22. Blamed

"Claire?" Jason's voice whispered softly.

I still had no time to think about this. Even as fast as my mind could process there would never be enough time.

Yes, I loved Jason more than I had ever loved Cody, but did that mean anything? Jason was so different, he had manners and was a complete gentlemen. Cody could be that way too but he was too cocky for his own good. He thought every woman in the world wanted him, including me.

I looked into his dark eyes trying to see into his mind. Though I could not read minds, I was very good at reading people. There was nothing hidden in his gaze. There were no untold lies, even though he was a bad enough liar as it is, and there was nothing there but pure love for me.

I could tell in his gaze he wanted me.

I hadn't had sex since Cody and even that wasn't done well. He bit me before we got into too much. Though I'm quite sure if he hadn't made me a vampire I would have been pregnant.

Then I would be putting Jason in the same position Cody had put me in.

I snarled under my breath as I thought the name again.

I would be putting Jason in so much danger. I could really hurt him. I could break his spine from pulling him closer. I could crush his skull from trying to kill him. I could make him one of us by kissing his neck, as Cody had done with me.

This was just so damn complicated!

It would be so much easier if Jason was immortal, but I can't do that. I couldn't take him away from his father like I had taken their mother. And the worst part is what if I don't stop? What if I kill my love by drinking his blood? Then I would be the worst kind of killer besides the fact of already what I am. The fact is that I wouldn't be able to tell his father. I would have to run away from all of it and he would never know what had happened to his poor son.

Jason continued to look at me with no judgment in his eyes. In that moment I wish I could have him. I wish we could make love, but that just wasn't the case. He was way too fragile and I was too strong for my own good. Plus, what would the hotel manager think?

Was I really stooping that low? Why would I care what other people think? He was mine and he was my fiancée for now and forever. Why should I even consider that? What right did she have to think lowly of us? She didn't know our story, our history. She had no idea what we had both gone through for this love.

I curled out of our position and he rolled over on his back on the other side.

He sighed.

"Jason we just can't! you have no idea what danger I'm putting you in just by being next to you." I lied.

Well I guess it wasn't really a lie. I mean I told the truth I just didn't say all of it.

I'm just not ready. Can he understand that? Of course he could. It was Jason after all.

He was silent.

I rolled over to see what expression was on his face. I hoped he wasn't too angry with me. I mean I guess he had a right to but it was my body. I had the right to say no right? Well of course I did! I wasn't no slut who gave herself away to every boy she met and hoped not to get pregnant or STD.

He face looked almost hurt, but it had a more defeated feature to its mask. He tried not to look at me, but he failed. His eyes glanced at my wondering expression and he looked away quickly.

"I get it, Claire. You're not ready." He half smiled. "But I guess you can't really blame a teenage boy for trying. I mean do not look in the mirror a lot?" he was teasing me now. "You're just so gorgeous."

I laughed, but it felt wrong. Should I be happy now knowing that…he just died? I couldn't even bear to say his name, it hurt so bad.

He leaned against the back of the bed to look at me. I didn't look at him. I was too busy looking at his chest. Can you blame me? I'm a teenage girl and Jason is totally hot.

I leaned forward this time so I could touch my lips to his. They were very soft and warm. I felt him shiver at my touch and I felt his heart trying to jump out of his chest.

I guess the term would mean "making out", but I wouldn't call it that. I would just call it kissing him. Over and over and over again. But it was better than what others would call it too. It wasn't just on some whim and I didn't just meet Jason at a party. I loved him and he loved me, end of story.

So after a couple of hours Jason finally started to drift in and out of conciseness so I let him sleep. He laid his blonde, curly head back on the pillow and close his dark, hazel eyes.

"Love you." he mumbled, but he was so tired it sound like "Luf fu".

His chest rose and fell evenly and it was until I was sure he was asleep I snuck out of the room and went down stairs. I walked past the female clerk again, and she was giving me this nasty look that made the want to throttle her throat. But I ignored the urge and gave her a fake smile so she knew I know what she thought.

I walked 50 feet away from the hotel before I broke into a flat out sprint down the highway. I swirled through oncoming cars dancing my way to New York city.

I made it there in about 30 seconds.

I slowed down to a walk when I saw some people out by the park. I wondered why there would be some out but this was New York.

First things first. I had to hunt and I had to hunt now. Kissing Jason made me realize the urge I had to suck his blood even though it smelt awful. That's how thirsty I was.

I glanced around until I saw two gang like teenagers walking through the woods.

I followed them.

They walked about one hundred feet into the brush when I made a noise that alerted them to my presence.

The spun around and looked relieved to find a 18 year old, beautiful blonde standing in their mists. They looked at each other than slowly walked towards me.

"Hey." the older looking one said. He had dark hair and blues eyes that shone in the moonlight. He smiled lightly as if trying not to scare me away. He was 6 feet and probably a few years older than Jason. I was guessing in his early twenties.

The other was blonde and he had brown eyes. Huh. I thought that was kind of funny. They were like complete opposites. This one was short, but still taller than me. Jason was taller than him. He was only 19 I was sure.

The giggle that came from my mouth at the joke I made in my head seemed to make them think for a second. It encouraged them.

"Hey." I smiled. For a moment they were dazzled by my smile, but they shook it off and looked even more entranced.

"What are you doing all the way out here?" the blonde said. He smiled sweetly, but I knew the smile was fake.

"I followed you." I said quite frankly, taking a step towards them rather than way like other would normally do.

This shocked them.

"Oh." the dark haired man murmured, not knowing what else to say. "I'm Jackson and this here is Jon." he gestured to the other man.

"I'm Claire. Nice to meet you." I beamed. They both took a little while to remember how to breathe, but they did in a few short moments.

I loved showing off.

"Would you like to go get something to eat with us?" Jon said. The way he said his words made me realize they had no intention of letting me eat.

"Oh trust me, Jon, I am." I snarled. My face transformed and I crouched down into my hunting pose. They both looked shocked, but didn't move.

"What the…" Jon half yelled, but I cut him off. I lunged for his throat, but before he had time to react I broke his neck. Before I bit him I leaped for Jackson but I didn't kill him right away.

"What are you?" he asked astounded.

"Well since you're not going to live to tell the story I guess I can reveal it to you." I smiled sweetly again. "I'm a vampire. Before you ask it, yes we do exist. I'm over four thousand years old. I've lived among you humans for a while now. I'm very sorry I have to kill you, but I have to survive too you know." my voice was sad at the end.

I guess he picked up on that because he said something. "I can keep a secret." he whispered, on the edge of a plea.

"I'm sure you can, but it's not a risk I'm willing to take. Sorry, truly I am."

He nodded knowing there was nothing he could do. Smart. Trying to fight it would have made it all the worse.

I sighed and leaned into his neck. I broke it with a last sigh from Jackson. I bit into him and the flow of sweet blood filled my mouth. I drained him very quickly, moving on to Jon's dead corpse.

I moved quickly, I only liked fresh blood. I drained him a little more slowly, getting very full.

I threw his empty body away from me and stood up. I wiped some of the blood off of me and walked away. I ran away from the scene and slowed to a walk again when I reached civilization.

I walked right into a mall and made my way into Aropostle. I grabbed a medium, white, long sleeved shirt from the sale rack. I moved over to the jackets and got myself a furry one. Angel would love this for her birthday in a few days. Ours were always so close.

Then I took a pair of jeans off the rack looking at mine. They were grass stained and ripped slightly at the knee. I grabbed the light blue ones that fit me perfectly and moved on the new shoes.

The boots were all organized so well. I picked up a pair of long furry boots. A size 10 and a half. I had some big feet.

After all my shopping was done I went over to the guys side and picked up a dark blue shirt for Jason as well as new jeans and tennis shoes. He wouldn't like me doing this for him, but he was going to have to put it in his coke and suck it.

I smiled again as I walked up to the girl at the register. Heck, I walked back over to another color of the same jacket I was getting for Angel. I liked it a lot too.

I went back over and put it up for the girl to scan.

"Shopping a little late, huh? Yah I do that sometimes too." she scanned each of the items for me. "That will be $172. 69 please."

She waited patiently as I pulled out my roll of cash. I watched he eyes bug as I sifted through a couple of twenties until I pulled out two of my seven hundred dollar bills.

I saw jealousy in her eyes and she went to give me back my change.

"Keep it." I smiled seriously. It wasn't a smile that meant to hurt her feelings that I was richer than her, but a nice one. Then I slid another hundred to her. "I know what it feels like." then I walked out of the store with two full bags in my hand.

I walked quickly out the mall, in a hurry to get back to the hotel before the sun came up.

It took me no time at all before I walked into the hotel again, nodded at the rude girl, and pretty much ran up the stairs.

I walked in quietly.

With him sound asleep I changed into my new outfit. I laid his new clothes on the chair beside him.

I slowly walked into the bathroom to comb out my mess of a hair. Not only would the bright red iris's freak Jason out, but the hair would send him over the top. He would know I went hunting as soon as he woke up. I took a match out of my old jean pocket and burned my bloody clothes, destroying the evidence.

I walked back over and sat on the bed lightly and watched Jason sleep for the next hour or two.

The sun came blaring in and it shone on Jason's sleeping face. My skin sparkled as the sun hit me too. Now I was glad I bought that jacket. I would need something to cover me up until I got out of view so I could run.

His eyes fluttered as he awoke. He yawned and stretched his arms and sat up to look at me.

Shock crossed his face as he saw my eyes. He tried to hide it, but he wasn't fast enough. I looked down to hide from his gaze.

Trying to get on a different subject he spoke. "New clothes." he said, his eyes appraising my new apparel.

"Yah I got some for you too. It's there on the chair." my voice cracked as I looked over to the chair. "You should take a shower first, I guess."

He nodded slowly and walked into the bathroom. I heard the water start. The doors squeaked as he walked in.

I sighed. what was I going to do?

After about 3 minutes he walked back out with a towel around his hands. He looked from his clothes to me with a worried expression.

I smiled, winked and then turned around. He chuckled and walked over to grab the items. I heard him slip into his pants so I turned around to look at him.

"So how was the hunting?" he asked trying to sound nonchalant. Jason would meet my eyes, but I understood he wanted an answer.

"Everything went well. Jackson and Jon suffered no pain. I made sure of it."

"Two men?" he sounded skeptical that a semi-little thing like me could drink that much blood.

"I hadn't hunted in a week or two. I get really thirsty, really fast."

Jason nodded, again, not meeting my eyes.

"What did you expect Jason? That I could stop being who I am? If drinking blood irritates you I need to know now, because if that's the case…"

"No!" he looked at me quickly. "It's not that. It's just well you act so human, I almost forgot." he smiled weakly.

"I've had more time to practice the human charade than the others." I looked over him again, glad that I picked those type of clothes. "They fit you nicely."

He didn't respond.

"Jason?"

"He's really gone isn't he?"

I hadn't expected him to say it. I clutched my side that felt like it was about to tear myself part and fell to the floor.

I was so quite that Jason didn't know what had happened until I he turned around.

"Claire, I'm sorry. That was stupid of me to say that." he put his hand on my back and rubbed soothingly. He pulled some of my hair out of my face and helped me stand up again.

I took his hand, threw his old clothes and shoes in the trash and walked out of the room. We proceeded down the stairs with a stiff "Please come again" from the female.

"Human," I mumbled under my breath so Jason couldn't hear. The I scooped him up again and ran fast, hoping to get away from here.

I heard Jason's "Whoa" as I ran right across the water. I beamed, feeling exhilarated.

By the time the sun set I let Jason touch the ground. He was a little shaky, but he was able to stand up straight.

"Where are we?" he asked. Well maybe yawn would be a correct term. He walked over to me, looking like he was drunk.

"Paris." I stated, smelling the air of home.

"Cool." he murmured.

I laughed. "Maybe you shouldn't be seen around any cops, they might think you're drunk."

"Love drunk maybe." he said after laughing.

"Come on let's get you home." I felt sad after we got here. Even my laugh was wrong, but Jason was too incoherent to notice.

I towed him a few feet only to be stopped by the first person I wanted to see right now. As soon as I hit his embrace I broke down.

"He's gone! He's dead! Cody killed…him!" I stifled through words that were flowing fast through my mouth.

"What? Claire? Wait who's dead?" Skylar asked, looking at Jason, but the question meant for me.

"He tried to save me. Oh, Skylar it was awful. Cody…he…he," I tried to say more, but I couldn't.

"Who tried to save you?"

I shook my head, not wanting to talk anymore. I wanted my memory to go away. I hated what I could see.

"Claire it's gonna be ok." he said in a French accent that I couldn't ignore.

"I hope so." I sobbed, unable to say anything else. I was remembering his tortured face. Now I finally realized why I had been so calm with Jason, his death hadn't finally hit yet. Now it just did.

His smiled filled my mind. I remembered the last time I saw him. How happy he was, how he had accepted Jason so easily.

Skylar held me tightly, pressing his hand against my back and resting his head on mine.

"Claire! How nice it is to see you…" Sylvia's voice slowed and trailed off as she saw my face.

No. I didn't want to do this now. I needed more time. I had to think of the perfect way to tell her, but I didn't have that kind of time.

"Is something wrong?" her French voice was full of deep concern. She tilted her head and walked closer to me. She stiffened as she inhaled deeply.

I tried to tell her, but I couldn't find my voice.

Then we weren't alone anymore. The rest of her coven came from the shadows. They were all here-Hannah, Keenan, Abby, Claire, and Dylan. Missing only one other person.

"I wish Shadow would hurry back! He's been gone for days! Oh he would so happy to see you guys again. The last he said was something about a desert and when we came back from our hunting trip, he was gone! I'm telling you that boy-" something from my face made Sylvia stop talking. I wonder what they all saw, because all of them gasped.

"He's not coming back." I whispered. My eyes flashed to her confused face then around to Skylar's.