AN: Hey so I am sooo sorry about the long wait. But I pretty much love this chapter!! Please read and review. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Don't own ANYTHING!!!
Chapter 6
Was it the truth?
He was losing who he had once been. He was so lost in his thoughts that he also missed the whispered words from this stranger.
Sam sat there sobbing his heart out for the loss of Dean and was startled when he felt someone take a hold of him. His instincts as a hunter and years of training demanded that he fight. The tears continued to run down his cheeks but he just didn't see the point in fighting when he had nothing left to fight for. He continued to weakly thrash and try to get away until he finally registered the familiar words coming from a familiar voice.
"Sammy, stop it's me, Dean. Please Sammy, I'm here."
As these words finally registered, Sam gradually slowed his movements and looked up through a barrier of tears. As he focused, he felt the familiarity of the hold he was in, and recognized the faint smell that was Dean. Sure enough he saw Dean staring down at him as he stared upwards. There was more concern and worry in his big brother's eyes than he had seen in a long time. He hated the look because he knew he was causing it.
Slowly in a sense of awe Sam reached his hand up and grabbed a hold of Dean's amulet, feeling the solidness of it, knowing that his brother wasn't a hallucination. As he held the amulet he started to cry again, though this time it was in relief. His brother was here, supporting him and not running in the other direction. It gave him some sense of relief and hope. He allowed himself to be held tightly by Dean as he himself held on for dear life. Sam felt that Dean's presence was a blessing and he decided not to question it, at least not right away.
After a while longer of sitting in Dean's arms on the bathroom floor, he was able to reduce his tears to a slow trickle. He was enjoying the moment between him and his brother and wanted it to last forever. Moments like this were rare for them, with Dean not doing "chick-flick" moments and Sam always wearing his heart on his sleeve, it made him feel good that for a while it was just Dean and him. Life had a way of hating him though and sooner or later reality would come crashing back down on his shoulders. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Dean spoke.
"Hey kiddo, you think you can get up or do you want some help?"
Sam until that moment, had forgotten about his leg, but at the reminder the pain suddenly decided to return with a vengeance. He knew he wouldn't be able to make it very far on his own, so he reached his hand up to Dean. As they walked Dean kept up a constant chain of encouragements.
"Almost there buddy, you're doing well, it's just a few more steps to go. Here I'll help you lay down then we can eat okay?"
Once Sam was settled all he could do was nod his head in agreement, to tired for words. He sat and watched as Dean went over and gathered the breakfast from where he could only assume Dean had dropped it in his haste to get to him. To his surprise Dean returned to the bed Sam was on and also sat down to eat. He was grateful that Dean had chosen to sit next to him, it is what he wanted, even if he didn't know it.
He was eating his fruit salad and drinking his orange juice while thinking back over the previous day and night. He couldn't understand why Dean had come back. This triggered him to remember the conversation he had with Alastair, and he wondered. What if he had been telling the truth, what if Dean really was back? Where would that put there relationship, did they even still have one?
So many questions swirling around in his brain were beginning to give him a headache. Before he knew it he was done with his breakfast. He couldn't help but look over and study Dean. He had heard the reassuring words and felt the strong arms that held him and yet he was still in slight disbelief and shock. Maybe, just maybe, Dean was really back. That thought gave him enough hope to want to beat Alistair.
DW*DW*DW*DW*DW*DW*DW*DW*DW*DW*DW
"Oh god Sammy, what happened?"
Dean watched as Sam lay curled into a ball, and sobbed. The enormously tall frame of his little brother was so much smaller than he could have imagined. He didn't know how in the world his kid brother had managed to make himself so little looking, but he knew it couldn't be good. No one curled themselves into a ball and sobbed, especially when that someone was Sam.
He felt his heart clench, the feeling of helplessness making him desperate to do something. As his big brother instincts kicked in he just grabbed Sam, without thinking. That was a bad move on his part. Almost immediately Sam began to thrash and try to get away, even in his state of mind the years of training demanded he at least try and fight. He knew that Sam could easily knock him on his ass, but the poor kid was so out of it, so broken that he didn't even register it wasn't an assailant holding him, but his own brother.
"Sammy, stop it's me, Dean. Please Sammy, I'm here."
Dean was on the verge of crying himself throughout his talking. Finally though, Sam started to calm down and was able to recognize him. He maneuvered Sam into his lap like he used to do when they were younger and kept a firm hold. He was afraid of what would happen if he let go. He looked down and watched as Sam slowly and carefully put his hand up to Dean's amulet and held on as tears once again started to fall. Dean's heart broke as he saw just how deep Sam's wounds were, but all he could do was hold on tighter. The kind of emotional damage that Sam was going through didn't happen over night. The physical anguish that was so apparent on his baby brother's face made his own heart break a little more. He could absolutely nothing, at this point except hold onto Sam for all he was worth.
As Dean sat there cradling and calming his broken little brother in his arms, all he could think about was what had happened while he was gone. While he was down in the pit something had taken a hold of Sam, in all the ways possible, and completely broken him. Physically he was holding Sam, but emotionally and mentally, he knew, at least right now, Sam was gone. What had, in four months, broken his little brother so badly that he might be unfixable? Dean didn't know, but was determined to do his best to glue Sam back together, no matter how many chick-flick moments and reassuring words it took.
"I'm back now Sammy and I'll never let you go again. I'll make it better now." He whispered with tears running down his face. He knew that the chances of Sam actually hearing the whispered words were slim, but it gave him reassurance that maybe he could fix this. If he could fix this, fix Sam, maybe he could fix everything else too.
He was content enough to sit on the floor with his little brother for eternity but he knew that Sam had to be in pain. He waited a couple more minutes until Sam was silent except for the occasional sniffle, till he decided that it was as good a time as ever to get up.
"Hey kiddo, you think you can get up or do you want some help?"
For a moment Sam looked at him confused, until a look of realization followed by pain came over his face. He reached his hand up to him and Dean took it without hesitation. He hauled Sam up and took on most of his weight. He didn't realize until he was actually supporting nearly all of Sam's weight, just how little he weighed. It was almost too easy to carry him and that worried him.
"Almost there buddy, you're doing well, it's just a few more steps to go. Here I'll help you lay down then we can eat okay?" He whispered the words gently, not wanting to spook Sam with talking to loudly.
He watched as Sam nodded from his position on the bed before he went over to the table, where he had placed the bags of breakfast food. He wasn't paying very much attention, and before he could think about it, he was seated back next to Sam on the bed. He somehow knew that at that moment it was what Sam needed, and he acted accordingly. Right now, Sam's needs came before everything else and if Sam wanted him by his side, then he would be.
As he sat there eating his own breakfast, he could only wonder what was going to happen next. He watched as Sam ate his fruit with a look of both confusion and fear on his face. He knew that soon enough the truth would have to be revealed but wasn't sure if he was ready. He was scared of what exactly Sam would reveal to him. Would he blame Dean or would he blame himself? In the situation, Dean would take all the blame without hesitation if that somehow would fix Sam.
Though lost in his thoughts he could still feel Sam's eyes on him, and he looked up. He watched Sam as he seemed to search for the truth. Finally a look of realization came over Sam, and for the first time since Dean had returned there was a spark of hope in his eyes. Maybe, he thought, Sam would come out of this okay.
AN: So did you like it?!?! Tell me what you think. The next chapter is a little harder for me to write, but I hope to have it soon. Also it should have action!!! Yayyy. Anyways, please review....even if it's just one line. :)