17. Faces
I groaned as I jumped on my bed. This day had not gone as what I wanted it to. Skylar showing up and then Cody's parents come to assault me and then I see Cody's face and hear his voice in my head. How could this day have gone worse?
I thought of two possibilities of why I was hearing his voice and see him again so soon.
Number one. I'm going crazy and I'm letting my worst fears get a hold of me. I don't even know if vampires can go crazy or not, but maybe after you have lived a long time you can start to feel more human and then you can go mad. But then what was the point of becoming a vampire then? Or maybe I'm just so afraid of losing Jason and then Cody killing him that I let my worst nightmares come alive.
Number two. I was really seeing and hearing Cody. He can do anything so why couldn't he track me and plant his voice inside my head? Who knows if he has always been following and I never knew it? What if I did know it though, but I just didn't want to admit it? Cody could do all things to get a hold of me, but then why hasn't he been using them?
A light knock sounded from the other end of my wooden door. I heard his heart beat come from the other end and I knew he was trying to slow it down. He took in three deep breaths before he knocked again. This time he opened the door. I guess Jason was giving me a warning sign that he was coming in.
"Hey." His face peeked in through the door and he took one small step in. I noticed that his hair was all out of place so Angel must have really "ran" with him. His clothes were all wrinkled and his face was sort of out of place as well. His face matched the rest of the way he looked perfectly.
Good news-Jason is fine.
Bad news-I had to answer a lot of questions. Ok maybe not a whole lot, but I definitely had some to answer.
"Hello." I responded. He blinked, took another 10 small breaths and then went to sit with me once again. He wrapped his arms around me and put his face in my hair.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes, but the main question is are you ok?"
"Jason, you don't need to worry about me I'm fine.
He sighed.
"I know I just knew with the whole Skylar thing and I didn't know if you were ok. He's waiting down stairs for you, you know. Maybe you should go talk to him. He's really upset." Jason eyes me carefully. His face was thoughtful and he wanted me to forgive Skylar. How could I not do that?
"Why do you make him happy when you don't even want me to be happy?" Cody's voice was angry inside my head. My whole mind was full of his glorious face and it made me wince to see it. "Now don't be like that, love."
"Claire?" Jason's eyes were curious now.
"I'll go talk to him." I grumbled. I opened the door and made my way down the stairs, five at a time. When I got to the end Skylar was sitting on the couch and beside him was Cody on his left and Nick on his right. They were acting like prison guards.
"Is this really necessary?" I asked, anger was rising in my tone and I saw that boy who had almost hurt a human or me. Skylar looked up and he was in pain, but then he smiled at me. I cringed away from him. I hate to say it, but I was afraid of him now. I've never seen Skylar act like that, act like I was his enemy.
"Claire." His voice was cracked. Skylar tried to get up, but Cody put his hand on his shoulder, pushing him down. His eyes kept me looking at his and I couldn't look away. The red eyes frightened me a little. This is what it must have been like for the humans to see red eyes for the first time. I've seen it on Skylar before, when I changed him, but now I knew he had done wrong.
"Who?" I shouted. Again it was unnecessary.
"Come again?" his voice was hurt and confused, puzzled.
"Who was the human? Who was the life you took away?"
He looked down then; he was hiding something from me. I knew the exact look. He did it to me a couple of years ago when he was trying to hide a wolf. He thought the irony would be funny for Sam and I. He was wrong.
I jumped to conclusions then. What if it was Jason's father? What if his dad was gone and Skylar was to blame. Now vampires would have destroyed his own family.
"Don't get mad ok?"
"I'm already mad at you." I spit at him.
He recoiled from the words at once. I'd had hurt him. good. He deserved it after what he had done to me today. Assaulted by him and Cody's parents. What a day.
"You know that blonde in your chemistry class who sometimes gets on your nerves?"
"NO!" I groaned. I loved her. She was nice and sweet and no matter how many times I yelled at her she was so nice to me. It was like I had never hurt her.
"No I didn't kill her. I killed her brother. You know the tall handsome one."
Shoot. He was right about that. Of course he wasn't as good as Jason, but I couldn't deny it. He was beautiful, in his own way. Nice smile, pretty hair and he had some serious muscles. He was the senior I glared at the basketball game where everyone's lives changed so drastically. I felt bad for that at once. That was probably the only thing he remembers me as. I'm sure wherever he is though, Heaven or Hell; he knows what I am now so I felt really bad.
"He's not that cute." Jason grumbled again. I was too tense to laugh and no one else thought it was funny.
I sighed. "Skylar I love you so I'll forgive you, but I just can't right now. I have a lot to be mad at you about so just stay clear of me for a few days, okay?"
"Sure."
Once again I sighed and looked at Jason. He was looking at me like, like he was so in love.
"I'll talk to you guys later." I breathed as I ran up the stairs with Jason on my back. It was weird for me, but since Jason wouldn't be able to carry me, he was just going to have to deal with it.
This time people laughed down stairs and I swore if Nick could, tears would burst from his eyes from how loud he was laughing. I didn't get what was so funny.
I put him down at the top of the stairs and then I ran to my room and left the door open for him. I could hear his stapes trying to catch up with me; he wasn't doing that so well.
"Gosh, can you go any faster?"
I opened my mouth to respond.
"Don't answer that." he said, cutting me off before I even had a chance to talk. I laughed as I looked out the window.
"Claire, I was thinking."
"Oh no." I teased.
"No it's not bad it was just something to think about."
"So." I urged him on. It was like me not wanting to put down a good book.
"I was thinking."
"Yes we already established that you were thinking." I interrupted him again.
"Stop!" he threw his arms in the air and smiled at me.
I held up my hands in defeat and let him continue his little story about him thinking of something.
"I was thinking that maybe we could let Trevor in on our secret." He emphasized the word our saying that he was part of it too. My mouth was wide open. I wasn't expecting this topic at all. My mind was completely else where.
"What? Why would we do that? It would be so dangerous for him. It would mean I would have to kill him or make him one of us. I'm planning to do that to you so you're different from him. I just can't do that to both of your best friends." I paused. "What brought this on?"
"Well when he came over to Cody and I today I wanted so much to just tell him everything. Like you said he's my best friend and I don't want to lose him. That's why I want him to be able to hang with me again. I miss him so much." He looked down as I watched a sparkle of a tear slowly fall down his right cheek. He sniffed and more followed. It took a lot to make Jason cry so I guess he really missed talking to him. I've ruined everything by existing.
"Oh." I wiped the tear away from him as he cradled me in his arms. He held me close and I hoped Summer would make time stop here so this time right here wouldn't end. "This isn't up to me only. I'll talk to the rest of them and I'll put it to a vote. You included." He sniffed again.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
He kissed me softly and pulled away. My hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him closer. I kissed him roughly and I heard his jagged breathing going in and out.
"I wasn't done." I growled softly, pulling his face back to mine.
Jason responded just fine to me. He leaned over me, clutching my hair and tried to pull me closer to him, only I couldn't get any closer. He pulled away only to get a quick breath, but soon he pulled back and put me into a near frenzy.
"Maybe you should kiss me like that next time." Cody's voice was dark in seductive in my mind. Then I could see him. He was sitting in the corner in my room. If I hadn't of seen him I wouldn't have believed it because I couldn't sense him here. I could only see him so I was guessing it was an illusion again. Or maybe I was going crazy.
I gasped in shock, but Jason didn't seem to notice. He was watching me with intent eyes and Cody smiled at me once again. It was the smile I feel in love with so it was hard for me to not smile back, but I didn't so I felt really proud.
"Oh you know you love me inside." He purred in excitement.
"No I don't love you I hate you!" I screamed out loud and jumped away from Jason and I broke down my door. Why would I leave Jason alone with Cody?
"What?" Jason's voice and heart was broken I could tell by the way each of them stuttered and it seemed like both of them cracked at the end of the sentence. "What did you say?" his voice was full of unbelief and pain.
How could I explain what I was seeing to him? I didn't want him to think anything was wrong, but I just said that I didn't love Cody out loud, but Jason thought I said it to him so that must mean he can't see Cody. I must really be going crazy. Call the cops we have a crazy vampire on the loose. I smiled in the thought of it, but it was an evil smile and again Jason took it the wrong way.
"Claire?" his voice was more angered now.
"I wasn't talking to you. I thought I heard something and it told me that I loved it instead of you and I didn't mean to say it out loud but I did and you took it the wrong way." I took another breath; again there was no indication that Cody was really here, because I would have smelled him. But there he was smiling at me and laughing. I could hear it, but Jason couldn't.
"Whose voice?"
I put my head down. I couldn't tell him I was hearing Cody's voice and that I was afraid. I was supposed to be the strong one. Not the one who is strong and then chickens out as soon as she sees her ex-boyfriend and lover.
"Please. Tell me, please."
I sighed. There was no one I was going to get around this. I was always going to do what he wanted when he pleaded with me like this and he knew it.
"It's Cody's." I sneered his name and I growled as it came out of my own lips. I flared my nose and my hands became claws. I hated being weak more than anything else. Even more than I hated Cody. Then my anger went away and I feel to my knees. "I hate the feeling I have when I'm around him. I feel weak and helpless because he can do anything he wants to me. He also makes me feel like I'm still in love with him and I hate it!"
"What do you mean when you're around him? He's not here. It's just you and me."
"I keep seeing his face and right now he's sitting in the corner smiling like he just won the lottery. Only you can't see him so I don't whether I'm going nuts or if he's using some new gift that I've never seen before. But then that shouldn't surprise me.'
He smiled and chuckled a little bit.
"What's so funny?" I snapped. He still didn't stop. He just shook his head and continued to smile.
"I already knew you were nuts. One. You're a vampire and a mythical creature. Two. You drink blood to survive, but that only links you back to number one. And three," he scooted closer to me, "You love me. That has to be some big points for being nuts. Don't you think?"
"Don't make a joke out of this, please, I'm serious."
"You're right. This is obviously bothering you and I need to listen to it and try to help." He smiled.
"Unless you have a way to kill him then you can't. Remember when I said I needed to do some things on my own and I need to finish them myself and not pull you into it?"
"Yes." He sighed knowing what was coming next. I'm sure he hated to not be apart of this even when it could so shape our future together, when I decide what to do.
"This is one of those times." I lifted his chin up. "But you can help me with one thing."
"Yeah?"
"You can help me forget him right now and just let me think about you. How about that?" I fluttered my eyes as my hand traced his collarbone and throat, up and down.
He took in a deep breath and smiled. "I'm sure I can do that." his other hand made its way down my back and even my breathing kicked it up a notch.
After a few minutes of kissing Jason something changed. His hands were surer and he was starting doing stuff that was not his usual stuff. Normally he was fine with just kissing me. I noticed these movements at once but I could nothing to stop him.
He leaned over me again like that one night when Skylar kissed me. But he was different he didn't even hesitate as he tried to unbutton my shirt. That's where he started acting more…mean. I guess that was a good way to describe it. Even thought it didn't hurt when he kissed me but I could tell that he got rougher and tried to get more serious in this.
I tried to push his off, but for some reason I couldn't. It was like he was stronger than I was. I knew I still had my vampire strength but it was like he was one too, only stronger than I was. He made me stay where I was and then it truly was hurting me. He wrapped around me and he squeezed me hard.
"Ouch. Jason, stop! Let go of me!" as he did nothing I called for help. "Skylar!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He was there in an instant and he was wearing the most confused face he could. I didn't understand it at first but then again I had no time. He just stood there, eyes wide and everything, even when I screamed his name again. The others then came up and then they stood there like zombies as well.
I had to do something to get him off before Jason really hurt me. It pained me to do it but I had to do it. As I pulled away I saw what they were staring at. I wasn't kissing Jason as I originally thought. No wonder he was so strong.
I was kissing Cody.
"Miss me?"
I unleashed everything I had on him. He didn't even flinch. He just smiled and laughed.
"You didn't think I would let you that away from me that easily." He smiled and then he disappeared. He took my breath with him. But more importantly he took Jason.
"Got him." Angel's voice sounded faded and far away.
Nick sighed in relief.
"Where was Jason?" Skylar asked. Then suddenly now had my attention.
"Some where downtown. In the worst part of it. He could have been killed down there." Angel told him. "He could have been hurt worse."
Of course Cody didn't care whether or not Jason lived. He'd rather him dead than alive.
"Claire are you ok?" our Cody's voice was in my ear.
"I'm fine." I managed to say after a few minutes. I hated this. How could I ever think that Jason would ever hurt me? I was such an idiot. "Where is he?" I growled.
"I'm right here." I felt his warm pulse over my hand. His voice was hard and defeated. He felt so weak, just like I felt when I felt him near.
I opened my eyes and looked into his tear-streaked face. There was bruise on his face. He also had a black eye. I also remembered Angel saying 'He could have been hurt worse.' Cody did this to him.
"What happened?" I hissed already knowing the answer. I took his face gently and looked at it carefully.
"Cody happened. It was so fast that you didn't even realize that he made me leave and then came back. It seemed like time had stopped for you only and it was still going for me.
"He threw me into a wall, punch me gut, almost broke my arm again, the pain you put to him went straight to me," I gasped. That hurt the most. "And the worst part was he made me watch you and him. It was like I wasn't there, but I was. I was screaming at you that it wasn't me and then I saw he was putting you in pain. The worst part of that was you enjoyed it at the beginning." Another blow into me and I gritted my teeth. It hurt me so bad to hear him say that. It was like the doubt at the beginning, like he didn't think I loved him enough to stay with him. But more than that he was jealous, I could hear it leak into his voice.
"Why does he have to come now?" Skylar groaned. "I mean he has been dormant in you life since that night he changed you and now all of a sudden, boom, and there he is!" he used his hands to make a fake explosion while Angel made the noise which made it sound so close, so real.
I thought about all of this too. I thought about a lot of things in Paris. Being so close must have made me remember and think more clearly. Or maybe being so close to him made me realize the big things that has always haunted me, I just didn't want to think about them. I locked behind a door in my mind, refusing to let them come out of it. I guess being there I must have unlocked it subconsciously.
I opened my mouth to speak. "Well if you think about it, it's not that hard to figure out. It's so obvious that I can't believe you guys haven't though of it.
"Of course Cody wants me and he wants Jason out of that picture. He would do anything to have him gone, but on the other hand he can't kill him because I love him and he wouldn't kill something I love. And in a way I love him too," I saw Jason wince in the corner. I didn't stop long enough for him to notice my acknowledgement. "And that's why I can't really kill him. If I kill him it would be like killing my father or taking away something from me. Whether I like it or not he is a part of me and it's hard to detach from it. I hate him but I love him all the same.
"Which means Cody obviously came back for one reason: jealousy. He was always the jealous type back in those days. Any boy I spotted or blushed at when he gave me a compliment, Cody got me out of there or made sure the other guy knew I was taken.
"He's jealous that I have finally found someone I love other than him so now he's stepping in to take the reigns and get Cody out of here. He knows that I don't love him anymore so I believe that only makes it harder for him to let go. He doesn't like to hurt me, but sometimes he can't help it.
"When I was alone I'm sure he thought I would never find anyone and maybe I would come back to him, it was a wish that could never become true and he knew that. He just never gave up on hope. So when Jason came into the picture, his overprotective side came into effect and he came to get rid of the competition. The prize for whoever wins is a vampire who can't seem to control herself around humans." I winked at Jason trying to ease the tension I created by my speech.
Jason just walked of the room and went down the stairs. He didn't say goodbye or anything; no one stopped him. I heard his car start and then I heard it fade down the street. No one moved.
"This tension is killing me! Can someone please talk?" I asked nicely, knowing how much troubled I caused tonight that no one should listen to my normal crap of yelling.
"Of course!" Skylar snapped his fingers together. "Why didn't I think of that? Of course Cody would be jealous of Jason. This changes everything. Now I'm sure we can settle this and put some things back together."
I wasn't listening to that. I was listening for the sign that Jason would be coming back for me. I hated hurting him like this, but I couldn't hurt him by lying to him like that.
I loved Cody still I guess. I guess I couldn't just let go and I just didn't want to let go of my past, but I need to. I just feel like getting rid of Cody would be getting of the reason I was here and in love with Jason. I love Jason, but Cody was getting in the way of that love. Skylar was right, this had to end and it had to end soon.
I was also thinking of what Jason said before he left so glum and miserable. I can't even get that face out of my mind. Jason said something about how time seemed to stop, but only for him and not for me. It reminded me of Summer, but she wouldn't do that to me would she? No she couldn't she hated Cody as much as I did. Didn't she?
There was a shuffling around the house, but I didn't want to think about that I ad to stay on topic to figure out some things. Summer's smile was on my mind. Could she possibly be lying to me? A spy? For Cody? Was everything she said to me on the beach a lie?
'Well Cody won't touch him. I see how much you love him and I won't let Jason go unless I die as well.' Her words still echoed in my head.
Wait a minute. How could I go so easily to expect the worst from her? She is so nice and she's a new member, she deserves more than that.
Cody came in the room breathless. I guess he was the one looking for something in the house. Looking for something…
"Guys, I can't find Summer."
At least I thought she deserved more.
So much for love.