"It's starting to hurt again," I complain as night is falling on our second day wandering through the woods, and Spencer offers me the large handful of berries she's carrying. "Not my stomach. The cut," I tell her, aggravated, and she turns back around and continues forward.
"Oh."
Something about her tone of voice makes my heart sink a little bit. "You don't think we're going to find our way out of here, do you?"
"I don't know," she replies without looking at me. "We won't survive much longer if we don't, though."
Great. I got to the princess, survived the cliff and the lava and the bats and the thieves, and now I'm gonna die because Spencer and I got lost in the woods.
A wave of dizziness sweeps through me all of a sudden, and I let out a gasp and quickly grab onto the nearest tree, trying to steady myself. My body feels hot and cold at the same time, almost out of nowhere.
"Ash?" Spencer calls back to me, sounding annoyed, but when she sees that something's wrong with me, she abandons the berries in her hands and hurries back to me, resting a hand on my shoulder while she tries to make eye contact. My eyes are shut tightly, though, and I'm breathing almost too heavily to speak. "Ash, are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" I manage to say, and Spencer sighs, lifting her hand to my forehead. I shiver at the coldness of her skin.
"You have a fever," she tells me. "That means your cut's probably been infected."
"How do you know all of this?" I ask her as she helps me to the ground and begins to unwrap my makeshift bandage for what feels like the hundredth time in the past two days.
"My mom was the best nurse in the city."
"I thought she was the queen."
"She was both. She liked to help people. She left books behind. I read them."
I hiss and pull my arm away from her when Spencer's finger brushes against the skin near my cut, and she sighs, glancing around us quickly before she wraps my arm back up and pulls me to my feet.
"Okay, come on. We have to find a way out of here."
"It's hopeless. We've been wandering for two days," I groan out, finding it way too hard to take a step forward, even with Spencer trying to tug me along.
"No it's not. We'll get out," Spencer says, but I only catch a few words of it, because my eyes are closing and I'm fading fast. "Ash? No, Ash, come on."
"Too tired," I mumble, realizing that I've ended up on the ground again somehow. That's my last thought before I've passed out completely.
"Her name's Ashley, right?"
"Yeah."
I feel a warm hand touch my cheek lightly, then unexpectedly pull away and hit it sharply. "Ow!" I groan, trying to force my eyes to open.
"Wake up, Ashley."
"What the fuck?" I mumble a second later, seriously angry that someone has decided to slap me across the face to wake me up. Even if it was pretty lightly. When I do get my eyes open, I realize that I'm lying in a bed. In a room. In…a house? A warm house. This is nice. "Who are you?" I ask the dark-skinned girl leaning over me. She looks like she's probably only a year or two older than I am. Whoever she is, she slapped me, and I already don't like her.
"My name's Chelsea," she tells me, straightening up and gesturing towards an equally dark-skinned man on the other side of her, who smiles down at me. "And this is Clay, my husband. He works for the city patrol and found you and another girl just outside the woods just a few hours ago. She didn't tell him her name, but she told us yours."
"Is she okay?" I ask, trying to ignore the way my left arm is throbbing painfully. Wherever Spencer and I are, it can't be in Farwell, because I've never seen either of these people before.
"She's sleeping in the other room. All she told us was that you had an infected cut and needed to be taken care of immediately. She passed out just a few seconds after that," Clay informs me, sitting down on the bed. "Chelsea has some medical experience and she got you all fixed up. Your fever's already broken, too."
"Can I go see Spencer?" I question, realizing that Spencer must've practically found a way out of the woods all on her own while having to also support me at the same time. I suppose we're even on the "saving each other's lives" scale, but I still want to thank her and make sure she's okay. In a totally platonic way, of course.
"Spencer?" Clay murmurs, exchanging a significant look with Chelsea, and I'm not quite sure what's going on. "Um…sure. You can go see her. She's just through this door." He helps me up and leads me to the door in question, opening it and then turning back to Chelsea. "I knew I recognized the blonde girl," I swear I hear him whispering as I enter Spencer's room, but I ignore it for the time being, focusing on sitting down beside Spencer's bed and watching her sleep. Chelsea's got her wearing all new clothes, and when I look down at myself, I see that my clothes are clean and new, too. My bandage is even a real bandage, now.
"Spencer…" I whisper, reaching forward and shaking her arm lightly. "Wake up…"
She stirs after a moment, letting her eyes flutter open, and then smiles at me. "You're okay?"
"I'm fine," I tell her. "How are you?"
"Tired," she admits with a sigh. "Dragging you through the woods for two hours can do that to someone."
I'm not really sure how to thank her for that, but luckily, I'm spared from saying anything, because Chelsea comes in a moment later with a question for us.
"If you don't mind me asking, what were you two doing in those woods in the first place?"
"We were heading back to my city when we got ambushed," I explain. "We had nowhere else to go."
"Your city?" she asks.
"Farwell."
Her eyebrows furrow. "That's about four to five days away from here," she informs us, and I frown. So we went in the complete opposite direction of where we were supposed to go. Lucky us. "Anyway, I think it's best if you two at least spent another night here after tonight. We'd be glad to have you, but we only have two beds, so you'll have to share this one."
"That's fine," Spencer says before I can even get out a word about not imposing on anyone, and Chelsea smiles at us, already moving towards the door.
"Alright. It's almost two in the morning, so I'll let you two get some sleep. Goodnight."
"'Night," I mumble, unsure on how I feel about sleeping with Spencer again, and in a bed this time. Chelsea leaves the room, and I slide under the covers next to Spencer, hoping she can't hear how quickly my heart is pounding.
"Farwell?" Spencer finally asks. "You live there?"
"Yeah. You've heard of it?"
"Yup. It's not too far away from where I used to live."
"Hmm. That means we can't be too far away from your home city."
"Yeah." She sounds excited. "Maybe we could go there after Carmen's. I'm probably expected to take over the throne, after all."
"Maybe," I agree lamely.
"Are you feeling better?" she asks me abruptly, and I nod, rolling over so that I'm facing her.
"Are you?"
She smiles. "I'm fine."
"Yeah." I clear my throat. "Alright, well…thanks for saving me."
"You saved me first," she points out, gesturing towards my bandage. "Looks like we both care a little bit more than we thought we did."
"Sure," I offer lamely, not sure how to respond to that. I can't tell if she's just being nice or if this is some elaborate scheme to get me to fall for her. Even though I kind of already have, just a little bit.
"Right. Well…goodnight."
"You too," I reply, rolling over again so that my back is to her and trying not to seem too uncomfortable with her body so close to mine. It's not that she's closer than she was when we slept together before. Things are just…different now, but I'm not sure why.
"…Ash?"
I sigh, then roll over yet again, trying to hide my surprise when she's a lot closer than I expected.
"Y-Yeah?"
"Um…" She bites her lip for a moment, staring into my eyes, then looks away quickly. "Is it bad if…if I kind of maybe like you a little bit?"
She's moving closer, and there are warning bells going off in both my head and my heart. I swallow heavily. "Yes."
"Why?" She stops moving forward suddenly, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I know you already said you don't like me."
"It's not that," I blurt out, wincing inwardly as soon as I've said it.
"It's not? I thought you hated me." She's chewing on her lip again, and I'm not gonna lie…it's kind of adorable.
"I just said that to make you mad."
She looks a little amused at that. "I'm not sure that makes me feel better."
"Yeah, well…" I trail off, forcing a smile, and Spencer surprises me by leaning forward and kissing my forehead for a moment. When she pulls away, she's blushing, and my own cheeks feel like they're on fire, too.
"I guess…the whole thing about you being a girl freaked me out for about the first ten minutes I knew you, but at this point I don't really mind all that much," she admits nervously, looking away from me again. "I mean…I don't know how I feel about the whole gay versus straight thing…but there's just…something about you. I don't know." She moves closer again, and I can't bring myself to pull away. We're staring into each other's eyes, and hers are so blue and sparkly that it's horrifying now to think about seeing them blank and lifeless. "Maybe we are supposed to end up together, you know? Maybe that's why I like you even though we've practically been fighting ever since you rescued me."
"You shouldn't like me," I warn her again, lowering my voice because she's just so close and it'd be weird if I didn't. This whole situation is just scary for me, especially with the invisible force that somehow seems to be pulling me to Spencer. It's unnerving how much I want to kiss her right now even though my mind is screaming no and my heart is thumping wildly because I know this can't happen. It's just like what Glen said Carmen told him would happen: eventually, I won't want to bring Spencer back to be killed. I think now is when that time has come.
"It doesn't matter whether I should or shouldn't. I do."
I feel her hand slip to my hip and tug me closer just a little bit, and my breath hitches when our lower bodies touch.
"I'm new to this, you know…" Spencer continues, keeping our eyes locked this time, "I mean, I've been asleep ever since I was fourteen, after all. But no matter what we've said or done to each other over the past few days, I can't help but want this, want you. And I know I'm probably freaking you out right now, but-"
I can't believe myself right now, but I did it. I kissed her. I'm kissing her. And she's kissing me back.
I can honestly say I've never felt like this before, and I've kissed a lot of people. Spencer's kisses are so different, though. They make butterflies appear in my stomach and sparks dance in my mouth, and little dots flash behind my eyelids. I keep telling myself we shouldn't do this, but God, we really should. It feels too good not to be right.
And then it's over.
Spencer pulls away from me gently, and while my eyes shoot open in surprise, hers flutter open, and when they meet, we're both breathing heavily and somehow our legs have ended up all tangled together, but neither of us is making an effort to move.
"Wow," Spencer finally says quietly, lifting a hand to her lips, and I lick mine, my brain slowly coming back to life again. "Can we do that again?" she asks, laughing nervously in an attempt to break the tension, but I'm busy trying to persuade myself not to do this. I can't just let Carmen's little prophecy come true just like that, right? God, why the hell did I kiss her? I probably just made the biggest mistake of my life. "…Ash?" I'm brought back to Earth when Spencer says my name. "Are you okay?"
"No," I blurt out quickly, sitting up and scrambling out of bed and away from Spencer. She sits up, too, looking alarmed as I add, "I'm gonna go sleep on the couch. I'll see you in the morning."
"Ash, what-…Ashley!"
I pause with my hand on the doorknob and shut my eyes tightly, then take a deep breath and turn around to face her. "What?"
"What's going on?" Spencer asks me, getting out of the bed quickly and moving to stand in front of me. "What's wrong?"
"I told you: we aren't going to work out," I mutter, avoiding her eyes.
"You keep saying that, but you won't even give me a reason why," she hisses, placing a finger under my chin to get me to look up at her. I turn away again, and she grabs my chin this time, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. "I don't understand. What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing. You didn't do anything. It's me; I can't do this, alright?"
"I don't believe you. You kissed me, remember?"
"I shouldn't have."
"But you did." She licks her lips, stepping closer until I'm practically pressed against the door. "And I want you to do it again," she repeats quietly, suddenly way too close, and I force myself to lift my hands to her shoulders and push her away lightly.
"Stop," I murmur, reaching around me for the doorknob, and suddenly, this is a lot like when Carmen cornered me all those days ago, except now I feel much more terrified. "Stop touching me, and…and, I don't know…whatever you're doing to me. Don't even look at me funny."
"You can't run from this," she warns. "You're my true love, remember?"
"I'm not your anything, Spencer," I snap, finding the doorknob a moment later and gripping it tightly. "Look. We'll get to Carmen's, you'll give her that hair, and then you can go off and find a nice prince to marry, and then you won't have to worry about being confused because I'm a girl anyway. You'll be happy, my sister and her husband will happy, and…I'll become royalty anyway, so…whatever." I try to forget that I'm lying to her; that she'll never find a prince because as soon as we get to Carmen's her life is over. She has less than a week to live, because Aiden and Kyla are getting married in seven days and I have to get her back to Carmen by then. I can't get attached. Any more attached than I already am, anyway.
"You don't want that," she states.
"You don't even know me," I repeat, remembering I said the same thing a couple of days ago, about this very same subject: me being royalty. "Maybe I do." I'm contradicting myself, and I know it.
"I'm royalty. We're going to end up married anyway, so-"
"Look around, Spencer!" I cut in, gesturing in every direction. "Do you see any princes married to princes, or princesses married to princesses? It doesn't work that way. People have their little affairs, their experiments…hell, I've been the experiment for more people than I can count on both my hands and feet. But nobody's actually serious. Nobody wants to be with another girl, or another guy. So stop trying. We'll never be anything, and that's before you even throw in the fact that I don't want to be with you. I'm not your true love, alright?" There. Let's see her argue with that.
"I tingle every time you touch me, you know," she replies simply, totally unfazed by my entire rant, and all I can do is stare at her in surprise. She's got this look on her face like she thinks her one statement is good enough to beat my entire argument, and after a few more seconds of just standing here, I'm starting to think maybe it is.
I think Spencer senses my uncertainty, because she reaches for my hand slowly and grips it, lightly pulling me away from the door and over to the bed, then sitting down on the edge of it and pulling me down with her. "I don't know if you feel them, but I do," she finally adds, running a finger down my arm for emphasis. It leaves a trail of tingles that almost make me smile.
"Maybe…you know, a little bit," I reply quietly. "I feel them a little bit."
"Then what's wrong?" she asks, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, then kissing my forehead again.
I swallow, then force myself to smile, shaking my head. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."
"So this is okay?" She leans forward just a little bit, touching her lips to mine gently, and I close my eyes instinctively, leaning forward too to increase the pressure.
"Yeah," I mumble against my better judgment.
Neither of us really says anything after that; we just kiss and kiss, everything from small pecks to borderline going further than kissing, and I can tell Spencer's having the time of her life. I would be, too, if it weren't for the knowledge that I'm supposed to have her killed.
But how the hell am I supposed to let them kill Spencer? She's like the most adorably cute girl ever, and she's a good kisser. And she makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside every time I'm near her.
Don't tell anyone I said that.
Eventually, we end up lying down together and just staring into each other's eyes until we fall asleep.
Spencer sleeps with a smile on her face.
But I'm pretty sure I don't.