talk about what happened in the kitchen." A nervous laugh tumbled out of her mouth. "What didn't happen is more accurate."
"I'm not sure what…"
"The kiss." She cringed. "It was obvious that you weren't…"
"Oh." Nick tensed and averted his eyes. "That."
"I had been tasting the food and I had garlic breath." She hoped a cute confession would earn her a do-over later. "It's okay if both people have garlic breath, but if only one does it's serious buzz-kill. Sorry." She pleaded with her eyes and a smile.
April's sweet smile saturated Nick with guilt and he was instantly reminded why he never used sweet, intelligent women to prop his reputation. "It wasn't your breath or anything you did. It's…" He wished he could tell more than the partial truth, but he wasn't about to trust someone he barely knew with his biggest secret. "This is probably gonna sound weird, but I think the reason I feel comfortable with you and enjoy your company is…"
"Is what?" she prodded, wanting an explanation.
"I have five sisters, all of 'em super smart and headstrong. Awesome women, every one of 'em and you remind me of…"
"I remind you of your sisters?"
"Yeah." Nick scratched his head. "I didn't know how much until you kissed me." He cringed. "I don't usually date women of your caliber, so it never happened before. I was totally squicked and I didn't know what to say. Sorry."
"Let me get this straight," April huffed as her demeanor changed from apologetic to pissed. "Because I have a brain, I can't be sexy?"
"What?" He couldn't comprehend how she jumped to that conclusion. "That's not even close to what I said."
"You said that you don't usually date women of my caliber, and we both know when you say 'date' you mean 'sleep with'."
"See, right there you sound exactly like my sisters." Hoping humor would diffuse the tension, he chuckled. "They yell at me all the time."
"Probably because they think you're a sexist man-child!"
"Man-child yeah, but they've never called me sexist, 'cause I'm not. They call my brother sexist all the time though, 'cause he is."
"Oh, please!" She laughed at the idea. "You're one of those guys who wants to bag as many brainless babes as possible and hold out on getting pinned down with marriage and a family until the pressure to fit in with the picket fence crowd becomes unbearable! And while you're out having a great time sowing your wild oats, guys like you expect all the nice, smart, girl-next-door types to sit at home and lead angelic lives!"
"No. No, that's not it."
"According to the grapevine..."
"And you believe everything the local gossips say?"
"So you really didn't have one night stands with Marcia Watson, Kelli Donahue, Tanya Mikowski, and Bella Martinez and never call them again?" The silence was deafening. "Guilty!"
"Of what?!" He decided to defend his actions. "Everyone knows those women have slept with half of LVPD and I never said I would call, so what did I do wrong? Havin' casual sex doesn't make me a sexist and if you really stop and think about it, I'm a feminist because I believe that a woman has an equal right to a no-strings-attached good time as a man does. And for the record, I never said you were too smart to sleep with or not hot enough to screw, I said you remind me of my sisters, who I know had plenty of sex before they were married, so there! You're sexy as hell, you're just not sexy to me 'cause I'm not into incest!" Much to his surprise, April burst out laughing.
"We really don't have an ounce of romantic chemistry, do we?"
He warily shook his head and smiled. "None, but I totally respect you as a colleague."
"Same here." Feeling bad for biting his head off, April thoughtfully asked, "Do you still want to have dinner with me?"
"Absolutely." He didn't want to seem like an ungrateful jerk. "I'd love to stay for dinner."
"There's a slight problem." She cringed. "I ruined dinner when I was preoccupied fretting over our kiss from hell."
"Honestly," Nick sweetly confessed, "I hate peanut butter and almost never eat pasta." He patted his stomach. "Gotta watch the carbs."
"You could have told me."
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings." Eager to prove he was a gentleman. "You wanna go out and grab a bite, sis? My treat."
"You're on!" She raced for her purse. "Where do you want to go?"
"As long as I don't have to eat peanut butter or drink Merlot, I don't care."
Hurrying for the door, April said, "Burgers and beer okay?
"Perfect." Following her out, Nick wondered if there was still a chance they could have dinner with his parents next week.
Thanks for reading and the comments on the last chapter.
This one is shorter, but I thought it was a good stopping place and I didn't want to wait so long in between updates : )
Maggs