A/N: Here's another one I've been working on in my spare time. I just got around to finishing it tonight, so I figured I'd go ahead and post it to see what people think. It's about 20,000 words so it's really not that long, but I'll probably post one part a day or something until it's all here. Unless nobody wants to read any more, in which case, review and let me know whether or not I should actually update this :)

Secondly, before you guys read this and have questions...No, I have absolutely no idea what I was on when this idea popped into my head. I started it forever ago, like maybe a month or something, so I don't remember how I thought of it. I do know that Shrek was somehow involved, but that's all. I don't know. This story does kind of remind me of Shrek, just a little bit. It's set in the same kind of time that Shrek's set in, with the princess theme and all that. But I Spashleytized it, which automatically makes it better. Haha. Just kidding. I love Shrek.

Anyway, no idea how I thought of this, or really what the point of it is, but I do know this: This story is not meant to be taken seriously. At all. In fact, I think it may border on ridiculous. So grab your "sense of humor" caps before you start reading this thing.

Thanks for clicking on my story, by the way :)

Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Ashley Davies. She was sixteen, and lived in the city of Farwell with her sister, Kyla, and her mother Christine. They were a poor family, abandoned by Raife when Ashley and Kyla were very young, and most of Farwell treated them like outcasts. Even though Ashley was older, she had always been considered the lesser daughter, and Kyla was often treated better, leaving Ashley bitter and hateful towards her family. As Kyla and Ashley grew older, another event occurred that put Kyla in the limelight: she fell in love with a prince. When the time came for Kyla to wed the prince and eventual king of the city, Aiden Dennison, however, a problem arose. With a curse cast upon Aiden by the sorcerer, Carmen, turning him into a horse, he and Kyla were unable to wed. Thus, Ashley was sent out to find a way to cure the curse, putting her own life at risk so that her family could marry into royalty and rid themselves of the poverty they had been subjected to for most of their lives. Little did Ashley know, the journey she was forced to embark on was going to change her life forever…

"I told him not to go wandering around too far away from town!" Kyla is screeching as she paces back and forth in front of the fire we have going in our living room, and it's all I can do to keep a straight face while I let her have her freak-out. Christine, our mom, is looking just as anxious as Kyla is, considering Aiden and Kyla were supposed to get married about two weeks from now, and Aiden's family is literally royalty. He's the prince of our city, and back when we were younger, he used to be my best friend. Then his older brother died in a freak accident involving a severely pissed off dragon that needed slaying, which left Aiden next in line for the throne once his father's dead and gone.

Unfortunately, that turned him into nothing but a royal prick, we stopped talking, and now, five years later, he's gone and fallen in love with my younger sister, and my mom cannot wait for Kyla to marry into the Dennison family, considering our family isn't exactly nobility around here. In fact, we're kind of outcasts, because Dad left forever ago and everyone around here knows about it. They also know why Aiden and I always used to insist we'd never end up together, and when you're gay, some people tend to hate you for no reason. What all of those ignorant adults don't know is that I've slept with most of their daughters at least once. Hehe.

Anyway, back to the problem at hand. Aiden's never really been that smart, and according to the messenger that just arrived at our house, scroll in hand…he's gone and wandered off into Carmen's territory, and as punishment, she turned him into a horse. That's all the information we have right now, anyway, but I have a feeling he must've really done something to piss her off.

Carmen's kind of the thorn in everyone's side that nobody has the guts to pull out. She's probably even more powerful than all of the knights in King Dennison's army combined, but luckily, she's more of a troublemaker than a downright treacherous cow or something. If we leave her alone, she doesn't kill us all. Simple as that. And hardly anyone ever tries to go near her.

Excluding Aiden, apparently.

"Can I see him?" Kyla asks desperately, marching back over to the messenger, who jumps a little when she grasps both of his shoulders.

"U-Um…the king is currently having tests ran…t-to see if they can find a way to reverse it. Until then, the w-wedding is to be postponed."

"Preposterous!" Christine exclaims, rising from the chair by the fire and joining Kyla by the door. I'm standing off to the side, glancing from them to the fire. There are two empty chairs beside it, now, and I'm normally the one who's stuck far away or on the floor, so I take the opportunity to take a seat. Face it: when you've got one daughter marrying the prince, and another one who's gay and 'flaunts her body so much she might as well work in a brothel', as my mom likes to say…the one marrying the prince might be the favorite by just a little bit. "We can't postpone the wedding."

"I can't marry a horse, mom!" Kyla whines. I miss the days when she was cool and we used to get along. Before Aiden got interested in Kyla, my sister and I were super close. I could tell her anything. Now she vaguely reminds me of Madison, one of the princesses of our city (no relation to Aiden, though). Do all of them really have to act like spoiled brats?

Then again, when Kyla and Aiden get married, I guess that'll technically make me a princess. Ha. Because that totally sounds like something I could pull off.

"Mrs. Davies!" calls another voice from just outside, and pretty soon another messenger is shoving the first one out of the way as I crane my neck to see exactly who's being addressed. "Not even the king's best wizards can discover an antidote to the spell that was put on Prince Aiden. The only solution is to try and get an answer from the sorceress herself. The knights have already proven to be no match for her, and the king has recommended asking you if there's anyone you could send in to try and get some answers."

"You mean a sacrifice?" Kyla gasps out. She's right. It might as well be a suicide mission.

"We aren't sure how she'll take having someone trespassing on her land again," the second messenger admits, turning to the first. "Go and wait halfway between here and the castle. I'll relay a message to you as soon as I get an answer." The first messenger nods, hurrying away, and the second focuses on Christine again, finishing with, "Normally, we would ask the man of the house to go, but…" There's an awkward pause. "If there's no one you can spare, the king will have to spend time taking extra precautions to make sure an army will get there safely. And not only will this be risky, considering we're not sure how Carmen will receive this army, but the wedding will have to be pushed back by at least another month."

Kyla and Christine both gasp loudly, and I clap my hand to my forehead, already knowing where this is headed. On the bright side, maybe I'll get turned into a bird and I can fly away from this hellhole.

"The wedding must proceed as planned," Christine says firmly, not even bothering to hide how anxious she is to move her lazy self into that big-ass castle at the center of the city. "We will send someone."

"Might I ask who?"

"My elder daughter," Christine replies, stepping to the side so that the messenger can see me sitting by the fire. "She doesn't intend to ever get married or to have kids, and serves no purpose in our family. She will go." I raise my eyes to Kyla's, but her expression is unreadable, and I can't tell if she even cares that I'm now having to put myself in danger to save her wedding.

I don't even pretend to look surprised.

So here I am, just outside the city walls, creeping through the woods, with absolutely zero defenses or weapons other than my fists. And it's not like I'm that good with those, anyway. Aiden and I used to play soldier together so often that I'm pretty good with a staff or a stick if I can get my hands on one, but that's really about it. With this thought in mind, I scoop up the next stick I see lying on the ground, gripping it tightly as a small cottage in the middle of the woods comes into view.

I take a deep breath, then exhale. Things are supposed to be peaceful if I can help it, so I force myself to stop sneaking around and just march right up to the cottage. I've never seen Carmen before, but I've already got a pretty accurate picture in my mind: pale skin, wrinkles everywhere, probably a few moles here and there, and really gross teeth. Should be fun.

I force my hand into the air and prepare to knock, but before I can move anymore, the door swings open, and there's this girl that looks to be about my age standing on the other side and looking at me expectantly. She's not exactly gorgeous or anything, but she is kind of pretty. Maybe I'm at the wrong cottage. "Um…I'm sorry, I thought this-"

"Come in," the girl says abruptly, grabbing my hand and tugging me inside, then closing the door shut behind her. "Ashley Davies, right?"

"How did you know my name?" I'm looking around now, and there are cauldrons and potions and things steaming everywhere and ohshitthisisCarmen.

"I know a lot more than you think I do," she replies cryptically, offering me a cup she's just picked out from the kitchen counter. Carmen actually has a kitchen? "Tea?"

I take a step backwards hastily, already feeling behind me for the doorknob. "N-No, that's okay, I was looking for someone else and I guess I got the wrong place so I better just-"

"You were looking for me," Carmen states just as my hand finds the doorknob. I jiggle it, but it's locked. "You've been sent here for a cure to Prince Aiden's condition."

My hand slips from the doorknob, and I gulp audibly. "Are you going to hurt me?" I ask, deciding to just go ahead and get this over with.

"Of course not," Carmen replies with a half-smile, and then she's stepping towards me again. I back away until my back is pressed up against the wall, but she doesn't stop until she has me pinned and her body is nearly pressed flush against mine. My eyes widen as she trails a finger down my jaw line. "Why would I want to hurt a pretty girl like you?"

"You cursed Aiden," I whisper, and if I'm not mistaken, this girl is actually flirting with me.

She frowns at that, and then pulls away, huffing loudly and crossing her arms. "Because he was an ass. Not only did he have the gall to trespass in my cottage, he presumed to think he could hit on me and get away with it. I meant to turn him into a pig, but he made me so mad that I accidently messed up the incantation a little bit. But I won't hurt you." She gives me another mischievous smile. "Even if you flirt with me a little bit."

"…You're Carmen?" is all I can manage to say, and she grins and does a little spin for me, tilting her head to the side when she's done.

"In the flesh."

"But…but you've been living out here since before I was born! I grew up hearing horror stories about you!"

"Appearance and age are two very different things," she replies, sitting down and taking a sip out of the cup of tea she offered me a second ago. "Anyway, you're here to save your spoiled brat of a sister's marriage, then? I'm supposed to turn that ass back into a prince?"

"…Yes." Right now I'm kind of thinking she's going to make me do a few sexual favors to get Aiden back to the way he used to be. Which is actually looking like a pretty good option at the moment, considering I didn't even know if I was going to make it out of here alive two minutes ago.

"Well…I can't."

"Excuse me?"

Carmen shrugs calmly. "Like I said…I messed up the incantation. I've been doing some research of my own, though…and it appears that the only way to undo the specific spell I put on him is something I'm afraid you won't be able to accomplish. It's a shame, really, considering you're the just perfect girl for the job…"

"What?" I press, knowing she's baiting me, but it's too tempting to ask about it.

"The antidote…you simply have to bring a princess with a completely pure soul to me, and I can brew a potion that will turn Aiden back to normal. The final ingredient I need to add involves extracting the soul of the princess herself."

"But…won't that kill her?" I ask, already formulating a plot to get Madison here just in case the answer's yes.

"Death is complicated," Carmen replies cryptically. "But…I suppose that yes, in accordance with the way your kind sees death…it will kill her." She shrugs. "But I didn't make the rules. It's either you do this, or your sister doesn't get married to Aiden. There's no other cure."

I furrow my eyebrows. "So…I just kidnap some princess out of the castle, and-"

Carmen interrupts me with a laugh. "Oh, no. I said her soul has to be pure, honey. None of those girls fit the bill."

"Then who does?"

"There is only one, as far as I know, and your journey to find her will be long and perilous. You must find her, then bring her back to me, and your task will be completed."

"That sounds way too simple to me."

"Well…there will be some obstacles in your way, as I mentioned…and when you find her, she will be asleep. She's been that way for almost three years now."

"How old is she?" I ask immediately. "How do I wake her up?"

"She's seventeen, same age as you. And how do you think you wake her up? The same way every other sleeping princess in history has been woken up. Kiss her, and she will awaken."

"Okay," I reply, unfazed. So I have to kiss a chick and bring her back here so she can have her soul sucked out. What else is new? "And I'm supposed to go alone?"

"That brings me to our next topic of discussion: you'll need help getting past the many dangers that lie in wait. As you may have noticed, I anticipated your arrival, and have found just the right-"

Something suddenly bursts in through the ceiling, creating a gaping hole, and I jump out of the way quickly as the thing lands beside me. It's a person, I realize, and he's kneeling in front of me with both of his hands pressed against the floor. His hair is blonde, and he's sporting all-black clothes. A sword is sitting in a sheath at his waist.

After a moment of me standing here in stunned silence while Carmen mutters some spell that makes the ceiling fix itself, the boy stands up and leans forward, grabbing my hand and lifting it to his lips. "Milady."

I snatch my hand away quickly, glaring at him, and Carmen explains, "Ashley, this is Glen Carlin. He's trained in martial arts, took ten years of fencing, and has been helping rid the area of thieves and bandits for the past five years of his life. No relation to Spencer Carlin."

"Who's he?" I ask, growing even more confused.

"I just told you, Glen is-"

"No, not him," I correct, gesturing to the boy still standing in front of me. He looks like he's amused by my current state of mind, and I decide I don't really like him. "Who is Spencer Carlin?"

Carmen laughs. "Oh, that's not a he. That's the name of the princess you two will be bringing back here. Her name is Spencer."

"Are you sure she's not a guy?" I ask curiously, and Carmen raises an eyebrow.

"Pretty sure." She clears her throat. "Anyway, I've already taught Glen the route to the castle she's being held in, and for a hefty sum, he's agreed to take you there. Mind you, this is coming out of my personal savings, so you better bring this girl back alive. And you only have two weeks to do it, so you need to get going."

"Why do I have to go?" I complain. "Why can't Glen just do it alone, or why don't you just poof yourself there, and-?"

"I don't know what people have told you about my abilities, but that certainly isn't one of them. As far as why you must go…you may find out in due time, but it is not my place to tell you. Good luck, Ashley Davies."

"Gone to find cure. Will be back in two weeks with a way to turn Aiden back. –Ash" is the note I have Glen sneak into my house and leave in the middle of the night, and he also manages to steal a knapsack and plenty of food. I'd have done it myself, but he's much quicker and a lot stealthier, and I didn't want to risk getting caught.

"So…what, do you, like, not have parents or something?" I ask him as we wind through a path in the forest with only the stars to guide us. I have to admit, it's creepy out here, but almost anything is better than going back to the city. I'm going to try and think of this whole thing as a little vacation.

"They died when I was younger," he tells me, ducking a little to avoid a tree branch hanging over our path. "I've been raised by some of the world's best martial artists ever since I was three years old." He glances over at me. "Anyway…what about you? I noticed you didn't seem too freaked out about the fact that you're going to have to kiss a girl. You into that kind of thing?"

Well, whadd'ya know? Looks like Glen's actually more of a normal teenage guy than I originally thought. "Does that bug you?"

"Nah. I'm getting paid for this whether I score with you or not."

"You're hilarious," I deadpan, and Glen throws an arm out in front of me suddenly, forcing me to stop. We both fall silent, and I listen carefully for any sounds he might've been hearing. There's nothing, though, as far as I can tell.

"We need to find a clearing, and soon. We can't sleep here," Glen tells me, pausing to listen for another moment, and this time, I hear it. A soft rustling noise from somewhere to the right of our path. Okay, now I'm a little scared.

Glen's tugged on my hand a second later, and then we're racing down the pathway, and when I hear that something's chasing us, I'm convinced I'm going to die. But at least it's not at the hands of some sorceress masquerading as a teenage girl.

A large, burly-looking shadow darts out of the woods from beside us without warning, tackling Glen, and a second later, I'm pinned to the ground by another shadow. The clouds shift out from in front of the moon, casting light down to the forest, and I realize that the shadow is a person wearing a mask, and the cold thing against my throat right now is definitely a knife. Shit. I'm gonna die, and Kyla's gonna marry a horse, and my mom's gonna kill me. Wait. She won't be able to kill me once I'm already dead.

"What's in the knapsack?" the guy above me growls in my ear, gesturing towards where it's lying a few feet away on the ground. Glen must've dropped it when he was knocked over. I can hear grunting and shuffling coming from my left, though, so it looks like he's putting up a fight.

"Just food," I breathe out quickly, shutting my eyes and hoping he won't be above me when I open them.

The weight I felt above me is suddenly gone, and I sit up quickly as my eyes shoot open.

The burly guys is on the ground about twenty feet away from me, groaning and clutching at his stomach, and Glen's got my attacker pinned to a tree with one hand. The other hand is busy holding a sword to his throat. "If I see you again, I'll kill you. Got it?" he snaps, and the man nods quickly, slumping to the ground when Glen lets go of him. I take another quick look at the big guy on the ground, and hurry over to my knapsack and pick it up off of the ground.

Glen's busy putting his sword back into its sheath, and when we exchange looks briefly, I can see him wink at me in the moonlight.

Okay, maybe having Glen around won't be too bad.