24. Anger

Three days passed since I moved from that position. I let Jason leave to eat and be human, but while he was gone all I did was curl up into a ball and suffer.

It finally hit me that Shadow was dead, and that it was my fault that he was.

Weeks then followed as I fell back into my normal routine. It took a while to get Sylvia to stop growling every time I walked into a room.

I made breakfast for Jason this morning and he was pleased that I was back to normal. As normal as I could get.

Another week passed and it was just a sunny Monday here in France. Of course I couldn't go out and Jason had already seen everything from last time I was here so we just stayed in this time.

"What day is it?" Jason asked randomly, "I lost track of time." he turned his body towards mine. I sat in his lap with my head on his chest.

"It's June 13th." I stated. I looked around the empty room. Only our breathing filled the silence of the house.

We were alone. Everyone else decided to go hunting, only for me to say 'I'm full'.

He nodded then looked out the window where the sun shined on him. He blocked the rays with his body and I could see the sweat starting to drip from the heat.

"I can sit in the sun if you want?" I hedged, hoping he would seek the shade.

"Are you sure it doesn't burn you?" he joked. "No pun intended." he smiled again. Of course I was sure he intended to make the pun.

"I'm sure."

"Well too bad. I'm starting to look as pale as you. I need to tan." Jason leaned over me, rubbing my back.

"Why did you want to know the date?" I asked. I almost forgot that he asked it just second ago.

"I, uh, just wanted to know how far away my 19th birthday was." he said slowly.

"Wow. 19 huh? Your getting so old." I laughed.

"Very funny."

My phone rang.

"I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hung over", roared loudly from my phone as I recognize Skylar's ring tone.

"Nice." Jason commented.

"What? You aren't in love with the Boy's like girls lead singer? I know I am." I tossed through some clothes and other pack rat stuff you collect over 4,000 years, and then I found my phone still blaring my favorite song.

"Hello?" I said calmly into the receiver.

Skylar's voice was strained. "You should get over here."

My whole body stiffened. "What's wrong?"

"I can't explain it to you right now. You just really need to get over here right now."

The phone line went dead.

"I can't believe he hung up on me!" I shouted. I ran and got the key's to Hannah's Ferrari Enzo and walked outside.

"Where are you going?"

"Just stay here, Jason. I'll be back soon." I slammed the car door shut and revved the gas. I pushed the pedal and raced off to the closet forest.

Even going as fast as I was it took me 3 minutes to get there. I left the car running and ran as fast as I could to where I sensed Skylar.

When I got there I stopped dead in my tracks.

Right in front of me was the body of Syd lying there, dead. Well of course being a vampire she was already the living dead, now we can just cross out the living part in it.

The way she was lying was wrong. Not just her position, but she was missing her arm and a part of her left foot. Her eyes were open and her mouth was placed in a way which meant she was screaming in agony when she was killed. Her red eyes were wide open as if she was trying to stare the other vampire down.

The only problem was that the only other scent besides ours here was Ben's.

"Ben?" I gasped. How could he do this to her? Syd was his mate? What happened here? Clearly were missing something. Surely Ben could not have done this?

"We don't want to believe it either, Claire." Nick whimpered softly. His face was in full torture. Nick and Syd were always close. It was like losing a best friend.

It was worse for me. Syd was new to this life. She was my sister. It hurt worse knowing I had already lost a sister before, not it was mind blowing now that I have lost two.

"Not again." I mouthed.

Sylvia couldn't even speak. I'm sure now that I have lost someone too she won't bring up Shadow again.

I looked at all the faces circled up around her, mourning the loss of a friend, a member of this family, a member of our world.

I walked to her side and put my hands underneath her head to lift it up. I fought back against the lump in my throat that would show this weakness of mine.

"I'm sorry." the words came out strangled from my mouth. I stood up and walked away from the dead girl there.

"Burn her." Skylar motioned to Nick and Dylan.

"No!" I screeched, lunging for both of them and bring them both down. I snarled loudly, knocking the lighter out of their hands. For some reason I felt an urge to protect her. It seemed wrong to burn Syd's body, even if she was dead, but some voice in my head told me to stop it. That's exactly what I did.

There was, of course, growling that followed as I felt arms rip me off of them. I launched myself up and flipped backwards, landing on my right foot.

"Why?" Skylar's voice was close and troubled. He wasn't angry, in fact I knew that he wanted to save it too, but he still wanted to burn her.

"Why?" I asked, my voice angry. "She's our sister, Skylar! She's part of our family! How could you just destroy her body like that? Don't you miss her at all?"

He opened his mouth to speak, I could hear the air he sucked in to talk, but I was already gone. I ran to the car, wanting to get away from here. I slammed down on the pedal, hard, and ended up back at Sylvia's house.

I burst through the door, making Jason jump. I was too angry to care at this point.

"Get in the car." I ordered, my voice harsh. He cringed slightly looking afraid, but he did as he was told. My the impatience in my voice he thought it best to run to the car.

I tossed tables, threw lamps, broke glass and made it look like a complete storm passed through here.

It was then that I saw I wasn't alone.

Through the red tint in my eyes, I saw our Cody standing with Trevor, who looked just as scared as Jason did.

"What are you looking at?" I spit through my clenched teeth. Again I gave no way for him to answer me. Cody could have came after me. He could have stopped me. He was still a new born after all, but I heard no sound of an approach.

The rage had came at last and this time I wasn't going to reign it in. I had lost too much this time. I had lost my best friend. To the one I used to love, or I guess I still sort of love him. My Cody didn't kill her, but he might as well have. He started this whole mess in the first place! Well, no. H didn't in fact Jason did, but I wasn't going to blame him for loving me. No. I was going to blame that monster for loving me. If he hadn't come back maybe my family would still be here. If he hadn't loved me I wouldn't be this monster I am now. All the if's just lining up after one another.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe even if I hadn't fallen in love with Jason and placed this whole catastrophe into action, Keith would have still pinned my family against me. He would have done this anyway, it was only a matter of time. This was just more convenient, because Sam was mad at me now too, for loving a human, so he thought he would strike while the fire was hot.

Now because of this disaster, I have lost so much more that I had ever planned to. I never wanted this fight, but I knew if I had to fight it, I would fight for Jason. It was just losing my family, that is what was ripping me apart.

I pulled the door off it's hinges, throwing about 5o yards away, and then walked throw it. I opened the car door and slammed it in the same motion. Jason winced as the glass in the back seat shattered.

Jason, too terrified to speak, just clutched the edge of his seat. I pushed the car forward, the engine snarling under the hood, as the car leaped forward in a moment.

Sure, running was way faster, but this gave me more time to think, even with all the room to do it, and I was sure if Jason was on my back, I would have crushed him.

I was still going too slow, I pushed the car faster, but it whined. I was already going faster that what was normal.

In my clear vision I saw a cop car coming up, who was clocking. I smiled as I slowed down just enough for there to be a chase. I smiled, waiting for the challenge I knew I was going to win.

I passed his, also running a red light, stunning the people I raced by. And in just a second there was flashing lights and the unmistakable siren that followed his coming.

Instead of fear in his eyes, I saw Jason smiling with amusement. I guessed he always wanted to do this one way or another.

I looked at the cops face in the rear view mirror, who was on the radio requesting back up. When he saw my face as I turned around to look at him through the broken glass in the back, he was surprised to see it was only a teenager and grumbled something unintelligible.

More sirens followed as he chased me through three cities. I pushed the car faster, and it purred beneath me like a lion, reacting to my wishes. This was a car built for this kind of thing.

As I got close to any sort of water ahead, I made a sharp U-turn, throwing the men off guard. They whirled past me in a flurry, but before they could stop me I was already far away. I heard the sirens fade into the background, like a song coming to an end. This was the most fun I had had in a real long time.

I threw my head back and laughed. Then something pushed Syd's dead body into the front of my mind and I remembered why I was speeding down the highway in the first place. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be in Oregon where I belonged for now.

Like someone heard me I was on a different rode, in a different country for that matter, speeding down a neighborhood road. I slowed down a bit more.

I recognized this street very well, it was my favorite one after all. Jason blinked in shock, also realizing where we were. I was on Jason's street pulling into his driveway, screeching the tires to a stop. I wanted to laugh on how I believed this was my home now, but I couldn't find in in me to be happy right now.

I jumped out of the car too fast and ran to yank Jason out of his seat. He was literally shaking when I touched his warm skin. He looked at my face with relief when he saw that I wasn't too angry anymore. I had mostly taken it out on the cops, Skylar-who be far did not deserve it-, and then lashing out on Cody and Trevor, who I haven't seen when I was at the house alone with Jason. I wonder where they were?

I knocked on the door and let myself in. I could see his father standing up tog get the door, but freezing in place as he saw me standing there. Shock and confusion flickered across his face, but he sat down again with a weird smile, like he was forcing it to be there.

"Hello." he said coolly. He crossed his arms while Jason went to go sit on the couch, leaving me standing where I came in.

"Hey." returned, keeping my eyes on his strange face, but did not let him see that I saw through it.

"How are things?"

"Fine." Jason responded this time, his voice shaky.

His father finally looked at Jason for a good long time and noticed that he was bleeding on his left cheek, when the glass had shattered in the car, he hair was a mess from the wind, and he looked like he was on drugs or high from the way he was twitching constantly.

"What happened to you?" his eyes had every accusation coming towards me.

"Had the windows open. Riding with Claire is a blast." he looked at me and winked, but his face fell when I didn't meet his smile. I felt guilty at once, but I couldn't find it in me, even to smile at him.

"Huh." he whispered, not getting the answer he expected. "Where's the rest of you?" he looked at me, his eyes wary staring into mine. When was he going to get over the red eyes? Yeesh.

"Heck if I know." I lied smoothly, Jason would be the only thing that would have given me away, but he stayed still probably think that if I wanted to lie about it, it was best to go along.

"Guess it makes no sense to beat around the bush." he sighed looking sad. As if he didn't want to say what he was going to.

Then don't say it, I thought to myself.

"I saw you two on TV last night." he wouldn't meet either of our eyes. He just kept his head down. "Would either of you like to explain why you both," he emphasized the word, "On the most wanted list for murder as well as your entire family." he finally looked at me and met my glare.

Yep I was totally pissed again.