I was in a heavy slumber, devoid of any dreams, when Adam woke me up. At first I put up a fight, needing more sleep, but my stomach reminded me that there were more important things to attend to. Like eat a decent fucking meal for the first time in days, since I had been picking at the food while in my room. After putting some clothes back on -I sleep in my underwear- I went to join the rest of the patients.

There wasn't much excitement, I ate by myself because I didn't really want to socialize at that very moment. Halfway through our walk I remembered the kiss that Adam had given to me. At first I thought it was part of my dream, but I realized that I wasn't asleep yet, and Adam had a look on his face that said he was hiding something. I didn't know what to make of it: should I try to get with him, or should I keep my distance because of our preexisting relationship as doctor and patient? All of that thinking made me irritable and I didn't want to talk to anybody yet, but of course some people are too stupid to pick up on that, or maybe they're just assholes.

"Hey, new guy." A voice called to me.

I looked up: it was one of the nurses, or guards I'm not sure. He was burly enough to be a guard.

"Why aren't you socializing with the other patients. Do you think your better than them?"

"No. I just wanted to be by myself today, but apparently that's too much to ask. Did it ever occur to you that I could have been brutally raped and interacting with other people made me have panic attacks?" I asked, malice laced within my words. "Or maybe that I heard voices that told me to do horrible, unspeakable things to the people around me? Maybe I-"

"-Okay I get it, you have the right to be lonely." He interrupted.

"You make a shitty first impression, seriously." I stared him down until he walked away.

I could see the stares I was getting from the others, but I didn't care. I needed my own time by myself, and not being bombarded by small talk. I quickly shrugged them off and went back to my food when I felt something hit my back. I looked behind me and saw a crumpled piece of paper, so I picked it up. It was a note, and it read:

I knew it. You can't speak to anyone without trying to prove you a bad ass. You make a worse first impression, seriously.

-XXX

I looked to the direction the note had come from and saw the blond kid from earlier. He had a smug look plastered on his face as he continued to eat with his friends.

I was done, I picked up my tray and threw the contents away. Great, another meal I didn't get to finish. Walking away, the blond kid tripped me, causing me to fall yet again. I landed on the same foot as before and cried out in pain. The nurse/guard man came over and helped me up while I glared daggers at the fair skinned teen.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I growled.

"I'm Ryan Evans," he smirked, "and I think we're going to end up the best of friends." He gave and exaggerated wave and turned his back to me, sniggering to his friends. I was about to go over there and punch him in his smug face when a hand grabbed my shoulder.

"Don't Troy." Adam's voice snapped me out of it.

I looked at him, and he saw all of the anger in my eyes.

"Come on." He gestured for me to follow him.

Outside of the cafeteria, Adam put both his hands on my shoulders and looked me square in the eye. I knew what was coming next: he would start bombarding me with questions.

"What was that all about?" Yup, I was right.

"That Ryan Evans kid was the one who shoved me in the shower, and he tripped me on the way out of the cafeteria. I was about to punch him for it when you stopped me." I explained, still thoroughly pissed off.

"Ryan? No, it could be him. He's one of the nicest people in here, I couldn't imagine him doing that." Adam reasoned.

"Well, I was there both times, and I'm pretty sure he did." I replied sarcastically.

"Are you sure you didn't provoke him? You are kind of abrasive." Adam once again tried to defend the guy.

"Since he saw me, he's been a complete ass hole to me. I admit he did see me fucking my hand, but still, I see no reason to be so hostile. You don't even believe me, do you?"

"Well, I can't say that you are the most trustworthy person in here, so yes, I have some doubts." The shaggy haired doctor admitted to me.

"Fuck you, White Coat." I pulled away from him and stormed off, fuming.

Anger surged through me as I walked through the halls, it was so bad I couldn't even think straight. I held so much trust with Adam, more than I had another person in a long time, and he didn't even believe me when I said that someone was picking on me. It hurt, it literally fucking hurt when he said that. I turned into my room and threw myself on the bed, careful not to thump my foot in the process, and screamed into the pillow. I screamed as hard and long as I could, and by the end of it my throat felt raw, and my voice was haggard. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling absentmindedly.

How long would I be in here? It wasn't where I belonged: it wasn't home, and yet it was the closest thing I had at the moment. What about after this? My parents made it clear that I wasn't welcome home again, but that's exactly where I would be sent when I was done here. Could I solve my problems in a few months? No, probably not. I guess I really did need to be in here, I can't even deal with my anger unless I hurt myself in some way. How healthy is that?

Thoughts floated through my head for the next hour, pondering how my life would turn out in the near future. I decided the future was too unpredictable to continue think about so I turned back to my past. The part where things turned bad.

It was my fifteenth birthday, and I was having a small but fun party at my house with all of my good buddies. They would later become known in school as the East High Basketball Junior Varsity Basketball Team, I suppose I would have been too if I had stayed on the path that I was on. Well, we all were hanging out in the back yard and sneaking alcohol when our dads weren't looking.

*** Flashback ***

"Come on Chad, that's all you could manage, one cup? There are more than one of us." Jason teased.

"Shut up man! It was your dad who decided that they needed more nachos and came back into the kitchen. I was lucky he didn't notice that the keg was in a different spot than last time, or the time before. Seriously, no wonder they have beer bellies, they never stop eating." Chad complained.

"I think you mean nacho bellies." I joked.

"Wow Hoops that was lame." Chad remarked.

"Shut up, it's my birthday. I'm allowed all the lame jokes I want." I threw a fry at his head.

It got stuck in his bouncy curls, and he didn't know until five minutes later when we finally caught our breath from laughing so hard to tell him. Then he had to endure us laughing again as he tried to find it, fishing through his sea of hair. When he finally found it, he threw it into the pit where we were toasting s'mores earlier. We watched as the grease caught fire and the entire thing went up in flames.

"Cool…" Jason broke the silence.

"Man, you guys could at least tell me where that damn fry was." Chad complained.

"But then it wouldn't have been as funny as it was." Zeke reasoned.

"I guess, but still…" Chad trailed off.

"Come on guys, lets do something. We could play a game of basketball." I suggested.

"Nah, we do that all the time. How about we do something different?" Chad's voice was low, hinting at something edgier than a game of basketball.

"Like what?" Jason asked, unaware of Chad's implications.

"Well," the curly headed teen started, "my cousin gave a porno dvd. We could watch it up in your room Troy."

"A porno, as in a guy and a girl doing it?" Jason asked dumbly.

"Nope, as in two girls doing it." Chad corrected.

"Shoot man, let's go!" Zeke practically ran back into the house.

The other guys picked up what beer we had collected and followed suit. I stayed behind, hesitant about going up stairs. I knew I was gay, but hadn't yet told anyone. Watching lesbians have sex with my friends would be really awkward. Despite this, I swallowed my feelings and went to join them. On the way to my room I took a few detours getting myself a quick drink and using the bathroom. While in the bathroom, I psyched myself up trying my best to keep myself looking as confidant as they knew me to be. After this I went downstairs and stole another bottle of beef and filled a water bottle at the keg, so I would have an alibi for my late arrival.

When I got there the guys had already settled themselves down and had apparently managed to steal more alcohol. Once I had entered the room, one of the guys shut the door behind me and locked it. I took a seat in the back of my room, near Chad, and grabbed the nearest bottle of beer. I had never drank before, but I was sure that I would be able to handle this without it. The first sip was the worst; it tasted like dirty dishwater, but carbonated. After the first bottle I grabbed another, the guys probably would have been mad if they knew I was downing all of their ill gotten beer, but they were all preoccupied with the two blond women going at it. By the time I had officially realized that I was drunk, I noticed that some of the guys had pulled out their members and were pleasuring themselves to the movie.

Normally I would have avoided looking and tried my best to look like I was actually enjoying the movie, but my lowered inhibitions had me looking at my friends in a way that I never had before. Seeing them like that, I became excited and began unbuttoning my pants. Yes, I was about to do that in front of my friends. I began my motions, and snuck looks at my friends while doing it. One of them caught my eye.

Jason was by my door, keeping lookout. He had his shirt lifted a bit, revealing his flat stomach and he was playing with his nipples while watching the movie. I didn't deny to myself that I thought he was cute, in fact I admitted that to my self even when I wasn't inebriated. I took a sip of beer, peering at him over the rim of my cup and stroked myself. He hadn't yet gotten to his pants yet, instead he decided on foreplay with himself. He rubbed his crotch through his jeans and gave a slight moan: faint enough not to disturb the others, but loud enough to excite me that much more. I didn't want to tear my eyes away, but I knew if one person even saw me looking at anything other than the screen, then I would have to do some explaining. I gave a quick glance: everyone was still too caught up in their own fantasies to realize that they were all masturbating in a room full of guys, although I'm sure that realization would come later on.

I continued to watch the raven haired teen, my breathe hitching ever-so-slightly when he finally pulled his manhood out of his pants. I soon came hard, my lips uttering a silent name on deaf ears. I knew it was wrong, but alcohol and teenage hormones were never meant to be mixed. As I cleaned my self up, I noticed that the other guys were starting to reach their end too, which was conveniently at the end of the sex scene. I averted my eyes, not wanting to see so many orgasms all at once: it just seemed too messy now that my sex drive had waned.

After a few minutes many of my friends had made themselves decent and cleaned up, the box of tissues I kept in my room would need to thrown away tonight, they all reached the same realization I had. They had gotten off in front of all of their friends, who had done the same. It was quiet and no one seemed to know what to say, so I spoke up.

"Okay so that was weird, no doubt about it, but it doesn't have to stay that way. We make a pact: no one speaks of this after tonight, okay?" I said confidently, though my speech was a little slurred.

There were murmurs of agreement and slowly they began to liven up. One of them suggested playing basketball, and everyone quickly jumped on board, wanting to forget what had happened. As they filed out, I put a hand on Chad's shoulder At first his eyes were a bit fearful, thinking he was in trouble, but softened when he realized that I wasn't mad.

"Next time," I started, "don't bring porn to a party. It's kind of in bad taste." I joked.

"Whatever dude, it looked like you were enjoying yourself. Could it have been one of us to get you so excited?" Chad joked, though a wave of fear passed though me.

"Like your ugly mug could do anything other than make me limp." I teased.

"Dude, that was harsh." He said.

"Well, be glad it wasn't something else."

"Yeah, I guess."

***

After a majority of the guys had left: it was just Chad, Jason, and Zeke spending the night. We took to my room, hooking up Chad's gaming console to my television. We had acquired some more alcohol and there was enough for the four of us to get drunk. Luckily Jason's dad had some of those pills that prevented hangovers, and we each had one handy for when we needed them.

Let it be said that a group of guys playing video games drunk don't do as well playing online as they could have when they are sober. We were massacred time and again by everyone, even some noobs who were playing for the first time. Which was pathetic. We didn't care though, we were too busy letting the alcohol let us believe that we were having more fun than it could have really been. Of course the beer also went right through us, and we all had to go make several bathroom breaks in the hallway. On one particular occasion, I bumped into my dad, who was probably way more drunk than me and we had a brief exchange of words on the way to the bathroom. He looked at me for a minute and I was sure he could tell I was drunk, but rather than get mad at me like I though he was, he just shook his head and said he would deal with it in the morning.

I made a quick stop to the kitchen, searching for the leftover pizza in the fridge. I set my cup on the counter and got slice. When I turned around my dad was at the counter, looking at my cup, he didn't look mad. He looked amused.

"I remember when I was your age. Me and my friends would go to the liquor store and bug people to buy beer for us, I got so smashed back then, and that was before I was your age. I became even more wild the older I got, I was known as the party monster at my school. In college things were no different, your mom couldn't keep up with my and usually chose to be the designated driver because she didn't like the feeling of being drunk. All of it changed when you were born, I gave up partying so I could provide for you. I don't regret it, and now that your older I think I can do it again every once in a while." He paused and looked me over appraisingly. "You look much older now, and are becoming a very handsome young man, soon you'll have girls throwing themselves at you."

I stood there listening to it with a smirk, it was funny to hear the musings of a drunk man. Even more funny when you were just as smashed.

"Well, I won't keep you from your friends. And hey, this is your only time your allowed to do this okay? Not even on your other birthdays, just this once." Jack Bolton left the room.

I quickly chugged down the rest of my beer and got another slice of pizza. I started to feel really sleepy so I started for my room, remembering to take those pills that Jason had gotten. Each step I took felt heavier and seemed to linger longer than usual. By the time I had reached the living room I threw myself on the couch, intent on sleeping there for the night, but someone else came in and started talking to me. It was Chad.

"Mmm…" I groaned, signally for him to speak.

"Hey man, are you alright you look kind of tired."

"Yep, just let me sleep here 'kay?" I asked.

"Alright man, just one second." He made a move toward me flipping my body over.

"Mmph, stop already. I'll just sleep like this. " I tried to push him off of me as I slept, but I was too tired. His hands kept adjusting me and such and he kept on tugging at my clothes. Too tired to fight it anymore I passed out.

***

When I woke up in the middle of the night, I felt different. I was still in the living room, but I felt different. I was sore but I didn't have a headache, it was my ass that hurt. A lot. I shifted my weight and cried out in pain. My ass hurt really bad and then I felt something inside me. It felt slippery and foreign and for a second I had an accident in my sleep, but that could be it. When I sat up I saw Chad in the recliner, he had his head in his hands and looked like he had been crying.

"Troy?" His hoarse voice whispered.

"What's wrong Chad?" I asked, trying to ignore my pain to keep it hidden from him.

He threw himself on me, crying. I was shocked, but eventually gave him a hug.

"What's wrong Chad?" I asked again.

"I'm so sorry Troy!" He cried. "I didn't… I didn't, oh I'm just so sorry Troy. Please forgive me!"

"Seriously what's going on? Why are you sorry? What happened while I was asleep?" I asked bewildered.

The emotional state Chad was in and my suddenly raw feeling ass seemed to connect, and slowly I came to the conclusion I didn't want to know.

"Was I… was I raped?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"Let me explain…" Chad started.

*** End Flashback***

I bolted up from my bed as the alarm on my wristwatch went off. I looked at it, remembering that the alarm was to remind myself to do something for school. 'Well that was useless' I thought to myself. After the initial shock of waking up to a blaring alarm, the memories from my nap came flooding back. The party, the alcohol, Chad's confession.

So Chad had raped me during my birthday party. That still didn't explain why I had started hooking up with my dad, in fact I don't remember anything after that party. Not until I came back to school as a pompous asshole and pushed everyone else away from me. Chad knew, he may have been drunk, but he didn't drink as much as me, he didn't end up with roofies in his beer. He had to tell me what else happened, when I had started to change. He owed me, as far I'm concerned he owes me a good deal more than some answers, but that will come later.

I got out of bed and went down the hallway, not really sure where to go since I hadn't left my room for anything other than trips to the bathroom, meals and meetings. I went to the nurses' station and asked them where Adam was. At first they wouldn't tell me because he was on a break, but eventually their will gave way to my charm. He was in the dayroom, since it was closed off for repairs. They warned me to say that I just wandered in there and that they had nothing to do with it.

After some brief instructions on how to get to the dayroom I set off for him. I opened the door silently and crept in, catching sight of Adam. He was sitting on the window sill, his eyes closed and basking in the late afternoon sun. He looked absolutely gorgeous sitting there, and I found myself staring at him for a while.

"It's rude to stare." He mumbled.

"Well it's rude to ignore me too." I added.

"Whatever, what brings you to my hideaway?" He asked.

"Well the blond nurse told me you would be here, but she said to say I wandered in here by accident… oh well." I smirked.

"I see, well at least she tried to cover her ass." He finally opened his eyes. "So… what brings you seeking my attention?"

"Well, after I stormed off, I went into my room to vent." I started.

"Yeah, everyone heard that." He laughed. "What about after that?"

"That's the thing: I think I may have had a breakthrough or whatever." I said, feeling a little scared.

Adam perked up a bit, siting himself up and watching me intently to see if I was joking or not.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I think I found out how everything started. I'm still not sure how it managed to escalate into something this big." I gestured to the building. "But I think I was raped by my best friend."

Adam looked shocked. "You were raped? When did this happen?"

"It was on my fifteenth birthday. Me and my friends all got drunk and then when I was by myself, and I passed out. I pretty sure it was a roofie, then when I woke up, all sore and stuff, I saw Chad crying and begging me to forgive him. Everything else is still out of my grasp, but it's the first time I'm remembering any of this."

"And your sure it was your friend? Not someone else? You said some of your friends were their too, and most rapists don't sit by their victims, waiting for forgiveness." Adam questioned me.

"So you still don't believe me?" I asked, feeling hurt.

"No, it's not that. I have learned to not jump to conclusions in my life." The sable haired doctor explained.

"Could we arrange some sort of meeting or something? He has to know something, and I need to know what has happened to me, to what I used to be." I paused, not sure how to continue. "I used to be normal, I was the jock who wanted a scholarship to some big sports college, but after my fifteenth birthday I changed. I didn't care about it until I came here, until I realized that without my drugs, I wasn't truly that happy. I miss my old friends, having a normal family, and all that other junk like love and such."

I was sitting on the arm of a lounge chair, picking absentmindedly at the fibers of the upholstery. Adam sat there, taking it all in. It's funny how even without him saying anything, I still felt like he was comforting me, like things were gonna be okay. His eyes were to the ground, and his brows were furrowed in thought. I notice how he licked his lips, making them more kissable. And how his hair would fall out of place when he bent his head, and he would run his fingers through it. I noticed all of the little things that made my doctor Dr. Adam, sexy man M.D.. It was then that I realized that I was falling for the man, for someone who could never be with me; whether it was because of my status as patient, or as an underage teenager. I looked away from him, trying to get these thoughts out of my mind.

"What day do you want to see him? Your friend I mean?" Adam asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know. I'm not sure of anything anymore." I buried my face in my hands.

Adam stood in front of me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

"There has to be at least one thing you are sure of. Cling to it." He said, his chocolate brown eyes filled with warmth.

"Your right, there is one thing." I whispered.

I moved my face towards his a fraction of an inch, letting him decide if he wants this too. I looks at me with surprise, and I see his thoughts swim through his mind. With hesitation, he moves a little towards me. Seeing a window, I slowly put my shaking hands into his own, lacing my fingers with his. His face gets closer, and I can feel his moist breath, I shudder. Being around him makes me feel pure, like no one has touched me before, and I have all of the nerves of someone having their first kiss.

Adam slowly presses his lips to mine, testing the waters. I go into it more, deepening the kiss and pulling him closer. He realizes I'm okay with it and gets more confidant in his actions. He pulls away for a breath and rest his forehead against mine. I can feel his heat radiating onto me, and I press his body onto mine, wanting his heat on me. The touching of our groins caused a simultaneous gasp and we kissed again, this time more passionately than before. When we parted a pulled him into a hug and stayed like that. The thumping of his heartbeat comforted me and I was grateful in that all of my chaos I had one rock I could cling to.

I wasn't sure how long we were like that, but by the time we had parted the sky was dark.

"It's getting late, it's supposed to be the patients' curfew in two hours." He said. "Did you want to call tomorrow and find out when he could come over to visit?"

"Yeah, this needs to happen as soon as possible." I answered him. "You'll be with me right?"

"Of course, I'm your doctor, I have to be." He smiled. "One of the perks of being a resident: you have the same patients all of the time."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hello everyone! Sorry it's been so long since my last update: I have had loads of work to do lately. In order to get more hours at work, I had to start working overnight sometimes, which seriously cuts into my writing time. I'm still going strong with this story though, and I have a few more ideas for stories, although I'm thinking that maybe they should be original works. Anyways I apologize for the long time between updates an hope to fix that. Also, while writing this story, I've been becoming quite attached to Adam. What do you guys think?

Please review! I always say this and I really mean it! Don't feel your bugging me with stupid little gushes, I love those too. Criticism is also welcome, so long as it is constructive. Hope to hear from you guys!

-(RAWR!)