4. Red, silver and annoying

Ether, Munchin and me exchanged annoyed looks. Our day was bad enough as it is, did we really need a flying, laughing idiot ? Finally, after looking at him from in the distance for a while, Ether slowly turned to look at us.

"So… What do we do?" She asked slowly. "Do we go and see who this guy is?"

"I'm not really sure I want to meet him, to be honest. He kinda looked like us, biomechanical and all… And anybody who laughs in joy about that is not somebody I'm dying to meet." I replied thoughtfully.

"Don't worry Icarax, you won't meet him, he's gone already." Munchin said to me. I sighed in relief. I had had all I could take for one day.

"Well, I'm not sad about the fact we missed him. Rather, what do you say we set up camp somewhere and sleep over things a bit?" I suggested.

"Already? We've barely woken up." Ether said, surprised. I shrugged.

"You guys can do whatever you like, no problem, but I need to sort my thoughts out a bit. And best way for me to do that is to rest somewhere quiet." I explained patiently.

"Good luck finding some peace and quiet here in this swamp with that idiot zooming around." Munchin scoffed. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you think I want to start looking for a place to camp now?"

--

The three of us agreed to find a place to rest. The Mist was becoming thicker again anyway, so looking for keystones would have been hard, or even a complete waste of time. I finally found a nice, dry island somewhere in the swamp. It was quite large. Big enough to have some mighty trees grow on it, at least. One tree had fallen over, however, and from the looks of it not too long ago. I choose that tree as my bed, it would make it easier for me to get on my feet again that way.

Ether had searched for materials to start a fire with. That was a no so easy task. One, it was very wet here in the swamp, so tough luck finding something dry. Two, there weren't that many trees here, fallen over or not, that could serve as fire wood. Still, don't ask me how she did it, she returned with her arms full.

"And if this isn't enough." She said as she dropped the wood on the ground. "We can always chop off some pieces of Icarax' bed."

"Over my dead body." I hissed. "Cut any tree you want, but not this one." I caressed the nice tree sweetly with my bladed hand. Ether shook her head at the sight. She turned to Munchin.

"Ayway, can you get this fire going, Munchin?" She asked our mosquito-like friend.

"Why me?" He asked, confused. "Can't you do it yourself?"

Annoyed, Ether waved her pincer-hands. "Hello? No hands? If I take a twig between my pincers I'll snap it in two before you can say 'insect'. Can't help it." She pointed at Munchin's four hands. "You still have all the fingers necessary to rub two sticks together."

"She has a point, Munchin." I said from my spot on the tree. "I can't do it either."

"Alright already, I'll do it. I was just asking, jeez." Without wasting another word, our green and grey friend got to work. After a while, he got a nice fire. Munchin and Ether sat down around it. I preferred staying on my tree. I couldn't sit normally because of those weird legs of mine, and I didn't feel like standing the entire time. The mist had become so thick now that what little there remained of the sun – she was going under already – was completely blocked out. The fire provided nice light and heat.

"I never thought a journey to a fantasy world would be like this." Ether said after a while, her voice no more than a whisper. Munchin nodded.

"Yeah, when I pictured myself in Ivalice, it sure wasn't as a mechanical insect."

"It wouldn't be that bad if I just had hands and could walk around normally." I added. The three of us sighed.

"I hope finding those keystones won't be too hard. I want to go home and be normal again." Munchin muttered.

"Don't count on it being a cakewalk." I sighed. "The Occuria did this for their amusement, remember? I doubt they'd make this 'game' so that it's easy and quickly over."

Ether snorted. "Those damned Occuria. I knew they were arrogant bastards, but this…"

"Like I said." Munchin told her. "Some sick kind of humour they have."

"This is almost as weird as that story in which Kel swapped you guys' genders." I remarked. Ether laughed. "True, that was weird."

"I say." Munchin agreed. "But at least we still were human in that story. But… Look at us now. I'm a damn insect! A mosquito! I hate mosquito's."

"Don't we all?" I snorted. "You're not the only one who has reason to complain, by the way. I'm sure I said it already but it annoys me so much that I'll say it again: at least you guys don't have to walk around on four legs."

"Having a scarab-shaped head isn't exactly that fun either." Ether grumbled. "Or blade-like pincers, or whatever my hands are. Really Munchin, you're lucky to have hands with fingers."

"Let's just agree that all three of us are royally screwed." Munchin concluded. Ether and I nodded. After a short silence, our mosquito-like friend asked:

"What do you think that red and silver thing from earlier was?"

"An idiot." Ether scoffed. "Really, the way he yelled, it was dumb."

"True." Munchin muttered. He seemed to be thinking about something. I yawned. I was getting tired, to be honest.

"Ah well… Whatever or whoever it was, if he's important for us, we'll bump into him again sooner or later." I nestled my weird head on the tree. "I'm gonna get some sleep. 'Night you two."

They muttered something I couldn't fully understand, so I just ignored it and closed my eyes. Maybe I would wake up realizing all this was just a bad dream, after all.

--

When I woke up again, at first I almost panicked. Where was I? What was I doing in a swamp?! Then I saw Ether the beetle and Munchin the mosquito, not to mention my own deformed bladehands, and I groaned. I remembered what had happened the day before. So it wasn't a dream, after all. We really were trapped in a sick joke of the Occuria. Groaning, I raised myself of my nice tree and scurried over to my two insect-like companions. They were soundly asleep. The fire had died out. The mist had almost fully gone away. Only here and there a small puff of it obscured a bit of the swamp from view. It was quite silent. For a moment, these haunted Deadlands almost seemed peaceful. I laughed silently. Yeah, right. The Nabreus Deadlands were all but peaceful. They were one of Ivalice's most cursed places, save perhaps the Necrohol of Nabudis, which laid in this swamp anyway. I took a deep breath and noticed I was hungry again.

I let Ether and Munchin sleep and looked for a descent meal. The thought of sucking another living thing dry with my pincers was far from appealing, but it had to be done if I wanted to keep myself alive. I was wondering if I couldn't just suck a plant dry like a leech, but some seriously fucked up part in my mind urged me to go and hunt. Great, now I was starting to behave like a hunting bug aside from looking like one! Still, I thought, why not? If I couldn't catch anything, I could still suck some vegetables dry. It's not like draining them gave me any sort of taste.

I moved quietly and slowly through shallow water. At least that's one thing I was good at with these bladelimbs of mine. There were some Focalor nearby and I briefly wondered if I should try to suck one of those dead. That is, until something slimy bumped into me. I realized with disgust it was Foobar. You know, those purple flans that accompany Cúchulainn in battle? Well, one of those was attacking me now! It's squishy body couldn't damage my metallic skin though. And as it prepared to head but me again, I repelled it. The Foobar sailed through the air and landed on dry land. Before it could slither away, I had raised my pincer and stabbed it right in its foul body. Almost immediately, it was being sucked dry by me. Luckily that 'eating' this way didn't require me to taste anything. For surely, that foobar would have tasted disgusting. As soon as nothing remained of it – no, not even dried and withered remains! That's because it's a flan and existed solely out of liquid – I returned to camp. When I arrived there, Ether and Munchin had awoken.

"Where have you been?" Munchin asked. I shrugged.

"Hunting. I was hungry."

"Did you catch anything?" He asked again.

I nodded. "Yeah, I sucked a Foobar dry."

Munchin made a sound like he was about to vomit. "Not those blood-filled flans, I hope?"

"The very same."

If it weren't for the fact that he already had that colour, Munchin would have become green. "Double yuck."

"Ah don't give me the 'yuck'." I snorted. "It's not like you taste anything when sucking a meal dry."

"Speaking of meals, I'm hungry myself." Ether piped in. Then she frowned, confused. "I only wonder how I am supposed to feed."

"Try those mandibles on your head." I replied. "Seems like a logical choice."

"What about me?" Munchin asked. "How do you suppose I'm supposed to feed?"

I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Munchin, what's that thing on your snout?"

He scratched his head for a second, then slowly replied: "A stinger?"

"Brilliant observation!" I sneered. "Munchin, you look like a mosquito, so act like one. Go sting something."

"Man you're bitter." My mosquito-like friend said, rather angry.

"Damn straight I am. I still hate everything about being an insect and the thought that I constantly need to feed by sucking things dry makes me utterly sick to my stomach." I replied heatedly. Then I scurried over to my tree again and laid down. "Now go and stuff yourselves full, you two. Then we can start looking for those damn keystones."

Not wasting another word, the two flew off. They probably figured it was best to leave me be for a while. They were right.

--

After a while, don't know how long, they returned, looking rather satisfied. I guessed they had found something to feed on. However, I did not ask how they had devoured whatever they had eaten. I didn't want to torture my stomach. I got up from my tree and skittered over to where my two fellow victims were, when a sudden shout broke the silence of the swamp.

"WAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Groaning, the three of us turned in the direction of the sound simultaneously. And yeah, red and silver was back. This time, I didn't waste time talking. I wanted to know who that guy was. Repelling myself of the island, I hurried after him, Munchin and Ether following my example. My two friends were both faster flyers, Ether being the fastest. She caught up with the red and silver dude first. Calling upon her new power of Time Duplication, she summoned around ten past selves of her right in front of the speeding weirdo. He came to an abrupt halt in midair.

"End of the line, speedy." All Ethers said at once. "Now get down on the ground, we want to have a little chat with you."

"Fine Ether, whatever you say." The guy replied. He headed down to the muddy ground and stood there, waiting. Ether made her past copies disappear and wondered briefly how the guy knew her name. On the other hand, she did feel like she knew his voice… Shrugging, she flew down to meet him. Soon enough, Munchin and I joined her.

The speeding weirdo was not like us. He was far, and I really mean far, better off than us. First of all, he didn't look like an insect. Not in the slightest. He was humanoid in shape, with long, powerful looking legs and broad shoulders. His armoured body had four jet rockets mounted on it and his head was covered by same sort of red helmet that seemed fused to his face, like with us. In his right hand he carried a shield with three spinning blades on it, in his other hand some sort of blaster. Like said before, he was coloured silver and red. Though humanoid, he was still biomechanical. Still, I wouldn't have minded looking like him rather than like the insect I was.

"Do I know you?" Ether asked, confused. I noticed her pincers were… twitching? Probably a sign she was ready to attack at any moment.

"Common Ether, I'd recognize your voice anywhere. Even though you're a beetle now, you still don't fool me." The dude said. Munchin's eyes narrowed.

"Wait a second…" He muttered, stepping closer to the red and silver guy. "Kel?"

"The one and only!" Kel replied, grinning all the while. "Hi Munchin." He looked over to me. "And who's that over there?"

"Great. Guess I'm still too much of a 'new guy' to have him recognize me on voice alone." I muttered quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear. Lucky for me, he was way too excited, so he didn't.

"That's Icarax, Kel." Ether explained, giving me a quick glance. Was it me, or did she try to tell me to stay calm? She turned back to Kel. "Anyway, so you too, I see."

"Yeah." He said, still grinning. "I'm here as well, like you can see. Ain't it awesome? I have four jet rockets, blade-shield and an uber cool blaster." He took us in from head to toe. "Though, I have to say, I thought you guys had better taste than insects."

"Blame the Occuria." I snorted, scurrying closer on my four limbs. "This is their idea of 'fun' and 'amusing'."

"So I heard." Kel shrugged. "I did have a little chat with Gerun. Nice fellow. Said he was the one to gimme all these cool upgrades. Also informed me of something called 'keystones'. Said I'd need those if we all wanted to go home."

"He told us the same." Munchin said. His face brightened. "But hey, now that there are four of us, we'll find these keystones even faster! We'll be home in no time!"

Kel did a step back. "Go home?" He repeated slowly. He was no longer grinning. "Now why would you want that? We've got all these cool powers and equipment here!"

"Correction." Ether interrupted him. "You do. We don't. I don't know if you noticed, but we've been made insects by Gerun. And personally, I'm not fond of feeding by holding things between my mandibles and watch right in front of my eyes how I suck things dry. So yeah, we want to go home fast, and we'll need the keystones to do so."

"But I don't want to go home." Kel retorted. "Not yet at least. I want to live like this for a while. You guys will just have to wait finding those keystones until I'm done with this life. Gerun told me that if one goes home, all of us will go home. So yeah, just wait a bit."

I hissed in irritation, approaching Kel slowly. "Not a chance Kel. I'm sick of walking around on four limbs and sucking things dry like a leech. I'm not going to keep living like this just because a great fanfic writer wants to zoom over a swamp laughing like an idiot."

Kel sighed. "Too bad. I don't want to go back yet. I'm finally in Ivalice for real and I'm not gonna let two friends of mine and a fan force me to go back home."

"So you're against us?!" Ether shouted, dumbfounded.

"You left me no choice." Kel shrugged, even as he raised his blaster and pointed it at her. "I see you carry a keystone with you, Ether. Give it."

--

Ouch! Turns out Kel is our enemy in this weird little adventure… Ha, bet you didn't expect that! :p Now the game really gets started. Kel and Friends vs. Icarax and Friends. Who will collect the keystones first?

Here's an image of Kel (and yes Daughter of Ether, he has been LEGO-fied as well :p )

www majhost com/gallery/Elpizo/SpiritsOfTheMist/kel png

Again, just put a dot . where the spaces are.

--

Next chapter: showdown in the swamp! Kel clashes with us for the first time as we battle for possession of Ether's keystone!

PS: Actually Daughter of Ether, I didn't get Kel's permission to use him in this. I sent him a PM, sure, but he didn't answer. / He never seems to answer me these days. Oh well. He had his chance to say "No, I don't wanna be in this!" :p