Disclaimer: I am so not Smeyer. It's not even funny. Anything or anyone you don't recognize is mine.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who have reviewed. I appreciate your feedback more than I can possibly say.

Chapter Three

The morning after James lost his temper with me for the first time, I got very little rest. I finally managed to doze off in the last hour or two before my alarm clock went off, telling me it was time to begin a new day. Exhausted, I pulled myself out of bed and walked over to my closet, slowing stripping off my pajamas and starting to put on my clothes. Just as I was removing my pajama top, I heard a clicking sound coming from outside my window. Without even having to look, I knew what it was that had made the sound. A camera. Nothing else could have made a sound quite like that. As much as it horrified me to admit it, even to myself, I knew that someone had just climbed up the tree in our yard gotten level with my bedroom window and snapped a picture of me while I was getting dressed. I had left my window cracked the night before because sometimes the outdoor air was a comfort to me. The crack in the window had betrayed the person photographing me. I quickly covered my chest with my sweater and turned around as quickly as I possibly could. I was too late. Whoever had been looking in on me was gone, probably with a picture of my naked body on his camera. I moaned aloud. Only God knew what he would use that picture for. Unfortunately, I was soon to find out. I had heard other girls in my class talk about people like this unknown photographer they called them Peeping Toms. I had always heard that Peeping Toms only tried to spy on really attractive girls. Although the idea that he was taking pictures of my body without consent was utterly disgusting, I also got a small amount of satisfaction that a Peeping Tom had gone well out of his way to see my body. Perhaps James wasn't just being kind, maybe I really was attractive. I glanced at myself in the mirror and my face looked back at me, average and plain. I shook my head and decided that the Peeping Tom must be desperate, crazy, or both to want to look at me over Jessica or any of the other pretty girls in my class. I finished dressing and went downstairs.

When I reached the kitchen, I found my father sitting there reading the paper. "Good Morning Dad." I said, attempting to sound cheery but I heard my voice fall flat. I couldn't push the Peeping Tom from my mind. Who was he? Why had he wanted pictures of me? And more importantly, what would he do with his pictures of me? I shuddered as I considered the possibilities. Then, to top it all off, I was still worried about James's anger with me. I had also contemplated the fact that Edward Masen had almost glared at me the night before. All of these troubling things were floating around in my head and making it difficult to sound happy, even for my father.

Charlie was able to catch the note of dismay in my tone. "What's up, Bells?" he asked, "Everything okay?"

For a split second, I considered telling Charlie about the Peeping Tom. He was a policeman, he might even catch the guy. I quickly decided against telling me, however. I had a feeling that, if I told Charlie someone was spying on me, he would become even more overprotective than already was. I loved Charlie, but he was always overly worried about me. Yes, I was a bit clumsy and yes, occasionally I made rash decisions, but I was far more independent that he gave me credit for. I made a mental note that, if I got a repeat visit from the Peeping Tom, I would tell Charlie. I was pretty certain I would get no such repeat visit, though. I was planning on drawing my curtains over my windows every night from then on. My days of barely cracking my window open at night were over. "I'm fine." I assured Charlie, hoping my tone sounded believable.

Charlie gave me a concerned look. "All right, Bells." He said, "But remember, I'm here if you ever, you know, wanna talk about anything."

My father's words nearly made me laugh aloud. I realized with a start that his offer to be there for me, to talk to me, was exactly like the offer I had made James not even twenty-four hours earlier. I smiled at Charlie. We were so alike in so many ways, ways I didn't even think about sometimes. "Thanks Dad." I said.

Charlie returned my grin. "Anytime kid." He replied, "Anytime."

Within thirty minutes of climbing out of bed, I was pulling out of the driveway in my old truck. I loved my truck and I didn't really care what anyone else thought about it. I knew that people sometimes thought it looked silly, especially when it was compared to some of the other cars people drove to school, namely Edward Masen's Volvo and Margret Tilly's convertible. My truck was wasn't the faster car around but I loved it anyway. It suited me better than any new car would have. My day at school was normal by school standards. Jessica and Angela were scheming up ways to help Jessica get Edward Masen's attention. It was hard for me to believe that, a mere few weeks earlier, I would have been as engrossed in scheming as they were. I still found Edward Masen attractive, but he wasn't as attractive to me as James was at that time. James made me feel special, Edward had done little more than ignore me even though we had known one another for months now. I got through the school day and returned home, tired and bored. I completed my homework as quickly as I could and then, I headed for the shower to wash the day off of me. As the warm water hit my body, I felt a kind of relief wash over me and I relaxed. No one had mentioned the Peeping Tom all day. Obviously, he had yet to show them to anyone. Maybe he had just taken the pictures to amuse himself, maybe he would never show them to anyone. As it turned out, those pictures were going to turn up when I least expected it. I would one day come face to face with my Peeping Tom. At that time, though, I was sure I had gotten away clean.

On Friday afternoon at about five, I decided to call James and see what he was doing. He had promised to take me to get ice cream this weekend, just so we could talk and be together. I also believed it was his way of apologizing for the way he had behaved Thursday afternoon. When I got a hold of him on the phone, he sounded happy, thrilled even, to hear from me. His happy tone of voice nearly caused me to shake with happiness. Although I knew it was wrong of me, I had half expected to get on the phone and start yelling at me again. His kindness reassured me and I began to think that James had just been having a bad day the previous day. That would make sense, I told myself. Everyone has bad days. I was certainly willing to forgive James for being short with me. After all, it had only happened once. That evening, I slept very well, dreaming of James and a life we might someday share with one another.

The next afternoon, James was late and I was getting anxious. He had promised to pick me up and take me for ice cream at two o'clock and it was nearly three. As much as I hated to think it, I was starting to believe that James had forgotten about me. But how could he have done that? I had spoken to him the day before. It was just so unlike James to be late for anything. He was a lawyer for God's sake. He knew how to be punctual. I had always thought he cared about me. Surely he wouldn't be late to take me out. I paced around my bedroom incessantly, gazing out of the window every few seconds to see if he had arrived or not. At last, after nearly an hour of pacing, I heard the engine of his car pulling into my driveway. I had originally intended to seem cross with him. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind without showing him just how much he had worried me by being late. Unfortunately, James's arrival at my home chased away any hopes I might have had of being cold toward him. His presence caused me to become as excited and giddy and a young child at Christmas time. I rushed down the stairs and was there to greet him the second he knocked.

"Bella!" he exclaimed fondly as I opened the door, taking me into his arms. "It's great to see you. Let's go get something to eat, shall we?"

"Of course." I said, not missing a beat. He seemed to happy to see me and I didn't want to make him angry by asking what had caused him to be so late on a Saturday afternoon. Besides, at eighteen, I would have thought it was irrelevant where James had been and what he had been doing so long as he wasn't upset with me. "Let's go."

He smiled at me and I followed him out of the house and into his car. We drove off of my street but, instead of turning in the direction of the ice cream parlor, James turned the car in the opposite direction. The second he turned the car to the left instead of the right, I knew James wasn't after ice cream. I had a feeling I knew exactly what he wanted. The sad part was, I kind of wanted it as well. Still, though, I had to ask. "We're not going for ice cream, are we?"

James took his right hand off the wheel for a split second and squeezed my hand in his. "How very observant of you, Bella." He shot me a lopsided grin, which I was quick to return. All the same, I was unable to hide my uneasiness. I was a virgin. I had never done anything more than kiss a boy on his lips. I wasn't certain if I was ready for what James might do to me. As if sensing my uneasiness, James brought my hand to his lips and whispered the words I had been longing to hear almost from the moment I had first gazed into James's eyes, long before I guessed he had had other motives all along. "I love you, Bella, and I would never, ever do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?"

"J..James." I stuttered. I didn't know what to say. At that moment in my life, I believed every word he had just uttered. It was the first time he had told me he loved me. To this day, I have not forgotten how that made me feel. His words were all it took to convince me that whatever James wanted to do to me could not possibly me bad. Aside from that, I was completely convinced I loved him and that, in love, there was no wrong.

James ended up pulling the car over on the edge of the wilderness near an extremely beautiful creek. It was one of the most glorious places I had ever seen. The late afternoon sunlight shone through the trees and for once, there were very few clouds. The weather while not warm was more than tolerable. I still remember the details of that afternoon with James in the wilderness with such clarity that the events that took place in it could have happened yesterday. But, I will spare you from having to know those details. They are still a very private subject and I would prefer not to share them with anyone, not even those I trust most. I will say though that Saturday in early October while the sun was rapidly setting, I lost the remaining strands of my innocence. At the time, I thought little about it. Soon, it would be all I would think about. James became my lover that evening and our journey together was only going to become rockier from that night foward.

AN- Yes, the rough part is to come, I'm afraid. The hard core abuse is coming before too long. Things get rough. Writing this actually is somewhat emotional for me because I have a friend who made many of the same mistakes Bella is making here and had the same mentality about it that Bella does. Oh, I have one thing to say. I may not be able to update tomorrow because my schedule is looking super hectic. I will try but I can't promise. If I don't get something out tomorrow, I promise you I will something out Thursday. I'm not as busy then. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. Bless you.