Chapter 6
Early the next morning Abe work up to the intense blaring of his alarm. The beeping started to resonate in his head amplifying the already painful headache he had from the concussion. There was no hitting the snooze button for Abe this morning so he decided to roll out of bed. The mixture of sleep and haze made the catcher woozy as he went through his morning routine without much thought.
It was not until the cool morning air reached Abe's face when he stepped outside that he finally woke up. As he walked to school he ran through the list of authors, poets, and their works that he had attempted to memorize throughout the previous week. Abe met up with most of the team at the CD shop and after a quick greeting with little explanation about the massive bruised and swollen lump on his head Abe moved to the back of the pack with the quieter members of the baseball team. He could not afford to joke and talk, not with his big literature test still looming over his head so instead the catcher matched names with dates with titles while following the pack.
A hand on his shoulder made Abe look up. Hanai had dropped back to the rear of the pack. The captain had a concerned look on hi face. "I heard from Izumi about what happened yesterday. How are you feeling?"
Abe smiled at his friend. "I'm better; still a little foggy and my head hurts a bit but once I make up the literature test I think I'll be all right."
"Oh yeah, you missed that yesterday didn't you?"
"Yeah," Abe responded.
Hanai picked up on the concern in his friend's voice. "Don't worry Abe. The test was not as tough as Okazaki-sensei made it sound. You'll do fine." After eying the catcher wearily he added "hell, even Kei-kun was boasting about acing the test."
Abe gave the right fielder a big smile and thanked his friend. "If Kei-kun was saying that then I've got this in the bag."
"Hey Hanai what exactly is on the test? Is it a mix of poets and authors or is it just authors and their work?"
"Just authors, their work, and a few dates. I don't remember who all was on it but if you memorized numbers 1-15 on the worksheet then you'll be fine."
"Thanks Hanai."
"No problem," the captain replied.
In no time the team reached the school. The team went to the locker room to store their stuff while Abe split from the group and made his way toward the teacher's room. Okazaki-sensei was seated at her desk when Abe entered. He had never been to the teacher's room; he never had a reason to visit while he was at Nishiura. He was surprised at the vast amount of, well, stuff in the room. It looked a lot like a very cramped office with each teacher having their own cubicle cluttered with papers and books and other miscellaneous school-related, and sometimes not related, materials. At the moment the room was almost completely empty except for a few rogue teachers, including Abe's target.
Abe felt a bit weird being in this place but he had a mission and needed to get it done. He walked over to the tall dark haired Sensei and greeted the honored educator. "Um, good morning Okazaki-sensei," Takaya Abe said as he bowed.
The dark haired teacher turned to look at where the voice had come from. Upon seeing Abe she smiled. "Oh, Abe-kun, good morning. Is there something I can help you with?" She asked.
Abe was glad this was not as awkward as he feared it would be. "Um, yeah actually. I was injured yesterday and had to be absent and I still need to take the test. Is there any time you are free that I could meet you to make up the test?"
"I have a copy of the test right here if you would like to take it now; or else we could wait until lunch and you could meet me here."
"Now is fine," Abe said, "I believe I have everything memorized so it shouldn't take me too long."
"Alright," Okazaki-sensei said as she gave her student a pleasant smile. "Maxwell-san is not here yet and I do not think he will mind if you use his desk for the time being," she said as she gestured to the workspace next to hers that seemed to be a level three disaster area with what had to be kilo for kilo more paper than desk.
Abe thanked his teacher and sat next to her. He shuffled the swarm of papers lying on the desk until he had flat surface to work on.
'Hanai was right' Abe thought after finishing the test, 'it was easy; I don't know what I was so worried about.' The test had taken the catcher just over fifteen minutes to complete and once done he could feel the weight lifted from his shoulders. He was relieved and it showed.
"Finished I see. That was pretty quick," a voice said next to him.
"I had most of them memorized. I spent a few hours yesterday and a good chunk of the night the night before that studying for this. I thought we were going to have to know the poets and their works and dates as well. I'm relieved that it was only the authors ma'am," Abe replied to the teacher.
After handing the paper he watched her eyes move from the paper to his face and then to the unsightly and discolored lump on Abe's forehead. "If I may," she said, "what happened to your head? Is that the injury you mentioned earlier?"
Abe grinned sheepishly. "Yeah," he said. "Yesterday morning I was practicing with Ren Mihashi, the pitcher for the baseball club, and I guess I was getting sick because before I realized it one of his pitches hit me in the head and gave me a concussion. I'm a lot better now but at the time I was knocked unconscious."
"Oh my," Okazaki-sensei gasped.
"I'm fine now ma'am but it was just a bit embarrassing."
"Well I am glad you are all right. I will see you in a half an hour in class." The finality in her voice told Abe that no disrespect was implied but she needed to return to her work.
"Thank you ma'am," he said while bowing and left the room.
The bell signaling the end of the fourth period and the beginning of lunch rang waking Abe from his nap. Abe silently thanked the fact that he had a good relationship with his history teacher and she allowed him to sleep. Abe could not remember the last time he had actually slept in class and was surprised he had now; after taking a long nap the day before and sleeping so soundly that night he hardly felt tired at all during his previous classes. Now it was time for lunch and Abe being fully awake wanted to hang out with the team. He felt a little guilty that he had not given the team any sort of explanation of what happened, although he knew word had gotten around, and he felt bad about missing school the day before as well as morning conditioning and he wanted to make up for it with a little face time to hopefully smooth over any rumors that might be floating around.
The team was gathered in the year 1 class 9 classroom. The classmates of Mihashi, Tajima, Izumi, and Hamada were use to the baseball team gathering and were friendly to the club even if most of the members were in different classes. Abe greeted a few of the students in class 9 that he knew and went over to join the team, who were gathered in the desks around Mihashi and Tajima's.
"A-Abe-kun!" Mihashi greeted the catcher as he made his way over to the group.
Everyone else looked up and greeted the catcher in their own unique ways. Most of the team inquired about Abe's wellbeing and/or the large lump on his forehead while Tajima ran over and slapped Abe on the back with more force than Abe expected. "Careful," joked Hanai, "you don't want to hurt him; he bruises easily."
The team laughed at the catcher's expense. "Hey you try taking one of Mihashi's fastballs to the face. Look at this bruise and tell me it's nothing." Mihashi beamed with pride at Abe's comment. Abe saw this out of the corner of his eye and smiled.
Abe took the seat that Tajima had just vacated in the middle of the group next to Mihashi. Tajima pouted in Abe's direction and eventually took a seat on a nearby desk at the edge of the pack. Abe gestured for everyone to quiet down before he made his apology. "Anyway, guys, I wanted to apologize for not being at school yesterday and missing conditioning today. There's a chance that I'll be missing workouts for the rest of the week; or at least until my headaches go away. I would rather not put any unnecessary strain on myself and get healthy."
"That's a good idea," Suyama concurred. "It would be better for you to be healthy and miss a few workouts than if you were seriously injured because of something petty like forgetting to take your medicine."
The baseball team broke out in laughter. Even Mihashi laughed at the joke.
As the laughter died down from not only the baseball team but also some of the other people in the class who had befriended the baseball club Abe got serious. "But Mihashi," he said matching his tone to the point he wanted to make, "even if I do feel better by the end of the week we're going to cancel all of our pitching practices for the week. Think of it as a vacation."
Mihashi's eyes got big. 'Fight it Takaya, damn it, fight it!' Abe said to himself as he tried to fend off the spell Mihashi was casting on him.
Success.
"B-but A-Abe-kun, I could th-throw with someone else," Mihashi said.
"Leave it to me, the reserve catcher!" Tajima yelled out.
Abe shook his head at the third baseman. "Sorry, Tajima. I don't doubt that you two could throw, but you don't have enough experience catching Mihashi's pitches to know if something is off." He returned his gaze back at Mihashi making sure to stay away from the large orbs Mihashi called his eyes. "Will you promise me, Mihashi?"
The blond teen was fidgeting in his chair. Abe turned his gruff face that he normally used when dealing with Mihashi into his hurt and pleading face. He made eye contact with the pitcher and tried to will himself into the other pitcher's mind. 'Come on, Mihashi,' he thought.
"Um, um, couldn't I j-just pitch a little bit? I'll make sure to stop if anything feels funny," the pitcher pleaded.
"Please Mihashi, for me? I really don't want to have to worry about you hurting yourself. Please?" Abe hated to beg but he really had no choice in the matter. Once he had everything he wanted to say out Abe locked eyes with Mihashi and fell in.
Everyone was astonished. This was the first time they had ever heard anything like that come from Abe. Mihashi himself was shocked to hear the normally rough catcher ask and then actually beg the pitcher not to do something instead of ordering him not to. "Mmm," Mihashi grunted. "Al-alright A-Abe-kun. I promise."
A stunned silence ensued. Oki finally broke the silence. "Um, well, that was a bit wa'awkward," He said.
"Huh?" A few of the teammates asked in unison?
Oki blushed. "You know, wa'awkward." He looked around at the still confused faces staring back at him. "Way awkward. Wa'awkward? For those times that are just too awkward to describe?"
"You mean turtle moments," Nishihiro chimed in.
Everyone looked at the boy genius like he was insane.
"Like this," Nishihiro said feeling their confusion. He put his fingers together like he had mittens on and placed one on top of the other; making a figure like a turtle without front legs and using his thumbs as hind legs. "You know, the awkward turtle."
A few of the members of the group laughed in recognition of the sign.
"That's kinda random," Hanai said with his tough-guy attitude overflowing and an eyebrow raised. He was curious to know where these guys came up with half of the shenanigans that they knew. Nishihiro in particular was too smart for his own good.
Nishihiro put the heels of his palms together and bent his fingers at the middle knuckle and tapped his knuckles together, the sign resembling a clam shell opening and closing over and over. "That's when you bust out the random clam."
Again the team looked at Nishihiro with confusion. He was just too much.
"Anyway," Sakaeguchi said trying to change the topic of conversation.
"Did you just 'anyway' me?" Nishihiro said in fake surprise.
Sakaeguchi shot him a smile and continued "yeah I did. You're too smart, go read another book."
"Just because I actually read books for fun doesn't mean you have to make fun of me for it," Nishihiro shot back.
"Yeah that's right!" Tajima exclaimed.
Oki grinned. "I wouldn't be talking if I were you, Tajima. I'm surprised you know how to read."
It was a particularly harsh comment and if it came from anyone who was not in the baseball club the third baseman would have gotten upset. Instead he played along. "Me is too know how read!"
The group broke out in roaring laughter again.
Abe leaned back and listened to the team bicker and joke with each other. He had lost interest with the conversation just after hand animals were brought in. Instead he had his eye on Mihashi who had been silent since making the promise. He was looking at his feet nervously like he had just done something he should not have. Abe wanted to talk to the pitcher but his head was starting to hurt and he could not think of anything to say so instead he pretended to listen to the group while he watched his friend.
Lunch ended and what seemed like only minutes after that school was out. Abe waited around and did homework while the team worked out. He was sitting on the floor in the hallway outside of the gym when the sound of footsteps echoing in the deserted hallway caught his attention. Shinooka was joined by two other girls Abe assumed were her friends and the trio was talking toward the seated teen. Abe kept his head down but watched the three girls move closer to him.
They walked up to him and encircled the catcher. "Abe-kun, how is your head?" Shinooka asked.
Abe put down the book he was reading and looked up; acting surprised to see the manager. He smiled at the three. "Hello Shinooka-chan, friends," Abe nodded and smiled to the girls on either side of Shinooka. "My head's feeling better today. I never would have guessed one of Mihashi's pitches could do something like this. How are you doing?"
"What happened to your head?" The shorter black haired girl on Shinooka's left spoke up. She blushed after she realized what she blurted out. "I'm sorry," she said. "I haven't introduced myself. I'm Hikari Sakura; I'm a friend and classmate of Shinooka's."
"And I'm Aizawa Mai," the rather busty brown haired girl on Shinooka's right offered. "Nice to meet you, Abe-kun."
Despite being taken aback Abe looked at the girls and smiled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Abe Takaya," Abe said as he bowed his head to the girls.
The three joined Abe on the floor, much to Abe's dismay. He could feel something odd in the mood around him and he felt a little tense. "So Abe-kun, what happened? How did you hurt your head?" Aizawa asked. Abe noticed she was leaning in close.
He laughed and bowed his head. When he looked up the smile he had been wearing was replaced with a fake pleasant one. None of the girls noticed. "Yesterday morning I was with the baseball club's pitcher Mihashi practicing and one of his pitches hit me."
"Oh my that bruise looks terrible. I'm glad you're alright," the busty brunette responded. She batted her eyelashes at Abe before gazing into his eyes. "So you are the catcher for the baseball club? Is it true that the club is made up of entirely first years and you guys bet last year's champion in your first game?"
Abe shot Shinooka a subtle glance saying 'are you serious?' to her before he responded. "Yes. As a team we've gone a long way with only ten first years and managed to defeat some pretty tough schools."
Her eyes grew large as she kept eye contact with Abe. 'Nice try, you've still got years before you are on Mihashi's level. Wait what?' Abe confused himself with his thoughts.
"Abe-kun you're amazing!" Aizawa exclaimed.
"Thank you, Aizawa-san," Abe replied. He hoped she would understand what he was trying to get across.
"You're girlfriend must be really lucky, Abe-kun!" She squealed, oblivious to what Abe was trying to tell her.
He was starting to get annoyed now. "Right now I don't have a girlfriend, Aizawa-san." The catcher stressed the honorific hoping she would notice.
The smile on the busty teen's face widened making the lone boy grow weary. "Really? I never would have guessed." She sunk her head but all too suddenly shot it back up and locked her green eyes with Abe's hazel. "Hey, I know; I won a couple of tickets to the new amusement park on the other side of town. Do you wanna go with me this weekend?"
Abe cursed himself. He should have seen the trap coming a mile away. "I, um, well…" He really did not want to go but could not think of a good excuse.
"Abe-kun, don't you have practice on Saturday?" Shinooka interjected.
"That's right, I wont be in much of a mood the rest of the week while I recover and I have conditioning on Saturday and Sunday I have pitching practice with Mihashi. Sorry Aizawa-san."
The brunette on Abe's left changed her overbearing grin into a pleasant smile. Abe had the feeling that this was not over. "I see," she said, "well then next time." Aizawa got up and started to walk away. "See ya later, Abe-kun!" She called over her shoulder. Ichinose got up and ran over to her friend as she walked away.
"Aren't you going with them, Shinooka-chan?" Abe asked. Despite his best effort he could not hide all of the disdain that was in his voice.
Shinooka looked hurt. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Mai said she had to meet you. I didn't expect her to do something like this."
A genuine smile crossed Abe's face. "I don't know how you do it Shinooka-chan, but you seem to have a habit of introducing me to people who have a crush on me."
"Is that a bad thing?" She asked.
The smile on Abe's face faltered. "Um, well, no," he mumbled.
"Maybe you need to start liking some of them?"
"Ha ha Shinooka-chan. Maybe if you brought the right person…" Abe trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.
"Alright, fine. Tell me who you want me to bring you and I will see what I can do," Shinooka said with a more playful tone.
Abe heard the upbeat tone in her voice but he did not want to play around. "Well there are a few people I admire," Abe thought about the precious few people he was willing to have a relationship with. Only two came to mind and he was positive that it was completely hopeless.
"Well have you told them how you feel? I'm sure that if you tell them they would be happy to date you. You may not know it but there's actually quite a few girls who have feelings for you. I think you should go for it."
Her words shook Abe more than he was comfortable with. "Na, I couldn't do that to them. Things would just end badly."
Shinooka sensed something was wrong. A moment ago Abe was happy; it was a fake happiness but it was happiness none the less. And since the subject of relationships came up everything became instantly sad. "Abe-kun, what's wrong? You said the same sort of stuff when Tajima-kun confessed. Is there anything you want to talk about?"
In reality Abe did not want to share anything. The more people he let into his personal life the more friends he would lose. He knew all this yet he felt he had to tell someone. Something was happening to him and Abe could not tell what it was. "I, well, um," Abe was having a hard time expressing himself. "Well, you know, I'm not exactly boyfriend material. I only end up hurting those who get close to me. I don't want anything to happen that will interfere with the baseball club. It's bad enough that I'm friends with them."
"Abe-kun what do you mean?" Shinooka asked.
"I'm not exactly a friendly person. In fact almost everything about me keeps people away; and that's for a reason. If people get close to me they only get hurt. I learned long ago that if I make friends I always end up hurting them so in order to stop that I stopped making friends. I don't even want to think about how this is going to blow up in my face."
Shinooka looked horrified. "You gotta be kidding me, Abe-kun. What ever could make you think that? You're a good guy who would never hurt anyone."
"Try telling that to my cousin Yusuke. He and I were best friends, closer than that. He meant the world to me and yet I killed him." Abe was fighting to hold back the tears that Yusuke's memory invoked.
"You don't mean that. I'm sure you're mistaken," Shinooka was taken aback at how pitiful her excuses were; but still she hoped.
Abe locked his eyes with hers. "If you saw the note he left me you would understand." Tears started to leak from Abe's eyes. "I, I can't get involved with other people. If I isolate myself from everyone else then I can't hurt them. That's why I put up this act."
Shinooka had to say something; anything to make Abe feel better. She could not stand to see Abe like this but she could not think of anything that would lighten the mood.
Instead the scuffle of feet took control of the conversation. Mihashi was standing before them and was looking quizzically at the pair. "A-Abe-kun are you a-alright?" The pitcher asked.
Abe sniffed a couple of times shook his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. My allergies are giving me a little trouble but I'm fine." Abe looked up and gave the pitcher a big smile. "Grab your stuff from your locker, Mihashi. I'll meet you at the entrance."
Mihashi nodded his head and awkwardly ran off to the locker room.
He looked over at Shinooka still smiling. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about him."
If it were not for the conversation that the two had just had Shinooka would not believe that Abe carried such a massive scar. "Abe-kun, how can you…"
"Shinooka-chan, I'm the best actor you've ever met." Abe gathered his belongings and stood. He was about to walk off but instead turned to the female manager. "Shinooka-chan," he said, "thanks for listening. But please don't tell anyone about this, not even Tajima. There's still some things I need to sort out in my head."
"I promise," she said.
The two bid each other goodbye and Abe made his way to the front entrance to wait for Mihashi. He was still a bit upset at having to remember his cousin but he felt somewhat better having shared what happened. If things worked out the way he had planned then Shinooka would keep quiet while the rest of the team stayed in the dark. He didn't want any sort of rumor or anything going around that would affect the baseball club.
The same scuffling feet shook Abe from his memories. Mihashi had arrived and he looked to be deep in thought, which was not natural for the pitcher but Abe decided to let it slide. It surprised Abe that only the two of them were walking home today. Normally Tajima at the very least joined the duo. The silence was golden so Abe enjoyed walking with his pitcher without talking. All of the memories of his cousin vanished as they walked and as much as Abe did not want it the pair had arrived at the CD shop. Abe turned to Mihashi who had the same deep thought look on his face as when they met up at the school's entrance. "Is everything alright Mihashi?" Abe asked his friend.
The pitcher stood silently for a moment before looking up. "Um, A-Abe-kun I don't th-think you're a b-bad person," he finally sputtered.
Abe racked his brain to think of what the pitcher was talking about. The last time he mentioned this to Mihashi was the day after the pitcher collapsed. What would make the pitcher say that now?
The world was spinning around Abe. There was only one possibility for why Mihashi was acting like this. Abe lowered his head, his voice changing from the upbeat tone he was talking in into a serious one. "Mihashi, how much did you hear."
"I-I, well," the pitcher fumbled his words. He was squirming uncontrollably.
"Mihashi; please," Abe growled, the anger and pain resonated in his voice.
The pitcher stopped squirming and stopped moving altogether. "I heard about your cousin." Abe recognized the voice Mihashi had used. He had heard it only once before.
The taller teen was way more upset than he wanted to let on. "Mihashi if you heard that much then you…" Abe gasped trying to finish his sentence. "Then you…" he tried again but to no result. His chest started to tighten up. Abe knew this feeling too well and cursed his body for having a panic attack in the middle of public and most of all in front of Mihashi.
Abe clutched his shirt and twisted it between his hands. The viselike pressure on Abe's chest clasped off his lungs and made it hard to breath. He was breathing in short gasps and he could feel his legs start to wobble and give out. As the catcher lost his balance he was caught by arms that seemed strong enough to hold up the world. Abe could not open his eyes to see who was helping him but soon enough he felt his arm slip over a pair of shoulders and he was guided to a side street near the CD store and then down onto a bench. The pain surrounding Abe's chest and lungs was paralyzing him and he was sweating profusely. He tried calming himself down mentally but his brain had the picture of his cousin locked in for the long run.
"Abe-kun!"
Abe heard something off in the distance. It was barely recognizable but it sounded familiar.
"Abe-kun!"
'There it is again,' the voice in his head said. 'I think someone's calling my name.'
"Abe-kun!"
This time Abe was sure he heard his name being called. He focused all he could muster and opened his eyes as much as he could. A familiar blond haired face was looking at the catcher. The last time Abe had seen this face was before their first practice game against Mihoshi. True and utter terror the likes of which Abe had never wanted to see again was staring up at the taller teen. Abe was too ashamed in his weakened state to look at his friend so he tried to avert his eyes. Instead they passed over the traps Mihashi used to see through and Abe was sucked in. The picture of his cousin vanished from Abe's mind and instead he saw his pitiful self in his friend's eyes; he was a sweating and his face was scarlet and contorted in pain.
The pitcher looked into the hazel eyes staring up at him. "What's wrong Abe-kun?"
Abe, who was still fighting a desperate battle with his body, was failing to keep eye contact with his friend because his head would not hold still. The situation in his chest was growing desperate and he wanted with all he had to curl up into a ball and cry.
That was until two stern hands touched Abe's bobbing head. Mihashi had steadied Abe's face directly at eye level and was trying to keep the taller teen focused on the pitcher. It worked but not the way Mihashi had expected. When Abe registered that Mihashi had Abe's cheeks in his hands the catcher's mind blanked and rebooted, this time with Mihashi's gentle but callused hands as the only things in Abe's universe. As his mind began to process more and more everything melted away except for the feeling of rough skin softly touching his cheeks. Abe was in Zen; he felt the rapture and the planets aligned for him. All of his pain and sadness and despair faded away until the only feeling he had left was Ren Mihashi.
The moment passed and Abe's mind was processing in full force and flooded with thoughts. The first thing he tried to do was figure out what the new feeling he had was. He had never in his life felt as happy or safe or peaceful as he had when Mihashi held his face. The catcher racked his brain trying to link his feelings to something he could describe. Unfortunately the only thing he could link it to were the lyrics from the old love songs his parents listened to. 'Maybe that's what this is,' Abe could not help but think. A smile escaped across Abe's lips. 'Maybe the boy who doesn't believe in love, has just fallen in love.'
Unfortunately that was far from the only thought in Abe's mind. Once he realized that he was in love with one of the only two people he had ever known that he felt truly close to the dark side of Abe's mind took over with thoughts of how he was now going to hurt the pitcher. The voice inside of Abe's head had a point. 'Just because you love him does not mean that he loves you.' The voice was right; he would surely drive his newfound love from his life.
With both the joys of love and the pain of loss making their respective cases in Abe's mind, the entity that was the catcher was able to retake his body. "Mi…ha…shi," Abe managed.
"A-Abe-kun! W-what's wr-wrong are you a-alright are you hurt w-what's going on?" The pitcher rushed.
Abe, who still had the epic battle of pleasure and pain raging in his head decided that since he could not think he would trust his impulses and acted on semi-instinct. Without saying a word he snaked his arms around Mihashi and pulled the smaller teen into a tight hug. "I'm better now, thanks," he whispered.
"Wha, what happened, A-Abe-kun?" The pitcher asked again.
"I was having a panic attack but I'm feeling better now. I think I have things under control. Thank you, Mihashi."
Mihashi pulled away from the catcher's arms enough to look him in the eye. "I-if you ever, th-that is if A-Abe-kun w-wants to talk ab-bout anything I hope you w-will tell me."
"Mmm," Abe grunted in agreement. He never wanted to be away from Mihashi again in his life.
Mihashi joined Abe on the bench and the two talked for the next two hours. The conversation covered many topics all of which were inconsequential; instead Abe was just happy to be with Mihashi even if the smaller teen had no idea how Abe felt about him. The topic of love was carefully avoided by Abe; he did not want to worry about anything like that while the pair talked. There was no way that Mihashi was gay and even less of a chance that Mihashi would fall in love with a guy like Abe. Instead Abe spent most of the time telling Mihashi about his past and most of the dark secrets he was hiding. Much to Abe's enjoyment the pitcher kept his catcher's spirits high and comforted the taller teen in the weird way only Mihashi could.
While he was talking to his friend something occurred to Abe. He had never thought of himself as 'gay'. He hardly ever fantasized about people and rarely masturbated. The last time he did masturbate he could not remember who he thought of or even their sex. Abe knew that his chance of pairing off with another human was slim to none so he never concerned himself with gender. If it was meant to be then he would be happy with anyone.
When the sun went down and the streetlights came on the pair went their separate ways. Once he was sure that Mihashi could no longer see Abe the catcher almost danced all the way back to his house. He was still upset about both reliving the memory of his deceased cousin as well as with the fact that his love for Mihashi would forever be one sided. That former had been resolved with the latter and Abe promised himself that night that while he would never be with Mihashi, he would always be behind the dirty blond teen supporting him with whatever the pitcher could. As he lay in bed waiting for sleep to over take him Abe thought about following Mihashi into university and then in life. Anything that Mihashi needed Abe wanted to make sure the pitcher got. Abe saw himself living in the same town as the pitcher and then fast forwarding to Abe babysitting Mihashi's kids; anything he could to help the pitcher out.
As sleep overtook Abe he promised to always be there for Mihashi, even if it cost Abe his life.