A/N: Since this whole story is already finished, fortunately it won't have any effect on my updates for ATT. Also, I split this up mentally already and it should turn out to have six chapters total. So like I said, it's not too long of a story. Just short and mostly light-hearted :)

It takes two more nights and three more days to even get to the point where we can see the castle, but when we do spot it, I'm counting all the shit we're going to have to go through to get to it. First, there's a huge cliff we have to find our way down, then another cliff with a bridge that looks like it's got lava below it, a drawbridge we're going to have to figure out how to get around, and then a really really tall tower that it looks like we're going to have to climb to the top of.

"So that's where she is," I state, pointing to the top of said tower, and Glen nods next to me.

"Yup."

Despite my initial judgment of him, after three straight days of traveling with him, I'm beginning to think Glen actually isn't so bad. We're both pretty easygoing, so there isn't a lot of arguing, sleeping near each other isn't too awkward because he knows I'm gay and at least sort of respects that, which is something I'm not used to. Plus, with him around, I know I'm safe if anyone else attacks us like those two guys did on our first night of traveling.

On the downside, more people means more food consumed, and with Spencer traveling with us, we're going to start running out pretty soon. All the more reason to get back faster, I suppose.

"Alright, so how are we getting down this thing?" I ask, examining the steep drop beneath us, and although Glen could probably use the footholds and crevices to make it down with ease, I'm not a big rock-climber or cliff-scaler, and would most likely fall and die within my first two minutes of trying.

"Get on my back," he suggests.

"Hell no."

Glen frowns, then looks around for a moment like he's hoping something will give him an idea. "Here." He walks over to a nearby tree and starts tugging at the vine wrapped around it, unraveling it to a certain point and then cutting it with his sword. Next, he ties one end around the tree, and then throws the other end over the edge of the cliff. It touches the bottom, and Glen tugs on the vine for a moment, making sure it'll hold. "Alright, just use this, then. We can worry about getting back up later."

"You go first," I order, because I do not want to be sliding down that vine when it snaps in half. Sorry, Glen.

He shrugs, then grabs hold of the vine and slips over the edge easily, then pushes off of the side of the cliff a few times, letting the vine slip through his hands each time. Within two minutes, he's down at the bottom, waving up to me. "Come on, Ash! Your turn!"

Fuck.

Okay. Deep breaths.

I squeeze the vine until my knuckles are white, and then back up until I'm nearly over the edge of the cliff. I just won't look down. It's fine. Really.

I squeeze my eyes shut and just end up shimmying down the vine until my knees touch the ground, and when I open my eyes, I'm at the bottom of the cliff, and Glen is shaking his head at me with this knowing smile on his face.

"See? Told you it would work. Now we just have to get across this."

Oh, right. The fiery cliff with the shaky bridge made up of rotted wooden planks.

Glen makes me go first this time, but stays close the whole time in case something happens, and unfortunately, I do chance a look down, and end up feeling like I'm going to puke. The bridge is shaking a lot more than I'm comfortable with, and when a plank snaps beneath my foot, I've had enough.

"Okay, no. I already got attacked by bandits and had to sleep on the ground for three nights and walk all during the day and then scale that huge cliff and my sister is so not fucking worth all of this."

"Yeah, well it's my job to get you and Spencer back to Carmen safely, so like it or not, you're going." He pushes me forward lightly, and I gulp, then take another tentative step forward. A second plank snaps.

"Nuh uh, I'm seriously not-"

Glen gives me a sharp shove forward, and I stumble, cracking a few more planks beneath my feet, but then suddenly I'm on the other side, and Glen is stepping off of the bridge behind me.

"Alright?" he asks.

"Yeah," I squeak out, turning toward the castle, which is now close enough that's it's casting a shadow over the both of us and I can see the drawbridge about fifty feet away.

"Do you think there's a dragon inside? I've always wanted to slay one," Glen tells me, marching over to the drawbridge and withdrawing his sword. He slices the ropes holding the drawbridge up, and it crashes to the floor with a sound that ensures that if there is a dragon, it knows we're here. Luckily, there is no dragon.

There are about a thousand bats, though. And I do not like bats.

"Okay, seriously. I'm waiting out here. You go get her."

"You have to do the kissing," Glen insists, grabbing my arm and tugging me forward, into a room full of pissed off bats that are screeching and flapping their nasty wings and God I want to go home. Kyla can marry a horse for all I care, and it's not like I want to be royalty, anyway.

"My lips are chapped. You do it," I lie, and Glen pauses, examining my lips with furrowed eyebrows.

"They look fine to me. Now come on. We go up, you kiss this girl, and we travel back the way we came with her. No big deal."

"Fine," I groan out, but then something hard and flappy and black slams into my back, lets out a screech, and then zooms away, and I'm standing here with my eye twitching and my mouth open in shock. "It touched me!" I squeal out, spinning around to make sure there aren't any more bats heading my way.

"Look, the stairs are right over there," Glen points out, and I follow his finger to a large spiral staircase that looks like it'll take forever to climb. "The sooner we get up there, the sooner we can get out of this room, so let's go."

I'm not a big fan of being attacked by bats from all sides, so I let him drag me to the stairs, and we start the long trek to Spencer's room.

"According to what Carmen told me before you came along," Glen's telling me as we climb, "she's going to be lying on a bed up there, asleep, and only a kiss from her true love will wake her up."

"True love?" I repeat, unfazed. "Well, all this was for nothing, then, buddy, because I'm nobody's true love. And even if I was, that would make her my true love, so why would I bring her back and have her killed?"

"That's the part I was supposed to wait to tell you about," Glen admits. "Protection isn't the only reason Carmen wanted me to go with you. She said that there will come a time where you refuse to take the girl to her, in which case, I'll have to finish the job."

"That's bullshit," I insist. "I don't do love. Let's just grab this chick and go so that my sister can get married." I storm up the stairs past Glen, mumbling stuff about how true love is a load of crap and how this girl better be pretty if I have to kiss her.

It feels like it takes forever, but probably around ten minutes later, we're at the top of the stairs and there's only a door separating us from Spencer. Glen tries the doorknob. It's unlocked.

"Okay. Do your thing…" he insists, pushing it open.

"You're not going with me?" I ask, peeking into the room. I can see the whole bed, but there's this curtain hanging all around it that's blocking Spencer from view.

"Nope."

I sigh, then step inside the room, trying not to seem too nervous. It's not every day you kiss a princess, though. Sure, I've slept with a couple, but to just kiss one is kind of different.

Once I'm by the bed, I reach forward and clutch the curtain with my fist, sliding it out of the way so I can get my first look at the girl who's going to die for a stupid prince that got himself turned into a horse.

She's really pretty. And not in that trashy way that a lot of girls back at home are. Just a really cute and innocent type of pretty. She has blonde hair, and I'm guessing her eyes are blue, though I can't tell because they're closed, obviously. What surprises me the most, though, is that she's not wearing some fancy dress or something. Her outfit's hardly any different from mine, except for the fact that hers is more modest.

Okay. Right. Kiss her and then take her back to die. Simple.

"Done yet?" Glen asks, peeking in while I'm still looking at her.

"Give me a sec," I snap at him, and he grins sheepishly before ducking back outside. I turn back to Spencer, then crack my knuckles experimentally, wiggling my fingers a little bit before I lean over and press my hands to the mattress.

And now I'm wondering how I should do this. I can just lean over and give her a quick peck, or will that not be enough? Or I can climb on top of her and try to make out with her once she wakes up, but that might be a bit much, especially if she's straight. Then again, I'm apparently her true love, so she can't be all that straight, can she?

Anyway, I should really just go ahead and do this.

"Okay," I breathe out, basically just talking to myself here. I spot her hand lying palm-down on the bed, and poke it with my finger experimentally, to see if she's going to wake up. Nope. Her skin does feel smooth, though.

I retract my hand from hers, then reach forward hesitantly until I'm cupping her cheek, sliding myself halfway onto the bed with my leg tucked under me, then leaning over so my face is just above hers. If she wakes up right now…awkward.

I can't take my eyes off of her lips once we're this close. They're pink and smooth-looking and they don't look all bitten and not smooth like mine probably do. They really need to invent something to fix that. Her breathing's even and she's doing it through her mouth so the occasional breath is tickling my face.

Anyway…I need to stop staring. It's just a kiss, after all.

So I lean forward, keeping my eyes locked onto her closed ones until I feel like I just have to close mine too. The second our lips touch, a small little tingling feeling travels from my lips all the way to my toes, and I try to ignore it even though the feeling is nagging at the back of my subconscious like it doesn't want to go away. As soon as the it's passed, though, the lips that are still currently attached to mine slowly come to life, kissing me back hesitantly like Spencer expected to be woken up this way but isn't sure what to do now that it's happened.

I open my eyes even as we're kinda sorta making out but without tongue, and can't help grinning against her lips when I see that Spencer's eyes are still closed. Ha. This is kind of entertaining. She's kissing a girl and she doesn't even know it.

Figuring I might as well live this up while I've got the chance to kiss a pretty girl, I shift a little closer to her and let my tongue slip into her mouth, gently rubbing hers until she lets out a barely audible moan, and raises a hand to cup my cheek and pull me closer.

Okay, I thought this was supposed to be the girl with the pure soul or whatever. She doesn't seem that innocent to me. Who makes out with someone they haven't even seen yet, and with tongue?

Almost as if this thought is occurring to her, too, her breath hitches with surprise and she pushes me away lightly, keeping her eyes closed. "I'm sorry, that was-"

She cuts herself off with a gasp, because she's opened her eyes now and gotten a good look at me, then promptly scrambles away from me and falls off of the bed with a loud squeal.

"You're a girl!" I hear her yell, but it's muffled, and I think that might be because her face is pressed into the floor.

"Yup," I tell her easily, peeking over the edge of the bed just as Spencer gets to her feet. She looks a bit unsteady for a moment, and I think it's because she's not used to walking. She wasn't used to kissing, though, either, but she still did a good job. I decide now's not the best time to tell her this.

"But…but this isn't right!" she tells me, gesturing wildly as she begins the little mini-freakout I've seen dozens of girls go through when they first realize they're supposed to be straight but have just made out with a girl. "The only thing that can wake me up is a kiss from my true love!"

I snort, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms. "Sorry, princess, but I'm not your true love. And even if I was…I don't do relationships."

"You're a girl!" she repeats incredulously.

"…Yeah. Thanks for noticing."

"No no no," Spencer mumbles to herself, beginning to pace back and forth. She looks like she's getting the hang of the whole walking thing. "This isn't right, this cannot be right…"

"Um, look…could you maybe discuss this with yourself on our way out of here? We have somewhere to be."

Well, the good news is: she isn't very likeable. So right about now, I'm not feeling too bad about luring her to her doom. It's probably best not to dwell on that, though.

"Where? Are you taking me somewhere?" She looks over at me hopefully. "Are you taking me to a place with a handsome prince awaiting my arrival? Maybe you're not my true love, and you're just meant to take me to him."

"Uh…no. There's no prince. Actually…" I debate with myself about how I'm going to go about telling her this. "See, here's the thing. I was sent here to find you after this evil girl named Carmen turned my sister's fiancé, who's a prince, into a horse. They're getting married in about a week and a half, and Carmen needs…a lock of your hair…to make the antidote to the horse spell. So I have to get you back to Carmen before the wedding so Aiden can get turned back into a human and he can marry my sister as planned."

"Well, I don't have to go with you, then. I can just give you some of my hair, and then-"

"And then stay up here and rot?" I suggest, raising an eyebrow. "Besides, Carmen says the hair has to be added fresh. Which means you have to go with us."

Spencer crosses her arms, eyeing me for a second with a frown. "…A prince?" she finally asks.

"Don't get any ideas," I warn. "He and my sister are totally in love. It's sickening."

"And what about you?" she asks me curiously. "Have you ever been in love?"

"Not even close," I tell her, shrugging nonchalantly. "And definitely not with any dumb prince."

"…So you're doing all of this just for your sister?"

"And my mom. She's been wanting in on the royal family ever since I was born. Everyone thought I was going to marry 'Prince Aiden', but they were all sadly mistaken."

"Why?"

I blink at her. "I kissed you, didn't I?"

"Oh," Spencer replies, giving me a significant look that tells me she understands what I mean. Isn't that convenient, though. Her supposed 'true love' just happens to be gay. I can almost see the cogs turning in her head, and I'm not really liking where her train of thought seems to be going.

"Anyway," I tell her quickly, changing the subject. "There's someone you should meet. He's just outside of here, and he's our protection on the way to Carmen's." I pause. "That is, if you're okay to go."

Spencer's silent for a moment, but then she sighs, brushing past me to head for the door. "Well, if you really are my true love -which I suppose you must be, although it's rather unexpected and I've never been into…well, girls before- then I guess I should help you help your sister. And just think…pretty soon, you'll be royalty, too!"

"Ugh. No."

"What's wrong with being a princess?" Spencer asks innocently.

"Because it's just been working out so well for you so far," I deadpan, pointing towards the bed suggestively, and she glares at me.

"This was only for my protection."

"From what?"

"Oh, the usual. Kidnappers, thieves…they're all the same. They all wanted to ransom me back to my aunt and uncle to make themselves rich."

"Aunt and uncle?"

"My parents died when I was little." She shrugs. "I was just a baby, so I never really knew them, and my aunt and uncle became king and queen of our city afterwards."

"Oh. I'm…sorry?"

"Don't bother. Anyway, let me meet our protection."

"Yes, ma'am," I mumble under my breath, leading her out of the room. Glen is leaning over the railing, staring down at the bats many many floors below us, but he straightens up and greets Spencer with a smile when he sees us.

"Glen Carlin at your service," he says, bowing, and Spencer looks surprised.

"Carlin?"

"Carmen already told us there's no relation," I assure her, though I have to admit that the blonde hair and blue eyes they're both sporting does make them look similar.

"I'm Spencer," she tells him, offering her hand, and to my amusement, he bends over and kisses it, just like he did mine. One thing I've learned about Glen is that he can go from one end to the other on the Gentleman Spectrum instantly, so you have to be prepared for it.

"It's a pleasure to serve you, milady. But make haste; we must descend these stairs if we're going to get you out of here."

"Um…okay…" Spencer replies shyly, blushing a little, and she looks over at me with this "OMG he's so hot" expression on her face. Then she remembers that I'm gay and supposedly her true love, and she looks away, embarrassed. Besides, Glen totally isn't even hot.

"Ready to go?" he asks, offering his hand to Spencer, but then retracting it suddenly, looking unsure of himself. "Ashley should probably be the one to help you down, since you two are all…you know."

See? Two totally different ends of the spectrum.

"Whatever," I say, grabbing Spencer's hand and ignoring the tingles, proceeding to pull her down several flights of stairs. She's complaining for most of the trip down about how her feet hurt and her legs ache, and I've just decided to forget about my neutral stance on killing her. Hell, bring on the soul-sucking, Carmen. Please.

And then she sees the bats.

I'm expecting to her freak out and scream like some stereotypical prissy princess like Madison would (or like I did, but whatever), but she just looks around in awe as these creepy things fly around her. "Wow…"

"They're just bats," I tell her with disgust, but they do seem to kind of be acting differently now that Spencer's in the room. One even flaps on over to Spencer and hangs from her arm upside down, which looks a little painful for Spencer to me, but apparently isn't.

"Aw…they're cute!" she exclaims, brushing a finger across its wing, and I seriously think I might hurl. Glen's watching us from a few feet away, looking like he wants to laugh but refraining from doing it for my sake. This girl is nuts. "I'm gonna call you Mojo."

When we exit the castle and prepare to try and get back across that bridge with the lava beneath it, Princess Spencer has a new pet bat.