8. Fears
Jason held me tight as we both sat in my room alone. I was cradled into him and his arms were constricted around my waist. His chin was on my hair, and I could hear his soft breathing.
"I'm s-" but Jason cut me off.
"Shut up with that sorry crap with you?" he said trying to sound mad, but he didn't fool me.
"Listen since I ruined our first date today how about we go see a movie. That sounds human enough." I said pleased with the idea. Jason and me in a dark room, watching a scary movie. Me curled up against his warm chest and acting like I was scared.
"Sounds good to me. What do you want to see?" he asked like the gentlemen he was and will always be. He looked down at me politely.
"Something scary for sure. None of that stupid chick flicks girls drag their boyfriends to." I said relieved to be myself around him.
"So I'm your boyfriend now?"
"What else wold you want to be called? A friend?" I challenged him.
"No boyfriend works. Something scary, but I supposed I would be more scared than you." he rolled his eyes while saying this. He already knew the answer, but I couldn't resist.
"Naturally." I said with a superior voice, I am a girl after all. Human or not.
I jumped up with all the grace I had and he stared at me like I was the most beautiful creature on the planet. I took his hand and carried him down the stairs and rushed out the door. Skylar wasn't down there, but Nick was in his place so I assumed that Skylar had returned to the watch. I leaped in my car and put Jason on his side.
I drove going faster than the average car could go. We were at the Movie Theater in about 5 minutes. I got out and took Jason up to get our tickets. It seemed that Friday the Thirteenth was playing so we decided we would go see that for today. I got him some popcorn, soda, and some candy for Jason only of course. I had no appetite and Jason seemed to get a kick out of that. We got some good seats in the back and we waited for the movie to start.
"Are you sure you wanted to see this? I mean it's supposed to be pretty freaky." Jason said in a whisper.
"Jason in case you haven't noticed I am the definition of freaky here. So I think should be fine. I'm more worried about you."
He looked at me disgusted. "Me being scared? That's not even possible." He said sounding all macho touch and all that.
"Sure it isn't." I muttered under my breath.
The lights went down and the movie began.
"I was not scared!" Jason yelled in the car ride home. "I was acting and it turns out I was pretty good at it."
"If you weren't scared why were you the one who cringed in my lap while I watched perfectly?" I asked.
"I was acting for the second time." Jason repeated.
"Sure you were."
He rolled his eyes and faced toward me. "I know you enjoyed it. I could hear you laughing. The people in front of us were looking at you strange." He said.
"How would you know? You were in my lap the whole time!" I snorted.
"Not the whole time." He responded.
"Right, but after the first 20 minutes you were screaming. Did you know you scream like a girl?" I laughed.
"I do not! And it was more than 20 minutes." He said.
"You are right. My bad it was 25 minutes." I rolled my eyes. Why are all guys afraid to admit that they were scared? He knew I would win, he was still trying though.
"Ok maybe I was a little scared, but I wasn't as scared as the guy 3 rows in front of us." He said a little relieved.
"Your right. I thought he was going to explode!" I joked.
"It's good he didn't for your sake, but he did pee his pants, I mean they were soaked! I can't believe he did that! I haven't peed myself since I was three." Jason went on.
"I don't think a guy that's 28 should pee his pants."
"I wonder if he got on his girlfriend. She was pissed when he did that. Then she got even more mad when we were howling with laughter when he ran up the aisle." Jason was laughing hard again. I've never seen him laugh so much.
"But then again who wasn't laughing." I was laughing too, but my laugh sounded more like a song and his sounded like…well just not like mine. "Oh I think he did get it on her. He did drink a lot of soda in there. I think he ran that fast not only because he wanted to get out of there, but I think if he stayed that his girlfriend would have shot him." I explained.
"I would have liked to see that." Jason's laughter seemed to cool, but were in such a good mood that it was hard to stop laughing completely.
We made it to his house around 10:00pm. It seemed like the day went by slowly, but at the same time it went really fast. I walked him up to his door. "I'll meet you upstairs." I said as I winked. I gave him a kiss tonight, because I knew his dad was watching from somewhere. At least I think it was his dad for I had some strange feeling that we were being watched.
He opened the door and I got in my car and pretended to drive off, but I still got into his room before he made it up 5 steps. I was fast, if I do say so myself.
The door opened and his eyes lit up when he saw me sitting on the bed. I was looking around his room and I was so distracted when he came in I could barely think.
"Hey." He breathed. I smiled and he came to sit down by me at once. I leaned on to his side and closed my eyes, inhaling the scent that came off his wonderful skin. He was so warm, so soft, so gentle, and so perfect. I can't imagine being with anyone other than Jason. I loved him, he was my mate and he will always be my mate, no matter what happens now.
"So what do you want to do?" he asked me. I knew what I wanted to do so I had to fight the urge to just kiss him and let things take their course from there, but that was way too dangerous. Damn female hormones. I thought to myself.
"I still want to hear more about you."
"What do you want to know?" Jason said once again today.
"Anything. Tell me your story, details and be specific please." I inched closer to him and held him tight to my side.
He took in a deep breath and began his story for the first time. "I was born in Colorado. I lived there most of my life, until my mom died, which of course you already know." He said with a sincere voice. He didn't want to upset me, but this went along with the story. "We moved because Colorado reminded my dad too much of mom so we decided for Oregon.
"When I moved here I had absolutely no friends. I sat alone everyday for the first few weeks. Then Trevor sat by me one day at lunch and he has always been m best friend ever since. I had good passing grades and I still do now. I've never been real good at sports, but that hasn't stopped me from playing them." He concluded.
"Where did you go to school at Colorado? Did you leave any friends behind?" I pursued. I wanted to know everything about this boy, this man.
"I wasn't really the most popular kid in school back at Colorado. I miss the sun and the harsh winters that followed it. The kids weren't exactly the nicest kids you will ever meet either. So I don't really talk about them much.
"The school was…I can't even remember the name of it, I hated it so much. The teachers were from hell and the principle was even worse. I never thought the devil himself could have an offspring, until now that is." He laughed at his own joke. I thought it was funny that he thought his principle was the devil. I wished that the principle that caused Jason so much misery would get to see my devilish side.
Jason seemed to have read my mind. "I don't want him to have a heart attack to so don't go trying to find him, because I know if you try you'll end up finding him. Of course he would have thought he had already died my seeing you." he joked. I rolled my eyes again and I heard Jason yawn.
"It's been a long day, you should rest." I told him as I went to the window to leave.
"Don't go." He asked.
I smiled. "I'll be right back, I promise." I waited until he nodded at the promise then I flew out the window and landed perfectly on the ground. I ran in a flat out sprint to my house. I picked up Cody's scent around the house so I knew everything was still normal-as normal as vampires could get. I laughed at the joke from the inside. It really wasn't that funny.
As I opened the front I saw that nobody was in the living room as I had hoped. I looked upstairs and in every bedroom that we all knew of and some that only Skylar and me knew of. (For special purposes) I did a 360 search around the house and I still caught everyone's scent, but I found no one. Then I started to panic. I ran out for miles in search of my family. I still found nothing. I went east and made into another small town whose name I didn't really care about at this point. Still no sign. What if something had happened to them? Did Sam or someone come back for them?
It was starting to get light out and I realized that not only had I lied to Jason, but also I lost the rest of my family. I went Jason's house to find he was missing too. Where the heck was everybody?
I tried following his scent, but I lost track of it somehow. It was like they knew I would look for him so they picked him up or something. I ran back to my as fast as I could. I think I even broke my record on how fast I could go, but I couldn't think about that, not when Jason may need me. I burst into the door and still I found not a single trace of anything or anyone. I was about to go back out the door until I heard, "Surprise!"
I wheeled around to see Skylar and my half of the family, but I couldn't see them, all I could see was the honey-blond haired boy standing in the middle with a wide grin. Instant relief flooded through me now that I knew they were all safe from harm…for now.
"What the hell is this?" I roared at Skylar.
He put his hands up in defense like the day he threw some dead animal at me. The day everything was normal, the day everything was right, and the days I have never met Jason. "A party. And to be more specific your birthday party." He winked at me.
"My birthday party?" I asked astonished.
"I told you she would forget. You owe me five bucks." I heard Nick whisper to Angel. She rolled her eyes and gave him his money.
I finally got a good look at my surroundings. Streamers were posted in every corner in the room, with my favorite colors, purple and blue. There was some pop; two pieces of cake and some snacks, which I assumed, were for Jason-since he is the only one who eats in this pace.
Then I looked at Jason again. "You were in on this?" I half yelled at him. I couldn't help laughing, but at the same time I was so mad.
"Yes." He admitted with that same grin that made his dark, hazel eyes light up. He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal, but it was to me. For one I did forget about my birthday and two I don't really like celebrating it, and they know that. I think Skylar does it just to bug me. "It was very difficult to keep the secret from you. I thought you would see right through me and then you would figure it out."
Then I realized what day it was. "Oh my gosh! It's Monday! We have to get you to school Jason." I hurried gathering things together. I can't believe Skylar would let Jason have pop this early in the morning. I'll talk to him about that later.
"Calm down mom. Skylar already got me ready." He rolled his eyes at that. Had Skylar and Jason already bonded? It seemed so. The way Jason said his name and the way Skylar hung around him. I'm guessing they are both already best buds. I smiled. "You just have to take me to school."
"Ok if were all here who is watching them?" I said them like they were my enemy and right now they were.
"Angel is keeping tabs on who is coming and then I'm sure you could sense their life if they try to get too close, but everyone had to be together to celebrate your birthday." Skylar answered. I grimaced at the word birthday. I hated birthday parties, especially mine.
"Fine. Jason let's go." I wasn't in the best mood right now, but I was sure being alone with Jason would help cheer me up. He walked out the door with me and with no argument. He opened the car door on the passenger side and I got in on mine. Driving off into the day, with Jason by my side is very peaceful. I suppose it wasn't like that for Jason. He still wasn't used to my driving. The way I could tell was how his hands griped the seats so tight I was afraid he would tear it.
The parking lot was rather full, but yet not full enough to make it hard to find a space. Whispers filled the air like our first day of school here. "What is Jason doing with her?" I heard one boy ask. "What's so special about Jason?" said another. "Why should Jason get the perfect Claire?" said a familiar voice, Trevor I presumed.
"Hey Jason." Said Trevor as he was walking toward us. He looked at Jason with envious eyes that made me smile. It was so funny to me how people fought over a monster.
"Hey Trevor." Jason said with his oh-so glorious smile. They walked up to each other, gave hugs and then came back to where I was standing.
"Listen have you seen Cody? I haven't heard from him since Saturday. His mom said she thought he was with one of us, because he hadn't come home from his hike. I've been trying his cell, and strangely it still hasn't died. It rings perfectly." Trevor shook his head like he was trying to solve a puzzle. And since I knew what had really happened to Cody I knew it was and unsolvable.
"No I haven't either." Jason said with a hint of concern in his voice. They were both worried about Cody, and I destroyed his life, something bad did happen to him.
They both started walking, leaving me in the parking lot. Skylar pulled in with his Mercedes, and Nick, who is with Angel, in her pink BMW. I waited for them to leave the cars and come to stand next to me. Then the gossip and whispers got worse. "Where is the rest of them?…Where did the one red haired chick go?…I could have sworn there were more…Weren't there like nine of them before?" and then continued for the day.
Not all were about us of course. News was spreading around that Cody was missing. Worried faces all looked around hoping they would see Cody just appear. It was just too bad that wasn't.
I walked into Chemistry and sat down in my normal spot. Jason came in about a minute later and sat down next to me. He put his hands in his pockets and didn't even look at me. I was having trouble listening to the lesson, worried about what was bothering Jason. The bell rang and it seemed like Jason flew out of his seat as soon as possible. I saw his practically half run to our study hall. I could keep and even pace with him, but I was going to give him some space.
When I walked in I saw Skylar sitting next to Jason rubbing his shoulder, soothing him I suppose. Jason didn't want to cry in front of me. He didn't like to show any weaknesses, even though he had a right too. Skylar caught my eye and nodded. I was going to give him some space and let him cry in peace. I walked the hallways and I found Angel's class and she wasn't in there. I traced her scent through the hall and then I found her outside sitting in a tree outside of the school campus. Her face was calm, which made all of my fears vanish, but still curiosity got the best of me.
"Ange?" I called. Her head didn't move, but she heard me all right. I jumped up onto the branch that she was hidden on and leaned my head on the rough bark.
"Did you ever notice how nice the sky looks?" she asked, dazed. Her voice was sweet, but it seemed like she was hiding something from me. Oh, no. Not my Angel too.
"Angel if you haven't noticed it's raining." I said. I nudged her shoulder, but she still did not move.
"It's still nice though. I mean we get to walk out and act like were normal." What was Angel talking about? Has the agony of being immortal finally get to her?
"I guess I see what you mean. We get to walk around. We can talk and socialize like normal humans." I was trying to agree with her, but it's kind of hard when you don't know what she is talking about. "What are you getting at?"
She looked down. "I miss being human. Not that I regret ever meeting you, you guys are my family, and I do mean all of you. Even Sam and them. I don't regret falling for Nick and I don't regret helping you save Jason. I just miss having that normal life. You know? Not going around everyday knowing you're a monster." She laughed at herself. We all were just some vampires that have self-esteem issues I guess you could say.
"We all wish we were humans, but we all wish we still know each other if we were, but think about ok? If we weren't humans how could we have met each other and found the ones we want to be with for the rest of our lives? This was given to us for a reason and because of it we have found our true loves, our other halves to ourselves." I explained. I regret the way I was changed, not that I was changed. If I wasn't I wouldn't have met my family, or Jason.
"I know we all do. It's just a dream I know that will never come true." She sighed and turned to look at me.
"What brought all this on? Since when were you ever the one to complain about what we are?" I asked. Angel never complains about us. She is one of the happier ones to accept our fate.
"I'm afraid that one of us won't make it through the fight. That our family will lose one of its members. That is my worst fear. I don't want to lose any of you, not even Jason. I actually like him. Just wait when he is one of us!" she exclaimed. Her smile was wide and it touched her eyes. There was a little dimple on each of her cheeks and it made her the most beautiful female creature on this planet, to me of course. I turned the other way and I could feel her eyes pouring into my back.
"You don't plan to change him do you?" her tone was understanding and so much like a soft lullaby to me.
"How can I change him? Why would I want to give him this terrible fate?" here were are with the low self-esteem issues again. "I mean I already gave it to his best friend." Which reminded me of Cody. Where was he?
At times like this she could read my mind like it was a book. "Cody is at home. Skylar took him hunting last night so everything is fine." She assured me in that tone that made me just want to…well I don't know really, but it just made me more calm. Yeah let's say that. "With Jason, what if he wants to be with you forever? If he really wanted this would you give it to him?" she challenged.
I sighed. I knew she was right and she knew it too. If Jason really wanted this, how could I not give it to him? She smiled that little smile that made me want to wring her little neck.
"You want to know my biggest fear?" I asked realizing myself what it is.
"Claire has a fear? Claire, the definition of fearless is actually afraid of something?" Angel teased in that voice again.
I glared at her. "I'm serious, Angel." I hissed.
"I know you are. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." She apologized with a smile that I couldn't help, but forgive her. I believe she called it the puppy dog eyes. It was true, but on her it was much cuter. "Go on."
"I'm afraid of-" my voice faded with a whoosh of my breath. I was knocked from the tall tree and I landed on my feet. Angel was next to me in an instant, but I couldn't believe what had just happened.
"I thought I caught you scent here. I thought you would have fled and left so we couldn't find you." said a soprano voice, with mocking in its tone.
"Taylor!" I growled. Why way she here? Was she here for Jason? I snarled at her and I felt her flinch and then regain herself.
"Oh, no big bad Claire is gonna kill me!" she mocked me. Anger flared in me. "Where's Jason? Or did you already kill him?" Angel was trying to hold me back.
"What the hell are you doing here you little leach!" I heard Skylar scream. Skylar called her a leach. I knew the pain was great while he said this, but at the same time I knew he meant it. This was what Taylor has become.
The schoolyard became full of students who heard our yelling. I saw some of their eyes go wide when they saw all of us yelling at each other. The last person I saw was Jason staring at me with shock and some other emotion. Was it fear?
Nick came to stand beside Skylar, Angel and me. We all had to stop growling now that we had an audience.
"Go back to your precious Sam! You don't belong here anymore!" Nick was yelling so hard that it was on the edge of a hiss.
"Why are they yelling at each other?…I thought they were family…Is there something going on with Sam?" voice around us swam and mingled. They echoed from every surface coming back to me.
Then Syd came out with Ben by her side. "Still hanging with that loser of a human?" Syd was mocking me too.
"Leave Jason out of this!" Skylar and me shrieked. "Jason has nothing to do with this! Just leave him alone!" we were both in unison. It was like we had the same minds at least when it came to protecting Jason.
"Jason is the cause of this?" several voices said at the same time. I glanced at Jason who was truly afraid. My anger then had awoken from a deep sleep. They were causing my Jason pain.
I walked right over to Taylor. My anger was at its limit and they all knew that. Taylor took a step back feeling the fury radiate off my skin like the sun.
"Go the hell back to where you came from! You dare every come back to mock Jason or cause him more pain I will kill you." every word was the truth. Even though it was hard to say, I meant. The end of the sentence was more towards a whisper, but it was so hard to keep my voice low right now.
Taylor then winced at the anger in my words. For a moment it seemed like her face became normal again, but then that face I knew vanished and it was replaced with an evil grin. "We will be back." Taylor said. Then she walked back into the forest with Syd. Ben just stood there with a pleading face. It was like I was the only one who could save him.
"Ben!" Syd ordered. His face if emotion vanished just like Taylor's did. What was going on here?
Jason then grabbed my arm like Ben used to when I changed him. He was so afraid. "Jason it's fine. None of them will hurt you. Not now, not ever." I promised.
"Ok break it up! Get back to class. Mr. Steward please put the rock down and report to my office." I heard our principal yell. He made his way to me. "Ah Miss Emerson I hope there hasn't bee an issue here?" he asked politely. He knew I would cause trouble.
"Not anymore." I spit. I walked away with Jason in my hand and I knew the other were following me. I walked to Jason's next class and made sure he was settled. Then I walked back out to the grass areas in the parking lot.
"So what was your fear?" Angel asked. I knew she would never forget it.
"You just saw it. I'm afraid that I'll have to kill them to rescue Jason." I sighed. Skylar, Nick, and Angel all had their bodies close to mine. They were trying to comfort me. I don't want to kill them, but if I have to I know that I will. And that is what scares me the most. What kind of monster have I become?